I'm Frankie, she/her, in my 30's. I've been neck-deep in Tolkien since kindergarten, Silm specifically since I was about 12. I've been writing for most of my life, but was in a 10-12 year block until starting Atandil, so I'm incredibly grateful to this community for helping me get back on my writing feet. You can find me as EilinelsGhost on AO3.
A blanket permission statement for transformative works based on my fics can be found here or on my AO3 profile.
What's Here
Finrod, Finrod, and more Finrod (tied in a million philosophical pretzels and distinctly un-sparkly)
Finrod/BĂŤor (Look, I hated the ship one minute, re-read the Athrabeth with it in mind to prove how much it wouldn't work, and the next minute had my entire brain consumed by these two to a frankly concerning degree. They are my absolute bestest boys.)
The Atandil Series: the ever-expanding slow burn that took over my brain after the aforementioned Athrabeth reading. Find the masterpost for that series here. All things Atandil are also nestled under the #Atandil tag.
My Tolkien art, which you can find under #frankie draws.
My Writing
You'll find all of it here on AO3, but some of my favorites are linked below:
The Atandil Series is pretty much everything right now (series masterpost), but that will expand eventually once this thing stops eating my entire brain.
AtanatĂĄrissĂŤ: my 2023 TRSB fic and darling of my heart, written to accompany @anerea-lantiria's absolutely stunning art.
Little Lords of the Brine: Orodreth has at last returned from the Halls of Mandos and Finrod navigates the precarious path to reconciliation and mourning.
A Bitter Wine: another 2023 TRSB number, this one a treat in sonnet form featuring Eärendil recalling the beaches of Arvernien where he walked with Elwing as a child.
I initially shared part of the playlist in response to this ask, but I've realized I should just make a main post for it that I can keep updated as the series grows. The playlist is intended to go along with the Atandil series and includes one song per installment.
1. Fantasia on a Theme by Thomas Tallis || Ralph Vaughan Williams, HallĂŠ, Sir Mark Elder
So as I mentioned in the summary, this is basically the theme for the whole series. It has such a breadth of emotion and beauty in it, and it makes me tear up almost every time. I love this piece so much. And consequently it's really fitting that it's also the primary one associated with Part 1, since that is sort of the flagship installment of the series where all the philosophical framework gets laid out.
2. Gravity || Ludovico Einaudi
This piece captures so much of the movement from Grief in All Her Guises. It conjures up the movement of the river in the opening scene, the butterfly that began the Quenya lessons, the laughter around the fire at lunchtime, the sound of Finrod's voice as Balan experiences it moving through him on the hilltop, the overarching movement of the stars dancing overhead.
3. Child of the Troubles || Andrew Simon McAllister
Tragically this one no longer plays on Apple Music or Spotify, but I linked to the artist's page in the song title where you can stream it. This one is the partner track to Unfriends and Belen's run-in with the Laiquendi.
4. The Fall || Hans Zimmer
Just such excellent Fen of Serech vibes here, especially the 2nd half. I literally listened to this one on loop while writing Ye Shall Render Blood and it is the whole mood of that installment.
5. Solringen || Wardruna
The whole piece works well as the right feelings for A Shuddering in the Air, but specifically the chunk beginning at 4:44 was the underlying inspiration for the way they deliver the "oath of parting" in the burial rites at the end.
6. Night || Ludovico Einaudi
Appropriately named musical accompaniment for Here in Our Frailty, which takes place all throughout the Longest Night. Additional excellent vibes as that sometimes the warbly effect on certain notes reminds me of the haunting ice sounds that I listened to on loop for the Finrod-has-a-freakout section.
7. Flora || Ludovico Einaudi
Ok so apparently half of this playlist is just Ludovico Einaudi, but that's because his stuff is great. The peaceful vibes of lying in a golden field while your crush drops a snowdrop flower on your face and flirts while completely clueless are all over this one, so it's the partner piece to A Heady Fragrance of Honey.
8. Into Dust || Mazzy Star
This is my ultimate doomed mortal/immortal relationship song. The only explanation needed here is honestly to direct you straight to the lyrics. It even references fading. Absolute perfection and the correct level of abject sorrow for In Memory Untarnished.
9. Citizen of Glass || Agnes Obel
This one is just Correct for Vassal somehow. I'm pretty sure it is this line of lyrics that solidified it for me: Some let go and some hold on / There is no mistake / If I could wash all ill away / Tell me would you stay? But also it just has all the right feelings to it, if that makes sense.
