me @ W after trying to wrangle the mess that is Darknights' Memoir's timeline
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@draconaregina
me @ W after trying to wrangle the mess that is Darknights' Memoir's timeline
i don't think this really counts as a spoiler because it's only like two minutes into the chapter but i love toby continuing to poke fun at the stupid theorist side of the fandom (i say that with love) at every opportunity he gets
the other thing about Internet dogpiling is that it is just not possible to think clearly during the acute stages. it’s so easy to criticize people for responding defensively or tactlessly to mass criticism but I cannot overstate the degree to which your brain becomes a rat in a trap. I think we do have to temporarily recalibrate our expectations in these circumstances and accept that they do not necessarily represent how that person responds to criticism. the skills for self-regulating and reacting to normal interpersonal criticism are not the same skills needed to respond to viral callouts.
It may not be that deep, but I have a shovel and I will make it as deep as I want.
High key what House of Leaves is meta about
I know not what House of Leaves is but I wholeheartedly trust your comparison and I shall take it as fact!
House of Leaves is a book about a man trying to explore the inside of his new home, which proves substantially more difficult than should be possible, due to its non-Euclidean dimensions.
Except that House of Leaves is actually about a documentary about a man trying to explore the inside of his new home, which proves impossible to document properly, due to its non-Euclidean dimensions.
Except that House of Leaves is actually about an academic paper, which itself is about an alleged documentary about an alleged non-Euclidean home, but none of this can be verified.
Except that House of Leaves is just, like, this fucking stack of papers I found in this old dead guy’s apartment, and, like, I don’t even know if its his or what because like both his eyes were gone and he didn’t have any degrees or anything. I tried asking my friend from the tattoo shop about it but she was fixing up this thumper tattoo right above a girl’s pussy the whole time we were talking; like Thumper from Bambi, and I’m not gonna lie man I was pretty distracted and I just couldn’t [XXXXS XXXX XXXX. XXXX XXXX XXX X XXX XX XXXXXXX XXXXXX XX XXXX XX XXXXXX XXXX XXX]^*
———
* Editor’s Note: House of Leaves is a metatextual examination of the ability for a minor inconsistency in measurement, which might have been ignored by a normal person, to cause an all-consuming obsession spiral in the sort of person who is academically trained, obsessed with documentation, or overtly pedantic, and-
“Johnny, please, I’m your Mother; I know I have a lot to apologize for but I can’t, not unless you return my letters; are you even getting my letters? I send one every week you know, but I think that nurse keeps them from you, keeps you from getting my letters, because I know, I know my sweet Johnny would never leave his poor old mother rotting away by herself in this horrible drafty ward if he was getting his mother’s letters, would you, sweet boy? I know she’s stealing my letters from you, she’s always touching my things, even though they haven’t moved I know she’s touching them I know she keeps you from me I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know [there’s a limit to what you can know. Some folks bump up against that limit and bounce right off and keep swimming, and some folks, well. Some folks SPLAT]I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know [they just gotta keep digging away at it. Even when it’s not that deep, they just… grab a shovel and keep digging. Lord knows what motivates them. A kind of Madness I suppose. Some folks find GOD in that madness. Not much of a believer myself]I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know
I know
I know
I know
I know
I know
I know you’ll visit me for Mother’s Day, won’t you?
🧿
*Editor’s Note: he did not
Younger people, one thing I want you to understand about Millenials is that, overall, our parents taught their daughters to aim for careers and employment, but they didn't teach their sons to keep house. This causes a whole lot of Situations.
My brothers are my half-brothers; they spent summers and some holidays with us. I love my brothers.
Their mother picked up after them. They were not required to take plates the kitchen or do the dishes or anything like that.
My mother, who would tell you she is for equality, came home one day, sighed at the mess of dirty dishes scattered about, and said, "Gayle, help me pick up."
"Those aren't my dishes," I said. "I picked up my dishes."
My mother sighed again. "Just help me pick up."
"No," I said again. "I didn't make that fucking mess."
She never approached my brothers and said, "Boys, in this house, you take your dishes to the kitchen." She did not tell our dad, "Hey, tell the boys they need to pick up after themselves."
It was, "Gayle, pick up the dishes."
And when I refused because it was not my fucking mess, I got lectured about being difficult.
See also: My brothers--in a classic dick-move of all siblings--figured out they could pop the lock on the bathroom door and throw it open, and I would freak out because I was in the shower and trying to get five fucking minutes of peace.
