Wifeleaver

Bean | just trying to get bi | 27 | lifeweaver trash | nintendo hell | current hyperfixation: baldurs gate 3 | i promise i don’t hate wyllstarion they’re my favourite bg3 ship

[dusteebowl]

Same Coin

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

it's here! i finished it! bapweaver and yeehan fans rejoice.

summary: hanzo and cole go on a double date with baptiste and niran. they start chatting.

warnings: none

a/n: nothing special, really. a bit of fluff. lots of dialogue. it's all written from hanzo's perspective so...um...there's that.

When Cole had first approached him with the idea, he’d thought he was joking. But now as he looked at himself in the mirror, Hanzo couldn’t help the scowl that was forming on his face.

He was worried that he wouldn’t find something to wear as it had been a long time since he and Cole had gone out on a ‘real’ date. They had outings, sure, but neither of them really felt the need to have the whole ‘sit down fancy dinner and a movie’ thing. Time spent together was more than enough.

So why, at his age, was he even entertaining the idea of something as frivolous and juvenile as a double date?

“Because,” Cole answered at this very question as he straightened his tie. Hanzo hadn't even thought Cole owned ties let alone knew how to wear them, “you needa make friends, darlin’. No man’s an island an’ all that.” Once he was done adjusting his own tie he placed a hand on Hanzo’s shoulder. Hanzo couldn’t help but notice that it was still crooked. “’Sides, me an’ Baptiste go way back. He’s tryna make up for past mistakes.”

What was left unsaid resonated with Hanzo more than he’d like to admit. Cole was hoping they’d connect over the heaviness they felt, that Hanzo would feel as though he wasn’t truly alone when it came to feeling guilt. still…

“There are better ways to make friends than double dates,” Hanzo said gruffly as he readjusted Cole’s tie.

“Perhaps,” the cowboy said knowingly, “but Niran said he’d already made reservations for four.”

He’d made reservations before he even talked to Cole? The new member of Overwatch was as impulsive as he was brilliant it seemed.

“Didn’t anyone tell you if you frowned for too long your face’d get stuck that way?” Cole enquired now with the slightest smile.

“No.”

“Well, this is me, tellin’ you.” Cole gently pried Hanzo’s hands away from his tie. “Darlin’ if you keep frownin’ like that, your face’ll get stuck that way.”

Hanzo could feel his face beginning to blush furiously and he had to look away so Cole wouldn’t see. Even after all this time, his silliness still had an effect on him.

Cole chuckled and gave Hanzo a kiss on the temple.

“It’ll be alright. You’ll see.”

-0O0-

The fantastic restaurant Lifeweaver, sorry, Niran had called it was a Thai restaurant that overlooked the ocean. Hanzo had to admit the view was pretty, amazing even, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that he was out of place. He and Cole didn’t really frequent places like this, after all. Being at home was far more par for the course for them.

“You made it!” Niran said with a bright smile on his face. His long, white hair was done up in a bun, immaculately tied without a strand out of place. His usual attire was replaced with a soft white button-down dress shirt (with a respectable amount of buttons undone, Hanzo thought now). His pants were a baby pink with roses that you could just see if you squinted, made of the finest material. He looked like a fashion model.

Baptiste was next to him and looked just as handsome in his black suit and orange tie. His beard was well groomed and soft looking, and Hanzo couldn’t help but realise this was probably the first time he saw him without his visor.

The two made for an attractive couple. Hanzo couldn’t help but feel a little out of place and he discreetly adjusted his tie.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Cole said, voice like honey. “Thanks for the invitation, Niran.”

“Please, the pleasure is all mine,” Niran said, waving his hand softly before interlocking his arm with Baptiste’s. “Jean and I had wanted to get to know the both of you more, especially after he told me that you gave him a chance despite the…uh…unfortunate circumstances of his previous employment.”

“Think nothing of it,” Cole said. “He ain’t the first I’ve come across who wants to atone for past mistakes, and I’ll be damned if he’s the last.”

