When Takayuki was first named a Foundling and made an official member of Clan Matsugane, he was given the incredible privilege of seeing the faces of all those he lived with. Not long after that, however, he became obsessed with the possibilities of what lay beneath Toru’s helm, and only because he was the only one who refused to take it off around him. Now, with a handful of namedays spent with Matsugane as his buir, he tries to remember if he ever expected Toru to look so pretty back when he used to imagine it. He’s certain he’d convinced himself Toru was butt ugly for his own sanity, if nothing else.
Seeing Toru without his helmet makes Takayuki’s eyes widen in shock. The only reason he stops staring at all is because Masaharu elbows him, telling him that your food’s gettin’ cold, Tak’ika. It’s a little embarrassing.
Takayuki goes through the rest of the meal in silence despite the chatter around him, though his eyes keep flicking back to Toru here and there as he eats. He memorises the sharp juts of his cheekbones, the lines of his jaw, the length of his lashes. He even glances briefly at his mouth before looking away again, as if afraid he’s done something wrong. But, Force, if Toru doesn’t pout a lot more than Takayuki thought he would.
Later, when they have to do the dishes (they’re the two youngest, even if Takayuki’s older by only a few namedays), Toru’s helm looks a lot colder after being able to see his face. So Takayuki finds it impossible not to speak.
“You hate me that much, huh?”
Toru’s movements cease momentarily as he hears Takayuki speak up, eventually continuing scrubbing the dish clean as if nothing had been said. Truthfully, he’s surprised that it’s taken so long for the jedi to speak on the matter. It’s also only then that he realizes he’s not entirely certain it’s as simple as hating him.
He’s grateful that he’s had the chance to put his helm back on before being bombarded with such a question, but then, taking it off to begin with was a great deal of the current problem.
Higashi proceeds to finish drying off the plate and setting it in its designated area before finally stopping and looking at the other.
“To hate you would mean you’ve ever held any place of importance in my life,” he responds bluntly. “We have no relationship or ties, no matter what Matsugane says. You may know our faces, share a home with us, eat at our table, what have you, but you’ve neglected to make the same vows every single one of us have. To make my point even further, you’re a jedi. The fact Matsugane has allowed you these privileges, let alone your presence here, are something I will never understand.
“So, no, Takayuki, I don’t hate you, but I also don’t care for you.”