"We're not supposed to be honest when people ask us how we are?"
Uhm.. Actually, you can be. There's a lot of people who are honest when answering that question. They just do it in ways that don't come across so upsetting or depressing.
Many people sugarcoat their answers to be more palatable for a greeting, or for a start of a conversation. It can also just be a polite way of giving others an out for a potential depressing conversation they may not want to be a part of.
These responses usually come in forms like,
- "How are you?/How's it going?" -
"Could be better."
"It's definitely going."
"I'm still alive."
"I'm getting there."
"New day, new problems."
"Well, I'm still here."
"Same old."
"It's not all sunshine."
"It's moving along".
"It is what it is."
"Not great but I'll survive."
"Hoping tomorrow comes quickly."
And many more responses like this. These are all ways of basically saying "Things are kinda/very shit at the moment for me". But they just don't go into detail about it. They are being honest, without the extra information.
If the other person doesn't want to go further into this then they may just responed with something like "I feel you", or "That's relatable", or "Yeh, that's life". Which are basically ways of saying "I acknowledge things aren't easy right now", without having to go into a conversation about it. Not everyone has the emotional energy to deal with conversations like that in that moment and that's okay.
Honesty doesn't need to come with the extra information. A lot of people won't give the extra information and that's the difference.
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