Edgeworth-Wright Anything Agency

Welcome to the Edgeworth-Wright Anything Agency! Affiliated with Isola Radiale Positions available!

[edgeworthwrightanythingagency]

“Looks like a lot of us have gone missing, including the very ones that used to run this agency... So unless they return, I’m going to have to take the position of leading this agency.”

“First and foremost I’d like to fire that goose. Don’t know why an animal was ever hired on in the first place, so this was a long time coming.”

[edgeworthwrightanythingagency]

“Attention everyone--because of the divorce this is now the Edna Anything Agency. I am your boss. Don’t ask what I do. Also my intern can now fire you. So behave.”

[edgeworthwrightanythingagency]

Name: Nene Yashiro Age: 16 Position desired: Intern (Prosecution)  School credit: Yes / No Any previous relevant experience: Noooot really, but I’ve investigated supernatural cases!!  Opinion on comic sans: I don’t use it, but it’s cute!

“Alright. You don’t use it--and you have no experience--which isn’t a problem as you’re an intern... But we could use more prosecutors in the office, even those who are interning. Welcome to the.....Edgeworth--”

“Edna.” a different voice interrupts from across the hall.

“Anything Agency.”

[edgeworthwrightanythingagency]

We are now hiring divorce lawyers, services needed immediately. Inquire within.

[edgeworthwrightanythingagency]

Type of help needed: divorce lawyer Do you have a particular staff member you want to take on your case? Yes / No Please give brief details about the case: My husband’s being a butt-head again and I want a divorce

“…Huh?”

Kou Minamoto is the first of the agency to find this request! Perks of being an intern: you kind of have to deal with things… like this. Confusion mars his expression, although it’s quickly brushed aside by worry. He heads past the offices, and, with a glance to check if they’re in their office first, goes to find…

“Er—Sahdmadhi-san? I think Wright-san sent this in. Do you have any idea what it’s about?”

–

Nahyuta is quite busy with cases that require actual attention. But they’re not going to turn away someone in need. They look up from the paperwork they’re currently doing, and hold out a hand to take the paper. 

“Wright? Let me take a look…I have no idea why he would be–”

Nahyuta’s face remains curiously blank. 

“…ノットヂスシットアゲン.”

And then they stand up, crumple the paper into a ball, and absolutely yeet it across the hallway to someone else’s office.

–

Kazuma’s busy as well, but is rather rudely interrupted from his work by a balled up piece of paper landing right on top of his work area. Already irritated from the interruption, Kazuma opens it up.

“Oh, for serious? Wright runs the place, he should know there aren’t any divorce lawyers here.” A bit hypocritically, he balls up the paper and tosses it into someone else’s space as well. “Last thing I want to do is get involved in a couple’s spat. Rejected.” 

--

What does Edna do at this agency, aside from have a goose as her intern?

Does anyone know?

Does Edna know?

Regardless, she’s the next person to have a piece of paper thrown on her desk (which is immaculately clear of paperwork). She unfolds the paper, reads over it, and smiles.

“Tell you what, Trash Man Lawyer. My intern and I will take the case. What do you say?”

[edgeworthwrightanythingagency]

@blvckblvr​

Type of help needed: Prosecutor Do you have a particular staff member you want to take on your case? No  Please give brief details about the case: KING KNIGHT STOLE MY IDEA AND I AM SUING HIM

“...Well, I, er... Because you’re suing it seems this is more suited for civil court than...criminal court. So I would recommend you...see a defense attorney. I will go ahead and point you in the correct direction....”

@bykaruma​ is willing to take your case!

[edgeworthwrightanythingagency]

"This is where these are supposed to go, yeah?"

Name: “Name? S’just Kunio. …Shit, that’s not gonna fly, is it…? Fine, Fuunji. Kunio Fuunji.”  Age:  “Eighteen. …Look; I’m legal, yeah? It’s fine.” Position desired: “Heard you guys got openings for Investiagators. The case-by-case type, yeah? I’m in.” Previous experience & qualifications: “Listen, I wasn’t even gonna try for Detective. I know that’s a hard refusal without a badge, and the red guy looks too intense to be flexible on it. And I ain’t had any official position before, either. But let me give it to you straight: if you’re looking for someone who’s got more than his share of licks beating the streets looking to track down a lead, putting his neck on the line against thugs, crooks and killers, I’m your guy. I’m confident in that.”

