bittersweet // k.mccabe x reader
based on this request! just a lil katie fic for my fellow katie girls
you glanced up at the clock again just to make sure. fifteen minutes left until the end of the match. you were up 2-0 against ireland but they had really started to take control.
aoife mannion had successfully taken the ball from alessiaâs feet and booted it down the pitch. it landed by katie and you watched as she took a shot, hannah saving it with relative ease.
as per your agreement, you and katie hadnât talked in the run up to the game. but your eyes still strayed towards your girlfriend every now and then when the ball wasnât by you.
with a small shake your head, you got back into the game. after drawing with sweden it was important that all three points went to england to keep the dream of heading to switzerland alive. but it hurt your soul to know that youâd have to crush katieâs dreams to get there.
a sudden roar of the crowd caught your attention and you whirled around in time to see the referee running towards hannah, taking somethingâtwo somethings out of her pocket.
you raced down the pitch as leah and some of the other girls talked to the referee but she was not budging on her decision to give hannah a second card for time wasting.
and then it suddenly dawned on you.
there were no subs left. all five had been used. everything seemed to happen in slow motion and before you could even blink, you were being pulled into a huddle.
âiâll do it,â you blurted out, shocking the defenders stood around you into silence. ârach and fran are at the front, theyâre holding it down, they donât need me. but we do need a solid defence. none of you can go in for hannah and georgia and keira are killing it in the midfield. it has to be me.â
âare you sure?â leah asked you and you nodded, swallowing thickly.
âyeah, yeah, weâll be fine.â
your teammates quickly patted you on the back, murmuring their good lucks as someone raced over with a spare goalkeeper shirt and gloves.
with a pounding heart, you slipped them both on and made your way into the goal, taking a few deep breaths to calm yourself.
as the game restarted and both teams got going, your heart seemed to sink further and further in your chest. why on earth had you volunteered?
that question flew around your head frantically as denise oâsullivan ran down the wing with the ball and you prayed that the girls could pull it together enough that you wouldnât have to deal with it.
thankfully, keira was the one to do it but the relief didnât last long. you pulled at the goalkeeper jersey anxiously as katie made her way over to take the corner, desperately calling for your teammates to cover you.
katie had scored from there before. you played alongside her for arsenal, you knew what she was capable of on the pitch when she really put her mind to it. and there was no doubt in your mind that sheâd do anything to put that ball in the back of the net.
with a newfound fire in your stomach, you moved forward as your girlfriend kicked the ball, somehow managing to catch it despite the sea of green and white surrounding you.
not wanting to suffer the same fate as hannah, you quickly threw the ball lucyâs way, turning to shoot a thumbs up to the away crowd behind you. they cheered in response and you let yourself feel proud. ignoring the pull at your heart when you thought about katie.
but you needed to not think of her. you had a job to do. your girls were relying on you. they were what you needed to think about. you pushed any thought of katie to the back of your mind, giving leah a quick thumbs up when she looked over at you.
you glanced up at the clock, eyes widening slightly at how much time had actually passed. there were five minutes left. five more minutes.
at the very last minute you saw the ball flying at you and with every ounce of energy you had left, you jumped up, the ball rebounding off your fingertips to go over the back of the net.
the sounds of the girls and the fans cheering is what you focused on as you hit the ground, breathing deeply as someone helped you up.
âyou good?â alex asked and you nodded, smiling as she patted you on the back.
hearing the whistle to end a game had never filled you with more relief and you almost cried with happiness. not only had you won but you had also kept the clean sheet. and as you made your way further onto the pitch, your teammates showed their appreciation with hugs, hair ruffles, and even more back pats.
when the huddle broke slightly, you immediately looked for katie. and when you found her, the happiness quickly turned to guilt upon seeing her crouched on the ground with her head in her hands.
