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YOU ARE THE REASON
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@echogolfoscar
I wasn't sure about letting this Hydromancer into the party at first, but it turns out her sword arm is unparalleled, and she only dabbled into Hydromancy so she could intentionally contain the enemy's blood after she rained countless slashes upon them like a meteor shower on the clear night sky for the express purpose of striking a pose, muttering "zan", and then releasing all of the blood on their wounds at once in a spectacle that the villager elder described "sick as fuck".
hey real quick can anybody help me find this image that I’ve seen before here on tumblr. it looks like this
the button doesn’t necessarily say “Elucidate the Rapture” but it does say something that’s kind of lengthy and has religious connotations. the woman pushing the button has an expression of indescribable smugness. there might be other buttons on the machine (?) she is pressing.
FOUND IT
Oh this is only the first image in the Eschatron 9000 Series
and the finale, because of the Tumblr image limit
thanks this is part of an even grander incomprehensibleness than I could have expected
I cannot believe that this is a website where you can ask “hey i think i saw a weird image once” and put a bad stick figure drawing of it and someone will be like “oh yeah that’s the first installment of a 12-part post-ironic apocalypse fever dream photoshop series” and just hand you a dozen of the most unhinged images you’ve ever seen in your life, that still have a better three act structure than most modern cinema
I dont think thats the whole photoset…. I found one more
But from what i can gather thats Crystal Thierry, also known as page73girl. Who seems to have been a model for the now defunct biggestletdown.com…
But i have no idea when the eschatron 9000 pictures were made or for that matter the original photos that were used to make it
this is far more than “random person in 2005ish creates surreal visual narrative” - let’s go deeper down the rabbit hole, shall we?
to Immanentize the Eschaton means to bring about utopian conditions and create heaven on Earth
the phrase is first cited in the Discordian religious text, Principia Discordia (1963), for whom Discord (aka Eris) is goddess:
the first line of Robert Anton Wilson and Robert Shea’s 1975 The Illuminatus! trilogy: “It was the year when they finally immanentized the Eschaton.”
in Frederik Pohl’s The Eschaton Sequence (1997 - 1999), the human race is caught up in a galactic war between two alien races attempting to immanentize the eschaton
in Ken Macleod's The Stone Canal (1997), one of the chapters is “Another crack at Immanentising the Eschaton”
Crystal Thierry’s (aka the modern Discordia / Eris) narrative lives in esteemed company
here’s what the warning in the image says btw because i wanted to read it but it was too blurry so i had to spend several minutes hunting for a version with better resolution, so I’m posting it here so nobody else has to make that same journey
“DO NOT OPERATE THE ESCHATRON 9000 UNLESS YOU’RE REALLY, REALLY SERIOUS ABOUT DESTROYING THE WORLD”
also just noticed the labels on the dials on the left side of the device’s control panel:
“MAYHEM” and “DESTRUCTION” are both turned all the way up
As they should be. Can’t make paradise without scrambling a few universes.
Official ominous sign(s)
You definitely don’t get content like this on other webbed sites and apps
I swear to fucking god. I would claw out OneDrive from my computer if I could. I would burn down their servers if I could. I would run down their stocks to the ground if I could. I hope every single one of their workers gets a better offer from a competitor in the next 24 hours. I hope every single one of their light bulbs explodes at the same time. I hope every single carton of milk in their fridge will always be expired.
Stop backing up my fucking files.
Stop asking me to back up my fucking files.
Stop taking my fucking files off my fucking computer.
I don't want a fucking reminder in three fucking days. Let me fucking say no.
Fuckers.
Friend, I have news you're gonna love. Here's a text tutorial to get rid of that shit on Windows 10.
Here's a text tutorial to get rid of that shit on Windows 11.
Here's a video tutorial to get rid of that shit on Windows 10.
Here's a video tutorial to get rid of that shit on Windows 11.
Go forth. Be free.
Reblog to save a life... and someone's sanity
im going to fix my entire life
When?
