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@eldritch-whaler
falling asleep during the day: slipping away on a clouds so easy
falling asleep at night: I heard an ant gasp downstairs
classicists will make the ugliest least functional website in the history of html and it will contain the entire library of fragmentary papyri of the works of aeschylus. for free
i am learning about so many beautiful websites from this. they are like horses to me
my most Millennial trait is that i want big screen to think properly. to compose my thoughts. app exists for your thing but no website? bad bad bad not good for think, need big screen for think. i wrote this post on the small screen btw
Yes I know you mistrust the banks, milord, and I don't blame you, but their Vault Wizards are specially trained to prevent dragons from detecting large amounts of gold. I cannot emphasize enough that it's a full-time job employing multiple specialists, I'm not trying to be humble here but it's not something that just the court magician and I can set up a couple wards for on the weekends and call it good.
It's, it's just that dragons are the primordial embodiment of avarice wrought into fire and flesh. They are truly, supernaturally good at finding large amounts of valuables, that's why the big mines hire those Dragon Scouts to go sniff out their lairs and mark them on the maps as potential mining ventures. You know, in case someone slays the relevant dragon. Which doesn't happen often because, milord, they are simply not that easily slain.
No I know you've hired many knights, blooded warriors and true. Yes, I was there when you gave the ten most impressive ones their special sashes. Very grand, very high honors, of course. Ehm. It's just, none of them have ever actually faced a dragon. Yes no I know Sir Edbert says he did but Sir Edbert is rather notoriously prone to exaggerated and tragically unverifiable tales---
Well no milord of course I would not doubt the word of a sworn knight. Perhaps his sobriety, but not his word, as such.
The point is that the grand treasury, while surely grand and a very special notion, is just... it is mayhaps not the ideal way of handling the realm's finances? Perhaps a series of smaller vaults, capped well below the dangerous wealth threshold at which gold is known to whet the appetite of colossal winged harbingers of death, in different corners of the realms or...?
No, I, yes well I do realize that will impede anyone's interests in coming into the vault to hurl around the gold coins and go "whee, I'm so rich!" I am aware of its deficiencies as a plan in that regard. No, I see I've misjudged a few things.
Actually, thinking on it, milord, I truly believe what you need is a fresh set of skilled wizards on this job. The court magician and I, we cannot keep up with your visionary thinking. We're too old-fashioned. But the wizards revolutionizing the eldritch academies seem to be more on this sort of level. I hear they've made some truly remarkable choices in terms of outsourcing all of their spellwork to the Ever-Whispering Void, such that it takes mere minutes for them to set up an entire defensive array. That's just the sort of innovative thinking you require.
Though it will grieve the court magician and I to leave your service, perhaps this is a sign that retirement is overdue. So I'll just... be moving further away from the big pile of gold... in the opulent, dome-shaped building with the crystal skylight... best wishes.
Actually no how the fuck is it august
Pack it up everyone youâll never be this funny
Happy âhow the fuck is it augustâ to those who celebrate!
How old were you when you first had a grandparent die?
I wasn't born yet
less than a year old
1-5 years old
6-10 years old
11-20 years old
over 20 years old
I don't know/it's complicated
results/no grandparents have died yet
doing research in the field of humanities is interesting because there isnât necessary this paradigm of the most recently published studies are by definition the best that you get in the hard sciences, like sometimes that book published in 1909 really continues to be the best foundational text about 1590s amsterdam, but then again sometimes iâm reading a text published in the 60s and it starts describing italian culture as âorientalâ with no further discussion and iâm like hmmm maybe i should find something a little more current
several asks in my inbox about the nolan odyssey now that it's out so i will make my One Obligatory Post and so that i can be free to pass through the gate of false dreams and never think about it again
personally i have stopped caring about the movie itself in terms of whether it's a "good" version of the odyssey. there are things i have heard about it that i think are kind of dumb choices to make but i also like my odysseus to suck bigly and unrepentenly and tbh the version of odysseus in my head is not a very homeric one at all! it's more informed by things like the philoctetes and the aeneid because i personally find those depictions more interesting. there are also things i've heard that intrigue me but i refuse to pay money to see this movie
what i find is more important to focus on is the conversations about things like the treatment of shooting locations or the fucking iranian artifacts turned into jewlery for an american actress to wear while the us is actively waging war against iran. just as any ancient telling of odysseus's story, the nolan odyssey does not exist in a vacuum. i'm sure there are interesting things to analyze in the movie as a story but personally the issue that concerns me more is the analysis of this movie as a way for the classics to once again be interpreted and used by someone from a powerful colonizing nation for entertainment while actively appropriating aspects of other cultures. like it feels like heavy handed satire at this point except it's real. if we're going to give this movie critical attention i just think this is more important to think about than whether the movie is "good"
also i think the trojan horse looks dumb as hell and troy 2004 did a way better job at it. which is saying something.
