[i-thisisharderthanitlooks-blog]

Does Buzzfeed Unsolved Exist in the MCU

MCU!Ryan: And for our final theory, some claim that D.B. Cooper was actually a visit from the Norse God Loki.

MCU!Shane: Ryan that's the stupidest shit you've said all day.

[alizabethnova-blog]

[the-vegan-muser]

when ur baby daddy can’t pay child support cuz you ate his head, so you gotta find another way to make money 

[invaderxan]

[allthatlovesabout]

okay listen UP the only parallel in cinematic history that matters and i mean the ONLY one is when the shot in fellowship of the ring where frodo's hand reaches into the water to grab sam's is mirrored by the shot in return of the king where sam reaches over the edge of the volcano to grab frodo's hand and pull him up like. poetic FUCKING cinema.

[allthatlovesabout]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[paxamericana]

[andysambcrg]

#people in quarantine vs essential workers

[bunjywunjy]

I was just thinking about carcinisation. Do you think if humans managed to not destroy the planet for long enough, we would become more crab like?

nope, because carcinisation only applies to ocean crustaceans, like lobsters!

over the past 400 million years or so, sea-dwelling crustaceans have kind of bobbled between the two main sea-bug body plans, which we’ll call Hotdog and Hamburger respectively:

the benefit of the Hotdog body plan is that it comes with a long, powerful tail that can be used for active swimming in a pinch to escape from danger! but the main drawback is that this body plan has really low maneuverability and isn’t very dexterous.

now the Hamburger body plan, on the other hand, has dexterity in spades! the lack of a tail may make it slow, but the evenly-spaced spiderlike legs of this body plan more than make up for that shortcoming by allowing quick movement in any direction as long as there’s a surface to walk on.

so there are benefits and drawbacks to both body plans, and both have appeared in the fossil record, but the overall trend is that hotdog body plans tend to become hamburger ones more often than the reverse- and this is what we call carcinisation! it just means that these crustaceans tend over time to gradually drift into a crab shape, even if they aren’t, strictly speaking, actually crabs. 

VICTORY FOR CRAB.

[hoechloin]

[mgcoco]

The Nine Waddlers 🐧 Happy World Penguin Day!

[distinguishedbaloney]

[sappyassmemes]

[shitpostempire]

[shitpostempire]

[dankmemeuniversity]

[superheroes-or-whatever]

Every Black Canary design by Otto Schmidt

[ifitaintbaroque]

I work at a coffee shop and have gotten all my co-workers to start calling lattes “hot milkybois”

[ifitaintbaroque]

I also got everyone to refer to the salted caramel blended drink as “the big salty” and I consider it one of my greatest accomplishments

[ifitaintbaroque]

Oh yeah and any time someone orders a hazelnut latte with almond milk (which specifically is a weirdly popular drink) I say “one HOT NUT latte coming right up!”

My coworkers have not latched on to this one like they did with the others for some reason.

[ifitaintbaroque]

I forgot to mention I also pronounce “hot chocolate” like “hot cocklate”… because I’m awful.

[goatbran-deactivated20190407]

please give us updates

[ifitaintbaroque]

Our largest drink size is affectionately referred to as “Texas Size” so sometimes when I hand it out in the drive-thru I like to say, “Here’s that TEXAS SIZE [drink] for ya, YEEEEHAW!”

And some people look at me as though I have just made their entire day while others look like they they could not possibly get away from me soon enough. Both reactions are equally satisfying. 

[ifitaintbaroque]

I made this into a game except when I hand out the Texas-size drinks I say “Can I get a YEEHAW?” And the guests always look mortified but occasionally one of them will let out a terrified “yeehaw” and all my coworkers cheer and then we keep a running tally of how many yeehaws we each get on the back of a pastry bag.

[antique-scarecrow]

op will not die of natural causes

[ifitaintbaroque]

That’s the most interesting comment anyone has ever left on one of my posts

[glumshoe]

Is there anything more nauseating than ‘expensive heterosexual wedding’ culture?

[glumshoe]

My dream wedding: outside, illegal fireworks, shoes are optional, mostly potluck, someone’s dressed as a wizard, I get to insult my relatives, hopefully some live music.

[norrington-hell]