Pretend Escapades

Random things I find funny or true and my avatar and header are my original paintings so if I ever accidentally exit tumblr anonymity please don't steal them. I will find you. And also I follow back, cause why not.

[loislane]

in superman adventures #19, there’s a villain named multi-face who can convincingly disguise himself as anyone, even tricking dna tests and x-ray vision. Superman initially can’t stop him

and the only reason he gets caught is because multiface decides to disguise himself as, of all people, CLARK KENT i’m screaming

[loislane]

why do villains always mess up so badly

[ninja-pyro]

Clark Kent attending Bruce Wayne’s yacht party where Bruce told Clark to wear his clothes and……

[stalker-among-the-stars]

Ta-Da!

Sard borken

[cryptiboy]

calling the people at the party Bruce’s “fake friends” as if he’s Bruce’s only real friend and he’s low key jealous

[soblessedamazing]

Aquaman and Black Manta # lunch break

[razycrandomcunt]

So much fine in one video.

[2opinionatedblackgirls]

MY GOD!!

[lolfactory]

[uglyrad]

modern day romeo and juliet

[dxscostick-deactivated20170429]

Fucking traitors

[bitchycode]

[bitchycode]

[cartnsncreal]

SPONGEBOB AS AN ANIME OPENING IM CRYING 

( the ORIGINAL creator of the video)

[tariqah]

Patrick’s thing moving as he moves. I feel so disgusted

[sharkfests]

[Ariana Grande voice] It’s equality !

[uranusign]

“Chose Chumps”

[localstarboy]

[fivekets]

someday, in the distant future, humans will once again be capable of hearing the phrase “what is love” without also feeling the primal urge to  respond with “baby don’t hurt me”

[megparsec]

So at that point, people will say “baby don’t hurt me”…no more?

[iwantasecretgarden]

I tried to scroll past I really did

[quousque]

beautiful set up, perfect follow-through. great teamwork everyone

[oblwankenobi]

Kevin Bacon lashes sexist trend of unnecessary female nudity in cinema and television and demands more male nudity in Hollywood.

[oblwankenobi]

[smartass-stripper]

Kevin Bacon is a blessing

[bpd-dylan-hall-deactivated20190]

what does “men who adhere to strict gender binary” even mean tho

NO ONE adheres to the gender binary! NO ONE FITS THEIR GENDER ROLE PERFECTLY! THAT’S THE POINT! AARRRGGH! 

[drethelin]

NOOOOO OOOOONE…. ADHERES TO THE GENDER BINARY LIKE GASTON!

Originally posted by clarabellecow

[shitifindon]

when I try to hear this in my head my mental voice is incapable of pronouncing it fast enough to fit the timing of the line “noooo oooone… adjksjfksfjslenry like Gaston!”

and when I try to fit it to one of the longer such lines, my mental voice becomes too confused about conflicting scansion to continue

[featurelessorb]

no one’s droll like gaston no one’s swole like gaston no one fits his assigned gender role like gaston

[thehypnobunny]

I’m especially fond of the paaaatriaaarchy My what a guy that gastooon

[lauramkaye]

Bless you for making it scan

[kazoomusic]

NOW I CAN’T READ IT WITHOUT SINGING IN MY HEAD

[kazoomusic]

No one’s droll like Gaston, No one’s swole like Gaston, No one fits his assigned gender role like Gaston! For there’s no one online half as phony, His tinder’s got dick pics to spare, You can ask any neckbeard or brony They’ll show you (no homo) whose trilby they’d wear! No one drawls like Gaston Or catcalls like Gaston, Or manspreads on the train in a sprawl like Gaston! I’m especially fond of the paaaatriaaarchy! My what a guy that Gastooon!

…I’m not sorry.

[lord-kitschener]

crucifixes with super buff-looking Jesuses are always odd to me, like damn did Jesus die for our gainz as well?

[salparadisewasright-deactivated]

[kevinfrane]

CrossFit

[coelasquid]

I almost snorted tea out my nose at work.

[saitamaoppai]

every time I leave my house

[fohk]

i want to be soft with someone

[srsfunny]

Thor Finds Something Really Fluffy

[hank-chill]

This is my uncle in 1984. 

[yiffysniffy]

look at those anime legs

[paranoir-antares]

Always reblog Goth Anime Legs Uncle.

[bixoarts]

Eyes on you

An animation experiment, bonus:

(AtlA/LoK are great inspirations as always)

[savethechip-blog]

Whenever someone asks me why I’m an English major I just look them in the eyes and say, “I’m in it for the money, obviously.”