vice president of the penelope bunce fanclub @ebbpettier - Tumblr Blog

one of my creative writing professors once said that to evaluate a work as good or not, first you ask what the work is attempting to do, and then you evaluate how well it does it. and this is how to judge everything from critical essays to romance novels to snack packaging to theory tracts.

#this is also different from what you WANTED it to do #for example. i desperately wanted dragon age 4 to be good.#dragon age 4 wanted to be a cashgrab that would get fans of the previous games to buy and play it and possibly buy DLCs and merch of it #we were both disappointed :)

baxs-tblr

Being a fan of a morally grey character is frustrating because people will try to reduce them to either being an innocent little angel or a completely heartless monster and both of these interpretations just take away what makes the character interesting

#fiona and the mage both tbh #do not ever get me wrong. fiona is a w f u l. shes just also my special princess who gets whatever she wants

ebbpettier

the top of the class is for people who've never been kidnapped by bloody numpties

#TIME TO BRING BACK A CLASSIC #carry on

say it. say it to me now ... those four little words

fiona pitch ankle monitor

#i wont tag rainbow in this directly but if u see this. thank you for making her exist #she's so fucking Sucks (said in the dreamiest sigh ever)#carry on #fiona pitch

rotisseries

that being said I'm not actually always opposed to conflict free fluff I am just opposed to the characters having their claws filed down for it. you can stick them in a coffee shop au it should just still feel like you sat the two worst most insane people on earth in a starbucks

#fiodemus #shes still got charges #'no magic coffee shop/ballet/florist/sports/celebrity au' ill take it. but if fiona is there where the FUCK is her ankle monitor #anger management chip girls throwing that shit down the stormdrain when they spot davy in the wild

nonlynear

the losing dogs and i are engaging in insider trading

#malcolm grimm thinks this is simon and the mage's whole deal honestly

ebbpettier

images that instantly get simon snow a little bit hard 1080p no clickbait

#please god someone get this or i will not ever recover

you know what. even if i couldn't pull simon snow. i think he would at LEAST get close enough for me to say "get over here so i can put a dent in that shiny new sword of yours, boy" before baz drags him away by the collar (or one or both of us end up in the ER)

#i think if another man said this to me i'd never recover frankly. 100% effective pickup lines #del/lat #im so tired and this is so silly #in my dreams baz and simon saw me across the bar and they might not have liked my vibe but they cannot deny my unseelie swagger drew em in #for some godforsaken reason i cannot get sparring opponents to actually hit me? at least not often #dont fucking tap me buddy i want a WHOLLOP. IF I DIE I DIE.#im 5'3 and built like oliver twist so i get the vibe it makes my main sparring prospect feel VERY guilty. bc he's like a 6ft tank of a guy.#he's probably right that he absolutely should not hit me as hard as he can but you know what. i bet simon would if i asked.#he could probably bat me into space. there is a massive weight and height differential here. but it's given me such small dog syndrome #CMON MAN I KNOW U SEE THE SPIRIT OF THE WARRIOR BURNING IN MY EYES. HONOR THE FUCKING COUPON. HIT ME!!!!!

images that instantly get simon snow a little bit hard 1080p no clickbait

#simon snow #carry on #they cant make me be sorry #edit: if nobody gets this joke im gonna pack it up and become a monk because ill never recover from outing myself like this. dire self own

ebbpettier

i think very often about how simon is probably the scary one

ebbpettier

i should elaborate—baz’s neutral face is a little haughty, but elegant and still technically approachable. i think simon’s neutral face when he’s zoning out looks like he’s waited his entire life to track you (his mortal enemy) down and now he’s mere seconds away from doing something that’s going to land him in prison.

ebbpettier

i shouldve said this in the body of the post bc i was RIGHT.

#im sorry i keep making Canine Poetry metaphors about simon. its gonna keep happening #sometimes a knight is a dog is a monster is a boy

agathawellbelov3d

In the world of mages in the US do you think there was a getting kirked spell cause people say that a lot

#cannot WAIT to find out what crab rave does honestly

sprialianscarab

How it genuinely feels like to be in your 20s and you’re thinking of oc lore for an almost 20 year old children's card game

#fellas ask me about the frogthistle clan before i die

'baz is a vampire so he'd be death school' 'baz is a dorkass teacher's pet with his nose in the air so he'd be myth school' both false. baz is risking his life every single day to be professor falmea's special little boy.

#his unshakeable mommy issues would NOT help. he has to make that woman proud or he'll die for real.#simon tried very hard to be life. very very hard. but he EXCELLED at myth and kind of hated it because isnt this just what the humdrum does #penny's a balance caster and the second she gets back from marleybone every semester she has Complaints #because she just cannot accept that she SHOULD BE STORM #del/lat #nobody cares about this game but me in 2026 but im lost in my sauce alas

clackjaw

Just a little something to take the edge off.

#sighs and redownloads the only MMO i ever truly loved #i always fucking come back to Being A Motherfucking Wizard

IM SO USED TO YOURE ART AND WRITING BEING SAFE FOR WORK THAT IT STARTLES ME HEN YOU POST ABOUT PORN (Its not bad! I'm just never expecting it XD)

U ARE. NOT THE FIRST PERSON TO TELL ME THIS COMRADE. im always leery about posting hornily on this blog bc i know a significant portion of my blogging circle is quite domestically pg 13 snowbaz things but like. i also only post about 20% of what i make here because if i think if i posted any of the other stuff tumblr would nuke it from space

#ive also been told this in real life. apparently i have one of those faces and affects where people assume im fresh outta highschool #even though i am 25 and have a job and a beard #i made a joke about analingus to a friend recently and jumpscared him a little bc he said he did expect me to Know That Word #buddy i know linguses that aint even on urban dictionary yet #i just have resting nun face #if this website let me i'd probably just be posting a lot of sketches of baz's hairy balls #and my headcanons for simon's weird hemipene dragon boners #im sure the spell didnt also make his dick weird but you see. i WANT it to have made his dick weird :(

that tag essay was extremely long but if you like elf pornography and think we have similar taste on tumblr dot com. cannot recommend iro enough

#started it for the porn and was not expecting to be mindblasted by a life changing fantasy setting #you know how victor hugo loved notre dame and it showed through his work even though it was supposed to be about french priests and shit #iro is about elves fucking and smoking weed while someone else with worse priorities saves the world just offscreen #but it is fundamentally about how much the author clearly fucking loves touching grass. the people are so very People.#if it has any moral at all its 'maybe if you jerked off and stopped worrying about power and control you would calm down'#the streets look like streets. the clothes look like clothes a person might realistically wear.#it reads like they didnt want to create a fantasy setting with real world elements #they wanted to create a real world that just HAPPENS to be ye olden and full of sexy hung gargoyles #its like. historical graffiti. ancient romans scrawling 'SEPTIMUS ATE FLAVIA'S PUSSY ANIMAL STYLE HERE' and 'PHARASTES OF MYKONOS IS HUNG'#its so like. loving. truly it is one of my favorite settings ever.#one of my friends cant read it because the jizz is rendered so lovingly that it actually squicked them out #nsfw so im gonna make it unrebloggable as always #BUT. WORST THING YOU CAN DO IS DISLIKE IT YKNOW. GIVE IT A GO

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vice president of the penelope bunce fanclub