obsessed. also makes sense when you remember than butterflies drink blood
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@drifting-cirro-cloud
obsessed. also makes sense when you remember than butterflies drink blood
A piece for Extended_Metaphor's "Their little Monster" (go read it!!!!!!!!)
-Halsin trying to put the pieces together.
"Astarion has no reason to become a better person in his origin playthrough!"
Idk man I'm feeling pretty fucking peer pressured into being a better person. Every new act is just.
Outside Force: Do A Evil
Astarion: Hey everyone, if you really think about it, Doing A Evil isnt really that bad of an ide-
The entire camp, all individually: Astarion I swear to fucking god if I see you looking at the astral tadpol or ethels hair or WHATEVER it is this time you WILL live to regret it. We care about you. You're our friend. We're going to grind your master to dust. But we will also grind you to dust and keep you in a jar in our pack if you keep this up.
My point was immediately proven in-game.
Astarion: Tells Yenna to get lost (Sorry bby girl I love you)
Shadowheart and Halsin: :/ :/ :/ Disapproval and lecture time
"Astarion has no reason to become a better person in his origin playthrough!"
Idk man I'm feeling pretty fucking peer pressured into being a better person. Every new act is just.
Outside Force: Do A Evil
Astarion: Hey everyone, if you really think about it, Doing A Evil isnt really that bad of an ide-
The entire camp, all individually: Astarion I swear to fucking god if I see you looking at the astral tadpol or ethels hair or WHATEVER it is this time you WILL live to regret it. We care about you. You're our friend. We're going to grind your master to dust. But we will also grind you to dust and keep you in a jar in our pack if you keep this up.
Wyll, referring to Halsin: That thick hunk of an elf
Me: P a r d o n W y l l
Lae'zel, referring to Halsin: Those tree trunk arms
Me: OKAY GUYS CMON NOW
...And Karlach calling him 'One hench elf'...
(Gale and Shadowheart being the only ones not down bad for that beautiful bear of a man)
Wyll, referring to Halsin: That thick hunk of an elf
Me: P a r d o n W y l l
Lae'zel, referring to Halsin: Those tree trunk arms
Me: OKAY GUYS CMON NOW
Wyll, referring to Halsin: That thick hunk of an elf
Me: P a r d o n W y l l
I love the Astaion Origin option to just double down on the "I'm not a vampire" claim after being spotted biting an enemy.
Like. I love the idea of Astarion bold-face lying. Looking Gale in the eyes, flesh still stuck in his teeth, and going "Nope. Not me. Nuh-uh."
And Gale's "Fine. Whatever. We'll drop it." is just as funny.
Imagining him handing out dinner at camp as usual. Passing everyone a bowl. Astarion coming up to take it as usual. And him just standing there flabbergasted like. You're really committing to this bit???
Astarion who refuses to admit he's a vampire vs Wyll + Lae'zel who will straight up go Yeah No Shit Bud when you tell them and Gale who Saw Astarion Take A Bite Out Of Someone.
Me when Astarion hit Tav with the "And to be clear, I do mean sex." comment in Act One before they hook up: Haha yeah sweetheart I got that
Me finding out I just completely missed him coming onto Tav at the graveyard in Act Three: ...OH NO. SWEETHEART. WAIT. I'M SORRY. GO BACK TO HAND FEEDING ME SOCIAL CUES PLEASE. I'LL APPRECIATE THEM FROM NOW ON I PROMISE.
Astarion's wording is so old fashioned when he's using vicious mockery 😭 it makes me think of Wyll and his dialouge about Astarion's age becoming apparent with his words choice at times.
And it's just. So funny to imagine this happens extra while Astarion is pissed.
He's frusterated over something and there's a 50/50 shot he'll do the dramatic dumbing down shit he does in game or begin just. Sneering words no one but Halsin and Jaheira recognize 😭
The first time Astarion is genuinely tweaking out at something in camp Gale is off to the side with his dictionary like
Absolutely. Except Gale would know all the words that man reads poetry. I imagine he would try to join in speaking in the oldy timey style and get it just slightly wrong enough that it's incredibly cringe and Astarion would never let him live it down. (Affectionate) (Dont mind me I'm bloodweavepilled)
Don't hide these in the tags. I NEED Astarion misusing slang and causing 30 mental damage to everyone in camp simultaneously.
Cazador is so unintentionally hilarious. "You think me a fool? That I would allow anyone to usurp me, speak the words, and ascend in my place?" Babe you are on your knees half-dead and quivering like a leaf. You aren't disallowing SHIT.
Gale: Say the word and I'll go :( Never to bother you lot again :( Astarion, like a dad finally getting the chance to get rid of the pain in the ass family pet: Perfect! Blip on the horizon it is! Go on! Get! Tav, arms crossed: :/ Try again Astarion, long sighing: ...I mean. We're in this together... don't go... don't put our safety above your need for company... stay here... you and your bomb...
I love him but also the sheer amount of times I've wanted to grab Astarion by the shoulders and be like.
I'm lyingggg! I'm a fucking liarrrrr. Don't shake your damn head at me.
"You'd drink poison just because some healer asked you to?"
Like no honey but I would claim I was going to when she's standing there staring me down with a sharp ass poisonous stick in the middle of *her* quarters in *her* grove.
Gale: If worst comes to worst, I'll find somewhere remote to perish. Perhaps the deepest pit of the underdark.
Tav, who is three steps away from said location: For the last time we are NOT window shopping for your location of death.
Snooping around Elminster's wiki page and. Congrats man, didn't realize you were rocking with the LGBTQ+. What an icon.
I love Halsin because end game him is him going "I love my dozen kids. Do you have any bedtime stories I can share with them? Want a hug? Oh, another hug? Absolutely, my friend." while beginning of game him is him sitting, smoking a pipe behind a desk covered with various dissected body parts going "Yeah I don't really care what you think about my decisions involving the grove, if I'm being real." What a dynamic king.
Btw no Gale moment will ever top him hearing Rolan talk about his apprenticeship with Lorroakan and immediately being like "Wait. Isn't that guy a total quack?"