[windewehn]

i hate when other people are funnier than me.

[jumbleytumbles]

GIRL you are GLOWING! GIRL you are RADIOACTIVE! GIRL it's FATAL!

[ferret-on-pancakes]

When your bestie works in the wristwatch factory

[exit-path]

wait hold on i gotta look something up

[exit-path]

what the fuck

[penthousepussy]

[theunfairfolk]

ghost hunting team that keep a nonbeliever named steve around as an emergency supernatural suppressant

[theunfairfolk]

he waits in the car with a walkie talkie while they investigate and if things break bad they call him in. as soon as he enters everything stops floating around/trying to kill the hunters and he rolls his eyes and goes back to the car.

[theunfairfolk]

he’s not bluffing. i can’t emphasize that enough. he 100% believes that the hunters calling him in is either a prank, to make him feel useful, or because they’re spookable cowards who panicked when a book fell.

he stays because the money is good and he can play his gameboy in the car.

[skunkeyemcghee]

Do yourself a favor. Sound up. Enjoy.

[muppethole-deactivated20240312]

genuine props to this publication for finding such a stark, simple, provocative way to say... all of it

[shepardlives]

“I’d kill for you. Please ask me to kill for you.” “No.” Is a top tier ship dynamic no I do not take criticism

[shepardlives]

The idea of a person being capable of incredibly immoral acts but held in check but their love of their partner sends me every time

[memeuplift]

[tsunamiwavesurfing]

tumblr banned porn but i see it everyday on here this shit like alcohol in the prohibition era

[tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva]

[chamacafeahorrible]

getting into the shower: evil evil evil

being in the shower: there is no past and there is no future, there is just the here and now, i am alone but i am not lonely, i am calm and one with the universe, existence is sublime

getting out of the shower: evil evil evil (wet version)

[lunamagoria]

Lady Maria and Lady Oscar for @violetoblivion 💜💜💜

twitter

instagram

[kdinjenzen]

Twitter User: I wish I had more followers, then I’d be more likely to get verified.

Facebook User: I wish my posts reached further, then I’d get famous.

Instagram User: I wish I had more followers so I can unlock more basic features for my account.

TikTok User: I wish I had more views then I’d be a real influencer.

Tumbler User: I specifically didn’t tag this so no one would find it why does it have 200k notes? Who the hell are these people following me? All of you need to go away so I can go back to posting incomprehensible garbage and pictures of frogs.

[kdinjenzen]

Self-fulfilling prophecy

[kdinjenzen]

Oh no

[kdinjenzen]

Help

[kdinjenzen]

Here’s a picture of a blue poison dart frog.

[kdinjenzen]

WHY!?

[kdinjenzen]

Okay, lots of folks asking “INSTAGRAM DOES THAT!?”

And yes, it does:

[kdinjenzen]

Nice.

[kdinjenzen]

Kaeru the frog from Poco’s Udon World

[kdinjenzen]

Pain.

[supreme-leader-stoat]

[falsedetective]

been there, king

[vykodlak]

When god closes a door I shove my sword through the gap at the bottom and swipe at his ankles

[lesbyterianchurch]

It’s that month again folks! Happy February.

[mephistopheles]

i swear to god NOTHING makes me more pissed off then when everyone is like “oouheuehghoughough ough [thing] is so good it’s a classic you’ll love it” and they say it SO OFTEN that you resolve on principle to loathe [thing] with your entire being but when you actually get around to experiencing [thing] it literally IS That Good. physically trembling with rage at the fact that hamlet actually is one of the best plays ever written. DIE

[mephistopheles]

me when shakespeare plays actually DO have modern-day relevance and universal themes: