he loves getting fucked up with you. youre awesome, hot, you like him, and you can toke. total dream chick.
he's always at least a little faded. its the first thing he does when he wakes up and he keeps it going throughout the day. when he finally gets around to seeing you hes all dopey and sweet. hes cute when hes mellowed out.
you never have to do a thing if he has anything to do with it. he rolls your guy's joints, packs the pipe to share, lights the bong for you while you puff. he loves seeing the way you melt when you exhale. seeing it hit you.
the nights he spends kissing you between bong rips are his favorite. absolutely out of your minds and fusing into one another. draping arms over and around each other. heads dipping in and catching lips in quick, soft kisses. tongues slipping against each others. tasting the smoke on each others lips.
sometimes itd go further. youd lost count of how many times he'd fucked you on that couch. stopping to take a riff of whatever, leaning down to blow it into your mouth while he worked you open. his moans would be low, sweet. digging his face into your neck, your hair. "Mmph... s'perfect, baby.. feel s'good.." the high made you so intoxicating. you were everything.
you guys didnt plan on living this way forever, but for right now it got you by. you wouldnt trade the reek of weed on his skin for anything.
notes: immediately thought of these pics for this req oml.. i luv u '07 gerard. sorry this took a long time to post, I still feel like im shit at writing hhg.. hope you enjoy, thank you for being paitent with me. (muah)
warnings: angst beginning- smoking, arguing, cursing, gerard is a dick, he says shit he doesn't mean. crying, groveling, heartbreak (ish), pet names. unprotected sex, gerard is very whiny and cries during sex. ...that might be it?
word count: 3.5k
he was all you could think about during your shift. the movie night that awaits you later on with your boyfriend. every time it came to your mind, a small smile would come to your lips. a warm tingle would sparkle throughout your nerves.
and luckily enough, your boss had let you leave early. which meant more time with gerard, which was where you headed. straight to his place.
approaching the front door of gerard's apartment, you slowed in your tracks. furrowing your brow as you began to smell..
cigarettes?
no one on gerard's floor smokes. you knew his next door neighbor, she was a lovely elderly women. took care of her two little kittens and made cookies. too sweet for something so damaging, really.
pausing outside the front door, spare key in hand, your nose wrinkles as the stench grows stronger. assaulting to your senses, and your intuition speaks before your mind does.
he's smoking again..
but you act like you didn't hear it. pretend like you couldn't feel it in your bones. you assure yourself that you can't know for sure until you go inside. besides, gerard promised you he was quitting for good.
you both knew how things would turn in your relationship every time you spent quality time together, or.. were supposed to, anyways. he would get uninterested, would just wanna go off and smoke his cigarettes, and be completely dismissive of how you felt.
it had always made you feel like you were just some inconvenience to your boyfriend, every time. and it crushed you inside, like a hammer knicking precisely at glass. chipping away the fragile shards.
so to save yourselves, he promised you he would quit, for good this time. since all the other times were complete bullshit in the past..
you steel yourself, feeling the way the air fills your lungs, before you quickly exhale it due to the nasty reek of burning ash. you shake your head, trying to tell yourself he's not. he wouldn't go back on his promise.
but you know that you're wrong.
you put the key into the lock, twisting it as the cogs inside make a soft rattle in compliance to your entry, allowing you inside when pushing open the door.
the deep whiff of stuffy smoke, burning ashy metals hits you like a bucket of cold water dunked over your head. you groan quietly to yourself while shutting the door behind you.
you could see him stood out on the balcony, facing towards the bustling city alone. and accompanying him, is the soft trickle of gray smoke drifting softly into the air and blowing with the window.
you knew it. even though you wished you didn't.
earning a determined step in yourself, you approach the balcony door, seeming he hadn't heard you enter in the front door just moments ago. you push the sliding door open and speak up to shake him from his reverie.
“are you kidding me?”
“shit..! baby, what are you doing here so soon?” gerard startles, jolting softly in his spot where he stands and quickly flicks the burning bud of ash away and stubs out the stick on the handrail of the balcony. “I thought you would be here at seven?”
“you are such a liar..!” you say, looking at him in pure disbelief.
“what? no- come on, honey, it's not what you think!-”
“oh, it isn't, is it? what the fuck is that in your hand then, gerard?” you ask him, stepping onto the balcony to stub the stick under your shoe.
“hey, what the fuck..?!” gerard retorts in response.
“oh, it's nothing but you react like that when I put it out for good?” you scoff in response, lifting your head to look at him once more.
