aanya

hola aanya here! i love to paint n read literature. i have this huge thing for coffee. and am def a dark academia

[elentiya31]

Found someone so cute, he makes me wanna write on tumblr again 😭

[elentiya31]

Sometimes I wonder

If I were to look into the mirror

What will I see

Is it my own reflection that I will see

Or thro the eyes of others, a projection of myself

Will it be my own eyes looking back at me, or someone I don’t know

Perhaps someone with no love in her soul

Perhaps it might be a snuff person, a hideous heart with a seemingly organised life

Who will I find there

Who am I to me

And to the ones I have loved and the ones I haven’t as much

Who am I to fellow passer-by’s, to my maid, to my dairy man, to my neighbors, to my classmates,

Who am I, if not me?

[elentiya31]

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

i made mistakes. i sat with them. i hated them and hated me. i sat with them. i sat with myself. i started to forgive myself, because i reassured myself, “you won’t do this again. you never wanted to the first time. you will learn from this.” i sat with myself some more. “you are not unforgivable.”

[evastratt]

I am a friend to all cats. Yes even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

[elentiya31]

बस एक बार फिर मुड़ कर देख लो,

बस एक बार फिर हंस कर अपना कहे दो,

बस एक और

बस एक।

🤌🏻🤌🏻

: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :

One last time, turn back and look at me

One last time, just call me yours

One last time

One last.

[elentiya31]

16jan, 2023

Today u blew 18 candles,

N i wasn't there by ur side

Turns out they don't last forever,

Those promises to be there until the last ride.

[elentiya31]

Hey!! ( With the intention of watching Jodha Akbar together and falling in love)

[ameetwaa]

Everyone always talks about how empty you feel when you have depression, the extreme emptiness or numbness. I have yet to hear people talk about the times when you feel absolutely full. Yes, I have been empty but now I feel so full that I feel physically ill. I feel full of pain, of hurt, of anger. It feels all consuming and never ending. I can feel it in my stomach, my chest, my heart. My heart has an indescribable ache every time it so much as beats. What is the need to eat, when I feel full, this fullness does not come from food nor anything sustainable and yet I am not hungry. I feel so full that I cannot move, I feel so full that I cannot eat, I feel so full that it is spilling out of me. I feel it spill with the hatred and anger laces my tongue whenever I speak. I feel it spill when the tears fall from my eyes, hot and unstoppable. I am leaking this fullness because my body can no longer contain it. I not only feel the fullness inside me but I can feel it surrounding me. I feel myself suffocating and drowning in it. I am filled with feelings i cannot rid myself of, I am filled with the burden that others have put onto me. I am filled with the constant pressure of having to stay alive.

If this is what it means to live then I do not want it.

[elentiya31]

I wake up in middle of night longing for these arms

Longing for their warmth, longing for their protection

N most of all longing for the feeling of home.

[elentiya31]

A year ago today was the first time we talked

Little did i know, you were the key and my heart a lock.

Similar to two magnets we pulled each other back and forth,

But you were south and i was north.

I called u snitch, u named me goddess

You said i m evil, i thought you are cutes'

I searched through the crowd for you,

While all along you had your eyes on me

Just an hour in the hall,

And it all came back to me.

It's a curse to remember, but it's a bigger shame to forget

All our moments together nothing but silhouette.

And just like this poem i am gonna leave us incomplete,

Our's are the pages i never wish to repeat.

[elentiya31]

Our story...?

I don't miss u

But i miss what we had

I grieve for what we could have become

But most of all i despise what we had become.

I miss that eye contact, that blush, that hand, those fingers.

I miss that smile and those silly discussions.

But i rmbr those discussions as they turned into arguments we couldn't solve.

The future that we wanted to have turned out wasn't that strong.

Tears were shed, promises were broken

But most of all, it was our love that was forsaken.

[elentiya31]

[elentiya31]

[elentiya31]

And for a moment again i could feel the never ending fire in me,

And maybe she will be gone when the sun goes down and

When mood will arrive to tell tales of this cruel reality.

But i know i will see her again.

At this very o'clock tomorrow at this same place,

I know she will be here waiting for me.

[elentiya31]

When i first saw u, i fell in love

And u smiled, because u knew

[elentiya31]

There grows a flower in my heart that only blooms for the ones who dare to love me in the places where the sun doesn't shine.

🥀🌻🫀