Rot

They || Minor || Mentally ill

[doeeyeddecay]

hello everybody

This is my vent blog, specifically focused on my struggles with hypersexuality and how I’m trying to cope with my trauma

I might not be the healthiest of people mentally and some things I say might be a little problematic but I need an outlet for how I’ve been feeling

I constantly have the urge to re-endanger myself to feel wanted, so if try to do something like that please talk me out of it :(

no dni, but I block freely

[doeeyeddecay]

The reason I do what I do is because I don’t know how to feel love without being objectified/sexualized

I can’t be sexualized by people my age because I don’t know anyone and no one bats an eye when it’s an ugly girl

But people online? They only care that you’re fresh and young

I’m about to turn 16 though, I’m starting to rot. I’m expiring.

I don’t know what I’ll do when I turn 18. I think I’ll probably kill myself

[doeeyeddecay]

I am almost sixteen

I feel expired and I feel rotten

No one will want me anymore

[doeeyeddecay]

well yeah ik this is for vent -w-

but yk ppl sometimes delete or don't post said vent

❤️‍🩹

That’s true

I feel like a lot of the time I get myself in these messes tho and I really can’t complain about getting out of it

[doeeyeddecay]

we are here if u need to vent yk

also sorry for that I understand:(

To be fair this whole account is just venting 💔

[doeeyeddecay]

hi doe

how RU, your post has been Abt SA theme ...

I'm glad ur venting about it tho!

I’m ok I think I mean not really but it’s whatever

[doeeyeddecay]

I don’t actually like being in pain I’m just so used to being exploited and abused and manipulated that I don’t know what it’s like without it

And so I come back waiting for that feeling knowing it’s extremely harmful and disgusting

Because it makes me feel loved

[doeeyeddecay]

I wish I was good enough for a pretty girl to just hold me in her arms and tell me everything would be alright

And she wouldn’t judge me for being ugly or clingy or desperate to please or self destructive

I want to be loved

[doeeyeddecay]

I’m so tired

Idk how much longer I can keep this up

[doeeyeddecay]

Talk to me dammit

Tell me I’m good enough for someone, anyone

I’ll feed into whatever fantasy you have if you show me I’m worthy of your time

I don’t care how filthy it makes me

[doeeyeddecay]

I’ll be good I promise just please love me

[doeeyeddecay]

I don’t know what’s worse

Being thrown to the wolves

Or

Tearing off my own limbs to satisfy them

[doeeyeddecay]

I’m desperate for someone to love me and hold me and tell me it’s okay and to not see my body but my mind and isn’t disgusted by me. I’ll do anything just for a touch of a sweet woman who actually cares about me I don’t care how much it hurts please can someone love me

[doeeyeddecay]

do you want to talk to someone?

Maybe

[doeeyeddecay]

Can someone please love me I’m so desperate to be wanted for something idc how bad it hurts

[doeeyeddecay]

I’m so unloveable

My body is now officially almost worthless. I’m overweight and ugly and disgusting

I’ve tried and failed to fix anything about myself and now if I could, id find a peaceful way to die in someone’s loving arms

And maybe I’d only be held for a little bit but I’d give them all the love I could

I would do anything just to be enough for someone

I don’t care how much it hurts, just please show me I’m good enough for you

[doeeyeddecay]

I watch Alfred’s playhouse sometimes

I know the creator sucks I do not support her at all but I feel like it’s an accurate representation of sexual abuse and grooming

I don’t watch it a whole lot just once in a while to feel seen

That’s about it