Growing up on the internet it was drilled into us to not give our real name, age, etc. only for all these social platforms to turn around and be like 😦☝️ um actually, we really need your social security number, credit card, and full government ID.
Wait why did I not realise until now that when you message someone first on bumble it lets you send ONE message and that's it 😭 they had a walter white cosplay on their profile and I fear I have failed to be normal about it
If you can eat and drink, sleep in a bed, read these words, and have a bank account—you have the power to help. Don’t stay silent. Do something for Gaza today.
The majority of trucks entering Gaza right now are commercial, not aid trucks— which means supplies are being bought, not donated. Cash is urgently needed to keep these deliveries going. Please consider supporting grassroots organizations in Gaza with a donation, especially on a recurring basis.
not to sound like a christian facebook mom but some of yall need to have grace in your hearts for the people in your lives or the people you pass once on the road and never see again like you literally need to stop assuming the worst of everyone and their intentions it is poisoning your brain. you can be careful and responsible without being a miserable person. it is possible i promise
Also, if you're a jerk to others, the percentage of jerks you interact with will be higher than if you're not a jerk.
By being a jerk, you're actively making your life harder and less pleasant. This is because we're a social species, and we do this thing called "mirroring" usually unconsciously, so people tend to reflect the behavior you put out, back to you.
Also you can intentionally be kinder with people, and they'll be kinder to you.
We are a social species depended on cooperation to survive. Altruistic behavior is actually what's in our genetic past, far more than jerks.
A few years back, my comedian husband was at Cardiff Glee Club, waiting to perform. He's friends with all the staff there, so he was chatting to one of the glass collectors while the audience were coming in, finding their seats, ordering drinks to their tables etc
It was a busy night, and apparently the bar and kitchen were both running a little behind. Mid conversation , a woman strode up to Steff and his friend and aggressively said "I get that you're having a nice time, guys, but some of us are still waiting on drinks, so do you think you could do your jobs?"
Before either could answer, the bar manager materialised.
"Well, he's a glass collector and he's one of the acts on tonight," she said politely, pointing them out. "So, neither of them can help you. But I'm the manager, can I help?"
("I specified that," the manager told Steff afterwards, "because if she's going to be a dick, I'm going to waste her time by telling her why she's wrong and has just been stupid before I help her.")
"Yes," said the woman, now gearing up to get good and annoyed to compensate for her embarrassment. "We've been waiting for our drinks for over half an hour! This is ridiculous!"
"I'm sorry about that," says the manager. "We're super busy tonight, as you can see. What's your order number? I'll check its status."
The woman gave it. The manager looked it up.
"Ah," said the manager. "I see the problem - these were ordered twelve minutes ago, but there's currently a twenty minute wait, as you can see on the board. I'll see what we can do to speed it up, though, and we'll get to it as soon as we can."
The woman grumbled and left.
The manger put her one lower in the queue.
Five minutes later, a second woman from a different group arrived.
"Sorry, it's very possible I'm being a bother and you'll get to it soon," she smiled. "But I just wondered if there's an update on our order? It's been a while."
"I'm so sorry," the manager said, "we're super busy. Let me check for you... Yes, you're still in the queue. We'll get to you as soon as possible, shouldn't be long now."
"Oh!" says the woman. "No, no worries, I just thought I'd double check to make sure we hadn't somehow dropped off the system. Thank you!"
She left, and the manager put her one higher in the queue. When her order was made, the manager added an extra bottle of beer, and a little note that said "Sorry for the wait :)"
And I tell this tale because, the thing is... If this is typical behaviour, that first woman probably goes her whole life never quite being happy, never quite content, always missing out on free moments of human connection. By contrast, the second woman goes her life getting those little gestures, being seen that little bit earlier, having a slightly smoother time of things.
And neither probably even realises. In a thousand small ways, Second Woman has a happier time than First Woman, entirely down to their behaviour.
So yeah - act like a cunt to people, they'll repay you in kind. That's how it works. Your choice if you want that or not ig
As you may or may not know, I was laid off about a year ago. I still don't have full-time employment, but things are getting less bad. Here are some things I have learned that may help people in the same situation.
Something I need you to understand right now
The market is very very bad. The last time I remember it being this terrible was right after the mortgage busts in 2008-10. It might honestly be worse. The last time I looked for a job was three years ago and it has changed completely.
The number of people applying to available jobs is w i l d. The stats coming out of this r/recruitinghell thread are nuts. 2000 applications, even after screening out the obviously unsuited they still went through 900. There's no way to screen all of them. It is, unfortunately, mostly a numbers game.
