Rat Vibes

aspen ✨🍄🦀

[solarsyrup]

for whatever reason tumblr has flagged this post from a deleted blog as explicit so I can't even reblog it anymore which is a shame because it's one of my absolute favorites

[prospitianescapee]

@ot3

[phantomrose96]

So. Scientifically a kitty cat can fall asleep anywhere and so much. But scientifically they are also ready to get up and go at any moment, which is impressive

[phantomrose96]

If it were me, and I were dead asleep moments ago, I would not be so ready to tag along on a 1am bathroom adventure at a moment’s notice. But a kitty cat

[depsidase]

[iwilleatyourenglish]

my partner and i have become fixated on this stupid comment left by a conspiracy theorist on instagram and we can't stop saying it and i just know i'm gonna slip up and say it to a normal person

[iwilleatyourenglish]

[phantomrose96]

Boss tries to fire me for poor performance but I punch the ground and spit out blood and say "No... this isn't how this ends" while my leitmotif plays

[dykecostanza-deactivated2024112]

[marklikely]

blocked someone for having "strong opinions" on how much they hate tofu . she isnt a joke to me thats my fucking wife youre talking about

[marklikely]

[edelweiss123]

"man, I wish there was more bisexual representation in media... 😔"

*monkey's paw curls one finger*

[hypersensationalism]

look i know theyre going to martyr him no matter what and this will probably lead to an uptick in hate speech and retaliatiatory violence yadda yadda it’s not all sunshine and rainbows but ohhh my god how nice it is to think some of these people might realize they’re not actually untouchable and above consequence

[parakeet]

You gotta feel for the guy that made his egg college style (in the microwave) and posted it on fb but didn’t realize you could see the reflection of his sausage and beans. If that happened to me I would simply pass away. I could take a picture of the sky and triple check it just to make sure my tits aren’t somehow in the shot before I post it online. It is a real fear. The guys follow up remains one of my all time favorites though.

Like I am so sorry that happened to him but he truly could not have addressed it in a funnier way

[cheaphalloweencostume]

fucking crying because i thought this instagram reel was cutting edge comedy gold only to realize it is 100% serious… damn maybe i’m being poisoned

[girlnephew]

[lovertm]

frog figurines by CreationsbyChrisNoel

[gorgynei]

love lies bleeding is everything that cishets acted like saltburn was and more

[xenosagaepisodeone]

absolutely in love with the idea of wendy's introducing dynamic pricing. i think they should introduce time share lunch next, where for a reduced price you can eat a burger that has been partially consumed by someone else. i also think that the soft drink dispenser should have gacha game mechanics instead of letting you autonomously select your beverage and should make moaning noises when releasing it into your cup.

[birdwatcher-butch]

one time i was having sex and i was going “i’m yours i’m yours i’m yours” and then my partner stopped all of a sudden and said “can we talk about new kinks before we introduce them during sex” and i was like yeah what but it turned out she thought i was saying im a horse im a horse im a horse

[tenorgender]

i must not miss class. missing class is the mind-killer. missing class is the little-death that brings total obliteration. i will face my lecture. i will permit it to pass over me and through me. and when it has gone past i will turn the inner eye to see its path. where the class has gone there will be nothing. only i will remain.