„but i'm a fallen angel!”

22 intj 8w9 so8 mel-phleg yanblr + landmine follow + int from @obamasweedpen

[downward-angel]

a wayward angel's digital diary .

T W .ᐟ uncensored discussions of mental illnesses , obsessive yan-esque behavior , and general venting . . . do you wish to continue .ᐣ

anons ; 🕯️ , 🫧 , 🍮

oh . . . you do ! welcome to this angels diary !

my name is anything you wish for it to be, i only ask you use ' he / him ' pronouns on this ethereal soul .

my mortal form is 22 years of age . dx severe recurrent MDD + severe GAD . med recognized autism , ocd , cptsd , and other things not worth mentioning. i follow back ! interactions + follows from @obamasweedpen .

i am an agender, butch lesbian. i am neither man nor woman, but i worship feminine individuals like the Goddesses they are to me.

this blog is entirely focused and dedicated to My One and Only, My Darling, the Love of My Life ! every concept is about Her ! ask me about My Darling , please ! oh , how i love Her !

do not romantically pursue me . i view anons in a strictly parasocial manner , be as invasive and weird with your questions as you wish . i am an open book , i will answer any question you ask me !

this angel has no dni , so follow your own . i do not care who interacts with me , i cannot control who interacts with me . i hold no opinion in majority of internet discourse , whatever it may be . please do not rope me into discourse , or try to use labels for me that do not apply .

minors are allowed to follow me . . . i suppose , as i cannot control you . please do not be weird to me , and especially do not try to pursue me .

tag directory

for general posts, see 🪽་༘࿐ 𝒶𝓃 𝒶𝓃𝑔𝑒𝓁 `𝓈 𝒸𝑜𝓃𝒻𝑒𝓈𝓈𝒾𝑜𝓃 ͎. ｡˚ ° ⊹ ˚.

for reblogs, see ੈ✩‧₊˚ 𝓈𝓅𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒹𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝒹 𝓌𝑜𝓇𝒹 ͎. ｡˚ ° ⊹ ˚.

for personal posts, see . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ 𝑔𝑜𝒹 𝓁𝑒𝓈𝓈 𝓂𝓊𝓉𝓉𝑒𝓇𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈 ͎. ｡˚ ° ⊹ ˚.

for the askbox, see ༊࿐ 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒸𝑜𝓃𝒻𝑒𝓈𝓈𝒾𝑜𝓃𝒶𝓁 ͎. ｡˚ ° ⊹ ˚.

for ask games, or invasive questions, see 𓏲🪽˚. ˖ . ݁ 𝒶 𝒸𝓊𝓇𝒾𝑜𝓊𝓈 𝒹𝑜𝓋𝑒 .ᐣ ͎. ｡˚ ° ⊹ ˚.

yearning to be parasocial over my relationship? see about My Darling 🤍

[downward-angel]

ragdoll, maine coon, mau, manx, and bombay + whiskers and down (PLATONICALLY ofc !!!!) for the ask game !!

awww , how sweet you are ! i wrap my wings around you tightly , little dove . i , too , think of you softly , and with much love and care . for this ask game ! ragdoll is answered here .

.ᐣ maine coon ; i am from the southern united states , born and raised ! ( yes i do have an accent ) so , i like to think i can tolerate heat pretty well . please don ' t put me in the cold it hurts my joints terribly

.ᐣ mau ; ummm . . . pasta . muscle memory , steady rhythm , and good memories associated with it . .

.ᐣ manx ; oohhh i love this type of question . duster ‘ s ‘ stratosphere ‘ . . .

.ᐣ bombay ; starting testosterone ! on june 1st i had my consultation , and on the 19th i officially started hormones ! hrt is life saving healthcare ! !

[downward-angel]

Tit, Bluejay, Ragdoll, Medic, Vaccine, Anatomy, disease, six, CAPTURE and TIMELESS.

Hehehe :3 a bunch of asks here and there

-🫧

aaacckkkkk . bbbuubblle at t tack .. .,., oh my goodness those are so many questions OKAY . okay . for this game , this game , AND this game .

