I Want My Life Back Now

I healed ❤️

[marisatomay]

can’t have seasonal affective disorder if i say that winter isn’t real it was just invented by Big Vivaldi to sell all four of his seasons

[a-gay-catgirl]

staying up late: hehe

waking up tired as fuck: not hehe

[tothechaos]

they should invent a type of sleeping where you wake up and feel rested

[katestewartt]

Andrew Garfield plays “The Spider-Man” Theme

[abandonedambition]

you know what? I WILL play with jpgs like dolls. what if life could be dream

[cassiebnuy]

what if life could be NIGHTMARE

[animentality]

[animentality]

[hardoncaulfield]

Everyone should be able to express their small and mean opinions to someone who won't clutch their pearls about it. Being a bitch is a human right

[badsciencejokes]

Sorry in advance. Bonus points can you name the others? — view on Instagram https://ift.tt/JZrAvxF

[beefgoat]

Michael Collins. He died just last year His fellow astronauts said he had a great sense of humor. He went on to head the Air and Space Museum at The Smithsonian. He was asked how he felt about going to the moon. He was like “what are ya talking about? I’m not going to the moon. Those two are”. Her also joked about how no one would remember who he was.

[hst3000]

He’s the one who told Armstrong when he was contemplating his first words “if you had any balls at all you’d scream ‘Dear God what the fuck is that’ and then cut the mic”

[animate-mush]

He’s also the Farthest Man - that is, the human being who has been the farthest away from earth

[red-r0ver]

🌳🌲🌳🌳🌲🌳🌳🌳🌲

Tiny forest for your dash

[bookshelfdreams]

🐿️🦔🦉🐜🕷️

wildlife returning to your dash :)

[swords-n-spindles]

🌳🦆🌿🌈🌅🐸🌱🌳🦋🌳

Look, there's a small river crossing your dash!

[irondoe]

⛰️⛰️🏔️🐏🌲🐐⛰️🌲🦅🏔️⛰️

We're coming up on a mountain range

[shieldmaidenofsherwood]

🌱🌾🌻☘️🌼🌱🏵🌾🌼🐦☘️🌻☘️🌾🌱🏵

Meadow!

[cressthegreenwitch]

🌅🌊🐬🐟🐠🐙🐚🌴

Slowly reaching the coast!

[wonderful-emoji]

☁️🍃🕊️☁️🐦☁️☁️🦅🦇☁️🦋☁️🌤️

Into the sky

[emoji-shitposts]

🌌🌙🚀☄️🌌🪐🌟💫🌌🪐🌠🛸

Made it to space!

[gwyoi]

☢️💥☄️

i killed you all.

[cannibalcaprine-deactivated2024]

🔥🪨🔥🪨🪨🪨🔥🪨🪨🪨🌱🪨🪨🪨🔥🪨🪨🔥🪨🪨🪨🪨🔥

and yet, life remains

[septicake]

🔥🪨🔥🪨🪨🪨🔥🪨🪨🪨🔫🌱🪨🪨🔥🪨🪨🔥🪨🪨🪨🪨🔥

it has a fucking gun

[rainydayscore]

I think the historical treatment of left handed people is objectively the funniest form of bigotry mankind has ever displayed

[be-a-dandelion]

Bitches will create a binary and use it to oppress the other side for ANYTHING

[doctordeity]

[maythray]

[academicssay]

[dullahandyke]

[ID: a tweet by APhillipy, which reads, ‘My 8 year old came across my bound thesis in the basement, “read” it, and spontaneously wrote me this note. I will now be listing her as a suggested reviewer for all my manuscript submissions. (heart emoji.)’ Attached is a photo of a letter, written in simple child’s handwriting. It reads, ‘Dear Adam (Daddy), I was very amazed by your work (smiley face.) It suprized me that it took your four whole years to write that thesis (shocked face.) I’m sure it took a lot of hard work (smiley face.) I found out lots of things about Genome Sequences (reading face.) I also like learning about what you studied and were interested in (reading face saying ‘wow.’) A lot of things made me say “awsome.” (smiling face saying ‘awsome.’ Your younger daughter, Hannah.’ End ID]

[powerrangersystem]

[hospitaliers]

What doesn’t kill me gives me kinks that are difficult to explain

[hospitaliers]

Damn dude at least give me a vowel

[heresylog]

*accidentally converts all the men and women I date*

[atleastitsnotasbestos]

to mp3???

[heresylog]

You know your boyfriend? When I took him out of the file, I accidentally zipped it. Yeah, no. The file’s corrupted and he can’t be extracted.

[funnytwittertweets]

[sudra]

[oneheadtoanother]

[shittytitty-deactivated]

every single bumper sticker hits like a fucking train