Goblins? At least lie about something impressive

Goblin Deez Nuts

[marlasbreastlump]

was originally gonna color and post this for pride month but i lost the original file

[radiofreederry]

[myturtlespeedy]

I literally spit water all over my screen.

[thesevenumbrellas]

For context

[facelessoldgargoyle]

Is it lost? Is it trapped? Is it home? Is it innocent? Is it hunting you? Can you feel it watching you? Is it the house?

[skipppppy]

Back by popular demand. English Willy part 3

(Idk if I'll do another bc I feel like its run its course and unlike Scott Cawthon I would like to end my series on a high note! But to everyone who sent in asks or showed support or generally took part I love all of you and had so much fun with this. I might do more in future but I don't want part 4 to hang over me as something I HAVE to do)

[dajo42]

this ai image from reddit is unfortunately one of the funniest things ive seen this year so far

[ayyyyysexual]

Tumblr on the Seven Seas

🏴‍☠️ white-beard Follow Can we stop all normalising the use of "sc*rvy" as a fun little thing to call people?? I literally had sc*rvy last year and it was even worse than when I got my hand cut off. Fuck anyone who uses the S word without even considering how triggering it can be to those of us who have ACTUALLY suffered though it

🌅 castedaway Follow No wenches?

🏴‍☠️ white-beard Follow Honestly you people are so insufferable I genuinely hope you walk the plank

🌅 castedaway Follow AHOY???

🍑 plundermebooty Follow Okay but OP is literally a landlubber, mateys

🌴 pegmeg nahhh why is it literally always landlubbers faking scurvy and sending plank threats ☠☠

768 notes

🗡wagscallion Follow everyone says "land ho!" but never "land ma'am"

💨 matelotsaboteur Really makes you think

2,041 notes

💃 crossdressing101 Follow this whole crew was so gullible ngl, i just cut my hair and dressed in my fathers clothes and they all fell for it, hook line and sinker??

💃 crossdressing101 Follow honestly im surprised no one has found me out yet. surely i dont seem that much like a man? i mean it makes this way easier but like. im still a woman. obviously

🕺 crossdressing101 Follow mateys i have come to a shocking realisation,

34 notes

⛵ privatesteer Follow wildest argument for piracy i've ever heard was that the gold stored on government ships is dangerous cause it weighs them down, so they're just 'lightening the load'

🧜‍♀️ kiss-pretty-ocean324 Follow աaռռa ʟɨֆȶɛռ ȶօ ֆɨʀɛռ ֆօռɢ?

⛵ privatesteer Follow no thanks

🕶 monstermaterdeactivated16520210

outta my way gayboy im boutta get it

🕶 monstermaterdeactivated16520210

i have drowned at sea

36,251 notes

⚓ shiveringtimbers Follow

14,811 notes

🌏 boat-enthusiast Follow i am SO sick of the term "ship-shape" like, matey, which shape?? Ships come in so many fucking shapes like have non of you ever boarded more than one vessel in your career???? Anyway fake ship fans DNI with this post i can NOT be bothered with your tomfuckery today

💦 longjohngolder Follow girl its not that deep ☠

🌏 boat-enthusiast Follow to YOU. i just get it

1,147 notes

🙍‍♂️ dudeindistress Follow

honestly being held for ransom isnt that bad. kinda nice to be held

4,733 notes

🦜 pollypockets Follow SQUAWK

🐦 aviated Follow CAW SQUAWK SQUAWK

🦜 pollypockets Follow CA-CAW

790 notes

🍑 plundermebooty Follow the cabin boy just winked at me?? after offering to help clean my gun? privately. in my quarters. tonight.

🍑 plundermebooty Follow i think i hauve scurvy

142 notes

🌊 swabmydick Follow mateys I SWEARR my captain and his first mate are gonna kiss before our next voyage. they literally have so much romantic tension every time i see them its nauseating

🕶 longjohngolderdeactivated16511205 wtf its so problematic and harmful to ship real people?? unfollowing rn i thought you were better than this

🌊 swabmydick Follow i literally rob and kill people for a living?????? that's where you draw the line???

🌴 pegmeg

op killed them

🌊 swabmydick Follow even better news mateys, they kissed ☠☠☠

96,538 notes

[cryptotheism]

Father John Yogurt was defrocked from the clergy today for being asexual, following a papal ruling that "vows of chastity don't count without temptation." The Pope later commented "You gotta have that dog in you"

[coalashslurry]

we're running out of time to fuck it we ball....

[theywontletmebeprincipal]

did I ever tell yall I used to think charlie chaplin was a drag king. for like three years straight

[theywontletmebeprincipal]

we watched modern times in seventh grade n I saw this shot n just took it face value that he was a twinky butch. for three years

[theywontletmebeprincipal]

I only found out he wasn’t because in tenth grade the topic of old hollywood leading ladies came up w my friends n I went “I think it’s so cool how charlie chaplin did all those drag roles. she was cute too haha” n they all looked at me like I’d said something just truly fucking insane. which for the record I had

[glassygaze]

i think they would be friends :)

[stagbeetleboy]

Nice penis, but I really don’t care. I need to get back to the lab.

[spoogliedoo]

[wyntonyang]

BREAKING: Undertale stageplay in development, in collaboration with songwriter Lin Manuel Miranda

[passionpeachy-deactivated202312]

Last night I had a dream I woke up to find that my house had been turned into a Smart House with every wall being a digital screen including the roof so I could see it even laying on bed and the Siri voice said “Don’t worry. You are perfectly safe in your Apple Smart Home™️” knowing I have a BIG phobia of intruders especially at night and it continued with “Let’s explore the neighborhood from the comfort of your home” so it opened google maps and accidentally zoomed past a shitty jpeg of the girl from The Ring standing outside my house and it said “ignore that”. woke up laughing

[carrymelikeimcute]

Taking someone's cigarette out of their mouth: Multiple meanings - used a lot in media to convey control, power play, very masculine, I'm your boss and this is mine now, get over it. Mildly flirty, look at me, all in your space and shit, seductive. You're not allowed to smoke, because I say so.

Putting the cigarette back in their mouth afterwards: Ground-breaking. Would be less erotic to just fuck honestly. Who does this?

[sloppystyle]

why did he do that

[lesbica-in-decadenza]

[ap0stle]

"i cant wait to get home from work so i can do all that stuff i wanted to do"

when i get home from work:

[jestersroute66]

sooooo

can you tell which one of us is Hikaru?