s

dan and phil sideblog and the place I dump discourse posts

[ahappydnp]

pre hard launch did the ever accidentally slip up. like accidentally say something or do something incriminating but then played it off. i couldn’t imagine with all the live shows they did not slipping at least once

i can’t even think of a witty response this has broken me

[alittledizzy]

[youre-my-wonderful]

[howelldaniel]

[dnplegs]

fujoshied too close to the sun and now I'm a trans guy who loves threesomes

[dnplegs]

I've seen a lot of ppl in this tag asking about how to vet ABA therapy centers as a potential employee. I've been working at an autism care center for almost two years now so here are some tips you can use to see if a clinic is using abusive practices.

Firstly, keep an eye out for these red flags:

any use of physical restraint

withholding of food, water, or sensory regulation tools in order to gain motivation

expectation to use eye contact, limit stimming behavior, or forgo sensory regulation tools like headphones, fidgets, chewies, etc

use of punishment* - aka intentionally causing an aversive experience with the goal of reducing a behavior

And here are some scripts you can use to gauge how ABA-critical a center is:

"I'm passionate about autism care but I know ABA has a history of abusive practices. What kind of measures do you have in place to ensure that clients have a beneficial experience?"

"I understand I will be taking clinical direction from a BCBA**. If I have concerns about a BCBA's clinical practices, who can I discuss this with?"

And, if you're unsure, you can always ask directly:

"Do you use physical restraint at your clinic?"

"Do you use punishment at your clinic?"

"Are clients ever expected to use eye contact/forgo sensory regulation tools/limit stimming behaviors?"

If you're nervous about being this direct, you can always start with:

"I have a friend/family member who had a traumatic experience with ABA, and I'm passionate about delivering empathetic, trauma-informed care to autistic people."

Being an RBT has been my favorite job I've ever had and it's so important for clients of ABA that the people who work with them really care about ethical practices. I hope this is helpful for people curious about the field.

*Punishment at its worst looks like intentionally causing physical pain to a client, but it can also involve removing preferred activities or items. Client motivation should be acquired through reward rather than punishment. An example of this could look like:

A client frequently climbs on tables in a way that is unsafe. A punishment could mean removing the client's favorite toy from the area until the client returns to the ground. At my clinic, which doesn't use punishment at all, I would position my body so that I can catch them if they fall, and either wait them out or offer a motivating item on the ground.

**BCBA stands for Board Certified Behavior Analyst and they typically supervise RBTs on how to deliver therapy. A BCBA will write goals for clients (like "uses fork to self-feed") and the RBT will prompt clients through the goals and take data on how the client is doing.

[morganpixie]

This is such a fantastic post with so much amazing information it makes me so happy!!

I would also like to add: it goes hand in hand with limiting basic necessities (food, water, sensory regulation tools, etc.) for literally any reason being a huge red flag - it’s also important to keep an eye out for clinics, or specific clinicians within even a potential clinic conducting ethical practices, that limit client access to communication aides. This most often can be seen with clients that use an AAC device, but it could happen with any communication aide. Clinicians, or anyone for that matter, should NEVER be removing or restricting client access to an AAC device or any communication aide for ANY reason. This is another HUGE red flag to look out for in ABA clinics.

Limiting or removing access to an AAC device for a child, or anyone, is essentially the equivalent of taping their mouth shut. It’s abusive and unacceptable for any reason. Children should ALWAYS have their AAC device or communication aide available to them, and clinics or clinicians that take them away so “it’s not a distraction” or “they need to stop stimming on the buttons” or “they’re wasting time playing with it” or ANY OTHER REASON are a red flag and just straight up wrong.

Also, keep an eye out for clinicians that don’t collaborate across disciplines or respect the expertise of others in a non-ABA field that are working with the same clients. It’s very common for children receiving ABA services to also be receiving speech or occupational therapy, and a cross-disciplinary approach can be greatly beneficial for clients, so if you have a BCBA that won’t defer to a speech-language pathologist for speech related issues, insists they know better than the SLP, or straight up does the opposite of what an SLP or OT says is best or necessary for the client, you should a. Report their ass, and then b. RUN. A good BCBA will know that they do not have all of the knowledge necessary for every client and will be willing to work with others, both in and out of the ABA discipline, to provide quality and ethical care for their clients.

