hope they'll forgive us, hope they won't forget us

system sideblog//body is 20//generally he/they/it collectively//endos please dni

[eclipsesystemmusings]

Changed the system name. Not falling star anymore. Eclipse or Phantom are preferred <3

[growing-home]

i feel like we don’t always talk about the smaller ways that having a dissociative disorder (and not being “out” about it) can really disable a person— i’m in a choir, and idk how to explain to the musical director that SOMETIMES i am a soprano and have no trouble hitting high notes while other times i feel like i physically cannot sing that high. or how sometimes my guitar feels like an extension of my body but sometimes i don’t even remember how i’m supposed to hold it properly. or in art therapy when i only sometimes have access to my adult level of artistic skill while sometimes i have the skill level of a five year old. my dissociative disorder very much disables me, and this is something i don’t see people talking about outside of the ways that PTSD disables those with dissociative disorders. what i mean is that sometimes i do not have the ability to do very basic tasks. dissociative disorders are developmental disorders, and i am very much developmentally disabled much of the time.

i don’t plan on ever being publicly out about my dissociative disorder in a non anonymous setting. i have a hard time even talking about my parts in therapy even to the clinician that diagnosed me with DID. it feels unbearably vulnerable and not safe to tell people about my parts. i feel like we’re seeing more and more people on tik tok start talking publicly about their DID, and while that may be very helpful for them, i honestly can’t imagine ever being fully out with it like that. keeping it secret is what has kept me safe, it is how i survived the last twenty years of my life. my experience with DID also does not line up with most of the DID content i’ve seen online— and i don’t mean this to invalidate those whose experiences are different than mine, it’s just that it can feel really lonely and isolating to have a dissociative disorder that doesn’t fit with the worlds preconceived image of what a dissociative disorder looks like. this is part of why i typically just say that i have dissociative disorder instead of DID.

tldr: dissociative disorders can really impair basic functioning and i feel like people forget that when they focus so much on the parts of DID that are more sensationalized in the media.

[a-sip-of-milo]

Sending my love to those with "bad person" traits.

Those with low/no empathy.

Those who can be manipulative.

Those who use their own experiences as a way of showing support to other people.

Those who lie frequently.

Those who get jealous of other people's success.

Those who get angry a lot.

Those who hate physical touch.

Those who cry so much that it comes off as manipulative.

None of these prove whether you're a good person or not. A lot of us have developed them as a result of trauma, or we've lived in an environment where this was our normal. And even if you haven't, you still deserve support.

[pigeon-system-boys]

Did system that had hyperfix on omegaverse expirience is this one omega who

Builds nests

Survives heat (ovulation)

Always wears choker

Hides their smell (uses deodorant)

Gets slutty (whole system is disphoric now)

[pigeon-system-boys]

So... umm.... Wanna say "Hi" to your littles!

To traumaholders littles

To persecuters littles

To sexual-protectors littles

To phisical-protectors littles

To littles who are not fitting in agere community

To littles that are already not interested in shows for kids, but are easily triggered by adult stuff

To littles who drink or smoke or use anything else

To littles who harm body because it's their coping mechanism

To sadistic littles

To masochistic littles

To cluster-B littles

To littles with amputation, or with too big genitals, or any kind of gore or body-horror happening with them

To littles who feel like their full purpose is being abused

To littles who feel like their whole purpose is to serve someone

To programmed littles

To every-every little that does not fit anywhere

To littles without anyone who can tell them that they are seen

I see you. I hug you mentally. I'm here with you, I see your pain

Yours, Ofer and Ori

[chompercroncher-deactivated2024]

Caretaker abuse is so uniquely hard to experience and talk about because most people are only that vulnerable for the first decade of their life. After then their basic needs are mostly in their own hands .

Needing someone else for your basic hygiene and safety inherently creates a huge power imbalance even outside of how easy it is to intentionally abuse us. Even if our carers have no bad intentions they can still up and say "sorry, I'm to angry to even look at you right now " after a fight or "whoops, sorry, I forgot about that thing/ that you needed this. Just slipped my mind ". And if that were a normal parent or friend or partner or aquantence or colleague that would be fine but it's NOT fine when you need that person to live. Tiny tiny things that wouldn't matter for most other people become abuse. A lot of people only have access to family as carers and for people with genetic and inherited disabilities , neglect can happen because they experience some of the same symptoms you do . And When you are disabled enough to need a carer , people will always believe your carer over you.

It's HARD to set boundaries especially physical ones with someone who cleans the most private parts of your body every day. It's hard to feel like you have privacy and some people will even tell you that you don't deserve privacy in the first place, or assume , why would we even need/ want it if we need supervision and help with basic tasks ?

