[dankmemeuniversity]

[n1ghtcrawlers]

[dankmemeuniversity]

[perkistani]

I am actually losing my mind over this

[fuck-customers]

A few years back, I was a waitress at a breakfast diner. On the menus there are pictures of omelettes. The omelettes pictured are yellow.

It’s 11 at night, I get the last table before closing, and it’s a girl my age. She asks for tea and an egg white omelette. So I bring over her egg white omelette, and she starts screaming. Why? Because it’s not yellow like in the picture on the menu, it’s white, so something must be wrong. I explained that the yolk is what makes omelettes yellow, and she didn’t want egg yolks. She’s still mad, and yells again. And then realizes she could eat while she’s yelling, so she does, and I get to watch her chew with her mouth open while she rants about eggs. I’m exhausted and dying inside. She finally stops. I ask if she wants a refill of tea, and she says yes. She’s quiet for the rest of her meal, for which I am very grateful.

After she paid and left, I collected her receipt. On it, she wrote in all caps “I DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW EGGS WORK BUT IT WAS YUMMY.” She left a $20 bill on the table as a tip. She also left some pills in a bag that my manager sent to the police, which were identified as some sort of amphetamine. 

Don’t do drugs kids, you’ll forget how eggs work.

[yiffmaster]

your boss can’t garnish your tips like that

[theoppositeofadults]

he snapped

[dankmemeuniversity]

[jillraggett]

Plant of the Day

Saturday 25 May 2019

Vriesea are bromeliads native to Central and South America. Within the Vriesea genus there are hundreds of different species and cultivars. This display at the Royal Horticultural Society Chelsea Show, London, gave a glimpse of the amazing range of foliage patterns.

Jill Raggett

[crossconnectmag]

Al Boardman:  Controlled Chaos

Al Boardman was originally from Liverpool and now resides in WInchester with his wife and two children where he works as a freelance Motion Designer.  According to Al  ‘I didn’t do well at school and didn’t especially enjoy my time there either’ but he did manage to become a completely self taught and highly accomplished motion designer  He originally started making gifs as a way of sharing work in progress for projects but this grew into a passion for the form in which he experimented with new techniques and forms of expression that he said was ‘ heavily influenced by the GIF-art movement that appeared to center around Tumblr.’  Al Boardman creates beautiful chaotic-seeming and yet controlled animations in which lots of bits, separately moving, somehow are part of a whole that gels together for a moment - and then flies apart again.

Posted by David

More unique art on Cross Connect Magazine:

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[seriouslyamerica]

[amazingatheist]

I’m so glad to see the younger generation waking up to this hypocrisy. 

[goodreasonnews]

The homeowner at 22 one is killing me.

[bankston]

…………………….

This meme makes me so angry because it’s so on-target.

[emptytheroll-deactivated2020052]

i know this is a long shot but they need all the help they can get okay thanks 🙏

[emptytheroll-deactivated2020052]

please share this and don’t just scroll past it and alhamdulillah keep her in your prayers

[trainingseasons]

Friendly reminder that this blog is pro-choice and if you don’t think a woman should have full control of her own body, then kindly unfollow me right now and go to hell

[echinopsritro-blog]

Im really struggling

[nube-1-deactivated20210117]

[northofcorpis]

That fuckin smile at the end

[bettsplendens]

To the worried person in the comments: 

No, a hummingbird’s heart will not stop if it stops moving. You’re possibly thinking of Spoink, which is a Pokemon that supposedly powers its heart by bouncing, and as such can’t stop moving. Hummingbirds don’t sit often because they’re busy looking for food, but they can and do sit. The females sit on eggs in nests, after all, and they do have to sleep. 

[sindri42]

Fun fact: the leg muscles of a hummingbird are so stripped down to save on weight that they cannot walk. They can step sideways along a branch or other perch, but they cannot go forward without taking flight.

However they absolutely do stop moving. In fact, hummingbirds hibernate! Overnight. Instead of sleeping. Because if they tried to sleep like a normal animal their hyperactive metabolism would mean that they starve to death before breakfast.

Unrelated fun fact: the primary Aztec god of war would take on the form of a hummingbird, and the souls of the bravest warriors were said to turn into hummingbirds in order to join him after death, presumably because every hummingbird is approximately four grams of pure concentrated asskicking which fears no man nor beast and will gladly throw down with somebody seventeen thousand times their size if offended.

[ubercharge]

this is a really cool post and i love seeing such a small bird but reading “No, a hummingbird’s heart will not stop if it stops moving. You’re possibly thinking of Spoink” killed me 

[kiwizoom]

I gave Mickey Mouse the Sonic treatment

[galaxicnova]

If one wishes to obtain something, something of equal value must be given. This is the law of equivalent exchange; the basis of all alchemy.

[punyparkerr]

i’ve never done one of these but reblog if you don’t find pit bulls inherently threatening or dangerous because of their breed. i’m trying to prove a point to my mom