Guess who got yelled at for being "unreasonable"? Not the boys. Because a lot of moms of millennial boys still said shit like "boys will be boys" when they should have said "Boys, if you got body-slammed on the concrete, I'm not taking you to the hospital."
It was similar for Xers. I spent a lot of time in my 20's teaching romantic partners and friends basic household skills and having to be really hard ass about them carrying their weight.
It is stupid and infuriating and I hate that the "Boy Mom" trend is setting yet another generation up for unfairness and domestic strife.
Yep.
One time when I was in high school, my mum came home w/ groceries. She needed help bringing all of them in. Did she ask my brother who was already outside playing basketball? No. Did she ask her husband who was sitting on his ass watching TV in the living room? Nope. She walked past both of them, through the house, and into my room where I was doing homework and yelled at me for not immediately coming out to help her.
I have been told that I am "the last of the millennials" or that I'm a "gen zer" or that I'm "on the cusp" by so many different people that I am 100% convinced this is not a generational problem. It is a societal problem. And millennial parents are not immune to raising their kids this way just bc they're younger than x'ers and boomers. Same goes for gen z'ers and every generation after us so long as misogyny remains the bedrock of society that it is.
My parents did a lot to teach my brothers to keep house but the one that sticks with me and drives me a little crazy when it runs up against social expectations is that when we were 13+, everyone was on the dinner rotation. We didn’t have to make anything fancy and we didn’t have to do it alone, but once a week, dinner was our responsibility.
When I tell people this, they always, ALWAYS, assume I have sisters. They say shit like “oh I’d love to do that, but I have boys” and when I tell them I only have brothers, “oh you must have eaten a lot of burned dinners then!”
Like, no. To both of those statements. Sure we burned stuff when we were younger but we all learned to cook before 13, that was just the age where it became a scheduled chore. You know who did burn everything? My MOM. My Boomer dad did all the cooking because my mum didn’t want to and he was the one to help when we needed it, though my mum did help with prep/chopping things.
Fast forward to now, middle brother can make the best risotto I’ve ever had and my youngest brother is vegan and makes almost all his own meals because his partner isn’t and he doesn’t expect her to make two meals so he can eat.
The worst part of this social conditioning is how bullshit it is. I know this is not ingrained, I know people are teaching their sons to be assholes, and I look at my middle brother in his immaculate apartment with tasteful decor that he picked out himself and I look at my youngest brother who does all the clothes shopping for him and his partner because she struggles with it and it makes me want to just start biting people.
Men can be better than this, I GREW UP WITH THEM. I SAW IT. The parenting described above is fucking bullshit and it can be unlearned. My mum’s Russian and my dad’s a Boomer and they unlearned it, which means anybody can.
a party of adventurers that are all equally convinced that they are in completely different forms of media
the mage keeps giving smug glances in the direction they assume a camera is in. the fighter keeps getting indignant about missing attacks because of "bad dice rolls." the rogue is doubtful that a villain is gone for good because "nobody ever stays dead in comics." the paladin attributes fortune to "good rng." none of them have even considered that "tumblr post" was an option
skittles pizza party success ! yay look at them!
Being a calm, gentle, non-reactive person is really hard work, which is probably why many people are none of these things. Personally I think it’s worth it but sometimes one does want to just roll around on the floor wailing at the top of one’s lungs
People in my notes who think I’m repressed or dissociating: you will feel better when you learn emotions are not a binary of Not Feeling It vs Being Overwhelmed By It
I absolutely understand the grievances with Arknights' portrayal of Dublinn in episode 9 and even early fears they were going to fuck up with the Sarkaz's role in Londinium but it's crucial to remember that since the start the story never stood on Victoria's side.
Horn goes into Episode 9 thinking she was only going to deal with a terrorist group aiming to hurt the nation and procedeed to spend most of the chapter locked in a struggle with a racist victorian colonel who's actually the one who stole the explosives her team was looking for and who proceeds to use Dublinn's existence as an excuse to bomb his own city just to kill and infect as many Tarans as he could. You could argue he might have been an exceptionally racist officer that doesn't reflect his empire but the Taran situation within the city (completely assimilated, their culture shattered, obvious victism of racism) makes it clear that if he's like this it's because he's a product of Victorian culture rather than because he was evil and racist all on his own, and that Horn and other characters' idealized image of Victoria is wrong.