“I can't believe you fucking lied to me!” you say, “you can forget about our date tonight.” you shake your head, heading back into his apartment to head straight back for the door.
“babe, wait..! come on, let's just talk about this, okay? you're being unreasonable,” gerard says as he follows you into the house. “what are you even doing here so early in the first place?”
you whip around to face him, looking at him like he's batshit crazy. “unreasonable? you promised me you were done for good, gee!” you say, your voice beginning to rise now.
“I am quitting for good, y/n! I told you I was!” gerard replies back, his tone rising to meet yours.
“then what the fuck was that just then? a candy cigarette? oh yeah, real cheap, gerard.” you scoff in response.
“oh, stop..! don't get fucking cocky with me. it was my last one, I was done after that! you didn't need to go and stub it out like that.” gerard argues back, his brow furrowing in displeasure at your attitude.
“if you were done why are you so upset about me putting it out for you?” you ask in response, crossing your arms over your chest. “do you have more that I don't know about?”
“what? no..! I just told you that was my last one!” gerard repeats back to you. “why were you even here so early? we agreed to our movie at 7, y/n, it's like 6:15.”
“I got off work early- why do you keep asking? why is it a problem, because you don't want me to catch you smoking?” you accuse him.
“no, that's not-”
“If that's not it then why were you so freaked when I caught you? if that wasn't it, you wouldn't have just asked me four times, gerard..!” you cut him off.
“see, this is the problem with you..! you don't even let me explain myself, I told you that I'm quitting!” gerard retorts back.
“problem with me?” you echo in disbelief, “problem with me? what about your fucking problem with cigarettes..?!” you say, your voice rising to a yell now. “I only ask one thing of you and you can't even do it!”
“don't act like you don't know it's hard for me to quit them, if I could I would!” gerard yells back.
“oh, so you do have more then, since you're using plural?” you ask in return. “where's the rest then, huh? do you have a pack or something hiding around?”
“I told you no, can you ever just drop things and let them go, y/n? it was my last one, I swear I'm done smoking-”
“you say that every time and you never actually stop smoking! stop lying to me, stop making promises you can't keep, gerard!-”
“I only started smoking again because of you!”
you faintly gasp, whatever you had ready to hurl at him in retaliation of some excuse he was ready to throw to you, now completely forgotten.
the regret shoots through gerard like a stake in his back as soon as he says it. his throat momentarily closing up, eyes gently widening just a fragment in reaction to his own words. he hadn't meant to say that.
he hadn't even meant it at all. it was just the hot broil of his anger talking for him.
“baby..” gerard says, seeing the tears form within your eyes as you stare at him, the knife in your heart twisting where it hurts most now that his words have struck you.
you couldn't even muster in anything in response. how could you? what would you even say? ..was there anything to even be said at all?
with a turn of your heel, you face the door and twist the knob, “come on, y/n, please I didn't-”
his words are cut off by the slam of his own front door.
tears blur your vision as you manage to navigate your way through the busy roads, handing gripping the steering wheel tightly enough to turn your knuckles white. “fucking… piece of shit liar!” you whimper to yourself, sniffling and trying to wipe your tears away to see the road easier.
when you got home, your keys were thrown aside carelessly as you slammed the door behind you. Turning the lock as it clangs softly in the cogs before stomping off to your bedroom, sobs beginning to escape you.
“I knew it..! I knew it, I knew he wasn't gonna quit. that fucking liar!” you sob, slamming the door and tossing the nearest object aside without a care. emotions surging through your veins, too overwhelming in their need to burst like a pressured dam.
“I swear, I'm gonna quit this time baby.” you mock his words through your tears as you sit on your bed, “I wanna focus on us, I'm throwing my cigarettes away.” you recite his empty platitudes, feeling stupid for believing them. “fuck you and fuck your cigarettes, asshole! god, fuck-” you choke through your cries.
“what am I gonna do if this keeps happening? this problem with him keeps ruining everything between us..” you whimper softly to yourself. “is this what a failing relationship feels like?” you ask faintly, wiping your flushed cheeks of their tears. “god, I hope not.. I love him so much, I just wish he would stop.”
“why won't he stop, what is wrong with him?!” you cry out, turning over as you lay down to bury your face into your pillow, staining it with your heart ache.
soon to be lead into sleep from the exhaustion of your emotions.
knocking. it stirs you awake, feeling grouchy and disoriented. what time is it? how long have you been asleep? when did you even fall asleep in the first place?
softly groaning, you sit up and check the time as you adjust your clothes. 12:46 A.M. who the hell was at your door during this hour?
you rub your eyes while swinging your legs over the edge of the bed, standing up a little unsteady as you drowsily make your way to the front door. “okay, okay..” you mutter under your breath as the knocking continues consistently. you pause near the front door.
sniffling, practically.. groveling.
uneven and choked up crying from the other side of the thick oak, you furrow a brow, turning the lock and peeking through the small opening. your eyes widen and you open the door all the way.
gerard.
