In case you ever wanted to know, here’s the aerodynamics of a cow. [x]
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

#extradirty
Cosimo Galluzzi
wallacepolsom
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
ojovivo
trying on a metaphor
occasionally subtle
will byers stan first human second
Today's Document

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taylor price
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Claire Keane
Peter Solarz

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blake kathryn

oozey mess
One Nice Bug Per Day

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@domnar
In case you ever wanted to know, here’s the aerodynamics of a cow. [x]
A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?” The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.” The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks accept him, feed him, even fix his car. That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier. The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.” The man says, “All right, all right. I’m *dying* to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?” The monks reply, “You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.” The man sets about his task. Forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, “I have traveled the earth and have found what you have asked for. There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.” The monks reply, “Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound.” The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, “The sound is right behind that door.” The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says, “Real funny. May I have the key?” The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man demands the key to the stone door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, and amethyst. Finally, the monks say, “This is the last key to the last door.” The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound. But I can’t tell you what it is because you’re not a monk
Onfg
did anyone actually ever read those animorph books
just stared at the covers for a concerningly long amount of time before putting it back where i found it
me too
Here are some of the spoilers you missed out on by not reading Animorphs:
Five children are forced to engage in guerilla warfare, espionage and repeated murder to protect their loved ones from alien parasites as they wait for the other, heroic aliens to finally arrive. When they do, the “good” aliens turn out to not give a shit about humans, caused the whole intergalactic war through their own shittiness and are willing to exterminate whole planets themselves to get at their hated enemies.
A child repeatedly experiences his intestines hanging out of his body while in various animal forms
A child is mentally tortured until broken and never gets better
A child in the form of a fly experiences getting splattered and smeared against a ceiling until his friends who are also flies at the time can peel his body off and take him somewhere he can transform back into a whole human before his insect mind fades completely
A child is shrunken and experiences having her eyeballs digested out of her head inside her friend’s stomach while she’s in the form of a tiny elephant
The heroes are forced to permanently imprison another child in the body of a rat because he knows too much and they abandon him on a tiny island with only other rats and garbage for company. Rumors circulate that the island is haunted but it’s actually his psychic screams reaching distant boaters.
A race of devastatingly powerful, violent aliens turn out to be mental toddlers who don’t know what they’re doing and are just bred to think they’re playing one big game before they’re killed at age three so they don’t learn the truth
An alien spends a few centuries hanging from the parasitic tentacle of a much bigger alien, surrounded by millions of rotting corpses attached to its other moon-spanning tendrils. They engage in mental warfare until one finally absorbs the other completely.
It turns out another seemingly “evil” alien race is simply driven to kill and eat everything in sight because it was separated from its original world where food was continuous and the entire specie’s life is the torture of perpetual starvation
A peaceful robot willingly removes its inhibition against violence to help in the war, only to slaughter a huge number of alien-controlled humans so gruesomely that nobody dares think about or speak of it again and it is the only thing left undescribed in a book series that already describes entrails getting torn out and skulls getting smashed
A child stays too long in the form of a flea and instead of turning back into a human, accidentally turns momentarily into one big, giant flea that can only writhe and moan because it shouldn’t exist and can’t live at that scale.
The kids discover Atlantis, then discover that Atlanteans are inbred mutants who paralyze any humans they find, dissect them alive to figure out how their organs work, then stuff the corpses as kitschy museum displays for their children.
