deeply disturbed by strawberry jam

I draw and stuff Any prounouns work, but especially he/they sammie/salmon/owen If you have any requests for what i should draw, send me them!! You can use any of my art as long as you tell me and credit me!!!

[edgy-little-pancake]

ok!! so, felt like i should put this info in a post so i don’t have to keep saying it

-this is my reblog blog, which was named in early middle school. At this point I'm too attached to change the name, no matter how stupid it is<3

-it also technically my main

-the blog I use for my fandom posts is @ghost-of-kelp !! Currently focused on Dispatch

-the blog i use as my main is @drowning-seahorse. aka non fandom shitposts and my top-tier cream of the crop reblogs (mainly info I want to find again)

-i have too many sideblogs. There are I believe 9 in total. The only one that matters is @socially-awkward-pancake, which was a failed attempt at a main blog that turned into a reblog blog pt. 2

[b0nkcreat]

i'm your only friend (realizes that's statistically unlikely) i'm not your only friend (considers my positive qualities) but i'm a little glowing friend (suddenly gets cold feet) but really i'm not actually your friend (remembers to be confident in relationships) but i am

[krakenartificer]

Higgledy piggledy, olden French bakery storing its loaves in a double-doored shed.

Inspector approaching the inner door op'ning to find a cow casu'lly licking the bread.

[stupidrehab]

that’s just my nightstand knife don’t worry

[drowning-seahorse]

I HATE DIET CULTURE !!!!!!!!!! I HATE WEIGHTLOSS DRUGS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GET FAT GET FAT GET FAT!!!!!!!!

[crabussy]

hi everyone. do yourself a favour and go create a beautiful horse for me

[wizardarchetypes]

Everyone do this RIGHT now.

[mananabuffins]

I got halfway through drawing a horse when i went "holy shit i dont know what a horse looks like" and laughed so hard i cried

[frogeye-pierce]

She is rash

She is unrepentant

From the book “The Best of LIFE (magazine)” 1975

[televisionenjoyer]

My problem is that I have betrayed everything that I am for phone in bed

[officeshelpdesk]

The woke mob has made Santa gay! Mrs Claus has been replaced with a 5'8 twink named Tony Tinsel

[enemy-viv-deactivated20240228]

[sourcreammachine]

i’m sorry kink fans but i just can’t see the suffix ‘con’ without thinking it means convention

‘dubcon’ will skrillex be there??

[sourcreammachine]

oh no oh no please not this post please

[wynnyfryd]

reblog to get your bones rattled at the dubious convention

[m0nomercy]

HR hates to see it coming

[weenhands-deactivated20250319]

i’m okay with change and i’m fine if things are no longer the same i embrace change

[grfld45]

.That Judge Judy Pussy grip insane. You be calling her Judith on the second stroke.

[juggsjudyofficial]

My grip will rip your junk off, chew it up, and spit it back at you.

[ozzenstach]

[judgejudyofficial]

you either deactivate young or live long enough to see a mirror dimension version of your account kill indiscriminately on the dashboard

[grfld54]

Imagine how I feel

[saturnialsapphic]

[charlesoberonn]

Concept: Depressing dystopian factory where everything is gray and samey and the workers are called by their employee numbers by an ominous deep voice.

But it's a really great place to work with high salaries, excellent benefits, and a flexible working schedule with plenty of paid leave. They just like the dystopian aesthetic.

[charlesoberonn]

PA system: Worker 72094. Leave your working station and report to the Supervisor immediately.

Supervisor: Worker 72094. You failed to meet your quota for 3 weeks in a row now.

Worker 72094: I can explain!

Supervisor: You're clearly burned out. I heard you moved recently. Take a mandatory two weeks paid vacation to readjust and report to me then.

Worker 72094: I... thank you?

[charlesoberonn]

Shadowy Board Member: Worker 11335. Do you know why you were summoned?

Worker 11335: Is it because I badmouthed the company during lunch?

Shadowy Board Member: That is correct. We are very displeased, Worker 11335...

Shadowy Board Member: ...with ourselves, that is. We hold ourselves to high standards of excellence which we clearly failed to meet. We were hoping you could advise us on necessary improvements. You will receive appropriate compensation, of course.

[charlesoberonn]

Job Interviewer: *wearing a featureless mask and speaking through a voice changer* Welcome to Hopeless Inc., Worker 100100.

Worker 100100: What's with the mask?

Job Interviewer: I'm shy 🤭

[charlesoberonn]

Of course. All Hopeless Inc. employees are due-paying members of Mindless Drones United.

It's a very responsive union that cares about its members on an individual level. They just love the dystopian hivemind aesthetic.

[ilovemywife103947]

imagine cloth mother and wire mother in family court competing for custody of the baby monkey

[clothmotherofficial]

I Have Softness For You

[officialwiremother]

i have milk for you

[babymonkeyofficial]

Stop.

[kingsolomonofficial]

Cut the baby monkey in half

[fatmasc]

Hey i’m a fashion design student so i have tons and tons of pdfs and docs with basic sewing techniques, pattern how-tos, and resources for fabric and trims. I’ve compiled it all into a shareable folder for anyone who wants to look into sewing and making their own clothing. I’ll be adding to this folder whenever i come across new resources

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/16uhmMb8kE4P_vOSycr6XSa9zpmDijZSd?usp=sharing

[fatmasc]

Updated just now with new hand sewing resources (mainly buttonholes) and textbook pdfs on fashion history, fashion illustration, and thinking through designs!

[bosstoaster]

OP I owe you my life

[whatchamacallitz]

OP you are the greatest person currently in my life. You beautiful, thoughtful creature.

[teapotofbees]

A true blessing

[jackkdaniels]

stupid thing about me is I don’t cut corners but I also have no work ethic. if I do something it WILL be done right. no telling whether I’ll actually fucking do it tho

[electricpentacle]

Ah, the fatal combination of having pride in my work but fuckall executive functioning.

[underthehedge]

It's rude to come into my house and assault me like that and some day I may or may not have my revenge. But mark my words, if I do, you will rue the day. You're probably in no danger though.