Comedic Phrase

Im 18+, just call me Doc. Good luck getting anything else outta me. ♡

[corantus]

locked the fuck in get my money up

[skoomabong]

[kidzbopdeathgrips]

*slams you with my fucking PUSSY

[were-ralph]

[bonersniper]

CUNT force trauma

[sailatina3]

[dovv]

post nut clarity does not properly convey the gravity of the pre nut insanity. like truly.

[vocabulary-altering-posts]

PHRASE ADDED!

"pre nut insanity"

[stillmissing]

starting a collection #blackmold

[fortheturnstiles]

[onethirdofimpossible]

@bamsara <3

[bamsara]

i need mold to live

[ooppo]

Your heart is not true enough to enter the gates of Margaritaville

[innerchildabortionclinic]

I really do wish meeting new people when you're autistic didn't result in the person viewing you as secretly evil for at least a month before realizing you just act slightly different than others without ulterior motive. I get that people meet a lot of assholes in life but omg. I didn't do anything

[innerchildabortionclinic]

Need to wear a shirt that says this

[skopostheorie]

Once I "made" a custom emoji for my mum by crudely drawing a hijab on it and now whenever she wants me to buy a coffee for her I get a text like this

[cnmcn]

absolutley enchanted by cobepee

[gorbling]

Im enjoying the longevity of tumblrs recontextualization style of humor. a seemingly innocuous post followed by like "posts that a gnome would make" or like "are you a phone"

[gorbling]

[hapalopus]

[hapalopus]

More from the notes:

[vexwerewolf]

I love this post

[karifaevt]

The horse thinks as it scratches an itch

[woodrider]

ma'am, I'm going to place you on a brief hold while I look for a reaction image

[queer-here-and-in-fear]

shorthands for dumbassery that i have grown to love deeply

"how dare you say we piss on the poor" in response to someone misinterpreting your post

"_ isnt gonna fuck you" for suck up behavior

"woah. should we tell everyone? should we throw a party?" for who the fuck cares

"and what if the world was made of pudding" for when would this ever matter.

"and sharks are smooth both ways" for a group of people heatedly arguing with 1 guy who is fucking with them all

".. but its about a witch in the alps finding her lost cat" for someone trying to sanitize something to the point of absurdity

[queer-here-and-in-fear]

this is prime proof that this ENTIRE WEBSITE is autistic because nowhere else would a no tags post that's just an informative list about slang get this much traction.

[queer-here-and-in-fear]

anyway more addittions

“30-50 wild hogs” for someone making ABSURD excuses for violence.

“what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament” for how do you know that without being a part of it.

“anyone in this thread smoke weed” for the shit you people are saying is so off topic this might as well be a general discussion forum

“dogs are boys and cats are girls” for ooh ur mindset did not grow past 4th grade, huh

“color theory in a childrens hospital” for bending over backwards to not agree that YEA, that thing Came Off Weird

“you are a tar pit” for someone finding any reason to respond with outrage.

“is the __ in the room with us right now?” for I Don’t Think That’s Real.

“bean soup? im allergic to beans!” for ik this doesn’t work for you, but that’s not a flaw. not everything can be for you.

“people irl: hey man hows it going” for this will Never Matter irl

[ayeforscotland]

I’ve been in absolute tears cry laughing at this for the past 15 minutes.

[ayeforscotland]

Someone reblogged this and holy fuck I got to laugh all over again. Bizarro country.

[motherish]

Out of all the replies to this post I hate this one the most because that is EXACTLY what I did. Literally the first god damn thing.

[fagrance]

I hate this so much. Piccolo doesn’t have a dick. Namekians don’t have dicks. They probably don’t have *any* genitalia. A Piccolo figure would be the only figure that would make sense to not have any genitalia unlike all other dolls/figures but they gave him boxers anyway. And no way anyone in DBZ wears underwear while fighting, that stuff chaffes. You ever see panty lines under Vegeta’s spandex? No. No you don’t.

[motherish]

Well i got news for you vegeta wears tighty whities 

[doujinshi]

im going back to bed

[preserving-tiktok]

[taraljc]

This is an awesome use of what is probably a master's degree if not a doctorate and I am 100% thrilled that she shared it even though it was embarrassing and she squeaked.

[liminalbeauty]

Thank you, adorable scientist, for making people's lives better.

[punchspeedchunk]

As an Australian, THIS WOMAN IS A FUCKING GODSEND.

[weaselle]

Californian (sup, fellow desert-havers) i've been using this since i saw it and it works so fucken good dude (i often have to put like 8 dogs in my car, so it's extra important my car isn't attempting to go super-nova when we get in)

[gatogummie]

pissing myself at this video i found on twitter

[trans-girl-nausicaa]

i just apolitically killed the king like i have no agenda or whatever im just the jester here but i stabbed him anyway LOL all the courtiers and advisors are trying really hard to figure out who did it LOL all of them wanted him dead but they dont know whose scheme it was so nobody can promulgate a coherent political maneuver based on the circumstances LOL just playing my lute #MyLute

[thedreammweaver]

We need an alternative to doesthedogdie cause they’ve started fucking paywalling warnings that include timestamps for triggering moments.

[thedreammweaver]

Like what the fuck

[autisticharrywells]

I just checked and

Need to read about trigger warnings? Please click the whimsical dog icon for more information!

I recommend Unconsenting Media. Not as comprehensive as DoesTheDogDie, but if sexual assault is a trigger for you, it’s a good resource

[troglobite]

rbing again real quick--i and other(s?) have noted in other rbs that this is almost never done. it's for very few properties, and it's only for timestamped warnings that are done in-house, not by users.

there are still timestamps available for warnings on those same triggers for those same properties. just bc there's a paywall on something doesn't mean other comments and timestamps can't be posted or read for free on that property or that trigger.

see here:

i don't have an account and haven't paid for anything on the site, so all of those comments are what i'm seeing for free.

i had to search and search to find anything that had paywalls, and had to resort to looking at The Substance, as referenced here. i've been using the site regularly since the op posted and have never organically encountered a paywall on anything, including on very popular properties.

i don't see any reason to stop using the site--everything is still available for free. they just have added another way for some ppl to choose to pay some $ (in addition to ads), since this is a completely free service, and no website is free to maintain.

as an example, someone with the money could pay to see the timestamps, and then leave a free comment with the same timestamps for others if they wanted to.

[sarith-kzekarit]

I've seen this post on my dash a few times now and I want to boost this specific addition. I've emailed the owner of the site to get clarification on this, and I was told the motivation behind this. He wanted to start paying some people to memorize all 200+ triggers on the site, sit down and watch popular movies/shows to thoroughly analyze whenever any trigger pops up, and note down timestamps and details of them. Ads unfortunately do not cover this (they probably only cover the site's base upkeep), so the subscription service is specifically to pay these people. Community comments have never been paywalled and are still accessible.

He thanked me for my feedback when I expressed confusion and concern about the paywalled comments being mixed in with the free comments, and has since updated the site to make them clearly distinct, along with a preview of what the paid comments look like:

He was very transparent about it all and very kind. He also said this was his mistake and is trying to clear it up. Please continue to use DoesTheDogDie.com, it is an excellent resource and there is nothing else like it!