Homozonk

Valkyrie | He/Him | Transboy | DID | Kin Let's be real, this is just a garbage dump of garbage interests. Feel free to rummage through the trash. TERFS, MAPS, EXCLUSIONISTS, ANTIKIN, TRANS/HOMOPHOBES DO NOT INTERACT

[radio-jupotter]

Wake up... A cup... get your tits sucked...

[orteil42]

learning music theory taking me places i don't feel safe in

[kaijuno]

Sacred image

[pepsimansthickjuicymeatyschlong]

Look a this photograph

[kaijuno]

[pocketss]

laurie 😔

[melorasmushrooms]

We’ve gone beyond birds, he’s Deep Cuts now

[alfredfortnitejones]

[vampirecatprince]

Okay- but this is leaving out the fact that Jeff Fowler literally hand delivered a 24k gold leaf embossed copy of the script to Carrey that's worth at least $100,000, because of that gold ink script comment.

[rubychan228]

This is true, btw.

Did you actually deliver him a script with gold ink? (Two years ago, Carrey quipped that his return would require the angelic delivery of a script that’s written in gold ink.) I did, and it’s now worth about a hundred thousand dollars, so, hopefully, Jim has got it locked up somewhere.

[kinkshame-puncher-666]

Reblog this to ease the back pain of the person you reblogged it from

[drawerbread]

how dare you ask me to live with it?

[ruinedchildhood]

[catgirlforeskin]

Me on the nipple if I’m being honest

[catgirlforeskin]

:(

[curioscurio]

Which Old Man is getting the MOST dick at the Orgy For Old Men?

Details:

Assume that they're all attending the same Orgy For Old Men.

The orgy begins on Sunday at 5:49 pm.

The orgy ends at 3:15 on a Wednesday.

When not performing in the living room, assume each member has full access to the house.

The house has an aquarium in the basement.

Obi-Wan, Gandalf, and Oogway's MBTI Type are all INFJ.

Plankton and Mr Krabs can only participate in a room with a steady supply of running water.

stardew valley Grandpa own the house, and expects everyone to have sex on his shitty fucking bed at least once.

Plankton and Mr Krabs work on Tuesday.

Joe Biden only has 5 shots left in him, and any more will kill him. Each session with Biden lasts twice as long, but results in fewer orgasms.

Einstein fucks hard but won't stop talking about theoretical physics, thus limiting his total score tally in the long run.

Obi-Wan will not fuck anyone unless a single old man woos him for one entire day beforehand. Whoever is wooing him can not participate in the orgy that day, but will get bonus orgasms from Obi-Wan specifically.

The Ice King can not participate in group sex with Plankton and Mr Krabs unless accompanied by Saruman or Gandalf because his ice powers will kill them forever.

Gandalf and Master Oogway, when paired together, result in a terrain change. The weather for the room they're in will then change to "hotboxed." Every old man sharing the room with them gain the status condition: Stoned By Proxy.

Getting stoned results in more orgasms/per hour, but can discourage certain old men who find it unsavory.

Master Oogway will not fuck The Ice King because he doesn't believe in the monarchy.

Saruman will betray whoever fucks him for their enemy.

stardew valley Grandpa has the largest cock and can cook vegetables for fiber boosts.

Albert Einstein has a drivers license.

Which old man is getting the most dick at the Orgy For Old Men?

obi-wan kenobi

joe biden

the ice king

master oogway

saruman

gandalf

albert einstein

stardew valley Grandpa

eugene krabs

plankton

Voting ended onDec 6, 2024

[curioscurio]

The Final Results: Gandalf at 39.7%

[nunown]

me: i dont like gangnam style

you: yeah me nei-

me: PSY-ch!

[nunown]

reblog if you gangnam smiled

[bigandlong]

If you see this on your dashboard, reblog this, NO MATTER WHAT and all your dreams and wishes will come true.

[jae-felidae]

Oh hey! Haven’t seen this in forever! Didn’t reblog it when it came across me before, not gonna skip it this time, I need some good vibes.

[onlytiktoks]

[doctorvtumbls]

Only valid form of locker room talk. Anyone who says someone saying bigoted shit is "just locker room talk" is lying and they should be dragged for it.

[elodieunderglass]

(They’re a coxswain for a men’s rowing team and coxswains can be of any gender, provided they don’t weigh much.)

[mousenemy]

God the prices of tvs have changed so much let me get my graph

[mousenemy]

wow thats crazy... tvs used to be so expensive!!

[catesstrophe-deactivated2021030]

[frogmoss1]

from scotland. don’t get it. LOVE the vibe thoooo. reblog !

[segamascott]

american here! it’s kind of like this 👍

[frogmoss1]

something is in here with me

[alyssathestormwitch]

[dollmaycry]

[heliotropist]

Interesting interaction on Facebook today.

In one of my quilt groups a member posted some pictures of how she made ruffled aprons for her granddaughters, and then was stumped on what to make for her grandsons. Oh, she thought, custom pillows!

Gentle reader, I saw red. The backstory here is that quilters are overwhelmingly white retired women, and they (or at least the ones who join FB quilting groups) tend to have some VERY old-fashioned views on men and women and girls and boys. (Lots of posts like "what ideas do you have for boy quilts?" and the comments will be full of pictures of quilts with tractors on them.) So I thought, I guess the message here is that girls are supposed to be working in the kitchen while the boys lounge around on their fancy pillows waiting to be served. I was ready to let her have it in the comments and risk getting booted from the group. But first I looked in the comments to see how the post was being received.

I was blown away by the comments. Comment after comment saying things like, "those are lovely, I make aprons for all my grandsons and they love to wear them when they help out in the kitchen!" "I made custom aprons for all my sons, and then more for their sons when they got old enough! They all love them!"

Then, after all these comments, here comes OP with one of her own: "I think next year I'll make custom pillows for my granddaughters and ruffled aprons for my grandsons." My comment: "That's a great idea!"

Sometimes people surprise you.

And sometimes people just need a little nudge, not a flamethrower.

[the-haiku-bot]

And sometimes people

just need a little nudge, not

a flamethrower.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.