Like Um. later
me every other day cause I can never be normal about anything
This is kinda ominous ngl
Gotta compliment him on his reflexes. No hesitation. Just described exactly what he was seeing, regardless of what it was.
[VD: A weatherman is giving a report and pointing to a map, saying "feel like temperatures really take a tumble too, because after the storm-" before he is interrupted by the screen going black and then displaying a picture of some baby spinach. He says, "um," then immediately points to the screen and confidently announces, "this is baby spinach." /End VD]
why is this post completely broken in every way imaginable
Broken notes… deactivated account… removed image….
Finally, we have them all.
In addition: OP’s name is just… gone. No “[insert username]-deactivated[insert a bunch of numbers]” as is the standard for deactivated blogs.
Just the world “deactivated.” Look upon their post, ye mighty, and despair.
It’ll be almost impossible to find this post unless it wanders across your dash.
It wandered across mine. I shall help it travel forward.
this is not a place of honor
Oh hey post of Ozymandius, good to see you again standing on your feet in a desert where no one remembers you
[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at myself] its over
has anyone figured out how to turn off the thing where you love your pet so much it slides inexorably into grief-borrowing
“For me this glass is already broken. I enjoy it; I drink out of it. It holds my water admirably, sometimes even reflecting the sun in beautiful patterns. If I should tap it, it has a lovely ring to it. But when I put this glass on the shelf and the wind knocks it over or my elbow brushes it off the table and it falls to the ground and shatters, I say, ‘Of course.’ When I understand that the glass is already broken, every moment with it is precious.”
traditional chinese firework huohu火壶 by 江寻千
Y'all I have to tell you about the tortoises!!!!!!
Okay so I'm doing background information comes first bc this is the order I learned it in and it's such a conservation rollercoaster
So the Galapagos Islands off the coast of Ecuador are home to some of the largest tortoises in the world. Huge. Beautiful. Iconic.
What I didn't realize is that, just like Darwin's finches all adapted unique beaks for conditions on the different Galapagos Islands, different islands have their own unique variety of giant tortoise!
But bad news for tortoises, in the 1700s-1800s whalers and other sailing ships would stop in and grab as many tortoises as they could carry as portable snacks bc the tortoises can live a few months without eating, so they make good fresh meat in a long voyage??? And it turns out if you keep doing this, even if you start out with 20k tortoises on an island, eventually you run out.
So on Pinta Island, for example, everyone thought their tortoises were extinct bc no one saw any after the early 20th century, but surprise! Out of nowhere in 1971, a big beautiful boy appears!
Enter Lonesome George. Look at that neck!!!! He's the only Pinta Island Tortoise in the world and scientists and conservation experts are scrambling to figure out what to do! We thought they were extinct but now there's just One More???
So everyone's studying him and trying to get him a girlfriend and hoping somehow we can have a miracle and try to bring back this tortoise from the razor's edge of extinction.
Unfortunately, George never had offspring. He passed away in 2012, and the Pinta Island Tortoise was once again declared extinct. He was already full grown when he was discovered, so he could have been anywhere from 80-120 years old.
So this is the low point in the story. No tortoises, no chance. Until!!!!!!! 2015! Down on Isabela Island, near Wolf Volcano. What sort of tortoises are these? They have these crazy hump shells, not like the native Isabela Tortoises should have....
Turns out!!!!! There's a bunch of hybrid tortoises down here, but they have a ton of features and genetics from our bestie the extinct Pinta Island Tortoise!! We know from historical records that sometimes sailors would pick up tortoises on one island and drop them off on another.
So then it's like,, can we breed these descendant tortoises to get more Pinta features and reintroduce them to the right island ??
Meanwhile
On Wolf Island, more out-of-place hybrid tortoises have been spotted! (This is... early 2000s?) These ones look distinctly like the Very Incredibly Extinct tortoises from Floreana Island
We're talking, like, some of the most recent sightings of these Floreana Tortoises in the wild being recorded by Charles Darwin in the 1830s. We're talking more than 180 years of extinction. And there's little tortoises with the same shell shapes and features wandering around way over on Wolf Island!!!
