i’m like a clown that no one hired or pays
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

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we're not kids anymore.
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@dramaticl0vers
i’m like a clown that no one hired or pays
When I’m reading a smut fic and tryna figure out what position they’re in
"he's my husband!" I say with absolute seriousness (he's a fictional character)
When the fic is so good that it feels like the continuation of the canon
When the reader starts acting a bit too much like Y/N
Me when y/n is acting like a little fucking child for male validation
reader that isn’t a bimbo? Reader that is put together and likes dressing up? Reader that’s older than 18-20? Reader that’s not white-coded??? Reader who doesn’t have daddy issues? Reader who does have daddy issues in a “man hater” way? Reader who’s taller than 4’11-5’0?? Reader who’s quiet and reserved and not in a robotic way or stuttering way? Reader who’s Tina Belcher coded? Reader who gives off the vibe of a creepy barn owl but somehow it’s endearing? Reader who’s charismatic and charming? Reader who’s-
Respectfully, I do not believe you can call yourself a writer if AI is writing it for you.
The increase in fics I've seen where the writer is just like "well it's how I write so scroll if it bothers you"
Babe you're killing the planet
It's science
I need you, protect yourself (Husband! Ardeth Bay x Wife! Reader PART 2)
Your nightmares came back to you, just like they did ten years ago, before you even married Ardeth, only this time it was worse because you had to abandon your children to go with your husband to save the world…again …It felt like an eternity at the beginning.
Investigate the search for Imhotep in secret for months, arrive in London, see how your nephew, whom you had not seen for years, was kidnapped, return to Egypt in search of him… say goodbye to your husband, watching him get lost in the undergrowth from the jungle, not knowing if he was going to survive Anubis' army…Truly traumatic.
But now it was just another nightmare, right? A twisted game that played your head to see you suffer.
You saw the wounds on his face, his tattoos and his tanned skin emerging from the sand, and when you hugged him again…you really thanked God.
Your head was pressed against your husband's injured back the entire trip home, your arms clinging to his chest, as if letting him go from your arms again was mortal… Your head covered with your white linen cloaks, shielding you from the burning sun as the two returned home victorious again, with what was left of the Medjai army following them.
And when they arrived at the town and the cheers of its people could be heard to the heavens, while they cried with joy and threw flower petals at them, you thought that everything had been worth it.
Ardeth got off his horse and helped you off of it. His eyes analyzed yours and finally joined in a passionate kiss, a kiss that you had not experienced in a long time, and that you had hoped to feel. You turned to putty in his strong arms, sighing.
The other families were with the warriors who had returned…and those who did not mourn their loss, but were proud that their sons, husbands, brothers and fathers had died in such a noble cause.
—MOM, DAD!—
Oh, for god's sake, when you heard those two little voices in the crowd, you knew everything had turned out well.
You let go of your husband's arms with euphoria, and looked around, only to see your two kids running towards you. Your eyes suddenly stung with tears and you ran to throw yourself on the ground, just like your husband, who, like you, opened his arms towards them.
Your daughter and son threw themselves into your arms with joy, as tears ran down your face and you hugged them tightly, filling their faces and heads with kisses.
You felt Ardeth's arms around the three of you, you leaned on his chest and continued kissing their heads.
—My children, my babies —
You said, Ardeth caressed your son's head and kissed your hair.
[…]
Your children lay asleep, and music and laughter could be heard from the center of the village from the festival in their honor, you watched the fun of your village with a smile before finally entering your shared tent.
Your eyes fell on Ardeth, who lay standing with his back to you, watching the flames of the torch burn down.
You walked towards him slowly and wrapped your arms around his chest, resting your head on his shoulder blade.
—We're in home…—
You sighed, your husband turned around and hugged you, burying his face in your neck and placing a kiss on it. His beard tickled you and a small giggle left your lips as he clung to you tighter.
—When was the last time you were in my arms like this?—
He asked, kissing your shoulders covered with the black fabric.
—Months ago…—
You said, sighing and closing your eyes.
—Ardeth…do you think…that thing will come back?—
You asked, a shiver running down your spine. Your husband left your neck and took his hands from your waist to your cheeks.
—If he did, I would be calm… I'm talking about, I have the bravest warrior in the entire desert by my side, why should I be afraid?—
He said smiling, kissing your lips. The kiss became more fiery as the minutes passed. You broke away from the kiss and looked at him, with a flirtatious smile and a look that expressed mischief.
—If so, why don't you come and we have a sword fight?—
The Medjai let out a loud laugh and his grip returned to your waist, pulling you close to him forcefully.
—If that mummy was not the cause of my death, I am sure that you will be, woman—
I'm just here to say that I'm writing part 2 of Ardeth bay x wife reader
Ardeth and his wife be like:
I need you, protect yourself (Husband! Ardeth Bay x Wife! Reader PART 1)
Fandom: The Mummy, The Mummy Returns
Since you and your husband returned to London, troubles broke out in your lives and your brother's.
