i am the bad wolf, i create myself

Fandomstuff, with a dash of witchcraft, art, slight NSFW , and music. Feel free to apply to be my boyfriend. Witch of Space, Prospit dreamer, Fourth District Tribute, Slytherin, Water Bender. My tags are witchstuff, gaystuff, herbalstuff, and artstuff (if you want to see posts related to the name). There's also a tag for things that inspire my writing, titled efestuff. Things you'll find a lot: Marvel, DC, FF12, Adventure Time, Harry Potter, and all kinds of fandom shit. Best known as shoutlumosmaxima, but I've had other names too. < rm_f1st('3','130','true','false','000000','4xeiins05we','true','ff0000'); Rest in Peace, Ken. July 25, 2011 bg

[djinnferno]

Also this is what I look like now if y’all haven’t followed me/seen me on FB what’s up buttercups

[djinnferno]

It was interesting to come back to all these weird dirty spam messages lemme tell uuuuuu

[brightmoontrigon]

dreaming city + crystals

[spelldealer]

i know most of them are just literal animal combinations, but avatar has some of the best fantasy animal character designs i’ve ever seen

[spelldealer]

thinkin about turtle duck………..

[moistmailman]

Zelda, watching Link’s adventure and seeing him painfully tumble down a large rocky mountain while simultaneously eating 7 full meals on the way down just in order to survive the fall:

[trynottodrown]

[meglyman]

Mimic Octopus has had enough of Dancing Crab’s shenanigans

[bugcthulhu]

darn dancing crabs and their jazz crab hands

[blue-bower]

‘HELLO MY BABY HELLO MY H-“ “NO”

[batchygyo]

i cant control my hand suddenly

[charminglyantiquated]

wanderlust and what you could become

(they’re pen pals for the rest of the traveler’s life)

[ophanic]

[lizmitches]

same energy

[carolxdanvers]

How dare you. The animation for Shrek at the time was INSANE.

[norwayspruce]

I feel like what people who were born after Shrek always miss is that it was actually a huge unironic cultural sensation. The minions want what Shrek had. The mcu sits awake at night cursing lord farquaad because they could never have a villain as well written as him

[the--zubatman]

Shrek won the first Oscar for animated feature.

[mr-reblogbutton-archived]

we literally analyze Shrek in my acting class for how good it is at character acting and placing motivations for the audience to subtly understand. Shrek is great.

[strangehorse]

jupiter ascending

i respect the sheer level of gay dramatic aesthetic these three villains are giving off

[strangehorse]

we’re like ten minutes in and i’ve understood…. absolutely nothing. just shit all. i’m having a great time tho. fiance has been put in control of changing the volume according on how loud the music is in any given scene 

[strangehorse]

heard my friend say ‘i changed my mind, this film is amazing now’ and i looked up, expecting something good, and it was just a fucking dragon man. don’t befriend furries 

[strangehorse]

WAS THAT A FUCKING ALIEN ABDUCTION???????/

[strangehorse]

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS 

[strangehorse]

what the fuck. a bat lady is here with an orgy in a pleasure chamber. mila kunis just got levitated in midair for a murder attempts. i feel like i’m twelve years old and ill and rapidly switching between three channels while feverish 

[strangehorse]

actually every woman’s fantasy is, in fact, that you’re donating your eggs for telescope money but then you levitate into the air and the aliens you saw while your hot friend was undressing genetically test you and try to murder you, but then channing tatum bursts through a wall and kills every alien and scoops you into your arms and puts you on his ship

[strangehorse]

whenever i get up to stir my spaghetti i miss about four movies worth of plot. there’s a spaceship chase scene where one of the participants is chihuahua tatum on magic heelies with mila kunis on his back. about four million shots have been fired but zero have hit. this is outstandingly good

[strangehorse]

I GOT UP TO STIR MY PASTA AND I CAME BACK AND THEY INFORMED ME SHE IS HOLDING A SANITARY TOWEL TO HIS GAPING WOUND

HELLO??????????????//

[strangehorse]

SEAN BEE IS HERE!

i don’t know why we just got slow-mo shot of his face, but we did 

[strangehorse]

sean bean and channing tatum are having a fistfight while his daughter just hangs out

i have no idea what’s happening but i stan

[strangehorse]

“She’s a… beemancer?” 

“WHAT THE FUCK”

“WHAT THE FUCK”

“WHAT THE FUCK”

“SHE’S THE FUCKING QUEEN BEE????”

“THE SANITARY TOWEL IS STILL THERE”

“FUCK”

[strangehorse]

this film is outstandingly good. god. i’m so delighted.

bees are genetically designed to sense loyalty. they don’t lie. they-

my friend, unhappily: they can only count to five, shaun

[strangehorse]

of course he’s called caine. of course. they can’t decide how much he’s human and how much he’s a dog. ‘they wanted him put down’? he BIT someone???? how far does this go? does he need a flea collar? is he neutered? 

[strangehorse]

god this film is so fucking weird and i love it. i’m in love with it. channing tatum is rollerblading shirtless and this is the first BMT movie to pass bechdel. this is female wish fulfillment and i love it 

[strangehorse]

naked men, naked women, big explosions, bad science? truly excellent. we’re in church devoted to genes and my fiance is demanding i find out whether or not richard dawkins has seen this film 

[strangehorse]

MY BOWELS ARE ANYTHING BUT ROYAL

also

channing tatum: i murdered a person 

her: why do guys only like bitches who treat them like shit

[strangehorse]

she’s known channing tatum like thirty minutes and she’s SO thirsty. i respect this. normally in films there’s like, lingering touches, eye contact etc, but she just straight up was like ‘PLEASE fuck me’. 

also when i was trying to guess in which context ‘i love dogs, i’ve always loved dogs’ would appear, i would not have guessed that. i would never have guessed that. 

