There’s A Woman || Part 4a
Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Reader
Warning: implied abuse history
Gif Credit: @ peakyshelbyss @ nastykarg
Thank you so much!
Tag: @theskinofmyemotions @3eyeddame @vikifirman@reyloshipper-starwars @londoncharlotte88 @megnificent07 @mafaldaz @deactivated-veen @justmehanav @i-shouldbepainting @dermittts @stylesbooze @neversleeping4am, @icebluegriffin @johhnshelby, @ subhamamu @unicorn-glitter-princess @thatsamegirl, @mafaldaz, @cafe-sabor-a-chocolate, @collegecatlady, @20th-centu-fairy-girl, @xlightning-disasterx @niiight-dreamerrrr @i-shouldbepainting @dermittts @stylesbooze @badwolf-in-the-impala @mafaldaz @athewindsofsummer @peaky50 @weeo @thelightsideoflife @s0tc @i-shouldbepainting @dermittts @stylesbooze
Please let me know if I forgot someone
Note: This is only Part A. So as some of you know this chapter got away from me and I had to cut it. But the two pieces belong together. So I’m posting Part A today and one week from today I will post Part B.
I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it every time - Reblogs, Likes and Comments are the ultimate!!! It’s the only way I know you guys like this story or not. And Thank you SO So much to everyone who has supported this story so far! You guys are the best!
You’re a mess of emotions the first time you meet Linda, nervous but also excited too. When Arthur told you he wanted you to meet her first, you felt special. Affirming that while what you and Arthur have may not be traditional, it’s still real. And the light Linda has brought to his eyes, giving him everything you couldn’t, it made you love her already. It felt like getting to meet a new member of the family. But all those silly little notations were just that - notions, and easily dashed once you found yourself seated across from Linda in her tiny flat.
Only then did you realize you weren’t meeting your new family, you were meeting your replacement. A woman you got the sense was twice the one you are, because there’s still days you feel like a child. But you know how important she is to Arthur, so you try to make the best of it and make a good impression. Only the more you want to impress her, the more you worry you won’t say the right thing or act the right way. Your nerves only heightening when you remember Arthur said she’s a pious woman, because if there’s anything you’re not, it’s that.
Sitting across from her is intimidating. Her home is immaculate. Everything in its place, clean and tidy. With the good Lord’s book on the coffee table between you and a cross hanging center piece on the wall beside the King’s portrait. There’s a presence to Linda, a look in her eyes, in the way she looks at you. It’s full of the kind of quiet unspoken judgement that makes you feel like your eight all over again and about to be punished. But the way she gazes at Arthur is softer, sweeter, so you try and hold onto that as her eyes continue to scan between you and Arthur, as the two of you sit awkwardly on her couch.
“Arthur explained the unfortunate circumstance surrounding your marriage… Why it had to be done.” She explains over tea and biscuits, her tone neutral, but her eyes suspended, awaiting your confirmation. You can hear it, the words she doesn’t say. She wants to hear it from you, that it’s just an arrangement and an unconsummated one at that. You can feel her uncertainty from just a few feet away. But it’s her choice of words that unnerve you. The unfortunate circumstance…
Your heart beginning to pound harder as you stare at her blankly for a moment, your mind racing. Has Arthur told her why you had to marry? The thought alone leaves the sting of betrayal shooting through your heart as you suddenly turn to Arthur beside you in disbelief. How he could tell her something he swore to never reveal. A secret that isn’t his to share.
“Yes,” Arthur pipes up quickly as he meets your eyes and reads the question forming in your gaze.
“I hope you don’ mind, I told her about your mum’s passing an’ how you were going to be sent to one of those children homes. It was the only way to keep ya.” Arthur clarifies, taking your hand from where it rests on the couch to give it a squeeze. The look in his eyes reassuring you, he’d never betray you that way. Not even with Linda.
You nod as relief washes over you he hasn’t spilt your darkest secret to a woman you even didn’t know. Relieved that even though he might be smitten, he hasn’t betrayed you. That he’s still the man you know and love. You hold Arthur’s gaze and smile at him warmly before turning back to Linda.
“Arthur’s a good man. He saved me.” You tell her, squeezing his hand in return. Arthur may not be the most formidable, the most cunning Shelby, but he makes you feel the safest. He made you feel safe when nothing in this world felt safe. Stood by you long after anyone else would have left. And loved you even when you felt unlovable. He feels like home. Even now. Even after Linda. And judging by her next comment she must sense it too.