[prophecyofgray]

reblog if you're a woman with really big boobs a weird person and/or a really camp gay person

[dnplegs]

a while ago I made a long post in this tag about ABA clinic red flags to look out for. I've worked at two more clinics since then, so here's an update.

The ABA clinics I've worked at haven't ever had a whiff of physical restraint, punishment, or serious cruelty. It's much more likely to see 1. unfairly rigid clinical practices or 2. neglect of cleanliness or safety.

First, here's some things to look out for when checking out a new clinic.

1. assent-based, play-based, and trauma-informed therapy

"Assent-based" means that BTs are expected to continually seek assent from clients for things like touch, interference in play, etc.

"Play-based", "naturalistic", "NET", "client-led" are all ABA jargon that lets you know that therapy follows client motivation. This means, for example, that BTs will teach a client to label "red" by asking a client about the red car they're playing with. The opposite of NET is DTT (discrete trial training), one of the more rigid ABA practices that typically requires that the client sit down at a table and run through a series of "trials" (like "what color is this?" with a red card in front of them) before accessing a "reinforcer" like a preferred toy or candy.

I would advise would-be BTs, especially if you're looking to work with clients under 12, to avoid DTT at all costs. Clinics that advertise themselves as play-based are a great place to start. ESDM (Early Start Denver Model) is an especially good sign imo.

2. high standards of cleanliness

Clinics should always be stocked with gloves, baby wipes, and disinfectant wipes anywhere that clients are eating or toileting. A well-stocked and clean clinic is a good sign that management is prioritizing safety for clients and BTs.

It's also a really good sign if toys are well-organized. There should be an identifiable place for unclean toys or any other hazards to be placed out of reach of clients.

3. YouTube/iPad use

This isn't necessarily a sign of abuse, but a clinic having over 20% of their clients watching YouTube Kids or equivalent at any given time is definitely a bad sign. Heavy iPad use is often a "shortcut" to gain assent from a client who otherwise isn't getting their needs met while sitting down at a table.

Sometimes it's important to get a client to sit down, like while they're eating, in which case BTs should be making an effort to gain client motivation and address sensory needs. Other times, like with DTT, iPads are used as a motivator to sit at a table when the client could be learning the same valuable skills while moving around and playing.

There are some exceptions to this. I've known kids who would show lots of aggression or self injury if they didn't have constant access to iPads, in which case a clinic should be providing access to keep everyone safe while working to reduce dependence in other ways. Otherwise, YouTube can be really helpful during toilet training to make the bathroom more motivating and to encourage kids to stay seated on the toilet. A competent BCBA will give you clear instructions on how and when to provide access to iPads.

4. 1:1 care and privacy

Be aware of the physical structure of the clinic. Are there any rooms that you might be 1:1 with a client, with no one else in the room? If so, do those rooms have large windows? Are they ever covered? Are there cameras?

Autistic clients sometimes need time away from peers. But, for your safety and for theirs, you should never be in a situation where you and a client might go unobserved for longer than 5 minutes. My first clinic had cameras in every room and my current clinic doesn't have any private therapy rooms. I recently left a clinic that had private therapy rooms with large windows facing the hallway, and honestly that was still pretty iffy to me.

Not all of these things will be clearly observable, especially if you're on the first round of interviews. Here's some questions you can ask an employer to get a sense of whether a clinic is providing ethical care:

"How do you respond to more intensive challenging behaviors?" (the answer should never be restraint)

"How much do you use YouTube/iPad videos with clients?"

"What are some ways you ensure that BTs and BCBAs are held to high standards of care?"

"If a BT has clinical concerns, who can they talk to?"

It's also important to note that BTs need to look out for themselves as well. While we don't share many of the vulnerabilities of our clients, we deal with the most physical risk out of any employees at a clinic, and we are at a lot of risk of exploitation by administrators.

Ask questions, and ask for support from BCBAs and fellow BTs. And ask me questions in the comments if you'd like!

[lovinito-vargas-blog]

[phandomgives]

We don't have psychic @amazingphil on hand but we do have the RANDOM DAN & PHIL TAROT CARD GENERATOR complete with dnp specific descriptions written by phannies!