From the very start of act 2 it's showcased how Victoria is self-serving and prioritizes its own objectives over the life and safety of its own citizens, from the start it's villainized as much as if not even more than the other side and built up as the origin of all the problems afflicting in the chapter, which is then reflected in the Londinium conflict with how it's revealed that the Dukes are the ones who let the Sarkaz into the city in the first place to use as a card in their political struggle and then kept letting them do as they pleased within it because they cared more about their own plans and safety over rescuing the trapped citizens. Whatever you might think of Dublinn and the Sarkaz's portrayal in all this, the story goes out of its way to say that the nobility and military are directly responsible for every bad thing that happened. It then proceed to use the Steam Knights and Siege's character arc to shatter the idealized image of a Victoria that was ever good or noble, in case someone wanted to argue that it was just about the current Victorian nobility. Vina's father was written as the typical "rightful good king" explicitly to show that he couldn't do anything anyway because the empire was too corrupt to let him change it, and her character arc includes rejecting him and the entire "King Arthur" legend she had going on, burying the idea that you could ever make Victoria good by perpetuating its own legends and traditions. When Golding sees the kids clinging to the legend of the Steam Kings heroically pushing away the Sarkaz she gets depressed because she sees it as proof that victorians aren't going to learn anything from any of this. Even as we ally with the citizens resisting against the Sarkaz they're constantly reminded about everything their dear city had done against them; even as we're brought to empathize with Stainless, Catherine and the other workers we're not allowed to forget that those workers were building weapons and armors for the Steam Knights to murder outsiders with. All this while trying to make you empathize with the antagonists at all times despite their actions or how evil they had been (see: Mandragora).
Whatever you might think of the arc or whether you believe it was insensitive or badly written, saying that it was ever in support of Victoria and that you were ever supposed to see the Sarkaz or the Tarans as pure evil to be destroyed to restore the empire's status quo is just wrong, and it was wrong even before the second half of part 2 and later events made it overly obvious by having both the Sarkaz and the Tarans win the means to gain independence despite everything, by not crowning a new king and by depicting Victoria as a dying empire and the dukes as relicts of an old era who're going to be left behind.
it is immensely frustrating that people keep saying varkaris is racist because, like, fundamentally he's the marginalized party. it's bullshit, the story is clear he's allowed to feel hatred because he does not benefit from any kind of institutional power and in fact is still victimized by the lingering effects of colonialism. calling his actions and speech racist from an in-universe perspective is claiming reverse racism is real. but AK choosing to do this with sargon and minos means we have a greek-coded man (i know greeks are in a similar area to many europeans where their whiteness depends on the era and area but they are SOMETIMES considered white because the point of whiteness is often to turn different marginalized identities against each other; see irish people being reframed as white in the US in order to make class action between irish immigrants and black americans harder) talking about how much he hates and is justified for hating people from the area coded as the middle east, africa, and mesoamerica. and the story agrees with him. calling his actions and speech racist from an out-of-universe perspective is pointing out that the writers made a dumbass decision to write a european man whose hatred of arabs, mexicans, and black people is justified.
like... fuck, HG, you really shot yourself in the foot here. what a mess.
so like the main thing is you should read act 2 because i do think they tie it together BUT IF YOU WANT MORE DETAILS HEAVY SPOILERS FOR ACT 2 AHEAD
okay the thing that i keep trying and failing to say, i think, re. this whole commonwealth thing (sorry! i will be over it soon!) is that like, there is already an assumption when white euramerican readers encounter a work that is about race or about a country in africa, asia or latin america, that it can fit only a few categories:
it is a moral educational fable and lesson about race or colonialism; this can either be heartwarming or tragic
it is a portal into a world of misery that is simultaneously designed to instruct and to affirm the fortunate nature of their own world
it is unreal and magical
it is impenetrable, incomprehensible and unknowable because it is a portal into the impenetrable, incomprehensible and unknowable
which really is just two categories: either you are easily knowable entirely through the lens of your country and race, or else you are inscrutable and incomprehensible. you are either a simplistic child, or you are the inscrutable and unknowable [oriental].
