Modern poetry at its finest
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@dracodrago138
Modern poetry at its finest
Wait you're telling me that those weren't edited as a joke???
Yeah, we broke broke containment.
Made the worst brownies ever created just now
Chat where did I go wrong
the reviews are in
please reblog this i spent way too long on what was supposed to be a quick edit
When will you return to the Forest
When all factories are rubble
Post corrections/clarifications are my favorite genre of humor: a compilation
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.infinitycow.eplay
I don’t know how pickup lines work but I know they don’t work like this… though I am flustered by your offer at such a noise making app, boy are my cheeks red, my golly gee wilikers you’re really getting me going now
why the fuck does english have a word for
but not for “the day after tomorrow”
???
Because you’re not looking hard enough! ;)
Overmorrow = the day after tomorrow
Ereyesterday = the day before yesterday
Example: I defenestrated my brother ereyesterday. I shall defenestrate my sister overmorrow! Because I hate my family and also windows.
english has some of the best examples of stupidly specific words, tbh
Rhotacism (n): excessive use of the letter “R”
Lingible (adj): meant to be licked
Whipjack (n): a beggar, specifically one who is pretending to have been shipwrecked
Yerd (v): to beat with an object with a stick
Roddikin (n): the fourth stomach of a cow or a deer
Balbriggan (n): a type of fine cotton, most often used in underwear
and my personal favorite
Cornobble (v): to slap or beat another person with a fish
This makes the English nerd in me extremely happy.
World Heritage Post
pussy so hot she put grill marks on my dick
Oh my god do not reblog this post if you are actually horny. What is wrong with you
World Heritage Post
this morning NASA abandoned their mars rover Opportunity (aka Oppy) because it (she) got hit by a storm on Mars and it knocked her camera and wheels out and her last words to the team were “my battery is low and it is getting cold”. I know she’s a machine but I’m devastated. Oppy is the one who discovered water on Mars. RIP oppy ily space baby
they didn’t abandon her!! they tried eight months to reach her!!!! as their last farewell to her yesterday they played her “I’ll be seeing you” by Billie Holiday:
“I’ll find you in the morning sun
And when the night is new
I’ll be looking at the moon
But I’ll be seeing you”
They love her so much and they tried so hard!!!
Oh man, It doesn’t end there.
This isn’t the first song NASA sent Opportunity. They had a playlist:
https://www.space.com/41434-mars-rover-opportunity-wakeup-music-playlist.html?fbclid=IwAR3uL6q4tOmLQTIEhiwYegGc99nv4N01HQKItpCLQiQYIptBOevNN6uIyT8
It’s on Spotify, it’s called “Opportunity, wake up!“
This is what’s great about NASA and it’s what’s great about people. These are world-class engineers. When they sent a rover to another planet they could have easily looked at it as just another scientific tool. But people don’t do that. We can and will get emotionally attached to the most inanimate of objects. We can and will anthropomorphize anything. And frankly Opportunity’s camera mast looks like a little face with eyes and everything, so why not?
So they started calling it her.
They nicknamed her Oppy.
They told her to take a selfie not long ago.
After 15 years of Oppy flipping the double bird to her original 90 day life expectancy, when a planet-spanning dust storm finally knocked her out and she stopped responding to the engineer’s wake-up messages, they started playing music for her.
And after 8 months and almost 1000 unanswered wake-up messages, when it was finally clear that Oppy was never going to wake up, the last thing these world-class NASA engineers did for their little rover on another planet
Was play her a love song
my friend took in a stray and she’s the cutest kitty ever but he named her oil so whenever he sends a picture of her me and my other friends look like we’re roleplaying as the US military
in our defense this is oil
Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not fucking blue.
I have been waiting for this post all my life.
They are indeed purple, But one thing you’ve missed: The concept of “purple” Didn’t always exist.
Some cultures lack names For a color, you see. Hence good old Homer And his “wine-dark sea.”
A usage so quaint, A phrasing so old, For verses of romance Is sheer fucking gold.
So roses are red. Violets once were called blue. I’m hugely pedantic But what else is new?
My friend you’re not wrong About Homer’s wine-ey sea! Colours are a matter Of cultural contingency;
Words are in flux And meanings they drift But the word purple You’ve given short shrift.
The concept of purple, My friends, is old And refers to a pigment once precious as gold.
By crushing up molluscs From the wine-dark sea You make a dye: Imperial decree
Meant that in Rome, to wear purpura was a privilege reserved
For only the emperor!
The word ‘purple’, for clothes so fancy, Entered English By the ninth century
.
Why then are voilets Not purple in song? The dye from this mollusc, known for so long
Is almost magenta; More red than blue. The concept of purple is old, and yet new.
The dye is red, So this might be true: Roses are purple And violets are blue
.
While this song makes me merry, Tyrian purple dyes many a hue From magenta to berry And a true purple too.
But fun as it is to watch this poetic race The answer is staring you right in the face: Roses are red and violets are blue Because nothing fucking rhymes with purple.
I am in tears
fuck algebra i don’t need it just give me a dead body and i’ll figure it out from there
i feel i should clarify i am a mortuary science major