🔮ask the pharot deck🔮

Do the cards say to donate to Phil's birthday drive supporting lgbtq+ youth 👀

[danandphilupdates]

danandphil tiktok repost

7/1/26

[myheadphonesareneverloudenough]

what a time to be alive

[dnpg-hiatus-survivor]

the emoji,,, ugh he’s in love with him

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Monthly Follower Recs

Monthly follower recommendations for the month of November & December 2025

am i finally in my bear era? (ao3) - k_m_s_j

Summary: after the filming of their halloween baking, dan takes a couple pictures in his costume, phil loses his mind at how pretty his partner can be.

OR- dan and phil fuck on halloween while dan keeps his costume on, underwear off

Bad Day (ao3) - mermaidstailonmyface (louislittletomlintum)

Summary: the one where phil makes dan's bad day just a little bit better

Bite Me (ao3) - uselessbisexualrage

Summary: Dan and Phil add a new element to their sex life.

Vampire AU.

bruising up my heart. (ao3) - bluessunset

Summary: Dan shows up to his best friend Tony’s fancy destination wedding convinced he’s still nursing a hopeless crush. Instead, he immediately injures Phil, the groom’s chaotic soon-to-be brother-in-law who is fresh off a breakup and trying very hard not to fall apart in public.

It’s messy, it’s romantic, it’s a wedding weekend gone wrong in all the right ways.

bunny (ao3) - blossomsphan

Summary: dan's feeling some type of way after filming "date everything".

Carpet Burns (ao3) - scaryfangirl2001

Summary: Dan is a right brat the day after he and Phil host the Brit Awards nominations. Phil takes care of him.

Cookies, Allegedly Homemade (ao3) - Anonymous

Summary: It’s Christmas Eve, and Phil wakes to find his neighbour passed out on his couch

Dearest Fantasy (ao3) - Anonymous

Summary: Dan discovers a newfound kink while trying to tease Phil, one that he keeps trying to insist is nothing more than a joke.

Spoiler alert: it’s not a joke.

Demon of Temptation (ao3) - dipnpip

Summary: "Why do any of the difficult stuff when the fun is right there?" - Daniel Howell

Don't Trip on That Invisible String They're Leaving Around (ao3) - lunavelle (redareia)

Summary: Collection of glimpses into when Dan and Phil are brought together for the first time in five different alternate realities from our own.

down the hall (ao3) - dipnpip

Summary: with builders in the house, the boys have a little fun down the hall.

flip flop era (ao3) - Anonymous

Summary: had this in the drafts since around how phil nearly died dropped oops lol! no beta so sorry if this is a mess. my first phanfic so be nice!!

Friday Night Amiright Brother? (ao3) - Coffeeand_Cake

Summary: A Friday night in for our boys <3

Plotless filth, enjoy

(fuck me) baby one more time (ao3) - napstarblook

Summary: After Dan and Phil finish recording their big video opening up about their relationship, they have one last hurrah on the phedsheets before flying into the new era.

Help Taking it Off (ao3) - cats_with_no_tails

Summary: I don’t know if Dan helped Phil pick out the phlonde-launch outfit, but I certainly imagine he helped take it off.

Set the day of Phil’s blonde hair announcement - Dan comes home to him in that cunty little midriff and wants to devour him.

High on You (ao3) - letspartyrightnow

Summary: There was nothing else like it. Nothing like waking up to Dan, laughing with him, loving him. It was the easiest goddamned thing he had ever done.

I wouldn't have it any other way (ao3) - Strangehamstergirl

Summary: Phil has been in a mood all day and Dan is finally fed up. When Phil finally admits what's bothering him, things don't go the way either of them expected.

in every life (ao3) - youreabadliar

Summary: They're on holiday, they're in love, and Fi wants Dani all to herself.

Incapacitated (ao3) - mermaidstailonmyface (louislittletomlintum)

Summary: the one where dan has a broken arm and needs help with washing his hair

Instincts (ao3) - mapofproblematique

Summary: Dan just looks amazing, and Phil can’t resist him - and luckily, he doesn’t have to. Phil always thinks too much. But in rare moments like this, he runs on instinct. One of his main instincts: Dan.

Kiss, Blow, Lick (ao3) - scaryfangirl2001

Summary: After the latest phodcast, that Activity card is still on Dan's mind...

knockout! (ao3) - moonsphilip

Summary: Boxers Daniel Howell and Phil Lester fight in the ring but have a different kind of relationship privately.