-- this was the beginning of, i think, the fourth or fifth draft of this post, which i have been writing and rewriting for the past week, trying to nail down exactly what i want to say about this whole wretched affair.
the first draft went into a long and winding diversion about the perils of how non-white authors are (mis)read today, no matter how they write. that was not what i wanted to say, but what i had to end up saying in order to justify and clarify what i wanted to say which is that non-white readers get to demand higher standards of style of their writers and interlocutors. i said "get better taste" then clarified all the ways in which i meant to absolve non-white authors of the burden of better taste because i recognised they work in a poisonously white industry.
the second draft went into a long and winding diversion in which i ended up trying to defend jhumpa lahiri's latest short story collection from being misread and cut down to being about "immigration", when in fact these stories are much deeper than review allows them to be.
the third draft required another long diversion, because i observed that the reviewer in the guardian who cut ms lahiri down to a writer who writes merely about immigration in the ways we imagine it - from the global south, characterised by precarity and poverty - was in fact not a white person. it was vital to discuss the problem of double consciousness and the processes by which we come to acquire the tastes of the very institutions that refuse us full personhood. no one knows this better than me, who speaks only english with any reasonable fluency, and grew up reading more english novelists from the 30s - 50s than the average english person appears to.
the fourth draft finally got somewhere that i wanted it to be: that we cannot mistake unintelligible writing filled with beautiful words with difficult writing that articulates difficult thoughts perhaps through not very exciting words, perhaps through the poetic. that deliberate strangeness and defamiliarisation deployed as literary technique is different from a mere statistical combination and shuffling of words done by a machine. that we must insist on our own comprehensibility on our own terms and legibility to the white gaze be damned; but we must not allow them to confuse our illegibility with a flattening incomprehensibility.
however, all of this is really just four different ways of describing a) the processes by which those four misreadings outlined above are enforced on non-white writers whether they like it or not and b) some thoughts on escaping this, or ignoring it, or doing our own thing. the object lesson was: no matter what we do we will be bundled into category 4 if we say anything too uncomfortable, but we must not mistake the difficult for the nonsensical and vice versa simply because white people cannot do this. in other words, what i was really asking us to do was to stop reading like white people.
the other problem with this is that the ode to difficult writing can be misused anyway. witness sam kriss' concern for us: "white people eat this shit up and hand out condescending prizes; Indians tend to prefer people like R K Narayan or Sadat Hasan Manto, who actually know how to write." mind you, sam kriss is not indian and this follows on from a tirade in which he deliberately decontextualises and misreads an arundhati roy quote from god of small things (a quote, if which, taken in context is actually an interesting and effective use of language and repetition to tie across a particular thematic strand across the novel) and where he accuses salman rushdie of writing things to the effect of "she fed me the chapatti of her lies and the rotis of her deceits". needless to say: that's kind of immensely fucking racist. i don't think more close reading is actually going to solve this problem and neither do i think more difficult writing will, because there is always some bozo in the world who is going to insist that it is, in fact, nonsensical.
so what to do?
anyway, i witnessed a very interesting conversation earlier today in which some people we talking about how a particular adaptation of a work had made the work "more racist". in this conversation, an essay by a very thoughtful non-white writer had been deployed as "proof" of how the adaptation had become "more racist". of course a close and thoughtful reading of the essay in question might have suggested that the "more racist" was perhaps something written with a level of anger or bitterness, or perhaps an emotional statement: the bewilderment of encountering something so vilely racist, seeing no one react to it, and trying to make sense of it by grappling at the nearest racist thing and gesturing at it. which in this case, is the actual literal source text. there is no "more racist" in this case, because the source text is essentially mired and dripping in it and the escapes from its racism are slim to none; accidental rather than intentional.
this is interesting to me because it reveals a very different reading strategy than the one deployed above: if non-white writers are read either as moral fables or unreal or as nonsensical, white writers are read as real, as universal statements about the human condition, as stylists; are given reparative readings of every kind. writing by white euramericans, therefore:
is universal and therefore particular: it speaks for all but it does so by speaking in specifics of themes and emotions and experiences
is a work of art, made with a particular style, whose artistic processes can be analysed and studied to yield greater appreciation
draws from the real to tell real stories, even when its magical and fantastical
surpasses and transcends politics, which is to say that nothing can be said about the text by looking at the world from which it comes
comes from a world which is simultaneously both a product of its time (exculpatory) and the vanguard of its time (laudatory) and thus, it cannot be held responsible for any of its views
therefore, there are no racist texts or authors, only accidentally racist ones. therefore, jonathan franzen writes about family, but arundhati roy writes magical realism and unreal people in an incomprehensible indian family. therefore, tim o'brien is writing about the horrors of war, but bao ninh is writing about the misery of vietnam, the country. therefore, tolkien is writing about the horrors of environmental destruction and war, but arundhati roy is writing about the unreal because a muslim character is displaced into living in a graveyard after a literal pogrom. therefore, jilly cooper, heyer, christie and sayers are all products of their time, but [insert woc author of the week getting cancelled here] is a racist, sexist, imperialist etc etc etc. wodehouse, is ofc, innocent of collaboration with the nazis (despite having made actual propaganda for them, tho he claimed he didn't understand what he was doing), but r f kuang is normalising genocide*. on and on it goes ad fucking infinitum.