10. Time Escaping || Big Thief
Happy road trip music for the boys! Or. Well. Extremely depressing road trip music for the boys given the context and the song title and the mortality and um...god can't these two be happy for one second. Happiness I guess, much like the installment this goes with, is A Shifting Mirage.
11. The Path of the Fossils || Ludovico Einaudi
He's back, folks! As I said - apparently half the playlist. But anyway, I love the recurring waves of impending emotion that continuously come back throughout this piece. It works so well with the barrage of feelings that both Finrod and Beren work through in Many a Dreadful Path. And in addition to that, the title plays very nicely with the shelf of memories and Beren's recollection of Emeldir telling him, âKnow the path your forefathers set so that in such grounding you may see where your own should diverge.âÂ
12. NĂşmenor || Bear McCreary
I have...complicated feelings re Rings of Power (to put it mildly), but thankfully those have not killed how much I love this piece from the soundtrack. In fact, it's so thoroughly associated now with Balan's arrival in Nargothrond in Children of the Sun that I almost forget it very much belongs with something else.
13. Change || Big Thief
So much of And Still the Light Returns is about each character navigating change in the other(s) or their circumstances that this just seemed appropriate. Also uh: Would you live forever, never die / While everything around passes? / Would you smile forever, never cry / While everything you know passes?
14. Stretch Your Eyes || Agnes Obel
It took me quite awhile to land on one for In These Holy Waters. But about halfway through writing it, this song came on in an old playlist and immediately clicked. It's the movement of the water in the melody, the mingled mournfulness and defiance. The dark and the ghost / They dance so sweet and slow / Dug-out from below there / to damn the gods
15. Song with No Name || Johnny Flynn
This album came out right as I was working on Darkly the Sundering Flood and I don't know that I could have found more perfect lyrics to sum up this whole installment than these: As I search for the solace the hills might give me / Heavy the tread of the dead on the way / The path in the rain, in the sun, won't gleam / And the ground is made with death and decay / And an echo of the ones who've walked before me / And joy for the ones who've walked beside me
16. Quene Note || The Henrician Consort
Honestly? This one is vibes. I just really like it. It has all the tense melancholy I felt while working on No Gentler Pain.
17. Logos || Ludovico Einaudi
Our guy returns again! I'm pretty certain that listening to this piece was what gave me the entire idea for this installment. The bit from 5:00 to the end is, well, no spoilers if you haven't read this installment yet, but it's the feral!Finrod bit.
18. River, Mountain and Love || Johnny Flynn & Robert Macfarlane
Well this whole installment felt like a tone-break from the rest of the series, so why not also have a playlist number that feels the same? I am always and forever obsessed with this album. Won't you tumble and dance to the bluebell sea? / Won't you melt back down, won't you come home with me? / River fed all the ferns who unfurl in the old love of spring
19. Petricor || Ludovico Einaudi
At this point I'm just embracing that this guy is basically the soundtrack of the series. Anyway, this one has all the eeriness and beauty that I think are inherent in the Girdle - from the slight almost-dissonant notes of Balan's experience to the lulled calm the Elves seem to have at the start. Then growing in urgency along with Finrod's anger.
20. Ni || Wardruna
It has the melancholy and feelings of ritual that, for me, weave all throughout Far Have You Roamed.
21. Oltremare || Ludovico Einaudi
This one is another that's just vibes for me. Something about it meshed with the spirit of the installment, especially the parts where Balan is thinking back on Andanahti-marei, as well as Baran's conversation with Finrod.
22. Jon Bayl's Reel || The Renaissance Players
This isn't quite the style of music I imagine the Atani playing here, but it captures the joy of it all and the way it all pulls into dance.
23. Darkness, Darkness || Solas, Moira Smiley
Darkness, darkness / Be my pillow / Take my hand And let me sleep / In the coolness of your shadow In the silence of your deep / Darkness, darkness / Long and lonesome / Is the day that brings me here / And I have felt the edge of silence / And I have known the depths of fear / Darkness, darkness / Hide the yearning / For the things that cannot be / Keep my mind from constant turning / Towards the things I cannot see [âŚ] And I have felt the edge of silence / And I have known the depths of fear / Darkness, darkness / Be my blanket / Cover me with the endless night / Take away the pain of knowing / Fill the emptiness of right now
24. Run || I Virtuosi Italian
This one's all in the name: The eyes looked back at him, canny and unsparing as they forced on him that knowledge which was his already: that he had felt his restraint slipping and had fled in fear, embracing a mimicry of himself as though by outrunning the truth he might know it not.