Lace and Longing (ao3) - httphowell

Summary: Dan, alone in his hotel room after a long show, snaps a mirror selfie for Phil—just a hint of lace peeking out from beneath his oversized hoodie.

Like a Prayer (ao3) - harrysbabyboo

Summary: Shy, girl teacher Phil Lester is convinced to go for a night out at a new lesbian bar with her friends. It’s there that she meets exotic dancer and everyone’s favourite girl, Sister Daniel.

Love Yourself (ao3) - imnotinclinedtomaturity

Summary: A lot of things about Dan's life are pretty great. He gets to make the music he wants, he's got a great fanbase, and his manager is his best friend. A few things about his life suck a bit more. He's currently lacking inspiration, he's rather lonely, and he's stuck in a rut.

Dan's been going to the same coffee shop for years. It's quiet, it's quaint, it's near his home. Most importantly: none of the employees give a shit that's he a world-famous singer. Things change when he meets the new barista.

Lovestruck (ao3) - SideOfVoid

Summary: Dan is visiting Phil for the first time while Phil's parents are home, and though they may think they're being subtle, Kath and Nigel notice a few things.

Lynx Africa, Piña Colada (ao3) - scaryfangirl2001

Summary: Phil takes Dan's virginity

Miss Missing You (ao3) - Flamingbluepanda

Summary: Dan's home from tour, and Phil has missed him

Personal Getaway (ao3) - developerdaniel

Summary: aka the fic where Phil takes Dan on a mini vacation to a personal villa in Italy where Phil treats Dan like the prince he is and romance & smut ensue on this personal getaway from a busy life.

(please me) show me how it's done (ao3) - lesbaurinkos (pluginbaby)

Summary: “Just. Could you– I just…” Dan mumbles, catching his bottom lip between his teeth. There’s a lovely flush blooming over his cheeks, blotchy and wonderful, swallowing up his freckles, and Phil aches.

“…Tell me I’m good?”

(or: sometimes dan just needs to be taken care of.)

Praise With Your Body (ao3) - galacticneighbor

Summary: Phil has a thing for being called Angel.

Sister Daniel doesn't mind getting on her knees for him.

push and pull (ao3) - Celeste (artificialmac)

Summary: The aftermath of filming the 2025 Halloween Baking video.

rebrand (ao3) - dan-whoell (infiniteseriesofhalfways)

Summary: Phil makes some changes and meets a boy named Dan.

Risky Shower (ao3) - letspartyrightnow

Summary: Dan and Phil out by that shower in the middle of no where, in love

say your prayers every night (ao3) - hailholylight

Summary: In a dark theater, he giggles in your ear. He holds your hand. He’s so excitable, and it’s rubbing off on you. The world shimmers. Your heart hasn’t stopped racing in weeks. Sixteen years, and it feels like you’re falling for the first time.

Sister (Daniel), I'm Not Much (ao3) - chewswisely777

Summary: Phil doesn't mind not being a party person, but coming to terms with not being straight is a much bigger challenge, especially with a beautiful girl always throwing herself at him. She drags him to a party, and there he meets a flirty, crossdressing nun who doesn't mind trying something new if it means getting Phil to confront his sexuality long enough to get him in bed.

softer than shadow (ao3) - phegetarian

Summary: they meet at a bonfire

spotlight (ao3) - gentlesun

Summary: Phil didn’t intend to start making porn.

Okay, well, technically he was just editing porn, and not really making it himself, but those little details don’t really matter when you try and tell someone what you’re doing with your summer.

On his first day on the job, they make him come to the studio.

He meets Dan.

Take the Blade Away (Keep it Close) (ao3) - letspartyrightnow

Summary: Shaving can mean a lot of things. Sometimes it means Phil wants to lick every inch of Dan’s skin. So he does.

The altar is my hips, even if it's a false god (we'd still worship this love) (ao3) - philsslit

Summary: dan and phil are lesbians. featuring sister daniel. and strap. that's it that's the fic.

The boy from Prague (ao3) - PhanOfThe_Pheal

Summary: He's approached by a boy. She seems to be wearing some kind of sexy nun costume? Not that he's complaining. The fishnets show off her legs so beautifully and the innocence in her eyes creates such a contrast. She's only just taller than himself, which not many people are, and has the most beautiful brown eyes he's ever seen. He never thought brown could look so pretty.