Imhotep had woken up and had everything to gain. You were terrified, your nephew had been kidnapped and these people had no mercy.
Being the wife of the chief of the tribe had not been easy, you were a foreigner, your knowledge had gaps.
But after a considerable time, seeing that you were simply sincere and devoted to the love of Ardeth and the people, you managed to win the affection of most people.
They even shared gun knowledge with you, and you were forever grateful.
Now they were in Ahm Shere, where the plan was as follows.
You, Evie and Jonathan were going to cover for Rick and Ardeth.
And although you insisted on accompanying your brother, your husband flatly forbade it.
"You are my husband, not my father, Ardeth, you cannot order me not to do it"
You said denying, while your slightly wavy hair moved along with the denials you made with your head.
Ardeth understood, you were terrified, and you wanted to fight them, side by side, as you had done since the first time, but he couldn't expose you to more danger, not again.
"I am not asking you as a husband, I am ordering you as the head of the Medjai"
You shook your head, defeated, as a tear pitifully fell from your eyes. Ardeth took you by the cheeks and dried your tears, looking into your eyes.
"I want to go with you..."
Your husband denied.
"I have promised you before, I will come back to you, one way or another, but I will"
A sob escaped from your throat.
"When that damn mummy returns to hell with the Scorpion King, we will return to the village and live in peace, I promise you, my love"
He said, you looked him in the eye.
"Come back, it's a direct order from the wife of the boss"
You said, your husband hastened to kiss your lips. a deep kiss, almost goodbye. He broke away from you with difficulty, before running off so you wouldn't chase him.
"Ardeth!"
You told him with tears in your eyes. You hugged Rick and got ready with Rick and Evie. Oh, thank goodness. When the revolver was leveled at Ardeth's head and a shot rang out, he nearly had a heart attack. But you held Jon so tight when you saw the man go down thanks to his shot.
Well, after that, Rick managed to defeat the Scorpion King, and Izzy found them and rescued them.
Oh how you loved him.
There he was, riding his black horse, smiling at you.
"Izzy, put me down"
The man huffed in annoyance, but at Rick's accusing glare, he did.
Before going down, you looked at your brother with watery eyes and ran to hug him.
"I will miss you so much, Rick..."
Your brother sighed and kissed your head, hugging you.
"We will continue writing to each other, but I hope you come to visit me without a mummy wanting to destroy the world"
You laughed and you separated from his embrace.
You said goodbye to the entire crew and Ardeth got off his horse. You laughed and ran into your husband's arms, uniting them in a hug expected by both.
You got on his horse and hugged his waist throughout the entire ride. And when they got to the village, the celebratory whoops and whistles at the two of you and the army invaded your ears.
Now if you had earned the affection of his family.
Fear, Trauma, and Chaos Theory (Husband! Ian Malcolm x Wife! Reader)
(Let's imagine that Ian's children are yours, and that you were the only "Mrs. Malcolm", I'm too lazy to write)
You were an expert paleontologist who had met Malcolm early in college.
At first, they both hated each other and couldn't even stand to see each other, given the fact that their ideas contrasted terribly.
But after a while, they realized that they were an exceptional team on the science side, before realizing that they actually liked each other.
That's how you ended up married to Ian Malcolm, a handsome scientist and mathematician who's obsessed with chaos theory.
After a while, you two had your three children.
Elizabeth Jones Malcolm, age 8, Luke Jones Malcolm, age 5, and finally, Jeremy Jones Malcolm, age 2.
Your husband and your children were without a doubt the things you loved the most in this world, but your love for science and the dinosaurs meant that you couldn't refuse Hammond's invitation to go to Jurassic Park.
And everything was going great, in the helicopter they both sat next to each other, and they even held hands during the Hammond documentary.
But the problems started when your husband started flirting with Dr. Sattler.
You just looked at Alan, who gave you a look of embarrassment and understanding.
But the seriousness of the matter began when you told Ian how you felt, he accused you of being: "Tantrum and Childish", so you got out of the car and got in with Tim and Lex.
Oh, what a bad decision.
The T-Rex attacked, you and Tim fell down the ravine into the tree, and Malcolm ended up passed out with a badly injured leg.
During the entire stay in the bunker, Malcolm prayed to God for your well-being, blaming himself for your disappearance.
And this is how it is now, you were limping as fast as you could to the convertible with Tim, Lex, Ellie and Alan at your sides.
-"Y/n!"-
Your husband yelled to see you walking with difficulty, being helped by Alan.
-"Ian!"-
When you got in the car, you hugged him as tight as you could, avoiding not rubbing his wounds.
Tears ran down both cheeks as they kissed each other desperately.
-"I'm sorry, my love, I'm so sorry, everything that happened to you was my fault"-
He told you while joining their foreheads, you sobbed.
Without separating their joined foreheads, you wrapped your arms around Ian's neck.
-"Mhmm, Mrs. and Mr. Malcolm, we are here, we are childrens please"-
Timie said, you laughed and looked at him while still hugging your husband. you patted the heads of both children.
-"I know Timie, I know"-