An ordinary ant gets transformed into a human child. It has no idea what’s happening and is so overwhelmed by its huge new brain and sensory input that it can only scream until it dies
What the fuck
i mean i love cartoons about how the Kids Today are spending too much time on the Netflix and the Binge TV in general
but this one straight up says that the lady in blue watched about 47 hours of TV last night and the lady in pink watched 211 hours
no wonder their eyes are spirals, this is some junji ito shit
Millenials are breaking the laws of space and time to watch their damn TV shows and they need to be stopped
millennials have no respect for anything, up to and including the basic laws of the universe
Her friends were bending the very fabric of the universe and all she did was stare at the fucking sky, accomplishing nothing, for hours. What a chump.
Regarding that Rape Rally list
Ok, so that list that’s going around on Tumblr about locations where these assholes are meeting up? Those are DECOY locations. They’re smart enough to not actually put the places they’re going to rally up. No, they’re going to do their weird cult code thing, then announce in secret where the ACTUAL locations are.
So I did some digging and found this out on a news site, that had a source of their FAQ. (Which is found here). So let’s pick through the FAQ and find out some useful hints to have a safer weekend.
“Q: Can I bring my son or little brother? A: Many of the final venues will be in bars that require you to be of legal drinking age to enter (18 or 21 depending on the country). Since there is no way to tell you beforehand what the final venue is, underage males may not be suitable for the meetup.“
So it’s probably not safe to go drinking during this day if you’re near any of the decoy locations listed in the decoy list. However…
“Q: What happens if a host doesn’t show up? A: If no one claims to be hosting, the men who arrived can discuss which venue to move to at 8:20pm. The meetups are structured so that they can proceed without a host.“
It probably would be safe to go to a place that isn’t popular to go to, since the location can be chosen if there is no host. Probably best not to be in a large place as well. This is a rally, and I might not know much about rallying but I’m probably not wrong in thinking that you’d want to rally to the most amount of people you can find.
“Q: What if crazy feminists show up? A: Record them with your camera, upload the footage to Dropbox, and then send it to me at [email protected] afterwards so we can tear them up. If accosted during the meetup, travel to the final venue in pairs or triplets using an indirect route so the final location is not compromised (make sure you are not followed). While I wouldn’t mind a bit of excitement, there is currently zero chatter online that a single meetup will be disrupted.”
It’s probably a final meeting point if you see a bunch of men coming into a location in pairs or triplets. Maybe they could be harmless, but if they come by two or threes toward a similar location, be wary. Doubly be wary if there are no females meeting in that location whatsoever.
And finally, let’s just make this clear.
“Q: Which meetup will you be at? A: Washington DC.”
If there’s a man that looks really close to this in the DC area, that could be him, this could be his rally. Do with that information if you will. Now if he conceals his face, that’s one thing, but given that he actually planned this foolish event in the first place and PUT HIS FACE ON THIS FAQ, he probably won’t. Still be careful.
I want everyone to have a safe weekend. This is a shitty rally by a shitty cult. Maybe they’ll do something to shake the world, or maybe they won’t. But things happen when a group of bad people come together. And I don’t want anyone to be affected by whatever they do.
Again putting the information I’ve put on the other posts to explain who Roosh is because it’s very important to know to avoid him at all costs.
Return of Kings is basically an MRA site(In all but name) run by racist,sexist,Islamaphobic,anti-semetic fucks who can never be trusted. Roosh Valizadeh has actively harassed people,doxxed people,basically admitted to raping someone,and lead a hate fat people movement,and that’s not close to what he has done. Roosh was a part of the harassment movement gamergate and part of this harmful pick up artist circle know as “the red pill”.
http://www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/category/rhymes-with-roosh/
He was in a documentary about the “manosphere,” by BBC’s Reggie Yates.
http://www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/2015/12/23/roosh-v-is-angry-that-the-bbc-has-portrayed-him-as-the-monster-he-is/#more-21504
http://www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/2015/04/28/roosh-v-seduced-and-abandoned-by-the-dr-oz-show/
Here is a link to him admitting on Dr.Oz he has no regrets on shaming and bullying fat people.