The Glorious Return of Bear and Cat (ao3) - Gracefullblabber

Summary: Dan's idea to become femboys for this year's baking video had been so unhinged that Phil wasn't sure it was a good plan. Still, it was a plan, and he quickly discovered its unexpected merits. For fuck's sake, were the fishnets and garters really necessary?

Porn, with a dash of contemplation regarding parasocial relationships

The Horny Type of Hypnosis (ao3) - dimpledcherries

Summary: After a show, with energies high, it's required to find a way to get it all out. Plus, Dan loves to keep himself busy.

The Only Sun That Doesn't Blind (ao3) - Gracefullblabber

Summary: Manchester was a fucking miserable place, all the rain of London without the charming Thames, all the industrial and none of the chic, but too middle class to hit the Trainspotting vibe of emo ennui. But if Phil would keep looking at him like that, with sunshine leaking out of his goddamn pores, as if Dan was the most incredible thing he'd ever seen, then maybe the city wasn't a complete waste of space.

In which Dan experiences a lot of angst but gets to come in his pants, so really, it works out in the end...

the room is getting quiet (ao3) - gayward_son

Summary: The worst part was that he wasn't there to do anything to stop it. But even miles away, he knew exactly what had happened. He swore sometimes that he and Phil could read each other’s minds, but now, he felt nothing.

On the night Dan decides to talk to Phil about their future together, a horrifying accident changes his life forever.

to love and be loved (ao3) - moonsphilip

Summary: "I’m pretty boring, you know. You’d get tired of me pretty fast.”

With a confident shake of her head, Fi says, “I don’t think so. Who else would tell me Lost lore while annihilating Guitar Hero? Who else would sit with me in my bathroom and comfort me after I got my period and fucked our weekend up?”

Too Sweet To Me (ao3) - YaminoTenshi202

Summary: ”You really think my make-up was pretty? My eyeliner was messy.”

”It was perfect.”

It really was.

Unbuttoned, Unbothered, Unstoppable (ao3) - httphowell

Summary: After their Terrible Influence Tour show, Dan and Phil return to their hotel room, where Phil, still buzzing with energy, lounges in a half-unbuttoned shirt, golden trousers, and a pair of ridiculous wolf ears. Dan wants to make fun of him, but instead, he finds himself staring, caught off guard by just how good Phil looks like that.

under the blue sun (ao3) - dipnpip

Summary: the boys get sloshed on a beach in Portugal. circa 2010.

We're (Not) All Doomed (Just Phil) (ao3) - Gracefullblabber

When the Storm Ends (ao3) - letspartyrightnow

Summary: dan gets caught in a snow storm and has to knock on a stranger's door to take shelter

Yeah, I Saw Sparks (ao3) - letspartyrightnow

Summary: Dan was very and wonderfully confused. She didn’t even know this woman’s name, and yet here Dan was, standing in apparently her new place of employment, hair a mess, clothes wrinkly and probably smelly from when she picked them up off the floor.

Was this really happening?

Was it really that easy?

You are a fucking Dog (ao3) - ExplicitStark

Summary: Daniel Howell Prince of Entrada, Next in line for the throne. Phillip Lester , street racer and local Punk

how does one dog collar change their hatred ?

You Fit Me (ao3) - Persadial

Summary: In other words, their first time, because they fell into it hard and fast in 2009.

You'll Beg Me to Come Sex You (ao3) - yoonieebaby

Summary: Dan can't stop thinking about Phil's hands on him, and so he sends him a rather risky gift.

You're something beautiful, a contradiction (ao3) - carolincrazy

Summary: i saw the mirror selfie and ran away with it

[aaronsmarquis-blog]

legit photo of dan and delia, ok

[danielhowell]

<33

[bestofphantwitter]

Link

[reunitedinterlude]

the first month post-hard launch (october 13, 2025 - november 13, 2025)

[phodcast]

thinking about phil saying they almost broke up when the vday video leaked and about how it leaked in september 2011 when they hadn’t even been together two years and it was only one month since they had officially moved in together and only one month since dan decided he didn’t want to be in uni and was giving the youtuber thing a shot and how scary it must have been for dan to have committed himself personally and professionally to someone only to have that almost come all crashing down one month later and how scary it must have been for phil to have just moved onto this next stage of life with dan but then have to watch him struggle because he still wasn’t ready to come out while also dealing with something very personal to him being leaked and i am having very normal reactions while thinking this