“Welcome to the Pink Lotus,” said a woman as they approached the front desk. She was pretty, Hanzo thought, and must have been the hostess. “May I have your name?”

“PruksaManee, Niran,” said the newest member of Overwatch.

A look of recognition crossed the hostess’s face. “Mr. PruksaManee! Right this way.”

It was a minuscule movement, so subtle that were he any other man he wouldn’t have noticed, but Hanzo saw Niran’s eye twitch ever so slightly at her tone. The sentiment was somewhat a familiar one, though it wasn’t really one he’d felt in years.

They got to their table, a four-seater that overlooked the horizon, with a white card sitting atop a gilded silver, flower-shaped stand with the word Reservation written in cursive across it. There was a panel behind them that offered privacy.

They sat down as the waiter offered them the wine menu, something that Hanzo found a bit pretentious (nothing was better than sake in his mind), but he didn’t think it was the time to say anything. Indeed, he hadn’t uttered a word besides the simple introduction he’d made when he and Cassidy first arrived. It was a gruff one, mainly because he still thought that this entire affair was silly, but he kept that opinion close to his chest for his partner’s sake.

Once all the food and drinks had been ordered, Niran leant forward in his chair and placed his chin on interlocked knuckles as he gave a dashing smile to the two men on the opposite side of the table. “I must thank you again for accepting my invitation. Truth be told, I was worried you’d think a double date to be too silly to join.”

Hanzo felt Cole give his hand a knowing squeeze and he nearly grumbled at it. “Silly? Us? Never.”

Niran laughed. “It is silly. Perhaps a little juvenile, some might even say childish. But I fully believe that we should embrace our inner child, what with the way the world is currently and all.” He paused as he tilted his head to the side. “There’s beauty in whimsy. We should nurture it.”

“Whimsy leads to carelessness,” Hanzo said, far quicker than he could stop himself.

Niran blinked at him, but if he was offended Hanzo couldn’t tell. “Perhaps. But I’m tired of hearing that carelessness can only be bad.”

“Forgive Hanzo, he’s had a day,” Cole interrupted quickly, before shooting Hanzo a look that said Please don’t scare away potential friends.

Niran shook his head. “No, forgive me. Philosophy is hardly a topic to be discussed in a casual meeting like this. I should stop before I begin to get ahead of myself. What brought you to Overwatch, Mr. Shimada?”

Hanzo was never comfortable with talking about the reasons for his joining the group. “I came for a debt that needed to be repaid.” I remained for Cole, he thought to himself. A thought that he would never admit out loud, not even to Cole himself, though he knew that Cole knew.

“Did you do it?” Baptiste inquired. “Repay the debt, I mean.”

Hanzo chuckled humourlessly. “It is not so simple. It was forgiven far before I even joined, and yet…” He sighed and trailed off.

“What about you?” Cole asked quickly now, knowing that Hanzo desperately needed an out.

Niran took a moment to respond, as though considering his words very carefully. “I’m wanted in seventeen countries because Vishkar wants my technology, my biolight. I wanted to join a cause where I know it can be used for good.”

“Didn’t ya study at Vishkar?”

“You could say I grew up there,” he said with a smile. “I never cared for it, all the rules and schedules and dress codes… My dear Satya thrived in that environment, but I just felt stifled. When I left, I didn’t look back…  Well, not unless I thought I was being followed. One thing led to another, I found Dr Zhou’s blog entries and as a fan of her work I only thought it prudent that I join her.”

“Dr Zhou? You mean Mei?”

Niran nodded. “I have a special interest in environmentalism and climatology. I stayed up past curfew reading her papers when I was still in university.”

Wow. Hanzo would never have guessed it from looking at him, but Niran was a huge nerd.

“Overwatch gives me something to do with my technology, and with the resources here I can do more research without having to worry about Vishkar punching down my door. That’s happened more times than I’d like to admit…Most of them were my own fault but the science excites me so much.”

