Loving sweetly and slowly

[valtsv]

god FUCKING damnit im such a hopeless romantic one day someones gonna say “i love you” and im just going to let out an agonized scream so horrible that they immediately change their mind

[petesdragon]

[okayilubuhbye-deactivated201611]

Bless you, MusicalHoe.

[greyscalesound]

If nothing else, this gives me a list of shit to buy my girl lol

[atasteoflee]

Okay but this is helpful

[muckkles]

working with children is a wild fucking experience yall. this morning at work one of our second graders got my attention and was like “you know what word my mom told me not to say? PUSSY.” and i was like “then why did you just say it??” and she went “i dunno” and then dabbed

[paprika]

[darcylindbergh]

lads had a dream last night that i was at the elton john concert and halfway through crocodile rock he switched to a prince medley and real live flesh and blood prince walked out on stage, and into the stunned, hushed silence i said quietly, “i thought you were dead” and he looked straight at me through the crowds of a million people, put his mouth against the mic, and said “do i look like the kind of man who dies” absolute legend 

[anest4etized-deactivated2025121]

This wasn’t a dream this was a premonition

[fadedfemales]

hey if u wanna come into my life & not lie about caring for me hmu

[dragongirltitties]

my favorite thing about “fbi/nsa agent monitoring my computer” things is it implies that there is at least one agent for every single person on earth with a computer

[0deerling0-inactive]

But who’s monitoring the agents computers

[browsedankmemes]

[fonzworthcutlass]

📠📠📠

[yallstaysafe-deactivated2018031]

It can’t go the other way?

[fonzworthcutlass]

No. The earth is flat.

This is basic knowledge.

[becuzitisbitter]

i also appreciate the logic that planes can’t fly over land.

[mountainsbutch]

someone: ahaha zoning out much? anyone home??? haha

me, dissociating: What

[faith-thewanderingsoul-deactiva]

[tastefullyoffensive]

[snorlaxatives]

[princesconsuela]

[krawps]

alright good morning to you too bitch

[kingoftieland]

Muppet mischief!

[thegrayship]

this is so pure

[professorotaku]

Reblog if you heard it in Ms Piggy’s voice in your head. 

[waluiqi]

tryna post a selfie like

[starfruitnycarchive]