What hath science wrought?!

Hey, look, a description. And it only took me like three years.I'm Victoria, 29, asexual slacker with rheumatoid arthritis and an unhealthy obsession with shitty puns. I'm bad at remembering to tag things but let me know if you really need me to make the effort. I'm also pretty bad at conversation but you're welcome to try. Sometimes I make things out of paper or yarn.I can also be found at @unidentified-disaster-bastard if you are looking for fandomy things (I will warn you, it is mostly The Magicians atm).

[mindllessdreaming]

and the winner of superwholock is officially??? no one. we all lost. congrats team

[buggyhuman-blog]

[rabbiteclair]

auto immune disorders happen when the immune system ignores regulatory factors and begins attacking healthy bodily tissues, due to what scientists refer to as "sheer love of the game"

[akashicrecord]

evil One Direction: bitch you fuck up my world like nobody else

[akashicrecord]

You have turned this glory hole into a hole of dishonor and you must leave immediately

[bisexualcreature-deactivated202]

lvl 1: the plural of octopus is octopuses because the plural version of a word is the word with an s at the end

lvl 2: the plural version of octopus is octopi because if a word ends with "us" the plural version replaces the "us" with "i" e.g. cactus -> cacti and fungus -> fungi

lvl 3: actually, that rule is only for latin words. octopus is a greek word and the correct plural is octopuses or octopodes

lvl 4: actually, language is descriptive not prescriptive. since enough people over time have used octopi as the plural for octopus, it's a valid plural

lvl 5: the plural of octopus is octopeese, like geese

[punished-venom-solitair-e]

my favorite phenomenon on tiktok is when all the comments will line up and start doing the same bit

[javert]

i could not eat a dozen fried eggs and would never want to do so. but i almost certainly could accidentally eat a dozen deviled eggs if i was at a party or perhaps a picnic and they were there. they are a highly dangerous food item in this way

[phaeton-flier]

The devil's greatest trick was convincing the world he doesn't exist. His second greatest trick was that egg thing hoo boy those are good

[10001gecs]

Post cunt

im posting as fast as i can. and dont call me that

[un-father]

[dunmertitty]

i get that’s it’s not always obvious when i’m on my lunch but you’d think people would notice not to bother me when i’m hunched over eating a vegetarian burger like that bitch eating his son

hold on what is this gif

[imsobadatnicknames2]

I think it's really funny how the practice of bleeping out profanity is not only completely ineffective as a censorship tool, it's had the opposite effect of creating an environment where it's ridiculously easy to edit apparent profanity into footage that doesn't actually contain it. Like you can just grab any audio or video clip and bleep out anything and people will automatically mentally insert profanity in there it fucking rules.

[kyleblackpaw]

my favorite example of this is the count's song from sesame street where they censor the word "count"

[longseasons]

all these excellent books come from some random penguins house?

[egberts]

*shagcula voice* it vasn't me

[egberts]

she caught me in the coffin. vasnt me

caught me hanging in the belfry. vasnt me.

she even saw me stick my cross in. vasnt me

i didn't show up on camera. vasnt me

[macklesufficient]

[spookedstarzz]

got that dog in me and mitski has been showing financial interest in it

[lizzienoodles]

guy who's having gauzy idealized wife flashbacks for the whole adventure but it turns out she isn't dead or anything he just really misses her and wants to get home

[dogpuppy]

[clownboybebop]

Those sick fucks at Ocean Spray will mix anything with a cranberry

[zooophagous]

Gandalf the Grey and Gandalf the White And Monty Python and the Holy Grail's black knight And Benito Mussolini and the Blue Meanie And Cowboy Curtis and Jambi the Genie Robocop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk, and Darth Vader Lo-pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger Bill S. Preston and Theodore LoganSpock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan finally caught up to the sonova bitch