When you need someone to tell you what's best for you because of a developmental or intelectual disability or else you will literally die , you have to trust other people even when you feel like you shouldn't. You get taken advantage of and lied to because it's either that or death.

Caretakers are always viewed as noble people making some sort of sacrifice for taking care of us. They are sometimes seen as victims of us and our disability. It is rarely when people recognize it's the other way around.

I wish there was more conversation about caretaker abuse and how easy it is to happen . I feel very alone being a victim of it sometimes. Some people with lower needs will try to compare it to parental/ guardian abuse like they understand but it is so so different and so so scary to go through , to know you will likely always experience some form of it forever. Caretaker abuse is so important to talk about and share our stories about because it is something many of us will never ever escape .

[snorlax-and-co]

[briarpatch-kids]

Let's talk mobility aids!

Canes

Canes are for when you need to take a little bit of weight off of one side of your body, need a little help with balance, or need a little extra stability when you walk. It's an easy mobility aid to find and get, and it's pretty easy to figure out how to use. Have the cane sized so the handle sits at wrist level, then hold it on the opposite side to the one that hurts. Match your cane strikes to the steps on the hurt side. It will hurt your arm, elbow, and shoulder sometimes, but having a properly sized cane will help.

Rollators

Rollators are kind of the "next step up" in support. They come with more restrictions, you get limited to ramps and stuff, but they're also the least restrictive wheeled mobility aid because they're light and easy to pick up and toss around. They also have a seat a lot of times and a basket so you don't need to carry stuff. They're for when you need a place to rest, something to lean on when you walk, better balance assistance than a cane, and less weight bearing than a cane. I also found that it helped me with fatigue quite a bit. There's two main kinds, euro style like the first, and regular like the second. There are other fancier ones but I'm covering the basics here.

Rollators are my favorite mobility aid and I've used everything from canes to a fancy high grade power chair. They're just the perfect balance of help and freedom. They provide so much support for how far they go.

Crutches

Arm crutches are pretty neat! They're a lot more ergonomic than a cane. In fact, some people use a single arm crutch as a cane. They distribute the weight a little better, so it's not all on your wrists, and they support you better than a rollator can. The major cons I found are that they take two hands to use so you can't carry much and I had a really hard time trying to learn to walk with them. A lot of people who use forearm crutches have other mobility aids and use the forearm crutches when they want to or need to walk.

Manual Wheelchairs

These are for when walking becomes more difficult than pushing a wheelchair. There's no weight being put on your legs and feet and depending on your needs, you can get really specific with your adaptations if you have a custom wheelchair verses a standard wheelchair. My first custom chair looked like a monster truck because i took in the woods and gravel, my second custom chair after I got sicker has a head rest, a backrest that holds me up, and a little electric box that I can attach that helps me push. The difference between getting a standard and custom wheelchair is dependent on how much money the user has, what kind of needs they have, and what kind of medical access they have. (One is not more "real" than the other.) I highly recommend getting a cushion for under your butt if you have a standard chair without a cushion, I used a standard full time for 6 months and a cushion made a huge difference.

Mobility scooters

Mobility scooters are for people who can't walk long distances, but can still walk with the help of a cane or unassisted. If you can walk around your house, but not really much else, a mobility scooter might be the aid for you! There's a lot of different styles and battery life lengths and handling abilities so try a few different scooters out if you can.

Powerchairs

Powerchairs come in a couple different types or "groups" depending on your needs. Group 1 is the kind of chair you're probably most familiar with. It's basically for someone who needs a powerchair to get around their house, the doctors, office, and grocery store. You can't do any custom seat cushions or anything, but it's for people who don't need it. Think of like... someone who can walk pretty okay still, it just hurts to walk or they're off balance or a little weak feeling. A lot of times more elderly people will use these, if you're more active look into group 2

Group two chairs are little more durable, a little more stable, sometimes you can switch the captains seats out for custom seating... They're what a full time powerchair user would use if they don't need specialty functions like tilt or recline. They also often have 6 wheels rather than 4 like the group 1 chairs have.

Group 3 powerchairs are reserved for specific diagnoses like muscular dystrophy, ALS, and other severe neurological and neuromuscular illnesses. These are also called "rehab" chairs because they're for making sure severely disabled people have quality of life. The tilt function is for pressure relief, though you can also get things like elevation so you can raise and lower your chair, and some of them can recline flat. There are other avenues of moving grade 3 power chairs beyond the joystick as well in case someone can't use their hands or doesn't have them. (Head controls, torso controls, and straw controls called sip and puff are alternatives.) They can go on a little worse terrain than group 1 and two chairs and go a little farther, but if they get stuck they weigh 350 lbs and it's awful.

