there was once a club owner named Rick
whose spot an old lover would pick
she showed up by surprise
and his club took a dive
cause he could only think with his... heart

Kiana Khansmith
DEAR READER

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Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

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macklin celebrini has autism
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NASA
$LAYYYTER
d e v o n
Stranger Things
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
cherry valley forever
styofa doing anything
One Nice Bug Per Day

if i look back, i am lost

#extradirty

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@dredpilotroberts
there was once a club owner named Rick
whose spot an old lover would pick
she showed up by surprise
and his club took a dive
cause he could only think with his... heart
that is the face of a man worried he will be next
Good news, he was not next! In fact, she accepted him as her mate, he learned the crane mating dance and now every year, he artificially inseminates her with crane semen to expand the very endangered crane population. True story.
Sorry, he WHAT? Imagine being this man's boss and having to sit him down like. Listen. Brian. We need you to fuck the bird. You have to act like you're excited about it.
crane husband.....
this is the diametric opposite of all those awful swan wife stories and i love it.
(WalWaPo makes you jump through like three separate hoops before you can read the article, so I will share some of the highlights:
Walnut was born in a species-recovery breeding program in the 1980′s. The program had crane chicks hand-raised by human volunteers, and at that time they did not fully understand the measures necessary make sure that the chicks do not imprint on humans and retain their identity as cranes.
As a result, her keepers believe, Walnut does not recognize other cranes as members of her own species.
It has not been proven that Walnut killed her previous suitors; however, there is a persistent rumor in the white-naped-crane-conservation community that she did.
Because this species is highly endangered, and the gene pool of the captive population is small, it’s pretty important for the survival of her species that Walnut A) mate, and B) not kill a bunch of other cranes.
The actual name of the keeper is Chris Crowe.
They both arrived at the Smithsonian Conservation Biology Institute in 2004.
Walnut immediately began paying special attention to Chris--and ignoring the eligible male crane in a nearby enclosure.
Walnut initiated their courtship, performing the opening moves of a mating dance.
Chris realized that if he reciprocated the mating dance, it might be possible to artificially inseminate Walnut with her participation and consent. (The process normally involves restraining the bird.)
It worked!
Chris and Walnut have had five children, who were raised by other crane couples at the facility--sometimes the biological dad and his mate--both because it’s unclear whether Walnut would accept the chicks as her own, and because Chris is not equipped to be a Crane Dad.
However, the Institute provides her with artificial eggs to sit on, and Chris takes his turn looking after them. (This would not work with real eggs because he can’t sit on them properly, but Walnut seems to feel that he is on the job if he just stands over them.)
Chris accepts that he is pretty much married to this bird. White-naped cranes live to be about 60, and they mate for life, so he knows he can’t retire while Walnut is alive. (At the time of the article, Walnut was 36, and Chris 42.)
Legit cannot pick the funniest part of this
she has not been PROVEN to have killed her exes, but there is a PERSISTENT RUMOR (really officers she's simply DEVASTATED, she sobs, wearing a new feather boa unfortunately resembling her most recent deceased husband)
His name is Chris CROWE. (Mrs. Walnut Crane-Crowe?)
the mental images of a whole human man learning and performing the crane mating dance, and "sitting" on artificial eggs so she thinks he's performing his duties as a husband and father (and apparently OBJECTS if he does not?)
"chris, buddy, you gotta marry the possibly-murderous crane lady for the GOOD OF THE SPECIES." (alternately: "chris, my man! good news! we found you a very interested lady! She's 36, she's very spirited and independent, she holds a very important and rare status in her society! ...Is there a downside? WELL...")
chris sits any potential human partners down, like "my love, you must understand before we wed,,, i am already... Attached" (camera drifts wistfully to the above photo) "Lady Walnut and I have an,, Understanding... the relationship is open, but very committed"
just had to explain this post to my father bc he thought my stifled laughter was a signal of illness.
well done, everyone, good game. hit the showers.
Not only is he 'married' to walnut, this has apparently happened SEVERAL times, so he has MULTIPLE crane wives, none of which know about any of his other crane wives. This man is, for some unknown reason, irresistible to cranes
the “this content has been removed for violating Tumblr’s Community Guidelines” notice really adds a lot of flavor to this post and somehow makes it MORE obscene than whatever that actually was
World Heritage Post
I regret being the bearer of bad news, but I thought it should be shared that Walnut passed away in January of this year (2024). There's a lot of mixed info about the lifespan of cranes (due to people misunderstanding what a median is...) but the average for most species I know of is 20-30 years (in the wild if nothing eats them/they don't die young), and 30-45 in captivity, with the oldest known white-naped crane having loved to be 46. Given that she was 42, this old gal did good, and I'm certain she will be missed by folks here.
Fly on forever Walnut Crane-Crowe
I remember one time I was doing an ADHD evaluation with a kid who had asked to go to the bathroom like 3 times during the 30-ish minute part of the interview where we asked his mom questions, so I knew that was his go-to excuse when bored. We get started on the WISC-V after the interview and within 30 seconds of vocab starting he asks if he can go to the bathroom, and I say:
“No.”
And this kid rolls his eyes because DUH and he says “Why not?” all cranky-styles, so I said
“Because you don’t need to go to the bathroom, you’re bored and you need to move. If you need to move, tell me and I’ll let you know if we’re at a part of the test where we can pause. Like, for example, we can pause right now if you wanna race me around the building.”
And this kids face fucken LIT up. We did three laps around the outside of the building and came back in and he finished like 3 subtests and asked if he could move so we got up and tried to see how high we could jump for 3 minutes and the finished the rest of the assessment with one bathroom break. And that was all it took tbh, this kid was SO capable he just needed to move and hadn’t been allowed to do so before. I also like making people mad by pointing out that I know what they’re up to, then just giving them permission to do the thing they were sneakily trying to do in the first place. It’s like being affectionately annoying and it’s part of how I connect to others.
Today, foul-smelling pus leaked from my baby Qais’s wound because I cannot afford medicine, I will not forgive being ignored without even a share.
His pain worsens daily, and treatment is unreachable; please donate to buy medicine, stop infection, and save child.
Please don’t scroll past us in this critical moment; even a small share or donation could ease suffering and give Qais another chance.
Gofundme - Vetted#679
Fool me once? Shiiiit. Fool me twice? Fuckkkk bro stop fooling me
The Ball drops every year but Frank Ocean hasn’t for nine? Crazy.
Something about watching my cousin look at his newborn daughter tonight just filled me with all sorts of emotion. It really is life goals
The aft fuselage on Endeavour (OV-105) being installed onto the mid-fuselage, at the Rockwell International's Plant 42, Palmdale, California.
Date: December 20, 1989
source, source, source
Just found out about the content creation caterpillar hiding in the corner of my screen, I love it
“There is no other home”, Soviet poster, 1986.
Got to go see a replica ISS module at the Tellus science museum recently, it rotated around the catwalk and everything! It'll be there until April if anyone's in or around the NWGA area and wants to see it for themselves