“…Heard rumblings you guys don’t settle for half-measures and only want the truth. I respect that. I can be pretty abrasive, but I think I can be a team player with that kinda ideal.” Opinion on comic sans: “…Ain’t that usually for the Sunday funnies? Ah, whatever; no skin off my nose; you do you.”

“Hmm? I thought somebody else was answering the investigations applications- No matter, I will handle this.”

“Anyway, you’re correct. Eighteen is a perfectly reasonable age for the job, and I’m more concerned with your merit and your worth than a silly concern like age. I do find your lack of official certification concerning, but your experience looks impressive, and if we can fit in a goose of all things I believe we should have room for you in our agency. Consider yourself hired.”

[edgeworthwrightanythingagency]

Name: Juuzou Suzuya Age: 19 Position desired: Magician! Previous experience & qualifications: I performed circus acts for customers at the restaurant Mama worked for. I’m really good at sleight of hand. I can juggle and do card tricks and play the shell game and escape from handcuffs and do backflips… probably other things I’m not thinking of, too. I’ve never sawed anyone in half like they do on stage but I really want to try one day. Opinion on comic sans: I love it! It’s the best font there is!

   “Um,” Yes, indeed, they’ve been advertising magicians. Athena frowns; they’d had one special exception that turned it from a law firm to an anything agency, and now there were several? “Y-yeah! Looks good to me! You’re hired!”

   “Just know that you may want to look for volunteers and assistants either around fellow magicians or outside the agency.” A reassuring smile, as she momentarily forgot to do so. “Welcome!”

[edgeworthwrightanythingagency]

Name: Haruka Saikai Age: 15 Position desired: Intern (Investigations!) School credit: Yes / No Any previous relevant experience: I helped solve a couple of cyber crime cases back home! Particularly those involving a fairly well known hacker group. Oh! I was in the middle of helping investigate a big case too! Opinion on comic sans: It’s a font? A fairly overused one too. For some reason people hate it, yet I’m not really sure why. Some people think it looks unprofessional, while others don’t? I don’t know. Oh, right, my opinion of it… To be honest I don’t really hate it, but I don’t use it often.

Oh thank god this child just wants to be an intern.

“Okay, well...I now know what comic sans is, so thank you for that. I...don’t know why it’s a question on our job application or why I’m answering these but I’d be glad to have another investigations intern. We have quite a few detectives, so I’m sure you’ll learn a lot from...all of us. Welcome to the agency, Haruka.”

Wait, aren’t you that kid that made fun of me for totally not being scared of seven year olds--

[edgeworthwrightanythingagency]

Name: … I’m known as Mello.

Age: Twenty, why does it matter?

Position desired: Detective (or one rank above whatever Near is)

Previous experience & qualifications: You’ve probably heard of me, I was on the news for blowing up a building. This is just one example of how far I would go to solve a case. Hire me.

Opinion on comic sans: I heard Near likes it so I hate it.

“You kids sure are weird about giving out your names...” And they’re weird names at that. 

“Also, um...I’m not...like, trying to tell you how to live your life, or whatever, but if you hate this Near kid so much are you sure you want to be working here?”

In addition to that, what the actual fuck was that about the qualifications and experience??

“...Uh...I mean...I? I guess you’re hired? Please...don’t blow anything up at the Agency, though, I don’t think the Mr. Edgeworth-Wrights would be too keen on that.”

[edgeworthwrightanythingagency]

A new form and option has been added to the Edgeworth-Wright Anything Agency! As our agency is now...very staffed (but always taking more applicants!), we are offering a specific form for case assistance, now located on our forms page!

Do you need a lawyer to help you with legal issues? A detective to investigate a mystery for you? A magician for whatever reason you need a magician? Edna? Then feel free to send in a request and one of our staff will be glad to help you with all your needs!