There's a few other types of mobility aid that I don't know enough about, like ankle foot orthotics and gait trainers, but these are the basic "mobility aid" most people will come across.

If you use another type of mobility aid and want to educate people, add it on!!

[skin-slave]

Grooming is when someone builds a relationship, trust and emotional connection with a child or young person so they can manipulate, exploit and abuse them.

Grooming Can Look Like:

1. "Is that your real name? I don't really like to call people by their usernames."

Asking for personal information right away - It gives a false sense of intimacy and can be used later to threaten or blackmail.

2. "I see you like Band. My parents hate them. 😂 Do your parents know your music tastes?"

Segueing quickly into private life, sometimes asking invasive questions about home, friends, family, etc - It tells them whether or not a person is isolated, unhappy, self-destructive, unsupervised, etc. The more vulnerable a person is, the more successful grooming can be.

3. "I like your fan art. Do you do nsfw? Nothing crazy, just flirty..."

Bringing up sexuality or other adult subjects in a general way - It pushes the person's boundaries gently, getting them to talk about nsfw things in a way that feels nonthreatening.

4. "That post made a good point. I would never guess you're 14. You're really mature and well-spoken."

Describing the person as mature, smart, wise, resourceful, street-smart, etc - It's flattering, and it gives the illusion of equality and respect in their interactions.

5. "People hate what they don't understand. You're just so unique. I get it."

Reinforcing that the person is unique, misunderstood, above others, etc - It increases isolation and forms a sense of dependance on the groomer.

6. "Omg look at this guy's outfit! It's so hot! You know, you could totally rock something like this!"

Sexualizing the person in flattering ways - It feels like a compliment and edges farther past typical boundaries, normalizing more and more sexual interactions.

7. "That guy was out of line. 😤 I couldn't help it, I messaged him and told him if he doesn't leave you alone I'll doxx him. He won't be back. He knows I'll do it. Please don't be mad, I just hate when people mess with my friends... "

Defending the person, often inappropriately - It's a show of devotion to the person, a display of the potential for aggression that serves to nudge boundaries, and can be used to threaten or coerce later.

8. "I'm totally with you on Ship X. It's so bigoted to break up Ship Y like that. We ought to try to get those freaks banned."

Creating an other to unify against, often inappropriately - It creates a sense of intimacy and serves as a way to push boundaries by encouraging inappropriate behavior.

9. "Idk why you let her waste ur time. U don't need phoneys like that. You have me!!! 😂"

Discouraging competing relationships - It increases isolation, vulnerability and dependence.

10. "Listen, don't worry about your phone bill. I got it. Sent it thru your Kofi, plus a little extra. You deserve it."

Giving gifts, money, or paying bills - It creates a sense of intimacy, and possibly financial dependence. And it can be used as a source of guilt.

11. "Where are you??? Tell whoever you're with that I miss my bff!!!!!"

Checking in, keeping tabs, tracking or asking for updates - It diverts the person's attention onto the groomer, interrupts their social life to further isolate, and creates a pattern of guilt and responsibility for the groomer's feelings.

12. "I can't believe you'd abandon me like this. You know I have depression. Are you trying to make me suicidal? The least you could do is give me a couple weeks to find a new therapist. I'm gonna need one now."

Threatening to harm themselves, or implying that they might if contact ends - It plays on that sense of guilt and responsibility and can be used long after abuse has happened, to prevent disclosure.

Grooming doesn't happen by accident. By definition, it's deliberate. When someone begins grooming, they have already decided to abuse. From that point on, interaction has one goal. It creates a situation where the person being targeted has conflicting emotions about what's happening, no one they trust to give advice, and no way to break out without being the bad guy.

The setup - the grooming behaviors themselves - vary. One abuser might use many approaches, and might even change methods if a target isn't receptive. I think we can all agree that guilt-tripping and displays of aggression aren't healthy under any circumstances, but many common behaviors are things that can happen outside of grooming, in other contexts, and be ok. (An old friend might give generous gifts purely out of friendship, but someone who's practically a stranger, giving generous gifts, acting like an old friend, is potentially predatory.) That's why it can be so hard to see. We can't simply ban their tools or latch onto keywords. There are no elements that are always present. There's no set pattern. There are few flags that are always red. It's not that simple.

The only reliable and realistic way to keep vulnerable ppl safe is to teach them to recognize potential grooming by looking at the entirety of the situation, to trust their feelings, and to speak up.