25. Year-Long Winter || Johnny Flynn & Robert Macfarlane
Is this the sun? / My eyes are open / The day has begun / My senses are woken / And no fear, only strength / To the cracks and the links / And the demons retreating / Can never be beaten / The prison is shifting / The lighthouse grows twisted / Though we slip on the screen / Of two steps in three / And the memory of pain Is a tightly held token / Smooth through the rain / And the light has shown me how to let the hope in
26. Lento || Daniel Hope
[preview of upcoming installment]
I think something seriously missing from Peter Jacksonâs portrayal of the elves, something that Tolkien stresses almost every time he introduces an elf, is how joyful they are.
The elves of Rivendell, Mirkwood, etc are all portrayed as extremely jolly people. In the Hobbit book, when we are first introduced to the elves, theyâre singing in the trees and teasing Thorin and co. Even when weâre introduced to the Mirkwood elves, who live in a much more dangerous environment, theyâre feasting and singing to the barrels as they float down the river. Even after fighting in a war, their spirits arenât dampened.
Tolkien stresses the joy of elves so much that it is used as a fucking narrative device to show when a situation is really really bad if even an elf is upset about it.
Elves are also meant to be a comforting presence to the reader, they are a kind and friendly folk and we know that the characters arenât in danger around them.
Peter Jackson just kindaâŚ.misses all of that??? The films portray the elves as stoic and mysterious. All of the elves that he portrays rarely speak, let alone smile and it takes away from such a vital cultural aspect to the elves that they are an extremely warm and happy folk and it is their happiness that lifts the spirits of others and inspires them to carry on despite all the hardships.
When I caveat many of my research points about Tolkien (e.g. thereâs no evidence that he knew/meant that - that we know of) is because thereâs still primary material that is out there and that we havenât seen yet. This is a case in point: newly discovered letter by Tolkien to be sold by Christieâs (details here: christies.com/en/lot/loâŚ). Exciting new information about Middle-earth and Wales (something Iâve lectured on in the past for Literature Wales, in an outdoors âliterary walkâ right by Crickhowell!) and on Ents (see my previous two pieces in my âslowâ LotR re-read series!) More anon! đ´ó §ó ˘ó ˇó Źó łó ż
a precious stone you say? shining brilliantly of its own inner light? found deep within the earth and engendered such feelings of possession twas akin to madness?
really love how stressful the hobbit is for everyone outside of thorin and company. to be sure they are all stressed as well but for more grounded and expected reasons. like danger to life and limb and the question of what to do about the dragon. gandalf has a to do list a mile long, half of the boxes related to ancient evils and concerns about the origin of precious dwarf stones (and also the dragon too to be fair). im sure everyone was much relieved when bilbo produced an entirely normal precious stone from his pocket (if not a very beautiful one) before they too regained the capacity to be concerned for more normal things. like bilbo's life.
secret look at whats underneath all of the paint and more charcoal and more paint and more charcoal and more paint and m
Thanks to @from-the-coffee-shop-in-edoras for tagging me to share a a WIP snippet. So from the next installment of Atandil:
When NĂłm had once attempted to explain this affinity of souls, Balan presumed it was simply that one moved through life with two sets of senses, those innate to the self and those innate to the other they joined. But the actuality of it was something quite different from his anticipation. He did not perceive in double, at least not in the way he conceived of it. This was a chord, not a duet. An added note to the existing senses, a deeper resonance within his own. It was the silk of NĂłmâs skin that Balan felt as his lips traveled down to the otherâs hips, but there was an elation singing within it, a shivering brightness that arose, he knew somewhere within himself, from the tickle of his beard against that selfsame flesh. And he knew too that it was as much the warmth of his own hunger for this as it was the otherâs thrill at the touch of his mouth that called up the sharp gasp, or caused the NĂłmin's strange, half-holy swears to slip in ragged whispers from the kingâs lips.
Is this how itâs meant to be? He had murmured the question at some point in the night, NĂłmâs head pillowed upon his shoulder with one hand casually tracing patterns along Balanâs chest. The half-felt sense of the otherâs perception hummed within him as NĂłmâs fingers trailed through the coarse hair and Balan nudged that feeling toward the otherâs mind. Or would it be more distinct wert thou joined with one of thine own kind?
In truth, I know not. NĂłm had drawn one finger along his breastbone with a smile, up over his neck, hovered at the summit of the chin. Iâve never wedded another. He had walked his fingers to Balanâs mouth and traced the bottom lip from end to end, and Balan had shivered with the mingled sensation. But I am happy, I am content. Art thou not?
No pressure tags to @sallysavestheday, @thelordofgifs, @melestasflight, @hobbitwrangler, and @that-angry-noldo if this sounds like fun!