[ OOC: The new form is an optional (but not necessary!) avenue for plotting threads! If there is someone from the agency you would like to plot a case thread with, feel free to request them (and please probably get in touch with them via their preferred means of contact as well) on the blog as sort of formality for threading purposes! ]

Positions | Submit | Applications and Case Request Forms | Staff

[edgeworthwrightanythingagency]

Name: Jester Lavorre

Age: 20-ish? (I traveled a lot and lost track of my birthday and we went into this magic ball where time passed by faster so things might have gotten weird)

Position desired: Detective (or a Magician if you need those more I don’t know)

Previous qualifications and experience: I was part of a detective duo with my friend Nott and we investigated all sorts of spooky stuff like a frog demon who was turning people into zombies and portals that were being opened into the Abyss, and we solved all those cases SUPER well.  I’ve also got all kinds of spells but I guess technically most of them are taken away for now.  I can only do healing magic right now but eventually I’ll be able to use a spell that forces people to tell the truth and one that can let me scry on people based on physical evidence to find where they are and what they’re doing which I think would be really super invaluable for solving crimes!  I know that being able to do them right now would probably be better but I’m still a really good detective without those spells and I’ll be even better when I get them!  So you should probably hire me so you have me around for when I can do all that stuff again.

Opinion on comic sans: I don’t know what that is but it has the word comic in it so it sounds fun!

“Sorry, what? You solved what? You can use what???? What the fuck??? What the fu--”

Date gets the odd ones, doesn’t he. It seems everyone applying to be a detective at the agency is 50 levels of hardcore. 

“Alright, you know what? Your paperwork is in order. I’m highly confused and also terrified of your magic powers or whatever--you’re both a detective and a magician. Congratulations. Also I have no idea what comic sans is so we’re in the same boat, I guess.”

[edgeworthwrightanythingagency]

Name: Octavo

Age: 22

Position desired: Magician !

Previous experience & qualifications: Easy, between cursing an entire country to move to a rhythm, and an arsenal of my own elemental magic, it’s meant to be.  Not to mention most all of my instruments are imbued with magic elements.

Opinion on comic sans: who is sans and why is he a comic???  what does this mean?

“Hold on, what do you mean by ‘cursed an entire country’?”

“...despite that, all of your paperwork is in order, and you’re clearly qualified to be a magician, so... welcome to the agency, Octavo!”

...

“And don’t worry about comic sans, you’ll learn on the job.”

[edgeworthwrightanythingagency]

Name: You may call me Near

Age: Eighteen

Position desired: Detective

Previous experience & qualifications: I have extensive detective experience, having been trained to solve cases since I was a very young child. Where I come from, I have a reputation as the world's greatest detective, having even solved a case that the last person to hold that title died attempting to solve. I don't usually work with law enforcement directly and will only take on cases I think will be fun or exciting but I will most assuredly be an asset nonetheless.

Opinion on comic sans: I think it looks inviting, if a little childish.

"What is with these kids applying for detective jobs...? Also where are you getting this experience so young?? Alright, regardless, I can't deny that a title like 'the world's greatest detective' is well earned, so we'll...be glad to have you. Uh...yeah, welcome to the Agency?"

[edgeworthwrightanythingagency]

[Instead of a properly filled form, it got a huge gibberish, not one that a detective could decipher, but more as if some goose danced on the keyboard and sent the result like that.]

[It’s probably for the best to just deny this application and move on, but at least this gibberish was written on comic sans…]

“…Hired.”

[edgeworthwrightanythingagency]

Name: Naoto Shirogane. Age: 16. Position Desired: Detective. Previous Experiences & Qualifications: I helped solve the serial murder cases in Inaba & have assisted my grandfather in his cases for years. Opinion on Comic Sans: Vile. Disgusting. Reminds me of an old colleague.

“Um...still not sure why I’m answering these applications... But I’m highly interested in the fact you helped solve serial murder cases. No idea about that comic sans thing, though. ...Are you seriously 16? What the fuck why aren’t you in sch-- You know what? You’re hired.”

[edgeworthwrightanythingagency]

Name: Lynne Age: 21 Position desired: Intern (w/ investigations) School credit: Yes / No Previous experience & qualifications: I used to be a detective, but I feel like everything leading up to that job was… kind of wrong? I’d like to start fresh instead of jumping right back in on everything. Happy to assist! Opinion on comic sans: It’s a very cute font! I like it!

“Wait…why am I processing this job application? Do I even work here? I…do?”

What the fuck. Boy this sure is awkward.

“Um…sure, I’ll be glad to take you on as my intern! Welcome to the…Agency? I guess? Also sorry about...um. Everything before. Hope we can move past that and grow as colleagues or something.”