not to be insensitive but some of the salem witch trials were so funny bitches like “i saw her at the devils sacrament!!!” girl... what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament 👀
happy birthday devils sacrament. i wish you were never born
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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
we're not kids anymore.
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@dottie58
not to be insensitive but some of the salem witch trials were so funny bitches like “i saw her at the devils sacrament!!!” girl... what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament 👀
happy birthday devils sacrament. i wish you were never born
If you start reading books again, you’ll feel at least a little better. I promise.
Mary Oliver, from The Fourth Sign of the Zodiac
Ponyo, Hayao Miyazaki, 2008
me, quietly whispering to the ao3 page of an author who doesn’t even know I exist: I am obsessed with you
me, whispering to the ao3 page of an author who hasn’t updated anything in four years: I think about you often and I hope you’re alright
me, whispering to the ao3 page of an author who wrote one life altering banger and nothing else: I hope your pillow is cool and your skin is clear and you find money in a forgotten jeans pocket
When my son was about to turn two, strangers would offer condolences. There’s a collective cultural dread of toddlers, who get described more like animals than people. Kids in their "terrible twos," I was warned, are illogical, unregulated, and feral. "Good luck," people would say. "He'll grow out of it."
I'm lucky: My son is a very easygoing kid. But I remember the first tantrum he threw for me. He was standing by our front door and asked to go outside. So I opened the door and grabbed his shoes. But as soon as he stepped onto the porch, he pointed back into the house.
"Inside," he said.
"Okay," I said. I picked him up and brought him inside.
But as soon as I shut the front door, he pointed outside.
"Outside!" he said.
You know where this is going. We went back and forth, inside and outside, again and again. He got more frustrated. And I got more frustrated. Eventually he wound up straddling the threshold of our house, sobbing. When I tried to comfort him, he screamed at me. "You go wherever you want!" I said. He just got madder. I felt trapped, convinced he’d concocted the whole episode as a pretext to unleash his rage at me. It was ridiculous. I consoled myself with the thought that he was just being a toddler.
But later I kept thinking about him wailing at our front door, one foot inside, one foot outside. His misery wasn't unreasonable, or trivial, or silly. My son was experiencing the agony of wanting two things that were impossible to have at the same time. What a fundamentally human sorrow! My son wasn't being a toddler; he was being a person. Adults may not walk around howling, but that same pain rages within us. In that moment, as a father, I was powerless to solve my son's problem. I told him he could go wherever he wanted, but of course I was wrong. To be where he wanted was impossible.
Make Believe: On Telling Stories to Children by Mac Barnett
Sick list of symptoms bro. Now try humanizing your behavior instead of pathologizing it.
Pathologizing: Hey sorry I yelled at you. I have this ADHD symptom called RSD that makes me really sensitive.
Humanizing: Hey, I’m sorry that I blew up like that earlier. In the moment I felt really attacked and overwhelmed and I reacted badly, but I know you didn’t mean to offend me with what you said, so that behavior is on me.
Because I just saw a post bitching about this one, I want to add: this post is saying that you need to take accountability for the way you hurt other people, even if it happens because of a symptom of your disability/illness. It's also saying that using terms (especially acronyms) that aren't common knowledge isn't a helpful way to explain yourself. It is NOT saying that you need to let people walk all over you because "your disability isn't an excuse."
If you're diabetic, you don't have to eat the honey glazed ham that will send you into a coma (their example). But you also can't yell at the person offering it and accuse them of trying to kill you. You can just say "thanks, but my body can't handle that kind of sugar intake, so I'll pass"
If you run over someone's foot with your wheelchair you still apologise
it obviously makes sense, but one of my friend’s kids is going into swim class, and all the parents got an email today going, “when little ones are scared, they cling on to instructors. PLEASE trim their nails.”
i don’t know why that’s so funny to me, but just. the idea of this poor, scratched swim instructor having to make sure to email before each class as a reminder to please declaw the children SENT me.
When I taught swim lessons I remember trying to delicately ask parents not to cover their child in shea/coconut/olive oil before lessons.
“I understand your skincare regimen and wanting to protect their tender baby flesh from the pool chemicals, but COULD YOU NOT OIL YOUR CHILD LIKE A GREASED PIG before tossing them in the POOL? Thanks EVER so much!”
@nakimochiku i CACKLED
Not to sound like a decrepit, rambling corpse about it, but back in my day Word used to be a pre installed program that came with your computer, if you were running Windows.
No subscription. Just program.
On your computer. You got to use it forever and ever and never had to worry about it going away.