“baby- oh my god.. I'm- I'm so sorry- didn't.. didn't mean to ruin things between us. I'm.. I- I'm such an idiot, fuck..” he whimpers to you through his tears, sniveling for your forgiveness.
he looks at you, his eyes are bloodshot and puffy and his cheeks are flushed a scarlet red from the overwhelming guilt burning in his chest. his nose is tinted a soft pink as he snorts and whimpers through his tears, he grabs your hands.
“please, please- forgive me. I'm sorry, I'm sorry baby, you're so important to me- I don't wanna lose you. please-” he begs you through his tears.
“gee, it's okay–” he cuts you off with a desperate kiss, his lips pressing firmly against yours as he pulls you in close to him, hands lifting to grab your shoulders instead to keep you held to him.
despite the initial shock, you return his kiss as eyes fluttered shut. he faintly gasps through his tears between kisses, eager to show you just how sorry he was. “‘m sorry.. so sorry, babe..” he murmurs against your mouth, teeth gently scraping against yours through his words.
he steps forward into your apartment, shutting the door behind him with a light kick of his shoe. starting to back you up towards your bedroom.
warm hands slowly pull off your shirt, sniffles interrupting the soft breaths between kisses. tears are warm against your cheeks as his emotions continue to flow through him. he breaths the kiss only briefly to tug off his jacket and shirt himself.
he continues to move you by walking forward, until the back of your knees breach the edge of your bed. lying down, hovering over you, he starts to work at your pants. you had fallen asleep in your clothes from earlier, too swamped from your hurt of betrayal previously to have even bothered changing in pajamas when you had gotten home.
“I'm sorry baby, I hope you know that. hope you believe that- please forgive me.. I'll make it up to you. I'll make you feel better. I'll love you until the morning, just please- please don't–” gerard blubbers through his river of tears, unable to stop his guilt from consuming him entirely.
but you cut him off in a kiss again as he pops the button of your jeans, the zipper hissing softly as he tugs it down. he tugs them down, leaving you in just your panties as he struggles to take off his own jeans.
but once they're off, he's on you.
the growing bulge trapped inside his underwear presses against the soft crotch of your panties. hips gently rocking against yours, almost timidly. like he thinks you'll push him off, and he thinks he deserves it after lying to you.
“gee..” your murmur against his lips as his hands map you out within the dark shroud of your bedroom, the moonlight softly bathing over your tangled forms.
“I know, I got you baby. I'm sorry.. I'm.. I'm gonna take care of you.” he promises in soft stammers against your lips, his vocals shaking with remorse.
he reaches underneath you, fingertips squirming to try and unclasp your bra. you arch your back to help him as his wet mouth trails down to your jaw, peppering over your neck and sucking on your collarbone.
he pulls back to admire you, tears welling up in his eyes again. you've never seen him on such an emotional wreck, like the need for pleasure and to earn your forgiveness is too much to handle.
you moan as you feel his calloused hand cup one breast and his soft lips wrap around your nipple of the other.
softly whimpering, feeling the damp patch on your panties grow soggy under gerard's undulating hips. lean fingers slip under the waistband of your panties, while the other hand continues fondling your breast.
he rolls the hardened bud of your nipple between his teeth, sending shivers down your spine straight to your core. nimble fingertips rub swift, firm circles over the swelling nub of your clit, coaxing moans from your sweet lips.
“aghh.. ah, gee..” you mewl softly, hips gently lifting up into his touch, aching for more.
“yeah, let me take care of you.. you want more?” gerard mutters around your nipple, lifting his head with a soft pop to look up at your flushed expression.
“yes.. yes, please–” you whine softly.
“shhh, sh.. I got you.” gerard assures, sitting back slightly, pulling his hands away from your body to assess you further, he pulls down the wet fabric of your underwear, taking in the sight of your arousal. he almost drools.
“you're so beautiful.. always so beautiful..” gerard whimpers softly, his throat closing up with the threat of his tears again. his fingers delve through your glossy folds, watching them part open for him.