.ᐣ capture ; yes to both ! i am an information sponge , and i will soak up and keep track of anything you tell me . i play a bit of a forgetful act , but my memory is sharp . i remember events down to the minute , habits down to the detail , everything . ! ! ! i do not have much items from My Love , but every piece of mail i receive i cherish with my whole being !

.ᐣ timeless ; goodness , as long as i have known Her . i have had obsessive tendencies throughout my life ( ocd yay ) so becoming that way in relationships is not much of a surprise . my actions have toned down a considerable amount since i was a teen , but . . it is still there.

.ᐣ medic ; suffocatingly calculated . i do not pay much mind to romance in general and am quite avoidant . once i have deemed someone worthy of my time , i give it . my time and energy is very important to me . my love is not outward or bold . it is small and purposely interwoven . i mould myself for your needs , memorize to heart your preferences and wants . i am the background processes helping to cushion your life .

.ᐣ vaccine ; i mould myself for you . it is not how ' i ' do it , but rather what one needs in the moment . knowing how to read people and finely tuning yourself for their needs is highly important when it comes to ' comfort ' or ' help ' .

.ᐣ anatomy ; heheheh , like i already don ' t ! and have . for years . if you know how to utilize the brain , you can store an infinite amount of information . leaving paper trails can be so messy ! . . . i have had to tone down my behavior because it was really messing with my well being .

.ᐣ six ; ahh . . i cannot remember . i have always been an ' obsessive ' creature . i think it is how my brain is wired ? i am obsessive over so much . events , places , stories , games , and people too . obsession consumes the body and mind whole . for the longest time , i thought obsession was the only way to get through life .

.ᐣ disease ; . . . two faced : )

.ᐣ ragdoll ; ohh ! i am not quite sure , actually ! hmm . . . i am thinking about this quite hard and i really do not know . ahh . i suppose the stuffed animal i sleep with each night .

.ᐣ tit ; i am quite tame . i have described myself as ' boring ' for years ! i have a wild side , i am sure every one does , but i don ' t let that side come out much anymore . i am wild'ed out !

.ᐣ bluejay ; ooohh !!!!! a figure of a character my brother yumeships !

gasps for air . coughs and gags . so MUCH oh my GOD BUBBLE SO MANY

[downward-angel]

ohhhh my gooood there is something horribly wrong with me Just terribly wrong . i am starved i am deprived i am itching to know all the dark and messed up things She is thinking about me . i know She is ! ! ! please disgust me please horrify me please leave me speechless i need it i need it i need it ! ! ! !!

[hpdamechan]

with all the hate going on, it’s a great time to spread positivity to other jirai blogs! send nice comments, asks, etc! i know im gonna be anoning for some people in a minute and sending kindness. stay safe, everyone!

[angxlicxxval]

I’m gonna kill myself and give you a real reason to be upset with me

[downward-angel]

i expected this months pmdd flare up to be debilitating . i do not know if it is the meds , the vitamin d supplements , or the fact i am on testosterone now , but it seriously was not as bad as i expected .

well , outside of ocd rumination . when am i not ruminating though ? rocd is a nightmare to deal with . this disorder controls my life and i hate it

[biaho]

[d0ki-d0ki-k0k0]

♰ 𓏼 Ask Game ◞

𑣲┆Ragdoll ⟶ Is there an item you cherish above all else?

ᨳິ┆Cardinal ⟶ How is your sense of direction? Are you always lost, or can you navigate pretty well?

𑣲┆Persian ⟶ Whats one item thats a must have for your dream home?

ᨳິ┆Blue Jay ⟶ What's the best gift you think you've ever given?

𑣲┆Sphynx ⟶ Is there a person you idolise above all else? Tell me about them.

ᨳິ┆Tit ⟶ Would you consider yourself a tame person, or do you tend to be more overt and wild?

𑣲┆Abyssinian ⟶ What's a recent dark thought you've had that scared you?

ᨳິ┆Woodpecker ⟶ Do you give up easily, or are you determined to see things through to the end?