Thanks to @kylobith @ffigwit and @hobbitwrangler for various WIP update tags! âĽď¸ The ficlets Iâve been playing with lately are often too short to excerpt, but I am also still (slowly) working on my piece about how the uncertainty of Gwindorâs fate after the Nirnaeth ruins his parentsâ marriage when they have very different reactions to it. (Cheerful!)
**********
In the end, it always boils down to this, the knot of opposing hopes and fears that is now snarled at the heart of their marriage. Lindis has made a fragile bargain with herself, accepting the unthinkable for the solace of finality, and Guilinâs insistent optimism constantly threatens to rupture that bargain. But there is no anguish in the world that Guilin would not stomach for the chance to reclaim his boy â his last boy â again. To wish their child dead feels like a betrayal of the very idea of fatherhood, one so profound that his mind can barely stand to even consider it. He does not want their son to suffer, but neither would he add to Gwindorâs suffering the knowledge that his own father did not hope until the end of time to somehow get him back. He will not allow that. He cannot.
And so the knot grows ever tighter as each one pulls tirelessly from their own loose end. Grief is about learning to balance the need to hold on with the need to let go, theyâve been told. But when they cannot manage both, the only option left is unyielding struggle.
In the early days all the fighting is about Gwindor, or proves to be once the brittle veneer of other concerns is pierced. But the discord soaks ever deeper into the bond between them, and soon they find that they can fight about nothing at all, needing no provocation to find fault with one anotherâs words, actions, expressions, thoughts. He is a willfully naive fool, she is cold and uncaring. It makes little difference when they try to draw back, to lessen or avoid a confrontation that they can both feel coming. Somehow it always happens anyway, almost against their will. They can feel the cliffâs edge nearing but cannot stop their feet from carrying them right off. After all, what is one more grief at this point?
**********
No pressure tags to @lady-of-ithilien @emyn-arnens @eilinelsghost
toss stones at me in the street i'm making a post about idril but talking about maeglin for several paragraphs. also throw stones at me because i'm talking nonsense about elves again.
the craft maeglin is known for is metalwork, it is the distinction given to him and the skill that he is praised for, and it is the distinction granted to his house when he is granted his own official lordship. the idea that idril would match or outdo him in the one thing that is most valuable about him, that anyone would do this and render him obsolete but particularly her, plays heavily on his fears of usefulness and making himself invaluable to turgon. in reality its not as though turgon would be rid of him even if he were useless. as his sister son and as a resident of gondolin, maeglin will not be going anywhere even if he wished it to be so. but the need remains to make himself valuable, to earn the respect and the safety from the individual who as of yet holds power over him.
the uglier part of him that needs to have mastery over everything cannot stand that it would be her encroaching on his craft. he can have anticipatory satisfaction at taking this from her and comfort taken in knowing that he will be the one to take this from her. But the knowledge curdles in him that he will only have this by taking and knowing that her skill is something she has and very well might still have even if she is kept from exercising it. the satisfaction in taking is diminished knowing the truth of it is he's threatened by her.
his projection of his father as someone who was all powerful completely overrides any self-awareness or consideration of the possibility that maybe his father's domination stemmed from the same insecure place as his own does. in being his child and not his spouse and coming from a perspective where eol always was superior to him because he was a child, he's still looking at the specter of his father through this lens of being below him. they were never on a footing level enough for him to interrogate why it was that he did what he did and what made him do so. and he holds fast to what was ingrained in him by his father regardless of where he finds himself now, as an adult, when it would not be impossible to attempt to look back and make sense of what his father had done. because these lessons can still hold true if he holds to them. he is praised for his usefulness and rewarded for his loyalty to his uncle and he is rewarded with control. and where these beliefs are challenged with the limits of his control or limits to what he is allowed he grows bitter and resentful at being denied what he believes is his due. (and frightened at the possibility that for all of his work at being someone valuable and necessary, this does not actually guarantee anything. if this hasn't earned him his safety, then what must he do to have this? it must be that he is due what he cannot have, because then it is only a matter of being denied, and righting a grievance. nothing fundamental has changed.)
all of this had a point and it was to explain the nature of idril's armor as small pieces fitted together as opposed to larger unmistakable pieces. small things are easier to make in small bursts and smaller amounts of time, smaller amounts of materials to squirrel away. harder to assemble in the mind as belonging to armor when they could more plausibly be used as pieces of adornment or anything at all. even if maeglin is not there to witness her at her work he is still present in the home of her father more often than she would like and if not his eyes, then other eyes will see her at work and might unthinkingly answer his questions when he asks after her. if their eyes see small works of little note then that is all they will speak of.