“I'm gonna make it all better, I promise.” he vows shakily, looking up at your impatient expression as he pops his jeans, zipper hissing softly in anticipation as he lowers it.
your eyes widen as his cock springs free from his underwear. it's thick and pulsating, extended from a burrow of soft curls nesting over his balls. you can see the veins protruding from under his sensitive flesh. his plush tip is swollen, beading with pre-cum.
you've seen it plenty of times, and each time it makes your mouth water and get all antsy in your skin to get a feel of it. you open your legs wider for him, beckoning his attention.
gerard lays his hands on your thighs, keeping them held open for him, his heavy length aligned with your folds, rubbing through them lightly. the formed ring that blooms his mushroom shaped cockhead teasing against your clit with every soft grind.
unable to take the torture, having already put you through enough in one night than you ever deserved, he sheathes himself inside of you until he bottoms out. a moan escaping his lips, head tilting back.
your head falls back against the pillows, moans colliding with his in the air. gerard blubbers softly, tears of pleasure and guilt consuming him completely as he begins to sob while starting to move after little time to adjust.
you feel stretched, filled deliciously in a way that only your boyfriend could ever provide for you. the thought of ever having to lose such an experience if your relationship failed makes you want to cry with him. it was too good to even consider not having anymore.
you knew you forgave him once he breached inside you.
you cry his name, and he cries legitimately. “agh, fuck..!” gerard whines softly, “fuck, I love you so much baby,” he cuts himself off in a gasp, pleasure spiking up his spine as he drives into you over and over again.
“god, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..” he snorts through his sobs, leaning down over you. he swipes his tongue into your mouth, his tears and snot wetting your face. your bodies lightly shaking from the force of his quick and eager thrusts. begging for your forgiveness in their desperation.
“mgh, love you s'much..” he chokes against your lips through his crying.
“love you too..” you assure him breathlessly, holding him against you in gripping his shoulder blades, nails digging into his skin. it makes him mewl into your mouth, tongue wrapping and tangling with yours.
he licks over your teeth and against the roof of your mouth, before withdrawing. his face hiding into your collarbone as he grips the sheets, fucking you with the most might he can muster. “ahh, fuck.. feel so good, baby..”
“haa- ah.. ah, gee..” you moaned, back arching. your hips faintly start to buck, trying to fit him in deeper as if that was even possible by this point.
“shit, yes.. take me, baby. take my cock..” he grunts into your shoulder, whimpering shakily. so focused on the pleasure and overwhelmed by his soft sobs and moans, he doesn't even realize how pathetic he must sound for you.
“fuck, fuck, fuck.. god, i wanna cum.. wanna cum so badly..” he cries through his words, hips undulating as his pulsating cock drags in your walls, his mushroom cockhead lightly brushing over your cervix with every thrust in attempt to bury himself inside of you as deep as he can.
“oh fuck..!” you moan breathlessly, nails raking down his skin and making him groan, “right there, gee..! right there!” you whine to him, your body tensing like a bow pulled tight while your stomach rolls in pleasure from your quick breaths.
“come on, let me feel you cum.. wanna feel you milk it right from my cock..!” gerard says, snuffing from his assaulted senses of tears, snot, and absolute ecstasy radiating in his dick. he slams into you harder, trying to steal the orgasm from you.
and that, he does.
screaming his name, your silky wet walls quiver and kiss around his cock as your orgasm slams into you. your thighs shaking against his hips, any thought leaving you in replacement for the pure blissful euphoria rolling in your body, juices gushing around his length.
gerard mewls through his sobs at the same time, your gooey walls sucking around his cock, trying to utter the cum from his balls is his undoing. he hilts inside of you one final time, his heavy sack clapping against your ass in a finish as his seed sprays your walls, making them soggy with his potent release.
his hips jerk and jolt in soft twitches from the intensity of your shared orgasms, before he collapses breathlessly on top of you, his sweaty weight covering over you. chest heaving against yours, head now resting on your shoulder rather ran partially stuffed into the pillow.
he slowly begins to soften inside of you, as your convulsions around him start to simmer and calm. his tears come to a gentle stop, only his sniffles mingling in the air with heavy breaths. the scent of sweat and sex is mixed inside your bedroom.