𑣲┆Bengal ⟶ If you could only wear one style of clothing for the rest of your life, what would it be?

ᨳິ┆Kingfisher ⟶ If you were royalty, what would your title be?

𑣲┆Maine Coon ⟶ How well do you tolerate extreme temperatures? Is hot or cold the worst?

ᨳິ┆Hummingbird ⟶ Would you consider yourself an energetic person?

𑣲┆Mau ⟶ What's your favorite food to cook?

ᨳິ┆Cuckoo ⟶ If you could replace your life with the life of one other person, who would it be and why?

𑣲┆Manx ⟶ If you could identify yourself using only one song, what would it be?

ᨳິ┆Oriole ⟶ If you were turned into a soup, what all would be in your soup?

𑣲┆Bombay ⟶ Whats the most positive experience you've had in the past month?

ᨳິ┆Goose ⟶ Is there a person you can't see yourself living without?

♰ 𓏼 Statements ◞

𑣲┆Whiskers ⟶ I want you to pat my head and acknowledge me.

ᨳິ┆Feathers ⟶ If I could, I would whisk you away with me.

𑣲┆Claws ⟶ I wish I could hurt everyone who has ever caused you harm.

ᨳິ┆Beak ⟶ I'd tear apart the world so we can be together.

𑣲┆Teeth ⟶ I wish I could leave the imprint of my mouth on your skin.

ᨳິ┆Talons ⟶ I want you to dig your nails into me and never let go.

𑣲┆Tail ⟶ I want your attention to be fixed on me.

ᨳິ┆Down ⟶ I think of you softly and with much love.

[your-d1gital-angel]

Hmm... I've seen a couple people do these... I kinda wanna do this too! So here it goes...

ANON / MOOT ASK GAME!!

❤️- What is your life like?

🍴 - What is your favorite food? / What is your favorite drink?

☯️- What's something you do to calm yourself down?

🔆 - What is your favorite time of day?

🌀 - What are you doing right now?

💗 - Do you have a partner? / Are you looking for a partner?

❌ - What is something you hate? / What is something you hate people doing?

🎉 - Favorite place you've been to?

⛓️ - What's your least favorite place you've been to?

🍭- Do you have any favorite games or fandoms?

💟 - Tell me a random fact about yourself!

🌐 - What inspired your name? / Have you had a previous account?

Hope you guys like this!!! I'm trying my best...

[pixicidal]

doing ANOTHER ask game since people liked my other one!

12 questions, 6 statements, bon appetit!

has "yandere"/obsessive questions/statements!

questions:

"Toothache" - do you have a sweet tooth?

"Anatomy" - would you stalk your darling?

"Vaccine" - what's your way of trying to cheer people up? (humor, comfort, etc)

"Medic" - how do you show your love?

"Prognosis" - do you have a dream job? if so, what is it?

"Pain" - would you ever hurt your darling?

"Heartbeat" - what are your nicknames for your darling? (if you don't have one, which ones would you use for them?)

"Alarm" - do you have any fears?

"Anethesia" - are you a forgetful person?

"Blood donation"- do you prefer biting or being bitten?

"Bandage" - how would you act if someone you loved abandoned you?

"Fever" - do you get easily irritated?

statements:

"Blood" - i wouldn't mind getting my hands dirty for you

"Medication" - i want to care for you

"Nurse" - i want to save you from your life

"Emergency" - i get excited when you post/i see you on my dash/etc

"Symptoms" - i write down things about you .. what you like, your interests, anything about you

"Sickness" - i want to terrify you

[downward-angel]

being ziptied and drugged when ᜊ( ‘ ⩊ ‘𖦹)ᜊ ?

[alvaeris]

YANBLR ask game - A STALKER'S MANIFESTO

POSE - Would you like it if your darling stalked you? How would you react to walking into their room and finding pictures of you plastered across their walls?

SHUTTER - Are you fond of photography? Do you opt for more traditional methods of stalking, or do you get creative with it?