I'm not telling you this to scare you or discourage you. But it will be hard, because so much is tied up into work, labor, and our senses of self. And if you're going to get through this, you need to understand what you're up against.
I hope the stuff below the jump will help you do that.
(If you need to contact me hmu on Bluesky or via pearwaldorf at gmail. I have messaging and asks turned off because spam and because I'm not on Tumblr much)
If you've just been laid off or are going to be
If you still have access to your old work's systems, grab what you need.
Get yourself the Laid Off/Let Go Checklist from Never Search Alone. Even if you don't sign up for NSA, this is helpful.
Never Search Alone is a mutual support group for job hunting that is supposed to help you figure out your alignment and purpose (Job Search Council). It feels very silly that we do not run these things in general, because it was actually extremely helpful when I found my JSC.
If you feel like you're spinning your wheels and trying to figure out what's next, this might be helpful for you. It's a lot of work, but I think if you put it in it will help you.
(I joined a JSC that kinda fizzled out so if you have questions, happy to answer them. Also if you want to do a JSC but don't have the money for the book, I can help you with that.)
I found Overqualified through a promoted post on LinkedIn (lol) and it has been useful small bites of information about things I don't want to think about much (like AI in hiring and marketing yourself on LinkedIn). The videos are short (under 5 minutes) and still helpful even if they're a little... yeah.
Give yourself a little bit of time to decompress if you can. You’re probably suffering at least a little bit of burnout.
**MAKE SURE YOU KNOW WHEN YOUR UNEMPLOYMENT IS RUNNING OUT.** (This totally didn't happen to me. Nope.)
The Actual Hunt
Sites to use
Hiring.cafe is an aggregation searcher built by Redditors that allows you to filter by lots of parameters, including ease of application, tech stack, cognitive load on the job, mobility, and physical labor required. It has a robust Boolean search that allows you to exclude companies you don't want to work with.
Welcome to the Jungle is for jobs with startups/smaller companies funded by VC (defined extremely broadly: Khan Academy is considered one). This is good if you have a tech stack and/or skill set you're proficient in.
Indeed is what I've been using because it allows you to filter on actually important things, like whether or not a job has a posted salary and allows you to hide companies/positions you're never going to apply for. Also locations that are too goddamn far despite trying to properly dial in what a reasonable communitng distance is. (Ahem.)
Flexjobs is a site that has fully remote positions with people who vet them and make sure they're real. To support this, the site is pay to access. Try the cheap version first--it might not have enough of the types of jobs you're looking for.
The best thing to do if you really want to be considered is to apply on the company's website if possible. Yes, I know it sucks and is way harder than just clicking a couple buttons. But that's a calculation you have to make about effort vs convenience.
Sites to avoid
I have an anti-rec for LinkedIn because it gets so much traffic and you can't exclude companies. Also the jobs get stale really quick because they get so many applications.
Lensa and Wiraa are weird scammy reposters that I have never been able to figure out. Do not sign up or click on links from them.
Pay
You're never going to remember hourly > salary conversions. Keep a note on your computer or a sticky note with relevant numbers:
Minimum wage in your state
When you're applying to remote positions (which vary wildly in pay) you do not want to aim for anything less.
Minimum wage in the biggest city close to you (if it's within commuting distance)
The reason I say this is because there can be a HUGE difference. Washington state minimum wage is ~$16 but varies greatly by locale. You don't want to concentrate on jobs in places that pay $4 less an hour if you could commute to a place that has to pay way more.
The hourly equivalent of your unemployment benefits
Don't even bother applying for anything lower than this if you still have them.
Hourly > salary conversions for round numbers (like $50K, $60K)
This might just be me but it was helpful to see the equivalents
Posted salaries
Personally I never apply to anything without a stated pay rate. In my state (Washington) it's illegal to post a job listing without one if your company has more than 15 employees. Lots of places will attempt to weasel around this by posting pay ranges that encompass whole-ass tax brackets. It sucks and those companies should go on your shit list.
Be aware of your rights regarding soliciting salary histories. It's illegal in Washington to ask for that, but may not be in your state. Some state labor and industries departments also have databases of businesses who have been cited for violating wage laws by employees.
You will quickly learn to feel in your bones Chris Rock's commentary about minimum wage.
Ghost jobs
Some companies leave job listings up for ages and/or aren't actually hiring. These are called ghost jobs and they suck. You'll learn to spot these as you become familiar with what's normal for your market. This list compiles some companies that do the ghost job thing. Which is not to say they're all fake, but this aligns with my experience.
(There are many legit reasons for posting jobs that may not actually be hiring, but we're not dealing with those here.)