Again. Sometimes old-timey sailors would drop off tortoises in weird places. But like!!!! These hybrid tortoises are descended from the Floreana lineage!! No one has seen these suckers in two centuries and their little descendants are still alive and kicking!
Now, Floreana Island,,, got put through the wringer. Ecologically, it was just a mess. We're talking a bajillion invasive species, species going extinct left and right. It was one of the most frequented islands by whalers back in the day, and it's taken decades of hard work to even begin to undo the damage. There's a reason the Floreana Tortoises went extinct, that's all I'm saying.
But so now we have these Floreana lineage tortoises (not pure Floreana Tortoises blood, that's gone now, but very close!) and we've got a Floreana Island that's been cleaned up and a whole team of ecologists who are very, very excited.
It's going to take a lot of planning to reintroduce these tortoises, though. We've got 15 of these Floreana lineage tortoises who still have a mix of traits, we want to end up with thousands of tortoises, and we can't just stick tortoises back on Floreana yet bc the invasive rats, feral cats, dogs, etc all love eating baby tortoises and tortoise eggs
So thus begins a decades-long project to raise sturdy tortoises with as many Floreana traits as possible and get them big enough to safely release onto an island that's still trying to get its rat problem under control.
All of this culminating in the release of 158 tortoises (aged 12-14, so they're all big enough to stay safe) on February 20th, 2026
After nearly 200 years without any tortoises on the island, Floreana had its tortoises back!
The young tortoises, each weighing between 30-50 pounds, had to be carried to the release site on foot by park rangers and volunteers. (link to video)
So much work went into preparing for this day, and this isn't the finish line! The Galapagos Conservation Trust plans to release hundreds more tortoises in the coming years, and to continue efforts to rebuild the ecosystem! Other native animals are making a comeback, like the Galapagos Rail, a bird who hasn't been seen in 190 years! We thought it was extinct!!! But as the island recovered they've reappeared!
There's so much thought that's gone into releasing these tortoises. They released them in February to take full advantage of the rainy season. The long term plan to handle the rats is timed to wrap up in the next 12 years before the new Floreana Tortoises are old enough to lay eggs. This is such a huge win for conservation in general and Galapagos conservation in particular!!!! This is groundbreaking, and it happened 12 days ago.
So for today, there's no Pinta Island Tortoises on Pinta Island. They're still extinct, and Lonesome George was the last pure-blooded Pinta Island Tortoise.
But two weeks ago there weren't any Floreana lineage tortoises on Floreana Island either. Things will never be exactly the same as before, but the ecosystem and the birds and the grasslands are going to love those tortoises. Recovery takes time, and nature is incredible at bouncing back, especially when people are willing to help move things along.
I really do believe that one day, Pinta Island will have charming, long-necked and bowed-backed giant tortoises again. I feel so grateful to live in a world of amazing creatures, and amazing people who dedicate decades to helping them.
this is fred, the dot.
fred wants to grow into a beautiful tree, but sadly has no branches
reblog to give fred a branch
i will post fred status updates as he grows
look at him go!
he's figuring out how to tree!
35 reblogs, he's growing so good :D
75 reblogs, fred continues to grow
reminder to spread out your branches (ie. dont spam reblogs on one post), he's starting to get a little crowded near the trunk :(
At 1788 Reblogs, Fred is spreading nicely... But We Can Do Better :)
I would like to see the Fred again please
Oh, ✨Fred!✨
🤩
This is Fred the post. Please help Fred the Post grow more. We love Fred the Post.
''i wasted those years'' who cares. you lived the only life you could've lived in those moments
You did the best you could with all you had and knew. That was then. Here is now
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Food: Filipino halo halo
Ingredients: sweetened red beans, sweetened white beans, ice, banana, jackfruit, macapuno strips, nata de coco, candied red palm seeds, candied green palm seeds, evaporated milk, ube ice cream, cap'n crunch berries cereal (optional)