“Didn’t strike me as a person who’d be into nerds, Baptiste,” Cole said with a teasing smile.

Baptiste rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. “His enthusiasm is contagious. I find myself caring far more for the environment than I did before.  Not that there’s a lack of passion for anything in overwatch, mind you.”

“How did the two of you meet?”

There was a pause, then a nervous laugh from both medics. “The first time or the second time?”

Hanzo found Niran’s question odd. “How can you meet someone twice?”

“You’d be surprised,” Baptiste said with a chuckle. “We met last year while I was in Nepal after matching on a dating app.”

“What were you both doing in Nepal?”

“Hiding,” they both said in unison, and that brought a chuckle from the whole table.

“We met once,” Niran continued. “In person, I mean. But Jean said he needed to leave the country quickly and who was I to say anything? One year later, I came to Watchpoint planning to join overwatch and imagine my surprise when I saw him in the med bay with Miss Ziegler.”

“Well, ain’t that a stroke of luck.”

“Luck, fate, coincidence, whatever it you might call it, I’m just glad that it happened.” When Baptiste said this, he had a smile on his face that could light up the whole room.

Hanzo couldn’t see because it was obscured by the table but he just knew that the two of them were holding hands. He and Cole rarely held hands with each other, and he wondered whether they should.

“What about you two?” Niran asked.

“Oh it’s not half as exciting as your story,” Cole said.

“My brother introduced us,” Hanzo said. “He tried to kill me.”

“Very glad I didn’t.”

The two of them didn’t elaborate on that and neither Niran nor Baptiste seemed to want to know the particulars of that story. Or maybe they did but knew not to pry. Either way, there was an awkward silence filled only by the soft chatter of the patrons around them and the classical music from the live band that was currently on the outdoor stage.

To his credit, Niran drank some of the water that a waiter had brought and he gulped it down to fill the silence and exclaimed. “Refreshing! There’s nothing quite like a sip of water to quench thirst, right darling?”

Hanzo was certain that the water couldn’t possibly taste that good, but he gave the scientist points for trying. Baptiste nodded and took a drink. “Ah, that certainly hits the spot.”

“And this orchestra is simply magnificent,” he said. “My mother always wanted me to play the violin, but I hated the lessons. Couldn’t sit still, you see. I much preferred the drums. Did you play any instruments Hanzo?”

Hanzo thought for a moment, wondering whether he should share his childhood memories with a man he barely knew. But then he saw the look on Cole’s face, the look he knew just couldn’t resist and he sighed and said, “I played the flute. I was in a child orchestra in middle school.”

There was a pregnant pause at this, and Hanzo willed himself not to let the soft blush of embarrassment dust his face before he heard a burst of musical laughter from Niran.

“Isn’t that just precious,” he said just said, just a bit loudly. “Oh, the things rich parents make their children go through.”

While normally Hanzo would find it uncouth that he laughed so loudly in a setting like this, he couldn’t help the bubble of amusement from rising inside of him. “I admit, I did hate it,” he said with a soft chuckle. “Especially considering Genji wasn’t forced into lessons like I was.”

“Ah, the youngest is coddled while the eldest is put through a trial by fire,” Baptiste said. “A tale as old as time.”

“One could say it’s a song as old as rhyme.”

Baptiste snorted as the waiter handed them their entrees. “No, this is not the time for you to reference those corny old Disney movies of yours.:”

“It’s always the time,” Niran said playfully. “But alright, if you want to be boring. Why, thank you.” He accepted the plate from the waiter with an almost enviable grace. It was clear that while he was…what was the word? Goofy? He certainly came from an esteemed background. But his politeness wasn’t the fake politeness that Hanzo was used to. No, it was genuine. Like he was actually grateful to be given the food.

 “By the way,” Cole enquired as he picked up his fork and knife, “how did you get reservations here? I’ve heard there’s a waiting list here that’s about a year long.”

There was a seemingly uncharacteristic silence from Niran as he looked down at his plate and twirled his own fork. “My parents had a reservation for me for what feels like ages. They wanted me to use it to smooth things over with Vishkar…I decided to do this instead.” He stopped and grinned up at them. “They’re going to be so mad when they find out.”

Though the tone of the way he said that last part was a playful one, Hanzo couldn’t help but notice the way he gripped his fork now. It seemed his relationship with his parents was a complicated one, a feeling that Hanzo related to all too well.

It was strange, how much the two of them had in common. For the rest of the evening, the conversation was pleasant with Niran leading it mostly. He had a lot to say and got really excited when Hanzo enquired about his biolight. To the point that he was standing by the rail to demonstrate and was animatedly using his hands to explain the technology with words far too big for Hanzo to comprehend, but with an energy that was almost hauntingly sirenlike. He couldn’t look away, and he immediately understood what Baptiste meant earlier about his infectious enthusiasm.

“Oh, excuse me. I’m rambling again, aren’t I?” Niran asked as the waiters brought in the check.

“No… I mean, yes but we don’t mind,” Cole reassured. “Ain’t that right, Han?”

Hanzo shook his head. “It was…enlightening.”

“Satya always said I used ten words where I could use one,” he said with a chuckle. “The night is still young, do the two of you fancy a walk?”

-0o0-

It was warm outside as it was the beginning of summer, so Hanzo held Cole’s coat as the four gentlemen walked about a park that was a few blocks away. The sound of the ocean could be heard and the wind was pleasant as it ruffled their clothes.

Niran and Baptiste had their hands delicately interwoven together as they chatted together ahead of the two of them. It was endearing to see them enjoying themselves so genuinely.

“Mr. Shimada, is that a smile I see forming on those lips?” Cole asked, and indeed there was as Hanzo didn’t realise that his lips had curled upwards. “If I didn’t know any better I’d say you enjoyed yourself this evening.”

“It was a pleasant one,” he said.

One of Cole’s eyebrows tilted playfully upward. “Is that right?”

He waited expectantly and Hanzo rolled his eyes. “Fine, you were right. I had a good time.”

“And?”

 “I wouldn’t mind meeting them again.” He paused. “Niran is not what I expected. I….relate to him a lot.”

“I figured you would. Two of you are two sides of the same coin.”

[dusteebowl]

sanders sides updating is my phan just so you know

[sickboywolfgang]

[sabertoothwalrus]

for those who don’t remember, “mole interest” was an experiment I did 2 years ago because I wanted to test what causes tags to go trending on tumblr. My hypothesis was that all it takes is one (1) post blowing up in an established tag to make the entire tag trend.

I had randomly generated 2 words, which is where “mole interest” came from. I failed to consider that by generating a new tag, it wouldn’t have had enough posts already in it to prove what I now call “the mole interest effect”.

But now it does.

In 2023, we said “fuck it” a la mythbusters and ended up doing whatever it took to get #mole interest to trend. And it did. And it happened to be September 11th that day, and we managed to get #mole interest to trend ABOVE #9/11.

So, in the name of science, I ask you to reblog just this post. Let’s put the mole interest effect to the test.

[kirasometimess]

a year too late but I finally watched The Acolyte

[alanaisalive]

The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.

[iguanamouth]

oh shit

[throughshadow-to-the-edgeofnight]

[alanaisalive]

As the OP of this post, I’m going to threaten that if this gets to one million notes by the 10 year anniversary on 1 June 2026, one year from today, I will get a lower back tattoo of the loch ness bear monster.

[docd666]

Y'all know what to do Tumblr.

[justsomeguycore]

every so often the discourse comes around again that basically boils down to “is it feminist for a woman to want men to be attracted to her” and it’s like. no, it’s not. it’s also not anti feminist. it’s not relevant. it’s nothing. a woman wanting to have sex with men has nothing to do with feminism. being a lesbian or celibate is not “more feminist” than being a straight woman. the point was always “women should not have to dress in a way that is attractive to men solely in order to be acknowledged by them at all” not “women should never dress in a way that is attractive to men for any reason.” sometimes a woman wants men to want to have sex with her. that’s not anti feminist. that’s average. it’s also not feminist just because it’s her choice to do it. it is not related. feminism is about women’s human rights. that doesn’t mean it’s a feminist act every time a woman makes a choice.

