El Mambo

sometimes i feel the music is the only medicine.

[el-mambo]

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Kendrick just floats.

[el-mambo]

shit like this is why i love the internet. no idea who these dudes are, but they are 1) dope 2) creative and 3) hilarious. was listening to a podcast (Latino USA), heard a snippet (like 5 seconds in the background, without any info on what song it was, yes i am good like that) and was like wait, that’s a cumbia. but wait, that’s also the imperial march. so i shall share with y’all. mind blown. you welcome.

[el-mambo]

the gawd LD.

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i hope yeezus dies and brings this kanye back from the dead.

[el-mambo]

SON. i’m all in.

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say. hello. to. the. bad. guy.

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let's. fucking. go.

[el-mambo]

Ain't No Justice - It's Just Us

“but how far am I ahead of ya? /

it just as easily could have been me instead of ya”

This probably won't be coherent but fuck it I'm not editing it. Will give it as much time as the prosecutor took in preparing for that grand jury.

It will be difficult to look my coworkers in the eyes tomorrow. Not out of shame, but more so disgust that I will undoubtedly be the only one at my job that will care about what transpired with the Mike Brown tragedy. No one else has really discussed the tragedy over the past two months, and it may be that they have no idea what has been going on. That in itself is a microcosm of a reality that is true in America in 2014 as it was in 1620: the lives of non-whites do not matter.

Now, those lives may matter to some, but not nearly enough . Sadly, where and when it counts - the legal system, society as a whole, government actions - only whites enjoy true citizenship, true protection, true equality. I wish we could blame this on anything else other than race, but in the most basic of terms, Michael Brown is dead because he was black and Darren Wilson is free because he is a white police officer. Yes, race is a social construct, but that fact alone does not impute the impact and determination it has had in shaping and reforming and destroying this country.

In times like this, when I am reminded that my life is determined to be valueless, I think of Redford Stephens. I think of some of my cousins, I think of the young lives lost to bias, I think of the lack of empathy so strongly lacking in our society.

I went to prep school. I went to college. I went to law school. I passed the bar. I have never been in trouble with the law, never fought in crowded bars, never stole a god damn thing my life. I have always proceeded to be just another quiet dude who goes about his business and tries to treat others  the way he would like to be treated, with respect and dignity. Yet I sadly think about the fact that if god forbid I were gunned down tomorrow by some random fuckface cop who was trigger happy and saw how I dressed and how I looked and would take me for a thug.

Then I would think about the way the media would portray me. A basic criminal, regardless if the truth nowhere near resembled that. They would bring up that I'm from Lawrence and the troubles the city has faced over the past twenty years, how my living in other cities and towns could not prevent the streets from claiming me. They would bring up my Dominican background and the connections my people have to drug dealing in this country. I'm sure they could find some sentence or phrase or quote from my social media and exclaim "Look! Look at the music he listened to, the people he looked up to, the sneakers he wore, he's just another thug hiding in plain sight up to no good." No professor or employer or friend that had something kind to say about me would matter, their words would fall on dumb ears, just whispers falling at the feet of those suffering greatly from selection bias. My accomplishments and impact on those in my life would fall short as it would already be too late, I would have been transformed from an innocent victim to a monster, one deserving of a violent fate, all the while absolving my killer from any wrongdoing because the justice system would have his back.

My clean record, my academic accomplishments, the support from those who actually knew me wouldn't matter one fucking bit, because a recurring bloody history has determined that my death would be legitimized by the state.

Change will not come through social media, or blog posts, or the anger that many such as myself are feeling right now. Not sure where it will come from, but it needs to happen. More people need to care, more people need to hold those in power accountable, and more of us need to feel deep down in our hearts that the lives of the discriminated disparaged discouraged and (currently) depressed matter too. Otherwise, we just ants under the magnifying glass of a demented individual who enjoys the suffering of those who are different. To that individual, and especially to Darren Wilson tonight, I say fuck you. We all we got.

[el-mambo]

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Run. The. Jewels.

[el-mambo]

not really, but it would be a start.

[el-mambo]

this gives me life. i left work to go fight crime.

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cobie.

[el-mambo]

bonez.

[el-mambo]

havoc.

[el-mambo]

fuck. the. police.

[el-mambo]

I'm A Mothafucking Monster

if it doesn't apply to you, imagine waking up every day feeling like a vampire. a myth. something that people only read about. and when they get confronted by it in their every day life, they disregard its existence and rather fall in love with a lie. from junot diaz:

“You guys know about vampires? … You know, vampires have no reflections in a mirror? There’s this idea that monsters don’t have reflections in a mirror. And what I’ve always thought isn’t that monsters don’t have reflections in a mirror. It’s that if you want to make a human being into a monster, deny them, at the cultural level, any reflection of themselves. And growing up, I felt like a monster in some ways. I didn’t see myself reflected at all. I was like, “Yo, is something wrong with me? That the whole society seems to think that people like me don’t exist?" And part of what inspired me, was this deep desire that before I died, I would make a couple of mirrors. That I would make some mirrors so that kids like me might see themselves reflected back and might not feel so monstrous for it.”

[el-mambo]

Invisible, Man.

it is often difficult to articulate things in a manner that will not only generate discussion, but understanding as well. in times like these, you just have to use the words that resonate with you and hope that it might spark a thing or two in others. from ralph ellison: It is sometimes advantageous to be unseen although it is most often rather wearing on the nerves. Then too, you're constantly being bumped against by those of poor vision. Or again, you often doubt if you really exist. You wonder whether you aren't simply a phantom in other people's minds. Say, a figure in a nightmare which the sleeper tries with all his strength to destroy. It's when you feel like this that, out of resentment, you begin to bump people back. And, let me confess, you feel that way most of the time. You ache with the need to convince yourself that you do exist in the real world, that you're a part of all the sound and anguish, and you strike with your fists, you curse and you swear to make them recognize you. And, alas, it's seldom successful.