and she wants to believe nothing will come of being seen at the forge and of creating what she will, that she could just as well be doing all of this less carefully. that there were no need for it at all, but she can't shake the wrongness. though he hasn't said what it is he holds in his heart she knows that there is something off about maeglin in regards to her forgecraft. and even if she were looking too far into that, is she looking too much into how often he asks after her? how often she finds him close at hand? is she thinking too much of his presence in a home that is his? where he is welcomed and loved? is there something within her that creates such suspicion where there is nothing? does no one else share her fears, is she alone among those that love him as they ought, with her own love unfairly withheld?
behaving in this way treads the line of paranoia, which she knows is her inheritance from her father, but when she is so sure that things are not right and she has the means to act, she cannot stop herself from acting. if nothing comes of this then nothing comes of this, she carries out her actions in secret and none will know if nothing comes to pass, but how is she to sleep at night feeling with her entire body that something is wrong?
Whatâs your favourite part of the Legendarium that was abandoned, discarded or otherwise not considered strictly canon? It can be a character, timeline or event or even something more abstract like a name change or just a line!
Feel free to use your own preference and discretion as I know discussion of what is canon can be thorny!
Thanks to @thelordofgifs for the tag! Here's a bit from the the upcoming Atandil 26:
Finrodâs laugh rippled out again as Balanâs gaze drifted back to him, wide-eyed and cautious as though still half-convinced he had not truly wakened. âYou look at me as though I am a phantom,â he quipped, shifting to Taliska and arching a brow in feigned complaint.
âAye, so you areâphantom, spirit, apparitionâŚâ Balan regained his voice at last, a strange giddiness rising through him with the torrent of joy, and he pushed up onto one elbow, prodding the other doubtfully in the chest. âYou seem solid enough.â
âNaught but flesh and blood, my love.â Finrod grinned up at him from the rumpled nest of pillows. âThe fact of which I should be glad to remind you, have you forgotten it already.â
It was Balan who laughed now and slipped his hand beneath the otherâs neck, turning so that he rested against him and looked down into his face; and as suspected he found the king attired in the same manner as he. A blaze of fire joined the giddiness in his veins and he leaned down to brush a kiss against the waiting lips.
He had meant to follow it with a jest, some wry responding quip about feigning inattention that he might be granted the lesson, but all such thoughts fled at the touch of the otherâs skin. There had been a boundary before, defined edges where Balan ceased and NĂłm beganâdisregarded of course and more often crossed than preserved, but the demarcation had nonetheless existed. Now it was like plunging beneath a river where any movement was wrapped within the current, or where two halves of clay were smoothed till the seams were indistinguishable amidst the whole. He had been overwhelmed by it, he recalled, shaking and dizzy in the small hours of the night when each touch had carried with it the harmony of the otherâs senses, every joy had rung out with his loverâs jubilance, echoing one to the other and compounding like voices through a canyon till he had lost all bearing save the grasp of the otherâs arms.
They encircled him again now and, as in that first discovery, his heart pounded as though it would burst. Dizzy, he wrapped himself around the anchor of NĂłmâs body; and dizzy, he kissed the parted lips, the brow, the lids of his eyes and the sharp line of his cheekbone, sun-painted with the latticeâs pattern in the morning light.
No-pressure tags for @sallysavestheday, @hobbitwrangler, @melestasflight, @ulmondil, @julijbee, and @nynevefromthelake to share any WIPs (writing or art or other) if that sounds like fun!
Tagged by @mdaaaang to share a snippet, thank you! :) Hereâs a bit of part 46 of tfs:
But eventually LĂşthien says, "You need not take Curufin's words so much to heart, you know."
"I did not," says Maglor, surprised. "The worst mark he left was on my throat, believe me!" He lifts his chin to demonstrate; the bruises left by his brother's fingers are already yellowing.
"He called you an Oathbreaker," says LĂşthien.
"Well, I am one," says Maglor.
âYou seem,â says LĂşthien, and she hesitates uncharacteristically, speaking as though she is choosing every word with care, âless⌠troubled by it. More settled in your choice, I mean.â
âI think I am glad,â Maglor says slowly, âto have realised that I had a choice at all.â
âYou did,â LĂşthien says at once, âyou did!â And she turns a brilliant smile upon him. âYour shackles were only ever what you made of them, Maglor.â
And Iâll tag @eilinelsghost, @leucisticpuffin, @melestasflight and @emyn-arnens if any of you would like to share!