[onelessidiot]

Thank you.

[i-say-ok]

ok!

[thestarseersystem]

The literal shame that comes with littles being more public is extremely damaging.

Like, I don't know if y'all had the childhood I had. But it did not feel safe to be a child. My littles are incredibly covert and feel immense trauma and pain with being silenced, ignored or told that they cannot exist.

At 5 years old, I was afraid of saying "Mommy" or watching Blues Clues because it was "childish". That is fucking damaging for children.

So y'all acting like other systems can't show or talk about their littles, can be a form of retraumatization. It literally is for me.

I hate all these rules and regulations too. I had to set major boundaries as a child because I was given no power. Tsuki had to be an adult for us, we screamed "No", she said "no" because no one was allowing us to exist freely and stomping over us constantly.

Stop policing other systems with their littles. I don't care what you fucking think is appropriate.

What is appropriate is not to harm other people. And this is harmful for us.

My littles are allowed to know what adult things are. We had to grow up too fast, so they already know. Don't fucking test me.

[goatpunches]

Are people just… requesting random art stuff?? Can I join?? Can I see Wen Ning x Zhuzhi Lang? Two cold-bodied beans snuggled under a blanket together maybe???

The ship is so obscure but so adorable Coldhands deserves more content. No pressure though if it isn’t for you or if you’re too busy!!!!

they’re reading about bugs …

[goatpunches]

Are people just… requesting random art stuff?? Can I join?? Can I see Wen Ning x Zhuzhi Lang? Two cold-bodied beans snuggled under a blanket together maybe???

The ship is so obscure but so adorable Coldhands deserves more content. No pressure though if it isn’t for you or if you’re too busy!!!!

they’re reading about bugs …

[ghibli-stims-deactivated2024080]

🧸 -> Togetherness Bear (Care Bears: Unlock the Magic) Stimboard !

📦 -> with related stims !

📬 -> rqd by @justyouraveragealien !

📘 -> 🌈 - 🎉 - 🌈 / 🎉 - 🎉 / 🌈 - 🎉 - 🌈

🔓 -> requests closed ! rq info !

DNI -> NSFW/Kink/Bigots/Etc. I'll Block You.

[middleschoolfursona]

Brief moment of weakness

[hiiragi7]

Y'all really need to learn about DID more outside the context of alters. DID is not just "disordered plurality" - It is a developmental disorder, an attachment disorder, a posttraumatic stress disorder. It is comorbid with many other issues, such as somatic pain syndromes, physical health issues, and a variety of mental illnesses. It is a complex organization of symptoms related to the disrupted healthy development of a child, both in terms of their body and their mind. It is not just about the alters.

[traumasurvivors]

Why Childhood Abuse is Never Your Fault

Many people blame themselves for the abuse that they have lived through. This is a very normal way to respond, but the fact is that abuse is

Here's another article I wrote. You can read it below the read more if you prefer.

Many people blame themselves for the abuse that they have lived through. This is a very normal way to respond, but the fact is that abuse is never your fault. Whether the abuse is physical, emotional, sexual, or any type of abuse. It is not your fault. This is no matter what the circumstances of the abuse are, or what your age is when it happens. This article is going to focus specifically on childhood abuse.

Many people who have been abused blame themselves for reasons they have come up with themselves, perhaps on a subconscious level. One of these is because they feel it gives them a level of control. If there is something you could have done to stop the abuse, then you might feel that there are things you can do to avoid bad things happening to you in the future. It also might be a way to justify to themselves why it’s okay to keep a connection with their abuser, especially if their abuser is a parent or other family member. They may feel they owe loyalty to their abuser because they love their abuser and feel sure their abuser loves them. They may believe breaking bonds with their abuser would be a betrayal of that love. If you were abused by a parent, you may subconsciously believe that admitting your parent abused you would also mean admitting your parent doesn’t love you, which may seem more painful than blaming yourself.

Many abusers will make all sorts of justifications for why they acted as they did, but there is something you should always keep in mind when you hear such arguments: There is *no* excuse to abuse a child. Ever. For instance, some people may claim the reason they were abusive was due to an emotional reaction, such as feeling extremely angry. But no matter how extreme a person’s emotions may be, it is their responsibility to control how they respond. It is never a child’s responsibility to manage other peoples’ emotions, especially those of an adult. Many abusers are well aware of how to manipulate children in order to make children blame themselves.

People abused as children may blame themselves because an abuser has convinced them it was their fault.