“I'm sorry, baby.. I love you.” gerard murmurs softly, quickly growing exhausted from the burden of his guilt. he presses a tender kiss against your mouth, lips soft and pillowy against yours. he tries his best to stay awake, knowing he'll have to pull out eventually and clean you both up.
it's almost like you forgot why you were ever upset with him at all in the first place. well.. almost, that is. maybe you wouldn't forget, but you would definitely forgive him. knowing that heavy talk could wait until the morning, you just smile and gently rake your fingers into his hair. you gently itch the back of his scalp in those weak spots you know he loves and softly whisper to him,
Linking some of my favorite old MCR footage since my last post did really well (I'm gonna keep coming back and editing this):
(edit: I finally found it oh my god) 2002 live at Passaic, New Jersey performing Skylines and Turnstiles, this was before Frank joined the band (Pencey Prep performed at the same venue, Gerard did backup vocals at 9:50)
early 2002 when Frank just joined the band, op thinks it might have only been their 20th show
2002 at Maxwells, The only performance that Gerard and Mikey's grandmother attended before her passing
One of the 16 times they actually played Drowning Lessons live
2003 show in Kansas City, front barricade view
2003 show in Chicago
2003 live recording of Vampires (also this footage pretty sure it's at a different venue but recorded by the same guy)
2003 Iowa performance (demolition lovers was in the setlist)
2003 Demolition Lovers performance in Philly
2003 Sayreville, New Jersey, (full show here but quality isn't as good)
2003 Orangeville, California, highlights include demolition lovers, drowning lessons (prob the last time they performed it live given they said they wouldn't perform it anymore that same month), and a demo of I never told you what I do for a living
2003 in New Brunswick, New Jersey performance, (the one where Gerard said they wouldn't perform drowning lessons, cubicles, or early sunsets)
2004 live at Launch of I'm Not Okay, prob one of their most chaotic sessions, favorite part is 0:25 where's Ray jamming out then it cuts to Frank vibrating like crazy
The 2004 at Vintage Vinyl one (also the only one I've found of Gerard singing the keys to the hotel part in Prison live, his screams here are also really good)
A live recording in 2004 of just Prison, ending screams sounds really close to how Gee did it in the studio version imo
Another 2004 Prison live recording (can you tell I really like this song) WITH Bert McCracken, Bert's mic was louder than Gerard's for some reason even though he's supposed to be backup (also different clip, same venue where they performed Honey)
2005 AOL sessions recording, I know this one's pretty popular, this video has all the songs they did in one place (I'm Not Okay, The Ghost of You, You Know What They do to Guys Like us in Prison, Helena) and a few bloopers
Brixton Academy London 2005 Performance (aka MY FAVORITE MCR live performance, both them and the crowd have so much energy, insane setlist)
This performance of Famous Last Words where I think Ray's guitar had sound issues at 3:46 so he just gave the vocals his all
2006 AOL session performance of Famous Last Words, especially love Ray's vocals starting at 3:35, yes I know the quality is terrible but it was the only youtube video of it I could find (here's a higher quality version of it on Tiktok)
2007 performance of Teenagers during Prov Rev, sound quality is ass
Bonus ones (shorter clips)
Frank playing one of Ray's guitar parts in Fashion Statement, and Ray sounding offended lmao (compilation of clips for pre-production of Revenge)
two clips of Frank annoying Ray on stage during Pro Rev
Mikey trying (and failing) to act nonchalant during Gerard's fire alarm moans when performing the Prison intro
Frank and Ray speaking Mandarin, (Ray also did a different phrase here) MCR did a promotion video for Taiwan in 2007 during Chinese New Year (as a Chinese American their pronunciation was endearing, they were definitely trying their best lmao)
whatever tf this was (prob bullets era, Gerard performing tweaking on the floor with his ass out)
Compilation of Gerard and Frank crossing themselves when performing Our Lady of Sorrows
short BTS clip of Gerard during filming of Helena music video
that one danger days show where they invited a fan on stage and she ignored Gerard trying to high five her so she could go hug Frank
Gerard running back and forth on stage (during Pro Rev) while performing House of Wolves
Gerard doing his intro for Prison except he made it super long and he started talking about a story about a dragon or something and Ray was still playing the riff waiting for him to move on, can't find the clip right now but when I do I'll link it here
A/n: this is imagined with a femme reader because I live laugh love butch4femme
★ when she asked you to go to prom with her, she got your favorite flowers, a big poster board with Polaroids of you together taped onto it, and a fun drink for you to sip on for the rest of the day
★ when she took you dress shopping she bought herself a men's dress shirt and black jeans, so most of the day was just her watching you try on different dresses, and she made you do the mandatory twirl™ in every single dress!
★ she has a job so she talked you into letting her pay for everything
★ Frankie would let you do her makeup, but she asked you not to do a LOT... You covered her in glitter of course.
★ you went to the dance, and it was super underwhelming, but you wanted to go to support the art club
★ you ended up leaving early and she drove you to some food place and you ate and made out in her car
★ in the end you ended up listening to a CD she burned for you in her car in the middle of the woods and falling asleep in the backseat with her