“You’re more beautiful than Arthur described.” Linda speaks up and you feel Arthur grow uneasy by her comment as he quickly pulls his hand from yours.
You don’t know what to say to that. Unsure if it’s a compliment or a test. You don’t know what the proper line of response is for a statement such as this. Especially from a woman you’re quite certain is more beautiful than you could ever be. But you think she needs to hear why you and Arthur never became.
“Tommy thinks so too. He’s quite taken with our Vera.” Arthur pipes up abruptly, awkwardly as he reaches over to take Linda’s hand. You watch the exchange and suddenly feel out of place. Arthur’s choice of words only further confusing you as your gaze shoots back to him.
“You an’ Tommy are quite close then?” Linda asks, probing, but you never look her way. Your eyes locked on Arthur as he slowly turns back to you. You can see in his gaze, he needs you to ease Linda’s fears and for him, you’d do almost anything.
Your gaze drops to your wringing hands as they sit uneasy in your lap, nodding slowly.
“Yes, we’re close.” You say. For Arthur, you do it for Arthur.
“He likes it when I climb in his bed at night.” You answer numbly, absently mindedly, losing grip on your attempts to be pleasing as your words slip out low like a whisper, your heart growing heavy in your chest.
“I beg your pardon?” Linda glances over at Arthur, suddenly confused by the boldness of your statement.
Arthur turns to you, gripping your hand tightly, stirring you from your thoughts. You gaze rises to meet his and instantly you can see the concern growing heavy in his eyes.
“Our Vera has nightmares from time to time. An’ sometimes they make her wander.” He tries his best to explain what anyone else would find utterly inexcusable, without giving away your secrets, because he can see in your eyes this is already taxing you.
Your belly tightens as your heart grows heavy. It feels like losing your mum and Da all over again. Looking at Arthur you can practically feel him slipping away. And you want to be happy for him, but in this moment all you can feel is a deep unbidding sense of loss.
“You have to excuse me, I’m suddenly not feeling well.” You abruptly say. Pulling from Arthur’s eyes as you rise from the couch and force a smile at Linda.
“It was lovely meeting you, but I really must be going.” You say politely with what’s left of your manners, trying to appear cordial for Arthurs sake before you move quickly for the door with unease.
As soon as your outside, you fill your lungs with the smoggy factory air, trying to catch your breath. But then you feel Arthur hot on your heels and you start to move. You don’t know why you evade him, but you feel you must, storming quickly down the lane. You hear him hollering your name at your back as you go.
“Tommy’s waiting for me. I have to go. Enjoy your time with Linda.” You yell, hiding the tears that burn and fill at the edges of your eyes. Never turning back, never slowing your pace, disappearing as quickly as you can down the lane, leaving Arthur to his happiness before he can leave you behind…
Having finally gotten the children down to bed, having wrangled and fought, bribed and begged until all of them finally fell asleep, you collapse against the old sticky couch beside John. Your head lulling back against the top edge as you sigh heavily in relief.
Katie was the hardest. She’s always the hardest. Middle child, youngest girl, and at six years old, she’s old enough to remember Martha, but still too young to understand why she died. Her crying spelling and bed wetting often make her the most challenging of the bunch at times, but having not been much older than she is when you Da died, you sympathize with her pain. Snuggling her close after the others have gone to bed. Singing and rocking to her slowly until she settles in and drifts off.
You don’t know how John does it on his own. John doesn’t either. So you try to help out as best you can; you, Polly, and Ada. The Shelby women doing fucking women’s work.
John sparks a cigarette beside you, taking a pull from it before passing it to you like a gift of gratitude for helping him with the kids. You know he’s grateful and you’re happy to help. John’s good to you and it’s never a hardship to return the favor. They run him ragged. He can’t keep a handle on them. He had too many, too young, and your heart pains for him, none of them have been the same since Martha died.
“Thank you, handsome.” You say, flashing him a wide sparkling grin as you draw the cigarette up to your lips before taking a long pull, nursing the exhaustion hitting you hard and fast after the fight you were just put through.
John’s eyes glance your way, and you can’t help but notice how beautiful his eyes are. All blue and open, but not closed off to the world like Tommy’s.
“You flirt with all the boys like that, ey?” John teases you, opening his arm to you from his spot on the old tattered couch, more covered in stains than upholstery.
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