He has been banned from countries and was run out of one city. If you feel safe enough to try and stop this then Call the police(if you feel comfortable talking to them of course), call the stores and companies they are planing to decoy meet in front of,call the newspapers and warn them. Do everything to warn people of these harassers. If you don’t want to do that then down vote his books he has written online and warn your friends and family. Do not let him do this kind of thing.
Roosh has been denounced by mayors and leaders alike. He is dangerous and it must be known how dangerous he is.
Reblogging for more info here, as well as making an addendum.
He’s moving from Washington DC to Australia. Now, that doesn’t mean Washington DC is safe, because people might not actually follow his twitter. There will still be a gathering in DC.
Twelve new Poorly Drawn Lines greeting cards have just arrived at Ohh Deer. Check them out here.
Switch off your sperm with this new male birth control
Experience the sinking feeling, that anxious self doubt of “did I leave my balls on?” (a sensation similar to the nagging feeling you’ve left the iron on or the stove but with fewer house fires and more unintended pregnancies)
this looks crazy painful
id rather just have the kid(s)
if i witnessed someone turning their balls off like this id jump out the nearest window tbh……
this is disgusting i don’t want machinery inside my ballsack
Yeah no who’d want this amazing reversible birth control? Let’s just keep forcing birth control on women, making them take pills that literally include side effects like hormonal imbalances, blood clots, heavier and longer bleeding which can lead to anemia, and literally “sudden death”. Because birth control should definitely be the responsibility of women only.
Men are so weak that they can’t stand the thought of something inside their ball sacks. I have an IUD, motherfuckers. I HAD SOMETHING METAL PAINFULLY SHOVED THROUGH MY CERVIX INTO MY UTERUS TO TRY TO PREVENT PREGNANCY. No anesthetic, no numbing. Just a rod right up my cervix. Wanna know what that feels like? Not pleasant. Oh! And I got an IUD because hormonal birth control pills were causing migraines and heart palpitations. But something in your balls? Nah fuck that shit, that sounds invasive.
Y’all over here saying you’d rather have the kids then take the burden of birth control and family planning off your woman and let her continue to suffer with the current forms of birth control that don’t even work 100% of the time? You’d literally rather have to be responsible for a human being for 18 years than get a simple 30 minute procedure on your fucking saggyass ballsack? Are you fucking serious?
I’m just saying it’s better to be shot at by a gun with no bullets than be shot at wearing a bulletproof vest. And the bullet proof vest might kill you even when you’re not being shot at.
Science has been trying to push male birth control for ages and I’m fucking sick and tired of nothing ever getting funding, or getting FDA approval, or getting recognized as a responsibility for everyone, and certainly not just the responsibility of women. Fuck this patriarchy bullshit.
“Hey, take this potentially lifethreatening medicine for literally the next 40 years of your life, because I don’t want to touch my own balls for a half second.”
Yes, men have fewer options for personal birth control, because literally almost every single form of it is rejected by them for ridiculous reasons that are far less than or equal to the discomfort or side-effects involved in birth control methods that involve solely women.
It all boils down to men not giving a fuck about the women they have sex with as long as they aren’t inconvenienced. They would rather a woman take ~40 years worth of pills that can cause a heap of life-threatening health problems, or have invasive surgery, or have an IUD, or or or anything as long as it means they don’t have to do shit. Look at how many men don’t even want to use a condom. I mean, hey, a 30 minute outpatient surgery to install an invisible switch that doesn’t affect their long term fertility at all is too much trouble or too painful. But fuck knows these are the same guys who would tell their girlfriends or wives to go get an IUD or have a tubal ligation like it’s a mani-pedi. Assholes.
this is disgusting i don’t want machinery inside my ballsack
Do you know what an IUD is??
Up or down?
Esita.
This cat is too fluffy for me to comprehend in slow motion
wow continuants wow
WOAHHHHHHHHHH
Me: “Do you guys want to see the fluffiest cat?” Coworkers, immediately and loudly: “YES SEND IT NOW.”
I love cloud cat
that cat is wearing a functional neck ruff
hello elizabethan cloud cat keep up the good work
That cat is a cloud
@2-am-alone
It's so fluffy. :O
Analemma. The sun’s position in the sky, photographed from the same location at the same time of day throughout a year, forms an analemma. This shows the sun’s apparent swinging from its northernmost position, at the analemma’s uppermost point, at summer solstice, to its southernmost position/lowest point, at winter solstice.
"Kannst du denn als Veganer überhaupt noch was essen...?"
my teacher: why did you copy the homework me:
Socks, Bill Clinton’s cat, being hounded by the paparazzi
Oo