[strangehorse]

i’d like to go on record as saying that:

a) this bureaucracy montage is very, very good

b) that is the single most homosexual robot i have ever seen

[strangehorse]

this film is SO fucking horny. so unspeakably horny. she straight up looked him in the eye and was like ‘call me ‘my majesty’ again’. you really making it this fucking clear that mila kunis is a top? fifty shades of grey WISHES it had what this film has

[strangehorse]

this is, again, the specific female fantasy. channing tatum rescues you fro an unpleasant medical procedure, flies you around the city on his magic hovershoes, takes you to meet sean bean who reveals you are the ruler of all bees, reveals you are in fact the queen of the entire earth, gives you a royal document and then looks you in the eyes and does the equivalent of saying ‘daddy’. you get to wear like four different fancy dresses and then a new hot guy proposes to you over dinner. you’re somehow able to read and understand complex legal documents easily and you get to spit out stature to dunk on a random thottie. nothing makes anything sense but honestly, what in life does? when i die i hope i end up in this movie

[strangehorse]

later on your father figure beats up your shitty cousin with a pillow while yelling ‘you don’t treat your cousin like chicken!’? this film has single handedly disproved the entirety of transphobia. the wachowskis made this film and there can be no doubt these fabulous bitches are women

[strangehorse]

never before have i thought a single film should have been a trilogy, but things that should take like forty minutes happen in about thirty seconds in this movie. she’s currently getting married to that random hot guy in front of millions of people somehow. channing tatum got blasted into space and then got rescued with absolutely no dramatic tension or fanfare. fiance just described this as the epitome of the subreddit ‘awful taste but great execution’. friend described this as ‘just a bunch of shapes on a screen’. other friend is just staring, speechless. i’m living my best life

[strangehorse]

man he really gave up on the pretense IMMEDIATELY. 

‘he told me he was going to kill you’

the main guy: that’s true. i was. you’re a bimbo and i’m hotter than you. 

anyway now jupiter is having an emo moment in the corner of her spaceship as if channing terrier didn’t essentially break up a wedding by yelling ‘I OBJECT!’ at the last minute, thus fulfilling any reasonable person’s hopes and dreams 

[strangehorse]

the main villain is SO overdramatic. i absolutely cannot handle this. I CREATE LIFE!!!!!!!!! i can’t tell if i’m too drunk or not drunk enough for this movie

[strangehorse]

nobody is appreciating this film enough except for me. everything is very good here except the elephant-man splice. that is very very bad actually.

[strangehorse]

that was the single horniest thing i’ve ever seen in my life. i lost at least four IQ points and gained at least a 40% increase in serotonin. god bless us, everyone.

[strangehorse]

the morning after, i can only apologise for all the types and misspellings (’stature’ instead of ‘statute’ being my least favourite). i was pretty sober but i feel like the film just permanently changed some things in my brain

[djinnferno]

This is literally the best movie and no one can change my mind on this.

[naropinosa]

[1gm]

[rodrickheffeley]

hozier singing about bones, dead bodies, preys, predators, decomposing, satanic sacrifice, anal sex:

me and the girls:

[yo-daddys-my-bitch]

May the 10 of Pentacles bless your account with more money than you can spend. 💵✨

[hermes-is-my-homeboy]

10 of Pentz came thruuu

[violaslayvis]

Omg this actually works!!! Thank you 10 of Pentacles!!!

[borkdork]

I could seriously use this money right now….

[ashashi-corner]

Please give me my refund of 400$ soon…

[hermes-is-my-homeboy]

I feel obligated to reblog this every time it shows up in my dash

[hermes-is-my-homeboy]

No bragging, just 100% floored and grateful. Work hard, maintain a positive attitude, and believe that anything can happen.

[mchashimi]

So I reblogged this exactly a week ago because I thought it was funny and uh lo and behold, a family friend wrote me a big ol’ check just to help me out of a tough financial spot AND my bank refunded me $32 for fees they’d originally taken out. SO UH YEAH. Reblogging this again in hopes that it brings equally good fortune to my followers.

[penprp]

Sure why not? Jobs bring in money and prosperity…

[leradny]

I NEED TO FIX MY CAR DOOR

[getlostpeeves]

It fucking WORKED.

[tigerb69]

We’ll see

[naropinosa]

[batteredshoes]

Now listen, you rich people, weep and wail because of the misery that is coming on you. Your wealth has rotted, and moths have eaten your clothes. Your gold and silver are corroded. Their corrosion will testify against you and eat your flesh like fire. You have hoarded wealth in the last days. Look! The wages you failed to pay the workers who mowed your fields are crying out against you. The cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of the Lord Almighty. You have lived on earth in luxury and self-indulgence. You have fattened yourselves in the day of slaughter. You have condemned and murdered the innocent one, who was not opposing you.— James 5:1-6

[arythusa]

At first I thought this was an angry Tumblr post but then it turned out to be the Literal Bible and it got 1000x better

[serpents-fr]

i thought op was a witch and was cursing rich people and i got so into it

[henrvcavill]

TITANS - S02E09: Atonement

[thelurkeratthethreshhold-deacti]

[feministism]

[fishyandclintbarton]

Reblogging this into existance.