Neverland

I live in a fictional world because reality refuses to give me dragons. Random is just because my thoughts don't walk, they skip through.

[gallusrostromegalus]

A cat is a machine that turns proteins into violence.

[starathsbunker]

#Helios was declawed by his former owners so he doesn't just slap things he dislikes like most cats#he really only feels confident in hissing at them#Especially because a lot of the thing he doesn't like are bugs and those are sharp sometimes :(#Selene has figured this out and now when she hears him hiss she sprints over the kill the fuck out of the bug#Helios has learned she will do this so he'll hiss at stuff louder and louder until she hears him#A nervous old man and his emotional support homicidal maniac tags by @gallusrostromegalus

I couldn't reblog without the tags because the context is hilarious

[gallusrostromegalus]

A Nervous Old Man (right) and his Emotional Support Violence Machine (Left)

Yes, he is more than twice her size. Yes, he is five times her age. Yes, he cries like a big baby until she kills Unacceptable Scary Things (earwigs) for him.

[cm8x-insanity]

I couldn't get these two and their dynamic out of my head, @gallusrostromegalus I doodled them (guessed on their collars)

[gallusrostromegalus]

OH MY GOD MY CATS HAVE FANART

[girlnephew]

[doctorbluesmanreturns]

[skodasforge]

“It’s photoshopped” honestly in the age of AI that has a homey sort of nostalgia to it. Remember when people used to put effort into faking things?

[kaosuqi]

photoshop fakers are like the villain with moral standards now

[3000s]

i'd truly be fucked in her situation because rumpelstiltskin is not a name that would come to mind for me

[3000s]

to be honest i forgot he did that

[homohypnoticus]

another example of me loving boring shit is liking the idea of getting my blood sucked by a vampire but like they give me snacks and take care of me like the same as when you donate blood. and not even in a like over the top romantic vampire way where they give me some big fancy meal and have me sit on a fainting couch or something, just like normal style. or hell even like having them take my blood in a more clinical way and then drink it from a container instead of drinking it directly from me. it's like. it appeals to me because it's kinda stupid and unsexy and funny but at the same time it's like a kind of denial. and there's a kind of tension. you know here they are holding back and approaching this in this very proper friendly way but they're still drinking my blood. and you know, do they also want to just bite me, do they also just wanna get right to it, even if they're not doing that? like how much effort is it taking to suppress that? i don't know. a vampire who's a doctor and they hypnotize you in the like medical hypnosis kinda way where it's just to make it easier to draw your blood. maybe they don't even drink it in front of you. and they make a casual comment about how it smells or how if you relax it'll taste better or whatever and it's like. yea they are going to drink this. they want this thing that's in my body. i like that weird sense of intimacy in a situation that's trying not to be too intimate. you know

[the-zenith-calls]

My favorite scenes in the LotR books are the ones where Legolas has vital information and just decides it's not important to share.

Like when Gandalf spent literal PAGES trying to figure out why the vibes were off in Moria and Legolas chimes in with just "it's a balrog :) that shit's evil :) we're so fucked :)" like what do you MEAN you knew already and just didn't tell him??

Or at the beginning of Two Towers when Aragorn thinks there's something nearby so he puts his ear to the ground to listen, and then like 10 minutes later is like "hmmm i hear horses" and Legolas is just like "mm yep. there are 105 blond bitches with spears" like you just let your friend put his face in the dirt and you can SEE them??

Legolas please gain a sense of urgency

[knives-in-the-dishwater]

It's because legolas hasn't spent enough time with non-elves to remember that they don't know what he knows.

gandalf is scratching his head in moria, and legolas is thinking "oh man, the wizard noticed something off *besides* the obvious balrog that we all are aware of??"

"I wonder what aragorn is listening for? must be hard to hear, what with all of the horses. How many horses are there, actually? 1... 2... 3..."

[taavicleric]

"What do your elvish eyes see?" is Aragorn saying, as politely as possible, "Because the REST OF US are at a significant disadvantage, Prince Dipshit."

[mckitterick]

[rip-quizilla]

[liarsblade]

[chrromebrutus-deactivated202105]

The Lord of the Rings: Loyal Steeds of Middle Earth

[candlejack]

EXCUSE ME EVERYONE. YOU MISSED ONE.

[dambiex]

the problem with parents is that they are undiagnosed

[beowulf22121]

Good news, as people with a diagnosis age, they can become parents.

I'm still a generation removed from my kid, but I acknowledge that and try to adapt.

I remember my parents specifically refusing to do that.

I know I'm not perfect, but I'm a step in the right direction.

[drenalinjunkie]

As my brother and I were talking about bad forks my mother was in shock and yelled about my father also has bad forks. .... We know....that's how we are who we are.....but at least the nephews have better luck for parents

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[lostsometime]

ok sorry to double reblog BUT I just looked him up and he does these fantastic videos where he breaks down HOW he actually mimics the other artists’ styles. Like for ed Sheeran, he explains how he brings his voice forward in the mouth, while Adam Levine sings in the back of the mouth, stuff like that. It’s SO COOL, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone actually break down how to do this sort of thing, as a skill, instead of just treating it like a neat trick they just happen to be good at. https://www.tiktok.com/@justinjmooremusic

Check him out he’s so cool

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

the foreboding sense of doom? oh yeah i know that one. just double check you have your wallet, keys and some chapstick, works every time

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

was expecting to reblog this with a tongue-in-cheek reply to the many people saying "this didn't fix me :(" but somehow not a single person in the notes is disagreeing. everyone's just nodding their heads thoughtfully bc yeah that's how you deal with the Foreboding Sense Of Doom, that's good protocol

[tachyon-at-rest]

Do the Doorway Macarena: pat yourself down repeatedly to the tune of your panicking soul.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

DOORWAY MACARENA

[birdplushie]

they should make it illegal to end your story with an epilogue where your main female character is suddenly randomly married and has children when she's never once expressed a desire for this previously

[dikdikpronouncedxylophone]

The most terrifying part of having memory issues is when you can feel something from 5 seconds ago be thrown out the window and there's an empty hole where it once was. You remember that you forgot something.

[syn4k]

[sandersstudies]

Going to see children and adolescents dance badly, play ball badly, sing badly, play recorder badly because they are young: YES! YOU ARE LEARNING! INCREDIBLE!

[sandersstudies]

People are so rude about going to watch the children in their lives do stuff shittily. “Ugh toddler dance recital,” “ugh tee-ball weekend again,” “ugh nativity play.”

That guy learned what skipping is this year and now he’s playing the piano the worst I’ve ever seen but the best he’s ever done! AREN’T YOU CAPTIVATED BY THEIR ABILITY TO DO A LITTLE BIT WHEN PREVIOUSLY THEY COULD DO NOTHING? Be filled with wonder and joy!

[doctorbluesmanreturns]

PEER REVIEWED

[victusinveritas]

[loontattoo]

see unfortunately I have this condition where if I am not explicitly told that I am a part of the ingroup then I will assume I must be part of the outgroup