i never really got it when people made posts about light pollution and seeing all the stars for the first time and crying. i always assumed that everyone has gone on a road trip to a bortle 1.0 place and seen stars like that, and it's fantastic, but not like life changing. and then i went to europe last month and was in a mountaintop village of like 300 people and could see about 5 stars in the sky. like fewer than i can see from my home in a big metropolitan city.
my apologies to the non-africans, i did not realise how fucked your sky is
the thing that makes me mad about light pollution is that so much of it could be fixed by downward-facing light fixtures and doing that would also massively reduce energy usage bc all that light cast upward is wasted energy
i know i said i did not want to talk about the nolan odyssey but i do have one more nodyssey post in me. i actually think the idea of odysseus understanding his story as existing both in and out of a historic timeframe is a fun way to handle the liminality caused by the story being part of an extensive oral tradition. however having him say "our age of bronze is collapsing" is perhaps not the way i would have done that
People universally seem to parse it as Mean but sometimes what you really, really need to hear is "this is not a socially appropriate thing to say, and you should not have said it"
i know adrian is widely headcanoned as green. but they could really be any color
it is genuinely infuriating how many people grasp the concept of "there are several different sects of christianity, some of which are conservative and controlling, but others which are more progressive, and you can't treat the whole religion as a monolith", but absolutely cannot wrap their minds around the idea that islam, the second-biggest religion in the world, is also not a monolith.
YAAAAASSSSS QUEEN TELL IT LIKE IT IS THE RACE BLIND CASTING IS BAD AND CALYPSO IS A PATHETIC HYPOCRITE YASSSSS
sorry this was going to be a tags addition because I only get to use my coated pantone swatchbook like 6 times a year when i have a new enamel pin to design, but...
METALLIC GOLD PANTIES ????
Youâve heard of the Roaring 20s........
now get ready for the Screaming 20s - coming to a decade near you in 2020
is it too early or can we start screaming now
in retrospect perhaps we should have started sooner
this post is the equivalent of a newspaper from the day of the outbreak being blown past by the wind after you wake up in a post apocalyptic world
World Heritage Post
I have just enough knowledge about archaeologists working for the American federal government to write the most boring stargate: SG1 fanfiction ever put to page. Everyone be thankful I have not inflicted it upon you.
It would also be a good opportunity to set the fanon record straight a bit. Nobody in the archaeology world would be shocked about an archaeologist working for the Air Force. Working for the federal government is one of the most normal career trajectories for archaeologists in the United States. If you search âarcheologistâ (note, the federal spelling omits the second âaâ for some bureaucratic reason) on USAJobs right now, 5 open positions come up. Two of them for the army.
Granted, Danielâs a bit of an odd case since he got run out of academic archaeology first instead of coming up via the CRM track, but still.
âWhy would the Air Force hire an archaeologist?â Is the wrong question. They (and every other branch of the military) have dozens of others for completely normal non-aliens reasons. (And no, im not talking about contractors. People performing Inherently Governmental Activities are gonna be civilian GS employees.) Some of them attend SAA events every year perfectly normally. Better question: why has nobody from the Colorado State Historic Preservation Office, the Office of the State Archaeologist, or the Ute tribe met this guy?
#basically there are a lot of people out there who think they know what Danielâs job is #and also think heâs terrible at it #âWhat do you mean Cheyenne mountain has had an archaeologist for TEN YEARS and heâs never emailed us once?â #<- statements overheard at SHPO
#pffft#oh so not only do they think he's racist they also think he's completely phoning in his job#but also this is making me think about#Daniel Jackson Has To Actually Do CRM At Cheyenne Mountain Because SGC Wants To Build A New Hangar For Their Alien Spacecraft fic#Daniel Jackson Does Tribal Consultation and the Ute THPO doesn't actually /want/ to meet with him due to the Ancient Aliens thing#Stargate
(tags via specialagentartemis)
The really excellent thing is that even after he does [what everyone thinks is] his job publicly where they can see, theyâre still gonna think heâs been phoning it in this whole time because itâs so obvious from the way he goes about it that itâs not what he regularly does.
âWhat do you think he normally does with his time?â Says the person who just got their first ever in ten years email from Dr. Jackson. Itâs awkwardly phrased and missing about half the necessary information.
âWhile on the clock? Probably pitching to the history channel or something,â says their coworker. â2 Ancient 2 Aliens.â
âI donât know if thatâs better or worse than him writingââ she pauses to do air quotes. âââPyramids of the Godsâ on the taxpayer dime. This whole project is gonna be torture.â
[CUT TO DANIEL who is, at that very moment, actively being tortured]