Because it was physically on your computer. As a program. That you actually owned. Not because you got it separately, but because it was a standard inclusion with your computer.
I'm sorry but I'll just never get over it. I remember when companies cared about their products being usable out of the box. I remember when our things belonged to us.
Old man shaking fist at cloud, wherein the cloud is the background of the Windows 98 logo.
#that’s padmé and anakin’s daughter alright
"The hearts of men are easily corrupted." Wake Up Dead Man (2025) & Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (2001)
Bonus for @mykingdomforasong:
When you try to talk about enshittification, it sounds like conspiracy theories. (I'm not crazy)
Amazon made their service worse, to force people to pay for Prime.
Nowadays, if you order from Amazon, there is a week long delay before your package is shipped. (on purpose)
I remember when orders would ship out the same day. (I remember - it was real)
YouTube didn't used to have ads. Now, ads play in the middle of videos. (it's worse than TV ever was)
The best can opener I have owned is over 40 years old. Modern ones just don't hold up as well. (The ones I bought new broke ages ago)
The bread machine my mom got for her wedding lasted 30 years. It's been replaced twice in the last 5 years. (How can you fuck this up?)
The cardboard tubes in the middle of toilet paper rolls have gotten larger. (This too?) Companies increasing the price of the product while selling you less. (REALLY?)
It sounds crazy. (it's the truth) When you talk about it, YOU sound crazy. (it's true)
Even when people believe you (do they really), all they can say is "it sucks". (it's too big) Because the problem is so big, so pervasive, what can we even DO about it???
To get the necessary laws written and passed, we need politicians, to get the politicians elected we need information campaigns, to fund campaigns we need money, and all the money is being hoarded by the people profiting from enshittification. (it sounds so fake)
So I talk about enshittification (it sounds crazy), so people don't forget that things have been made worse on purpose (it's true), even though I sound crazy. (maybe I am)
Here's what I've realized from the Artemis II mission:
You cannot study STEM without the arts, and you cannot study humanities without the sciences. In that tiny capsule we sent to the moon, we sent physicists who are also photographers. We sent poets who are pilots.
We sent experts on exact scientific maneuvers who also express precise emotion and experience that will be quoted for decades. They play with a stuffed moon in the background of a broadcast and have Chappell Roan as their wakeup music. They drove around the far side of the moon.
We sent parents, partners...We sent humans, who are unabashedly showing their humanity and brilliance and vulnerability. They are smart and kind and generous and ambitious and silly and thoughtful and so damn good at what they do. And they want to share it all with us.
Camp Jupiter is military school while camp half blood is that one public school with metal detectors that has multiple fights every 5th period
friends roman’s and fellow countrymen i need help
for years and years and years my great aunt made a cheese cake for easter. but it was no ordinary cheesecake. it was a no bake farmers cheese cheese cake that was wrapped in cheese cloth and put in the fridge and had like some kind of nuts and also those gummy fruit things in it. the recipe does not exist. but i know it’s eastern european. and i want to eat this cake. but i cannot find it anywhere on line, every comparable recipe is a baked one. have any of you heard of this??? can anyone send me anything that might be useful?????? please??????????
unfortunately yes.
AHA WEVE FOUND IT
should i make it
okay so ive decided to make it because Why Not and step 1 is finding a mold. i know theres a traditional one but my great aunt always used like a 1960s jello mold pan thing and i do not have one. but i have a friend (actually its katyas partner) who deals in such oddities.
now i just have to. make it.
alright welcome back everyone. my apologies for the delay i was busy making lemon poppyseed cake, brownies, gluten free babka, killing my spatula and also working. but i am back now. and it is time to embark on the great pashka making endeavor.
the making began Yesterday.
first katyas parter Was in fact able to find me a mold at good will for 2 dollars, right now it is soaking so i cannot show you a picture but trust me, it exists and it is lovely.
second thank you to everyone who sent me in their recipes for pashka. i am eternally grateful. but, i have decided that i will be combining several recipes together for a few reasons:
i know for a Fact that my great aunts version has farmers cheese and sour cream in it, not cottage cheese.
