Cream Of Thot Soup

Lily, 28, (She/They), I'm just doing my best My Youtube My Spotify

[anarqueeen]

Turning the cuck chair around backwards to show I'm not like your other, boring cuckolds

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

*youth pastor voice* you know who else got nailed while all his friends watched? that's right,

[meanbuddhist]

*turns my attention inwards* mmmmm. no *turns my attention back outwards* oh god

[fragranticareviewers]

[isawken]

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

[bluelois]

Blue Lois

[isawken]

can i help you

[redmarge]

Red Marge

[isawken]

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[isawken]

i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me

[strawberry-seal77]

time loop with two people in it but one person refuses to acknowledge the loop and pretends to be looping with everyone else. meanwhile the other person is freaking out

[spinchs-field]

accidentally wrote “never mill yourself” like yeah i don’t think anyone would do that unless they’re wheat or perhaps a rice

[spinchs-field]

what the fuck happens in Magic the Gathering dawg

[that-house]

[innerchildabortionclinic]

i'm so tired of social media users saying "successful people are abusing stimulants". unsuccessful people are too. #WEMATTER

[ooppo]

Your heart is not true enough to enter the gates of Margaritaville

[localpubliclibrary]

It's literally crazy luck that I've only ever come across nails ever since I got my hands on my awesome hammer

[balaclava-trismegistus]

You have to pee in the shower to get into heaven

[balaclava-trismegistus]

Every time.

[mutationgirl]

to the miscreant teenagers in aisle 2 who pulled a stepladder out from under the shelves to take feet pics posing on the stepladder: what was that about? it's been several years and i still have no idea what compelled this. my coworker and i played rock paper scissors to decide who had to tell you to please stop taking feet pics on the stepladder because it was a liability issue. it was noon on a weekday. you were sheepish, but not ashamed.

[fairycosmos]

your problem is you think if you communicate with clarity and earnestness that people will actually understand you

[sreegs]

the existence of uncanny valley would suggest there is also a canny mountain

[radwolf76]

Canny Mountain, Charlie!

[eroscestlavie]

This just pissed me off so baaaad 😂

[feastofsnakes]

hey sorry I snapped at you, I've just had a really hard day and [remembers focusing on myself is selfish] maybe it's your fault for provoking me?

[thecryptkeeper]

i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”