Looking back
Life doesn't always go where you think it does.
When I was 10, I imagined myself going to college to be a veterinarian. At 14 I wanted to become an author. At 15 I wanted to be an archeologist. At 17/18, I graduated high school, but at that point I didn't have motivation for school, so I got my first job a month after. When I first started, if you told me I would have been there for seven years, I probably would have laughed.
My home life was good enough. I had a big loving family. My Mom, Stepdad, and I fought sometimes, but overall it was good. We had food and a roof over our heads. But when I was about 12 or 13, I met a "friend" and that relationship slowly started to be abusive. I got out of it about three years ago or so, I don't even remember anymore, and it's crazy since I was always afraid of what that person would have done to themselves if I left, but I finally found the courage to do so, especially after meeting Vale online.
Maybe a year after that, I became part of Mai's discord server. We had fun, and for a while, I thought I would be able to stick with everyone. But, as time went on, her server got popular, and I'm still so happy for her that it did.
But I found that I'm not really good at being with big groups of people. I have very niche interests and while I'm trying to get into more things, I find myself falling back into old fandoms, shows and games that I had growing up. And while Undertale will always be a part of my life now, it will never outshine things like Dragonball, Kingdom Hearts, or especially Pokemon.
As for where I am now, it's very different than what I thought possible two years ago. I now work at a company that my Mom worked at for years when I was a kid. I have my own apartment, which again I wasn't sure I was ever ready for when I was still in school, being a scaredy cat when left alone, and am planning to move to a new one next year. I have my permit, and plan to attempt my license sometime late this year, or early next. And, while I may not be on this blog very much, I have a new one, @briar-craft where I post my fandom works, as well as the connected blog, @briarcraftofficial which is still a work in progress, but I plan to put my original works there.
All of this to say, while I am happy with where I am now, I can still look back at what I went through to get this far and appreciate it. My time on Neopets gave me my love of roleplaying and writing. The years of mistreatment both by my ex-friend and my first job helped me find courage to stick up for myself more, and have a voice. Mai's discord, and all of the incredible friends I had while there helped me be able to share my stories which I could never do before.
So, even if you're going through a rough time right now. Whether it be health scares, relationship troubles, or just self doubt, I just wanted to say: Keep going. It's hard, you're going to tumble and fall, recovery from anything is not a straight line. Take a rest, take a break for as long as you need. Just make sure to stand back up and keep moving. If nothing else, know that you have someone who believes in you.
After all, we're all in this life together, the best we can do is encourage each other to be our best versions of ourselves.