CANDID - Does your darling know that you stalk them? To what extent?

SCREEN - What lengths would you go to in order to get your hands on more information about your darling? Would you ever consider illegal means?

DEVELOP - Do you look back at material you've gained on your darling, or do you immediately move on and continue the hunt for more?

TIMELESS - How long have you had stalker-like tendencies? Is it a trait that manifested young, or has a relatively recent experience prompted you to exhibit them?

CAPTURE - Do you keep knick-knacks that your darling gives to you, regardless of material value? Or are you more fond of information learnt about them through your interactions than physical accoutrements?

COLLECTOR - Would you scrounge about for items your darling leaves behind? What if they were more taboo things, like their bloodied bandages or old clothes?

MUSE - Why do you stalk your darling? Is it for the thrill of learning things about them that they don't even know are out on the internet? Do you like the feeling of knowing them so intimately? Or is it an intense need to catalogue every action they take throughout their day?

[notmadewithlove]

one chance yandere ask game

this is themed off me. suck my dick loser

questions total : 17

statements total :

six : when did you start feeling obsession ?

rummi : how good are you at putting up a façade ?

therapuetic : do you understand / experience the stereotypical description of love ? ( i.e butterflies in stomach )

argument : how well managed is your temper ?

destruction : have you ever injured someone you were obsessed with ?

sister : who do you hate the most ?

stress : do you seek calm in people or alone time ?

killing harmony : how hard do you try before you give up ?

nightmare : does your obsession carry on to your dreams ? how so ?

the bar : what do people describe you as ?

manage : do you respect your obsessions boundries or do you break them ?

bed : where is your safe place ?

note : have you ever written a letter to your obsession ?

grief : has an obsession of yours ever died , or gotten close to it ?

gift : how well do you know your obsession ?

disease : what would you describe yourself as ?

outpatient : if you had five minutes to get your obsession all to yourself , what would you do ?

coloring : come home to me .

scream : we will die together .

truce : you're the only one who understands me .

dramatics : i crave you even if i shouldn't .

unethical : i don't deserve you .

egotistical : you don't deserve me .

lies : you're an angel sent from heaven .

repose : you will be mine someday .

short : i want to hurt you .

devil : i wish to claim you .

parasite : you should give me all your love .

vomit : i'll remember you always .

love : it hurts me that i don't have you .

[downward-angel]

🤲 🤲 🤲

[madokangelic]

isnt mutual pain infliction with another such a pure form of love ? loving another so much so much youre willing to accept the burden of physical mutilation from that person ? betraying your own sense of autonomy for another person and living with that moral decay, so romantic… right ?

[downward-angel]

i am sitting down and making new thingies for my intro post ! i need to clean it up ! i need to refine it more ! it is too SLOPPYYYY . . . . i will be back . everyone hold me accountable ! ! i will be back and no i will not play world of warcraft instead

[downward-angel]

Pfft haha can I think of you as a digital sentient entity then? I was thinking about you the other day and damnnnn how difficult it was to get a picture of what you may look like.

But we have similar views in the matter of gender, I think. I view it as something social and historically constructed, also as a way of repression tbh. As for myself.... T^T I'm still figuring out. Specially because I'm quite indifferent to it actually hahaha I may be not much in touch with what being a boy, girl or non binary person is. But it really doesn't bother me a lot when people treat me as such.

- 🫧

you may think of me however you please . . . sometimes , the answers are right infront of you !

i was also the same way ! early on in my transition i had felt so conflicted on what gender meant for me , especially due to the fact i found it pointless for the exact same reasonings you do . i had identified as non binary for a few years , but . . . that did not fully describe me ! the gender that describes me the best is ' agender ' but even then . . . i wish i did not have to subscribe TO a gender . alas , humans cling tightly to labels , and if i have the ability to simplify it down for them . . . then i suppose i will .

my discomfort comes and goes , and seems to be circumstancial . i am quite apathetic to humans views or assumptions of me ! or , i try to be , at least . i wish i still had that soecific brand of nonchalance i had when i was a teen .