âhey,â beth said softly as she approached you, shrugging her coat off and slipping it onto your shoulders. âitâs going to be okay.â
you nodded although you did not believe her. this was new territory for you and katie. you had never played against each other and you had never before been the reason for katieâs sadness. and whilst you desperately hoped it wouldnât change your relationship, you had a horrible feeling it would.
as you made your way through the irish players, the anxiety grew bigger in your chest at the thought of seeing katie. when you got to her she hugged you like she did everyone else, squeezing your waist before moving on.
âthere she is!â you heard georgia shout before her arms were around your waist and you were hoisted in the air. âenglandâs saviour!â
for a few minutes you let yourself relax and sink into the arms of your relieved teammates. when the huddle separated, you once again looked for katie, your heart sinking as you realised she was no longer on the pitch. whether she had left of her own accord or had been pulled for an interview, she was gone.
âcome on you,â leah wrapped her around your shoulders, pulling you into her side. âitâs gonna be alright you know?â
arriving back in london was both a shame and a relief. it somehow eased and elevated your anxiety. but your mind was still reeling.
instead of heading over to katieâs like you usually would, you went back to the apartment you and alessia shared, automatically assuming that katie would want her space.
you were halfway through ordering takeout on alessiaâs phone when your phone buzzed. you reached over for it, lips pursing as you read the text on the screen.
are you coming over tonight?
âi think you should go,â alessia said as she peeked over your shoulder. you shrugged her away quickly. âshe loves you.â
you sighed. âshe loves football.â
âshe loves you more,â the blonde gave you a pointed look. âso go see her and talk to her. otherwise you will drive yourself insane.â
the drive to katieâs apartment seemed a lot longer than usual. and by the time youâd made it up to the front door, you were half tempted to turn back around and go home.
but you didnât. deep down you knew that your friends were right. everything would be fine. and you took the open door and the smell of your favourite takeaway to be the first sign of that.
âwere you really going to ditch me for less?â katie asked as soon as she heard the door close.
âyou did not know that was me,â you scoffed, kicking your shoes off. âanyone couldâve walked in then. you should really lock your door.â
âi unlocked it when i saw your car, genius.â
you mocked her quietly under your breath as you made your way into the kitchen. even though the dynamic between you clearly hadnât changed, you still lingered nervously in the doorway and played with your fingers.
âso? were you actually going to ditch me for alessia?â katie asked again, turning around with her arms crossed over her chest.
you immediately studied her face. her eyebrows were slightly furrowed but she didnât look upset. you cleared your throat and looked down at the floor. âi wasnât sure if youâd want to see me.â
âah so this is what leah warned me about.â
you opened your mouth, ready to ask what exactly leah had been saying when something hit you in the face. you blinked rapidly, looking down at the tea towel that fell onto your arm. just as you looked up, another one hit you and you quickly flung them both back at katie. âwhat are you doing?!â
âknocking some sense into you!â
âwell can you do that after weâve eaten? iâm starving and this smells really good.â
katie rolled her eyes but relented, handing you your plate of food. youâd eaten about half of it when she gently kicked your leg. âiâm really proud of you.â
âugh, donât startââ
âno, no, you clearly need to hear this so shut up and listen,â she told you, standing up and making her way behind you. you let out a sigh when she plucked the fork from your hand and placed it down before wrapping her arms around you. âiâm not mad at you and i definitely donât hate you. you stepped up for your team when most people would probably be too scared to and you made some pretty decent saves. does it suck that it was against me? of course. but i love you and iâm proud of you. always.â
âiâd love you a lot more if youâd shut up and let me eat my food,â you muttered, smiling as she pressed a kiss to your head. âyou are a pretty good girlfriend though, anyone ever told you that?â
katie grinned. âof course they have.â
âstupid question really wasnât it?â you rolled your eyes, picking your fork back up as soon as she walked away. before you could load any food up onto it, she picked up a tea towel and twisted it in her hands, cracking it against your thigh. you yelped loudly, glaring at your girlfriend. âow! what the hell was that for?â
âthat was because you doubted my love for you. donât do it again.â