If their abuser told them such things, they generally did so only as part of their plan to transfer responsibility and guilt to the one abused. Abusers know that if they make a child take on responsibility, it will make the child less likely to tell anyone and improve the abuser’s chances of avoiding being caught and/or facing consequences. You were not abused because you were “bad.” You were abused because they were an abuser and trying to justify their abusive behaviours. Abusive adults find ways to emotionally manipulate children such as making them feel they are unlovable or deserve whatever abuse they receive - this is not a child’s fault at all. Abusers know how to exert power and pressure on children and make those children believe there are very good reasons to stay quiet. No matter what reason an abuser may give, the only one to blame is the abuser.

A child may blame themselves because they did not tell anyone, but there are many valid reasons a child would not tell.

It may seem easy, as an adult, to look back at your childhood and think, “I should have told someone.” But the reality is that it is not so easy when someone is only a child. (And even in cases where someone is not a child, this can be unimaginably difficult.) A child may not have told someone about abuse because they were threatened. The child may have felt no one would believe them. If they felt like no one listened to them about other subjects, it might feel very unlikely that people in their lives would believe them if they accused an adult of terrible actions. The child may have been conditioned by their abuser to see their abuse as normal. If they thought what was happening to them was nothing unusual, they may have seen no reason to talk to others about it. The child may be convinced that they would be in trouble for the abuse that was happening to them and worry for the consequences.

The child may not have understood what was happening to them. They may not be aware it was abuse. If this was the case, they may have had no idea how to put it into words in order to tell someone. The child may think it's okay for parents to say whatever they want to them. The child may have felt ashamed of what happened to them. Particularly if their abuser told them it was “dirty” or they had heard about someone else being bad for doing something which seemed similar to what the child went through, they might feel they shouldn’t tell anyone about it. Related to this, the child may have been convinced, by their abuser or by being told they are “bad” for other reasons, that they deserved their abuse. This is particularly true if that abuse was framed as “punishment.”

Even for an adult going through abuse, reasons such as these can be very convincing. As a child, it can be even more difficult to decide to go against such reasons and tell someone about abuse, because it is harder to have the knowledge and understanding that allows a person to disprove these reasons.

Many children feel they are to blame because they let abuse continue over more than one incident. While it is easy to look back and say, “I could have stopped things after the first time,” the truth is that abusers have the power in an abusive dynamic, especially when they are an adult abusing a child. Most children feel very little power to stop the abuse in such a situation, and their abusers manipulate things to make them feel more powerless. Even if a child feels like there is something they could have done or their abuser told them they just needed to behave better, the truth is that they had very little if any power to stop things. If a child “behaved better,” and their abuser wanted to abuse them, they would find a way to say the child still “misbehaved” or find some other excuse to abuse them.

In cases of sexual abuse, there are other reasons a child may blame themselves.

When a child is sexually abused, that abuse may not feel entirely unpleasant. They may have enjoyed the “special attention” because it made them feel important. Every child needs love and attention, and to feel special, and abusers know how to use this to take advantage of children to get what the abusers want. The child may be convinced that this is a way they are shown love. The child may have experienced arousal or physical pleasure during the abuse, and believe this means they wanted it to happen - but these are physical reactions and do not at all mean it was wanted or is okay.

In some cases, they may have thought or even said they wanted it. Children are not mentally or emotionally ready for a sexual relationship and adults should be mature enough to understand that and should decline any such “offer.” Instead, abusers take advantage of children in these situations.

A child being sexually abused may be convinced that if they tell someone, they will be the ones in trouble. They may feel ashamed or any number of things.

There are many reasons a child may blame themselves for their abuse. This is not even close to an exhaustive list. A child may blame themselves because they didn’t say “no” or didn’t say it “enough,” or feel they didn’t fight hard enough, or acted submissively, or did things to try to please their abuser. None of these actions means the child was in any way, “asking for,” or condoning their abuse. They were trying to find whatever way they could to make their abuse stop or make it not as severe, or at the least survive it. A child who is being abused has very little if any power over the situation, and it is not wrong or shameful or in any way wrong of them to have done what they could to survive.

No matter what your reasons might be for blaming yourself, your abuse was not your fault. The only one who should be blamed for your abuse is your abuser. No matter what they or anyone else might have said, there is never an excuse to abuse a child. And there was no reason, explanation, justification, argument or excuse that would make your abuse okay or make you to blame for it.

It was not your fault. It was never your fault. I promise.

[middleschoolfursona]

scenedog lines f2u go wild

click here for a probs better download qual, and a ton of accesories + extra anatomy

[middleschoolfursona]

[middleschoolfursona]

Thinking of making a reworked version of this base as a PSD download so its a bit easier to use / choose parts