Networking
I have a whole post about networking for introverts here. I think it is applicable to even those of you who are not. It also contains a bit of stuff about how to tweak your LinkedIn profile.
Resumes
If you need Word (or other Office apps), you can use it online for free. The only annoying thing is you can't save .doc/x files to your computer, so get used to putting everything in PDF or ODT.
Layout should be barebones. Do not buy the cute little templates from Etsy. I recommend finding any random ATS-friendly template and making sure it degrades gracefully. No columns, minimal formatting (bold and italic, font sizes). Or make a plain-text version.
This guy used to do recruiting for Google and has lots of excellent advice.
This is how you should construct your resume. Nobody gives a shit about the things you did, but rather what you accomplished while you were there.
Construct bullet points in this way, so they flow together and create a coherent picture of what you did. This is also a great place to keyword stuff.
The wait
Honestly I would not expect to hear back. Some people keep track of the number of applications > declines > interviews > offers, but I think that will drive you batty. I have found that if people want you to interview, you'll find out within a couple weeks or not at all.
The thing I was super surprised by? The lower-paying jobs like retail and food service are the ones I hear back from the least. If I'm lucky they eventually close the position and I get notified that way.
The grind. The fucking grind.
You will get a lot of rejections. Try not to take it personally, although I know it's easier said than done.
Like, I got turned down for a job that I was approached for, in that an HR person forwarded my resume to this other person, we talked for 90 minutes and I had an interview, and I still didn't get picked. That was kinda rough.
You will also run across a lot of entitled bullshit in job postings. You do not need to do a video interview or write a goddamn essay to stand out. This is how they identify the desperate.
Please leave time for processing all this, with or without a JSC. You cannot hunt well if you're all up in your head about how much something sucks, and it does suck.
That being said, come up with some boilerplate answers for common questions on applications like "Why do you want to work here?" It will make you feel less like dying of pure resentment when you already have an answer.
Do not be tempted to halt all searching if you get an interview. It fucks your momentum and makes it more difficult to pick back up if you get rejected (and you will).
A lot of feelings and attitudes will come up about how you perceive work, class, and "skilled" labor. Do not shy away from these, because examining this stuff is how we break down and interrogate how we come by these beliefs. Try and be a little dispassionate about it--you can't think clearly if you feel ashamed about having this stuff in your head.
Interviews
(I don't have a lot to say about this because I haven't had enough numerically to see if they're different from the usual advice.)
This is a conversation. You're just getting to know someone new for 20-30 minutes.
But also, STAR, STAR, STAR. You need to be able to think of times in your past where you have demonstrated qualities hiring people think you need to succeed in this job.
Interviews are farces, but that doesn't mean you get to opt out of them. Put on that jobsona, practice it until it feels more realistic. If you have a career center or unemployment office available, ask to mock interview there or with your friends.
I think one of the most important things to do is to ask questions of your own (lots more good lists at the bottom). Not only does it make you look engaged, it also gives you so much information about how the person sees the company and their role in it.
For example, a question I always ask is "What do you like about working here, and what would you change?" If somebody can't answer something as simple as that, it tells you a lot. I interviewed twice at a company with a dress code. Neither person went for the easy answer about abolishing the dress code, instead addressing a more substantiative issue that affected their work. I also interviewed with a consulting firm where the recruiter couldn't figure out a goddamn thing about what she'd change at the company.
Other random things:
It doesn't hurt to ask ideal timelines
Be a little wary of processes that seem to move too quickly
Misc advice
Keep doing it, be consistent, show up.
If you think you're being annoying, you're probably not the type of person who is actually being annoying.
Wherever you stop, that's probably a place you need to ask for help.
FIN
OK that was very long. Here is a picture of a bulldog in a stroller for scrolling to the end.
step one: be extremely depressed during covid-19 quarantine
step two: in your diffidence, leave many half-drunk glasses of water around your apartment
step three: your cat, who is stupider than any other mammal on earth, living or dead, starts drinking from your many abandoned water cups
step four: the cat now believes these are for her
step five: years later, you keep a glass of water on your bed side stand. not such a strange sight. however, it is the cat's glass of water. she loves it. she drinks from it, she sleeps beside it on the bed next to your pillow to jealously guard it from harm, she cries when the level gets too low and she can't cram her little head in far enough to reach the water. when overnight guests are there you have to explain that even if they are parched in the night, they don't wanna drink the glass of water, because that is the cat's glass of water.
you know how easy it was to get this picture? i picked her up, smooched her on her little head, put her down on the bed facing it, and she went "!!!! ooomye glase ofwater🥰" and started slurpin
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