provocatively, therefore, i would like to invite an experiment: what if we were to switch up modes of reading for the two? what if i was to say that since they're all from england, that therefore pratchett, susanna clarke and tolkien are only ever saying something about england and its miseries, and those miseries concern england's flirtations with eugenics driven aristocratic racism (remember, after all, clarke & pratchett exists downstream of and inherit from tolkien)? what if i was to say that wodehouse is writing magical realism, because surely no one can behave that farcically and surely nothing can shake out so improbably; surely jeeves must be a magical construct of some sort? or perhaps tim o'brien is, in his evocations of war and its aftermaths. what if i was to insist that sylvia plath is incomprehensible, because her language is rich and strange, or that victor hugo is writing incomprehensible word salad because of his digressions. what if, instead, you were to understand that arundhati roy is an artist, that perhaps brandon taylor is more interested in gay life than race, that there is no particular lesson to be learned from the sorrow of war except that war is hell, that perhaps jhumpa lahiri is telling you stories about women in unhappy marriages first, and immigrants second? what if you were to understand salman rushdie's midnight children as a real story about real things? what if you could stop feeling that thrill of glee every time some non-white writer gets taken down? what if you could feel less self-satisfied that the author you were told is important turns out to have been unimportant? what if your first instinct wasn't to insist that either the author or the text is unreal or impossible when encountering a piece of writing by a non-white author that you can't wrap your head around? what if you tried? what if you tried even a little?
*using this as an example to make a specific point, i am deeply uninterested in litigating whether or not wodehouse or rf kuang are guilty or not; i am interested in the reception these respective "misdoings" have received and how they've been narrated to the world
Holy ground
guys I went back to recreate this and. It’s gone.
Pour one out for butt dyke house
now i can finally play as a vampire: the masquerade character in a tabletop roleplaying game
I've mostly been playing mine in beach volleyball and not gonna lie it hasn't gone very well
likely because volleyballs are notoriously terrible LARP partners
I really wish arknights didn't have a character who's named for an ethnic slur of my people
http://www.rsdb.org/slur/lapp
If you wouldn't use esk*mo, g*psy, or r*dskin, you shouldn't use l*pp.
Like. Why is this okay. Why do people support this.
It's also fucked up that this character is snow/cold themed and animal themed. Two things that Sámi people, and other arctic circle native groups, are typically racially stereotyped with. Sámi people are not animals and we are not "snow eaters".
Hey arknights fans can you not be in my replies telling me, a sámi person, how to feel about an ETHNIC SLUR being used as a fun character name? I know gacha games rot your brain but can you attempt one critical thought on this?
Actually I'm going to need non-indigenous people to reblog this. The only reason shit like this gets excused is because people don't know anything about sámi people. Begging people to listen to us and understand how painful it is to see hate speech treated like a fun character feature.
I really appreciate everyone interacting with this is in good faith ❤️ it's been really nice to see such an outpouring of love and understanding.
To the Arknights fans still in the notes saying "it's just a place name!!" Where do you think the placename came from? L*pp land is just a way that surrounding Sweden, Nord, and Finn culture referred to "the place where the fucking L*pps lived". It is STILL a slur when referring to the Place.
There have been some good questions on how Sámi territory should be referred to going forward. I would ask that you use our chosen name, Sàpmi. The nation/place is Sápmi, the people are Sámi. If anyone has any other questions please feel free to ask, I really appreciate people caring about our culture.
If anyone is interested in learning about other Sámi issues, please keep eyes on the illegal windfarm construction that we recently successfully fought against.
https://apnews.com/article/norway-sami-wind-farm-energy-indigenous-54f4cafbee29578dc9de1f206df3f9ff
people say folks with adhd struggle with "delayed rewards" aka long term goals and as such we tend to focus more on short term rewards. what they don't talk about is that at when we Do accomplish long term goals we don't actually feel anything proportionate to the amount of work we did to achieve it. In my head I suffered for a while and then money spontaneously appeared in my bank account.
"Don't you feel satisfied that your windows are so clean now?" It sucked and it sucked and now I don't care. I just remember the sucking.