Egge @eggez - Tumblr Blog

colinarmistead

why be a magical girl when you can be a magical cheeseburgirl

felixfeliccis

Did your center of gravity change before or after surgery?

It changed today afterthey took of my bandages this is so scary

butterfly-sapphic

Damn how much did they remove

felixfeliccis

Im just head n legs now

tranquilbird

You're the original surgerywalker

grimeclown

I got a job at a gas station across from a casino and a guy keeps coming in to buy whole cartons of cigarettes and talks in the third person calling himself "snake eyes pete" and every time I tell him his total hes like "tell ya what if old Pete rolls a snake eyes why dont you give it to him for free?" and he rolls the same set of loaded dice on the counter and it does not matter how many times he rolls snake eyes I will not give him the cartons for free he gets so mad

grimeclown

Snakeyes Pete is from Toronto he gave me a button once that said "Canadians have the best luck" and i said i thought that was the Irish and he said "I fucking hate the irish" and i said okay

lazarus-lazuli

babe wake up new none pizza with left beef just dropped

clowniconography

this is one of the more creative hate comments i've seen and i felt the need to immortalize it

ordinarysparkplug

telling a vampire "youre not allowed in my house anymore" and they get blasted out through the nearest wall

tomb-mold

have you noticed that everything depends on various factors

tabloidsores

Two dudes in my group chat have been playing league & slowly but surely have shifted from saying "wanna play league of legends" to "wanna play some geego legends". At this point their average post is just @ing the other and going "geegogagand?" and I feel insane

tabloidsores