Some People in my family get pissy about eating raw eggs
i feel like this is the proper course of action for any good eastern european girl: making something so uniquely unique that it is impossible for anyone else to replicate.
this of course led to the Third step of the evening, as in yesterday evening, which was gathering the ingredients. this was much harder than i anticipated. because it took three stores.
store 1 (the fresh market) had the appropriate sour cream and golden raisins (which i have decided to use as a mix in) but only salted macadamia nuts. store 2 (safeway) had the macadamia nuts but Nothing else. store 3 (wegmans) had literally everything else i needed Including the candied fruit gummies.
i of course informed my sister of the improvements:
though, my sister was substantially less excited than i was:
i then ate half of the fruit gummies in the car back and came to the conclusion that they were Not in the original recipe because the texture was wrong.
see. no one knows what the fuck was ever in this cake. as seen above. there were definitely tiny macadamia nuts and chopped up candied Somethings (maybe maraschino cherries? and something else green??) but i did not have the time nor the desire to go to a polish deli to hunt for the mysterious candied Things.
could i have asked my great aunt what was in the recipe?
yes absolutely. she's quite alive and well. but after the infamous Walnut Cake Fiasco from christmas eve, during which i had to make walnut cake. for christmas eve. (and no you cannot have the recipe) i decided against asking.
so i decided to Fuck whatever was in the original cake and do my own thing. after copious amounts of research, i have landed on using my macadamia nuts, golden raisins, orange and lemon zest and juice, vanilla bean and vanilla extract. of which i happened to have a fuck ton of because i just made homeade vanilla extract.
and now that it is no later than 11:23pm, it is the perfect time to embark on the task of Trying Not To Fuck Up The Pashka.
but first: a trip to the gas station to get sweetened condensed milk.
alright so the gas station did Not have sweetened condensed milk but they Did have evaporated milk. so we are going to improvise.
in our quest i managed to forget once again that i 1. live in a college town with 7 bars and 2. its a friday night at midnight. so as we traipsed along to 7/11 we got to sing along dramatically to baby by justin bieber that was being blasted by one of the bars. we then got slushees, went to the gas station for the evaporated milk and saw three frat boys decked out in gucci loafers and vineyard vines and all three of them had their cards decline on 1. voss water 2. an ice cream sandwich and 3. a celcius.
but!
im spiking my slushee and getting down to business. its pashka time.
okay. it is 2:41 am. the pashka is in the fridge. and my kitchen is no longer coated with cheese. why was my kitchen coated with cheese? i will explain.
so my mold does not have drainage holes in it (as it is not the biblically correct one) this is not really a problem except for the fact that a vital step of pashka making is pressing the liquid out of it in the mold overnight in the fridge. mine turned out rather soupy and so i had the Brilliant idea to wring the liquid out blob by blob at a time through cloth napkins. which coated my whole kitchen in Cheese. and also myself. and katyas partner who stayed up with me to attempt the pashka. katya went to sleep like a loser. sometimes though, you have to coat yourself in cheese to find yourself. i do not know if i have found myself yet. will report back on that.
anyway the cheese draining method Worked and it Tastes Correct but!!! there was still more liquid that needed to come out so. i put the whole thing in a salad spinner basket in the cheese cloth in a bowl to catch the drips with a plate under it and 2 weights on a plate on top of it to press the liquid out. tomorrow morning once the liquid is drained i’ll put it in the mold.
i have no idea if this will work. but it Does taste good. so there is that. and at least my kitchen is no longer covered in cheese.
also to all of you getting pissed i was calling this cake. growing up it was quite literally called cheesecake so. hush. not everyone’s traditions are your traditions that’s what makes them traditions.
what Is tradition about this is that my great aunt would be rolling in her grave if she had a grave to roll in.
i fear i am still sticky.
toodoloo
9:12am. i lay awake and living off of less than 6 hours of sleep, petrified at the state of both my fridge (which may be covered in liquidy sticky goo) and my pashka. my parents are due to arrive sometime between 12 and 1 but it’s my parents so it’ll likely be between 1 and 2 but probably not after 3. my sister will be with them. she is the only one who knows about the pashka.
also thank u everyone for figuring out the mysterious red and green cherry things. they do indeed look like the holiday fruit. if this works perhaps i will try again with the holiday fruit.
for now though i lay in fear. and will try to muster the courage to open the fridge.
HOLY SHIT I MIGHT HAVE DONE IT
this is a twist i was not expecting
12:13pm. the table is set. my parents will be here imminently. the pashka has been moved into its mold and is sitting in the back of my fridge. and i myself am walking across the street to get champange. for some reason. i was told to. unsure why. no one in my family drinks. (the spiking of the slurpee last night was an effort to get in touch with my ancestors)
my parents do not know there is pashka.
you might be wondering why we are celebrating easter on a saturday when christ has definitely not yet risen. the answer is that no one in my family is religious. i have actually no idea why we are celebrating easter.
it’s time
i put some comically large strawberries on her
time to see if it’s good
i step out of my kitchen. there have been murmurs of dessert speculations. but no one was expecting a pashka. except my sister who of course knew of my scheme.
