drink to bones that turn to dust

Elliot (alternately, Bones) || she/her || Canadian-American in Texas. Cis panro grayce... I think. Started out an aesthetics reblogger but more social discourse and shitposts, these days. Occasional fandom stuff (tma, ofmd, taz). Technically been here since 2010 but I still have no idea how this hellsite works.

[coffee-without-anesthetics]

BORN TO IGNORE NOTIFICATIONS MEMORY IS A FUCK ショートメール Forget them all 2025 I am didn't reply man 454 157 892 348 UNREAD MESSAGES

[athelind]

The Most Tumblr Punchline

I've noted before that my favorite punchline on Tumblr is "hang on, gotta look something up/okay that's funny."

Let me explain why:

It is a way to say "I don't get it" without blaming the joke or the teller.

It is a tacit admission of ignorance without shame or judgement.

It assumes responsibility for acquiring the knowledge the respondent doesn't already have.

It cues other people who Don't Get It to do the look-up themselves, allowing them to get that full impact of Getting It without derailing the post with explanations.

It gives subsequent readers, whether or not THEY got the joke, a little frisson of good feelings when they realize that someone else is now In On The Joke.

It not only makes the original joke funnier, it gets funnier the more often it's used.

[embervoices]

This, and You Are One Of Today's Lucky 10,000 are very much things I love about Tumblr culture, yes!

[temporalreverie]

anyone have that picture with the 100 pool toy baltos. Its like a modern terracotta army

[temporalreverie]

THEY SHALL PROTECT MY MAUSOLEUM

[shark-tranny]

earth worm, fire ant, water buffalo

what is the elusive wind animal

[tonsimonsi]

wind turbine

[shark-tranny]

yeah you win

[lilytad]

when someone is a christian they are not constantly asked their position on the holocaust the transatlantic slave trade the extermination of native americans or any of the thousands of atrocities committed by christians so why do muslims get asked about terrorism and jewish people about israel and are grouped in with specific bad people while christians are not required to explain themselves??

[lilytad]

goyim and non muslims can and should reblog

[lilytad]

[christians and all sectors of christianity that means you]

[asteronomical]

the funny thing about gracerocky with oblivious grace is that rocky is absolutely going through it. like he'd be thinking, "is leaky space blob STUPID, question? rocky try eridian courting. NO WORK! rocky try human courting. NO WORK EITHER! rocky try confessing. TRANSLATOR NOT TRANSLATE PROPERLY. 🎵🎵🎶🎵🎶!!!"

also i just know rocky is seething whenever he tries to talk about his feelings but the translator spits out some crude, chewed-up oversimplification of his confession that can still be reasonably construed as platonic. which grace absolutely does.

rocky: you are half of me, and i want us to be so inexplicably intertwined that it's hard to tell where i end and where you begin. love is too small of a word to encompass the depth of what i feel for you

translator: rocky love grace

grace: aw buddy i love you too!

[goldenaltar]

concept: no astrophage au where eridians and humans still make first contact but like, properly. a whole diplomatic mission meeting in the middle of space to save travel time. stratt is humanity's greatest representation. the eridian equivalent is equally as scary and secretly soft. it's all very star trek.

but rocky and grace put the whole diplomacy thing in jeopardy by being too best buddy with it. like they're both really low level members of the mission. some engineer necessary for ship maintenance, and an obligatory molecular biologist they brought along in case they found more alien cells out in space. and these two guys like, somehow keep ending up hanging out essentially "at the back of the classroom." consistently left out of the actually important negotiations, and well, they're bored!

grace steals some laptops and starts jury-rigging his own personal translator for rocky, despite the fact that the official translation software is way quicker to learn and much more nuanced. rocky starts learning english, simplifies his eridian, and immediately starts mocking grace for needing the software. they start blabbing to each other about all the weird quirks of their respective cultures and advanced science their planets can do. the whole time they are ribbing each other about culture stuff. grace eats in front of rocky. rocky forces grace to sleep in a corridor somewhere so he can keep watch.

then stratt and the eridian leader find out and it's like

stratt: you. you've been meeting in private with a member of the eridian deligation?

grace: ... yyyes.

stratt: and you shared with them classified scientific documents?

grace: i... maybe gave him. a laptop. he's so smart! what was i supposed to do?

stratt: HIM? you've assigned male pronouns to a genderless species?

grace: he said he likes to match!

stratt: do you even know the name of this eridian?!

grace: i call him rocky :)

stratt: 😰

then on rocky's side of things it's like

eridian leader: sorry did you say you called the human after one of its digestive noises?

rocky: yeah :)

eridian leader: and. you've been telling it about how to make xenonite. one of our most vital trading resources.

rocky: yes yes, grace is very ignorant about basic chemistry 🙄

eridian leader: right. and you watch it sleep. despite the fact that all the human beings we have spoken to have described this as a cultural violation?

rocky: well he didn't like it at first but he came around!!

anyway both sides of the delegation are sweating profusely (metaphorically speaking) until they see rocky and grace in action and are like ohh! they're both freaks. we are not to blame for this. these two are just really bad at navigating cultural norms.

cut to grace curled up with rocky while he sleeps like a baby.

[autoenucleate]

hate it when people call ada lovelace the first female programmer, when in reality she was the first programmer ever. she wrote programs for a machine before it was ever constructed

[andthepeople]

what if they get back to erid only for grace to discover that rocky has like. a crazy rap sheet. extensive eridian criminal record. he's stolen everything it's possible to steal. there was a huge brouhaha when he got elected to the petrova line mission because it's basically like if danny ocean had been really really good at fixing shit and so they decided to send him to the moon. he's been arrested approximately 12,000 times for public indecency. grace is like (still not over the clothes thing) so i'm NOT the only guy you like to be fully naked around. i see how it is. and rocky has to reform his image and only do his nudist thing around grace to save his bug marriage. the fact that he came back from space married to a bug is somehow entirely unsurprising to the entire planet, who mostly assumed he'd stolen the blip-A and made off with it and that was why no one came back for 50 years. grand theft spaceship. grace visiting rocky's cave like wow cool jewel artwork or whatever and rocky's like yes yes. if anyone asks you've never seen it.

[whydidisavethistomyphone]

[its-timego]

Imagine the surreal insanity of being Irina Petrova and just hanging out having a hobby that you're very intense about and then you notice something weird and then all at once your name is one of the most uttered in history, by total accident. In the movie universe they describe her as a "radio telescope enthusiast" she does not even do this professionally. And suddenly everything is Petrova line, Petrova frequency, Petrova wavelength, Petrovascope, Petrova Task Force, Petrova problem. And you're like man. I have a day job.

[beardedmrbean]

[doomtemparts]

one of my friends in a discord server was talking about how they were nervous about their first scheduled acupuncture appointment. another friend offered to do a tarot reading for them. sent this picture.

[eggsaladstain]

GO OFF BESTIE

Source

[liberalsarecool]

[1st-1]

[virtualgirladvance]

me and my [untranslatable] saw you from across the milky way

[eccebitch]

[fabricandcircuits]

Peer reviewed tags wonderfully said

[raptorific]

[poprocksromance]

A cautionary tale about the growing literacy crisis