DyingToBeUnderstood

[duchess006]

I'm literally crying over an imaginary scenario I made up in my head wtf

[duchess006]

I'm an adult, but with the emotional stability of a 4yo

[duchess006]

Happy fathers Day for the biggest daddies alive

[duchess006]

I'm not posting this for pity, I just wanna know who else share this feeling with me.

Why do I have this feeling that I don't have the right to express my feelings because I'm unattractive? I always feel that after being angry or upset at something.

It's like there's always this feeling in my chest telling me to just suck it up.

Does anyone relate?

Does anyone have an explanation or a solution?

Edit: Also, it includes feeling like I don't deserve romantic relationships and wouldn't be in one ever because of my features.

[duchess006]

Watched Red Rocket (2021)

And I was kinda disappointed. It's not like I expected anything romantic. However, I was waiting for a much deeper ending, which was a mistake, because the movie is clearly a comedy. I wished we got more from the outcomes of Mickey's doings, and maybe we see Raylee realize how much of a loser he actually is. Anyway, the colors are so pretty, I was so in love with the visuals until Simon Rex ,aka Mickey Saber, flashed me with his ding-dong, I'm traumatized.

Note: Also, Simon Rex is so fucking hot, I would've fallen in love with him if he hadn't played a fucking groomer.

[satinmelancholy]

[duchess006]

Dang it, I'm so addicted to social media, so addicted that I waste days just doomscrolling, I can't even do shit without spending hours on Spotify or Youtube, trying to find something to listen to.

A week off social media is helpful, I think. The problem is, I don't think that I'm mentally ready for all of that.

[duchess006]

Guess what I did? Deactivated most of my social media accounts (Tiktok, Instagram) and deleted Snapchat (Couldn't deactivate my acc), and I already achived what I wanted.

I left Tumblr and Twitter because I don't use them that much anyway.

[duchess006]

Dang it, I'm so addicted to social media, so addicted that I waste days just doomscrolling, I can't even do shit without spending hours on Spotify or Youtube, trying to find something to listen to.

A week off social media is helpful, I think. The problem is, I don't think that I'm mentally ready for all of that.

[duchess006]

Watching the last episode of Grand Army, the fuck us Leila doing? I don't know how to explain this, but do y'all know that feeling when someone is so fucked up that it's incomprehensible and confusing?

It also applies to the fucking r4p1sts, they're just as fucked up, if not worse.

Big hugs for Joe and Dom. They definitely deserve better.

Edit: What the fuck, I need s2

[duchess006]

CUT MY BANGS SHORTER THAN THE LAST TIME!

People I'm blaming:

Women mentioned, from left to right: (Dakota Johnson, Sarah Taibah, Reem Alsanea, Sabrina Carpenter)

[duchess006]

The fact that I'm turning 20 this year is so weird, because I still feel like I have the emotional maturity and the critical thinking of an 8yo. I feel like I'm so fragile and no one would ever understand it, how can I keep living and deal with this alone my whole life?

I'd really appreciate a fucking hug, but I hate physical closeness.

[duchess006]

Halfway through Ep 5 from Grand Army, this is straight up disturbing and sad, I turly wish Joey a happy ending because no one should go through that.

But Anna's massage was awful, your friend got r4p3d, got the courage to press charges, and your first thing you do next was sending that massage, although I'm 60% sure she doesn't actually know what happened.

Also, I hate George and Luke, I disliked them from Ep1.

[duchess006]

Barely two eps into Grand Army and I already hate this bitch. Why is she so insufferable?

[duchess006]

I'm obsessed with her, I swear she looks unreal.

[duchess006]

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE 🩵❄️☃️✨️

[duchess006]

I hate how messy, undisciplined, and time-wasting I am. I can't believe that I've been telling myself this for almost four years now but I haven't changed a bit! I'm only being worse with each passing day!

Edit: Today is my first final, wish me luck.

[duchess006]

Whenever I try to do something useful with my life, there is always a Turkey Tom video that keeps me glued to my phone like some toddler, I'm obsessed with commentary videos, especially Turkey Tom's. I, sometimes, even try to fall asleep while they're playing in the background, which isn't a flex, just wanna say this because I want to, even though I don't think that not being able to sit in silence is a good thing, you have to be comfortable with the "uncomfortableness" of silence in the air.

Anyway, going to study, wish me luck.