Edgar/Eden- He/She/Xe - Minor - CEO of @bugb34r - Literally just use this to dump things unrelated to my writing, which is what I mostly use my main for atm. (I don't rlly use my main at all tbh but shhh)
The autistic urge to spend all of my money on books
I just finished No Longer Human + The Setting Sun, had expected the setting sun to beeee. idk. it wasn't exactly what I was expecting but it was still p good :)
The autistic urge to spend all of my money on books
I just finished No Longer Human + The Setting Sun, had expected the setting sun to beeee. idk. it wasn't exactly what I was expecting but it was still p good :)
tmw you're forced into a social setting with someone who makes you incredibly uncomfortable every week for months at a time because you're both in an after school thing (theater), but you can't do anything about it bc they're like so highly praised and seen as cool by almost everyone else despite their poorly hidden ableism, and the one day you get a chance to talk about the issues you've been having with exactly that (ableism), they're there, and you're forced into a social setting with them, so, naturally, you get uncomfortable, and are very visibly stimming and they won't stop staring at you. very obviously. which just makes it worse. And instead of getting to hang out with my friends and genuinely provide as much input into the issues that I deal with at school, and the issues that have come up with staff members throughout the year, I have to go somewhere else because I feel so intensely uncomfortable and unsafe that it makes me genuinely ill.
Me: *mocked, ridiculed and bullied all through school for staring, not making the proper facial expressions, not understanding social interaction, and just 'being weird'*
Fictional character: *does exactly all that and is praised as relatable, quirky, fun, and 'oh my gosh, I want to be that confident and weird!'*
Is practically always masking, he doesn't realize he doesn't need to
High empathy, has a hard time expressing it
Bro's got some serious internalized ableism frfr
Hyperverbal but again, the internalized ableism is rampant frfr (resulting in him keeping himself from talking a lot)
Rambles a ton
Kinda guy to just know a ton of random unrelated information
Easily overstimulated by feelings (v frustrated = v overstimulated)
Hyposensitive to lights + sound
Gets frustrated when overstimulated
More shutdowns than meltdowns
Kinda guy to not realize he has shutdowns or meltdowns
Doesn't know he's autistic for like the majority of his lifespan
Doesn't know half the fatui are autistic, would find out through Dottore
Very blunt/direct. Tends to come off as rude
Very expressive, tho it's usually just anger or frustration that he's expressing
50/50 on tone
CEO of sarcasm
Most social cues are easier for him to pick up on because he notices himself mirroring them a lot
Doesn't stim a lot
Most of his stims are vocal/verbal ones (kinda guy to like the way his voice sounds when he's mad and talk in that tone as a stim even when he isn't mad)
Is very dramatic with his body movements
Compression = good sensory feeling
Likes having routines in place, doesn't like change
50/50 mix on whether or not he's masking, usually because he doesn't realize when he is.
High empathy, though most people assume he doesn't care half of the time bc he has very specific ways of showing it
Hyperverbal, is constantly talking and its always very fast and jumbled
Has a hard time expressing his thoughts, and often ends up rambling whenever he gets stuck
Loves to infodump, mainly to Scaramouche and Dottore (because he knows they don't care whether he does or not)
Neutral on eye-contact, usually ends up staring at people very intensely, and when he doesn't, he isn't looking at them at all
Very expressive, though his tone and facial expressions usually don't match up (is misinterpreted a lot bc of this)
Takes things very literally and then pretends he doesn't
Is pretty bad with social cues, makes jokes abt it
Loves hanging around Columbina because neither of them actually interact with eachother when they do, they just do their own things in eachothers company (hes very big on parallel play)
Likes to watch Dottore work because he likes to know how the process of certain things work
Easily overstimulated by sensory things (sound especially) and social interactions
Gets restless/antsy when overstimulated
V touch oriented. Finds it very comforting/grounding
More meltdowns than shutdowns
Doesn't stick to a specific routine
Fair mix of stims + fidgets
Fidgets with his hands a lot
Likes whole body stims (notably rocking and jumping)
Loves the feeling of water on his hands, but only on his hands (anywhere else is bad)
Special Interest in Marine Life (Specifically Whales frfr)
the way my hyperfixations pertain to my special interests so specifically is so.
idek, silly? to me? but not silly, I just use to word silly way to broadly-
but like honestly, who has a special interest in classic literature for half of their life, only to end up with a hyperfixation on a silly little queer fanfiction about irl authors that's lasted well over 2 years?
normalize indulging in your friends special interests and hyperfixations and having genuine conversations with them about it and actively engaging in things related to those hyperfixations and SpIns so you understand what they're talking about
sometimes I stop and realize how ironic it is that when I prefer he/him pronouns over she/her, i'm more comfortable being referred to as Eden, but when I prefer she/her over he/him, I'm more comfortable being referred to as Edgar
izzy806
prguitarman
baratheonpilled
areudirty
romaincrisis
discoholicmusic