”alright,” my dad said, taking a bite. remember that he didn’t even know there was pashka until a few minutes ago. “how did you make the cake? because it’s really good”
and while this recipe was a pain in the ass to make, i will share it. with all of you.
HOW TO MAKE THE PASHKA
step 1. first you must be a little insane.
step 2. gather the ingredients: 2lbs farmers cheese, 1/2 cup sour cream, 1 stick soft unsalted butter, 2/3 can evaporated milk, 1 3/4 cups sugar, about half a cup finely chopped unsalted macadamia nuts, about 3/4 cup chopped golden raisins, 1 orange, 1 lemon, vanilla extract, 1 vanilla bean, cheesecloth, 6 inch vintage mold, salad spinner bowl or something else with holes in it, 5 lb weights, napkins, vodka (to drink yourself)
step 3: combine chopped macadamia nuts and chopped golden raisins into a container with lid. zest into it 1 whole lemon and 1 whole orange. add the juice of the lemon and the orange. add in a large splash of vanilla extract and a scraped vanilla bean pod. mix, cover, and put in fridge for several hours
step 4: press the farmers cheese through a fine mesh sieve with the back of a spoon into bowl. set aside.
step 5: put 2/3 cup evaporated milk into saucepan. slowly heat with 1 cup sugar. heat until it has taken on color and has thickened. stir a lot. remove from heat.
step 6: cream butter and 3/4 cup sugar with electric mixer paddle attachment. add sour cream and condensed milk. beat again.
step 7: add in the fluffed farmers cheese. switch to the beater attachment. beat at least 5 minutes
step 8: take the mixture a few scoops at a time into a cloth (not a paper towel) and wring out excess liquid over a sink. this will be messy. and sticky. wear clothes you don’t care about. now might be a good time to drink your vodka. scrape the napkin contents out into a bowl. it should still be liquidy but less wet. repeat for rest of bowl.
step 9: drain liquid out of the nut raisin citrus mixture. fold into the drained cheese
step 10: put cheesecloth into the basket of a salad spinner. make sure there is overhang over the edges. place cheese mixture into the cheese cloth. wrap excess cloth over the top of the pashka, weigh down with a plate and 5lbs of weights. place the salad spinner basket into a bowl slightly smaller than the basket so that there is room for the liquid to drain to. put in fridge for around 9 hours
step 10: remove pashka from salad spinner basket and place in your mold, place lid and weights on top of it for 1 hour
step 11: remove weights and plate. soak up any liquid that has been pressed out with paper towels. leave in mold until serving time
step 12: remove from mold, take off cheese cloth, place on plate. serve with strawberries. be very glad that you only have to make this cake once a year.
happy easter. i’m going to drink another mimosa.
I have a baby cousin who's Two Spirit.
Their parents are leftists, open minded, pro LGBTQ+, learned to use the right pronouns (to their face at least) all that jazz.
Their Auntie grew up in a remote area, little old fashioned, doesn't really "get" the non binary thing, and hasn't quite got the hang of the singular 'they' yet. But she tries.
When my cousin got injured and couldn't drive their parents shrugged and told them to quit their job.
Their Auntie drove them to and from work every day until they got their cast off.
Which family member do you think they'll ask next time they need help?
Do you want to be ideologically perfect, or do you want to help?
I DON’T WANT TO HAVE TO TOLERATE FACISTS TO BE ALLOWED TO LIVE
Hey, I can tell you're really upset, and I'm sorry you're upset, but you've missed the point a little bit and I want to take a moment to explain why.
What this post is saying (and I've fudged some details for privacy) is that sometimes the real allies aren't the experts who know all the terminology, but the people that are trying their best to learn despite not understanding yet. Auntie literally did not know that non binary people existed, is trying to learn an entire new concept, a new name and pronouns, and yeah, she's messing it up and imperfect, but when her nibling needed help SHE'S the one that stepped up. Not the family members that used all the right terminology.
I was at a ceremony once where an elder was sharing some really beautiful teachings about unity between different cultures and peoples. She grew up on reserve and english was not her first language, and so some of the terminology she used to describe people was out of date. Not like slurs, but not the language we use in 2026.
So we let her know, politely, that there are different terms that people use these days. Problem solved! We youngins certainly could have written her off as a racist, but her intentions were good, she just didn't know.
My point is that some "allies" are more concerned with looking good than DOING good.
And yeah in an ideal world no one would ever fuck up pronouns or use outdated language, but in the real world no one gets it right all the time. You gotta look out for the people who are trying to move in kindness, even when they don't have the same knowledge base you and I do.
LILI REINHART Getty Images Portrait Studio at SXSW 2026