𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫: 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐧 𝐬/𝐨 𝐢𝐧 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐝𝐫. · ° . ♡ ⊹
☆彡 -`, why building your dr around a partner could possibly be a blockage ꒱ 𔓘
ʚɞ゜・゜this is something i only internalized recently. on social media, i began noticing that when anti-shifters decide to run their mouths, they usually attack us or call us delusional for scripting popular celeb/character partners first. that means that the shifting content locals are exposed to first is about significant others and dating in other realities.
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💭 i started thinking .. why? why is 90% of shifting content i see about couple scenarios, s/o faceclaims, etc? why is recent shifting culture so based around dating and finding love in other realities? lately, i realize i've also been affected by the content i see so much. i have only one dr where i don't have an s/o, and it's my self care dr. i felt & still feel like i had to be dating someone in every reality i wanted to shift to, and if i didn't, i'd be missing out on something.
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💭 i’ve now realized that this way of thinking could possibly be a blockage. when you build your entire dr around a person, you neglect the other important parts of shifting to a real place. when you shift in, you won't be spending 24 hours a day with your s/o. even if you did, you'd quickly get tired. (i know, getting tired of THE namjoon or THE beomgyu sounds crazy, but they're people just like us. don't put your s/o on a pedestal once you shift in, that's unhealthy for both of you (ˊ‸ ˋ )...)
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i had to take a step back, and ask myself realistic questions like:
➴ "is this a dr where i have the time and energy to emotionally support my s/o?"
➴ "will our relationship be healthy in the long run, taking our lifestyles into account?"
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— ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗ there was some discourse over this on tiktok (as always🙄). people were saying, "if you think your relationship is/will be unhealthy, just script it never becomes that way and you both love each other wholeheartedly forever."
💭 i don't want to make this complicated by getting into my beliefs about scripting, but simply put: your s/o is a real person, with real emotions and feelings. i can't stress this enough. you can script that they love you forever, but if both of you are in an environment that is busy or constantly changing, that will affect the dynamic of your relationship no matter what you script. it doesn't mean that they'll stop loving you, but like any normal relationship, the circumstances have to work out.
💭 furthermore, if you script that they love you forever no matter what, that could become a burden for you. what happens if you lose feelings, want to pursue other dreams, grow emotionally exhausted, etc? scripting relationships is a super sensitive thing imo, but shifters kinda gloss over it. it could unintentionally lead to traumatic experiences in your dr, so pls be careful pookie!
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➴ what circumstances make for an unhealthy relationship? i'll use one of my drs as an example: my rich & famous dr.
💭 i'm a world famous model and actress in this dr, with a number of amicable breakups from before i shift in. naturally, i scripted that i start dating one of my biases, and everything seemed perfectly fine until i started truly getting into the headspace of this dr. i began visualizing my day to day life, and not once did my relationship cross my mind.
💭 i scripted a packed schedule full of fun things i've always wanted to do. photoshoots and movies and exclusive parties and secret friendgroups - literally everything that makes a glamorous lifestyle. i scripted that the only day i have off completely is sunday, for relaxation, self care, and sleeping in.
and then, i started thinking about my partner.
➴ "when will i see her next?"
➴ "what will we do when we're together?"
➴ "are we both excited to see each other?"
when i answered these questions honestly, i realized most of them were negative.
➴ "i might not see her for a one or two because of our overlapping schedules."
➴ "we might go on a date, if she's tired we can just hang out at home."
➴ "realistically, no.. we'd probably both be tired, even if we meet up on an off-day because of our exhausting work weeks."
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💭 when i shared my thoughts to some shifting friends, they just said "script that your workload isn't as much." but.. i don't want to? i enjoy the realism of being tired after a long day. it's like proof i truly worked, and everything isn't just a dream. i could script that my schedule is more spread out to make time for my s/o, but then we come to my point:
💭 i dont want to change the entire structure of my dr just to have a partner. if my s/o doesn't fit into the dr i planned, i don't want to squeeze them into it. to me, building your dr around having an s/o feels wrong and unnatural. i notice shifters tend to forget: you're really truly actually going to this place. you have your own life to live, things to do, etc etc. don't let having a partner overshadow the experience of shifting.
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💭 when it comes to actually fixing the issue, it may feel weird to delete an entire person out of your dr or become strangers w/ them - so just change your relationship status. in my fame dr, i re-scripted my former s/o to a person i'll meet and become very close friends with. if it turns into something more over time, after i shift in, that's great!! yay for me! i just don't want to feel held back by someone i should be cherishing, and instead let it happen naturally. if you feel more comfortable scripting out your relationship, then you do you!
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NOTE: i'm not trying to say stop scripting significant others. by all means, script an s/o! a partner! a boyfriend! a girlfriend! a husband! a wife! a spouse! a sneaky link! anything! it's your reality, i'm not trying to take away from that fact. i'm just pointing out how shifters often gloss over the realness of being in a relationship. this was simply a reminder for those who may be feeling the same way i did, and to help those people to make the neccessary changes. if you feel that the relationship you've scripted is happy and healthy, go for it cutie! even if its not happy or healthy, but you.. want that..? it's none of my business fr 🤷♀️. you were warned, and you have the resources you need to do your research. i trust you!
and one more thing i should mention, i'm saying all this without even starting on how the aroace shifting community must feel abt it. if you're aroace & wanna share any comments, suggestions, or experiences, pls msg or ask !! this is something that affects most shifters regardless of orientation but aroace ones especially😭 hope yall are hanging in there..
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