[brehaaorgana]

From the book Organizing Solutions for People with ADHD:

Putting a coat on the back of a chair by the door is fine, but if you prefer, use coat hooks and a large catch-all basket for dropping keys, hats, gloves.

Small bookcase end-table next to the couch to store craft projects, books, and other things being worked on for easy access.

Add a storage unit near the dining room table to transition between eating and working there.

Daily toiletry items should be stored in a basket that you can move easily

Extra toiletries and medicine cabinet items go in open shelf/basket storage so they can be seen and used easily. If items no longer fit, purge the excess. Don’t obscure the view!

If you disrobe in the bathroom, place a tall hamper in there.

Keep a set of cleaning supplies in each bathroom

[unashamedly-enthusiastic]

Reblog and say what project you currently have spread on your dinner table in the tags

[pancakeke]

oh btw archive.org has the first edition of this book available to borrow.

[porcupine-girl]

I’ve gotten this book out from the library and it is fantastic. I was wary, because we all know how well most organization schemes work for us, but she is a professional organizer who specifically wrote the book because her usual methods didn’t work for clients with adhd (and then her own daughter, when she was diagnosed) and she had to actually sit down and figure out their needs and adjust her methods accordingly.

For once, a NT author sat down and took the time to really understand adhd and rearranged their whole methodology just to fit, and it shows. She explicitly says that a well-organized adhd house will not look like a well-organized NT house, and that is absolutely fine. Organization has to be about what works for you.

(Also: I had this book sitting in my back office basket at the library I volunteer in for weeks without being able to check it out, because I kept forgetting to return my overdue books. LOL)

[laniemae]

Ok guys just thought of this what is the first blorbo you’ve ever had/can remember

[angelicguy]

Want one of your fishmongers to return? Just to go your MyMonger tab, click on "banished" in the dropdown menu, and select the gear icon to manage your shunned mongers.

[stephdudette]

So idk if you guys know of a game called Undertale. Its by Toby Radiation Fox, the guy who does homestuck music.

Well i started playing the demo, and that part with the flower, I thought it was gonna be all cute and nice.

BOY WAS I HELL WRONG. THAT FLOWER FREAKED THE HELL OUT OF ME. IM STILL SHAKING NOW.

someone calm me down. im not even 10 seconds and this is freaky. its like OFF  but idk. sdjgklsdjg;lksdjg

imma keep playing though, hopefully it gets better

[sheepyboo]

Lifeweaver mains get your man (talking to myself)

[sheepyboo]

A boy who’s jacked and kind 🩷🧡

[backfliips]

astarion didnt think monster hunter would be more interesting than his ass but apparently he was wrong

[cheaphalloweencostume]

not to be insensitive but some of the salem witch trials were so funny bitches like “i saw her at the devils sacrament!!!” girl... what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament 👀

[orion-archives]

"I want to be a dragon."

[theodysseyofhomer]

odysseus absolutely does present a threat to penelope if he perceives her as at all unfaithful, and i feel the unfairness of this, and i think people tend to undersell how much tension at least potentially exists between odysseus and penelope. but i'm also like. his reaction, all speculation aside, his actual reaction in the odyssey to her flirting with the suitors is delight, because he immediately ascertains that she is running a con. sorry that they're so in-sync in spite of the forces that try to drive a wedge between them, including their own misgiving hearts. sorry that they invented homophrosyne ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[strinak]

oh, you meant they literally did, ok

[theodysseyofhomer]

would i, tumblr user thee odysseyofhomer, lie to you?

[polyphemusthecylcops]

...

[theodysseyofhomer]

this is the only funny addition to this post