This is definitely a plausible Hank moment, but only after a long episode of him misunderstanding and getting it ignorantly (but not maliciously) wrong at first, being distressed and confused about how he’s out of touch with the kids and gender ain’t simple like it used to be
right up until some rude asshole does this in his face and he needs to stand up for his friends / family and suddenly Understands the emotional crux of the issue
“And you have all these so called whistleblowers claiming the government is putting chemicals in vaccines and food to make you one of them transgenders or homosexuals. But I’ve never seen a transgender support the government or one of those so-called “gay frogs”, so it makes you wonder what THEYRE really putting in this stuff. All I’m saying is that Chelsea Manning went to prison and Mr. Rogan is a millionaire, and you always gotta follow the money”
“Tell you what man, talkin’ ‘bout dang ‘ol critical gender theory man, ‘s all a construct, talkin’ ‘bout man’s man and real woman but I tell you what man, talkin’ ‘bout when the lights are off we all just dang ‘ol people man”
summary: Once a world-renowned musician, Lucy Heartfilia put her violin away for the last time when she was seventeen. Five years later, she finds herself drawn back into the world of music after meeting a pianist with a fiery style of playing.
fandom and pairing(s): Fairy Tail, Natsu Dragneel / Lucy Heartfilia, minor Gajeel Redfox / Levy Mcgarden, others to be listed as they appear
Chapter Five: Run, Run
ao3 | ff.net
“I’ve decided you’re going to perform with me next week at Fairy Tail!”
For a full ten seconds, Lucy just started at him. Honestly, he looked so sincere with his one hand resting on his hip while the other nearly poked her in the nose that she almost just said yes through sheer force of his will. But as the words slowly registered and took meaning in her thoughts, the only reaction she could give them was to laugh. “No, I’m not,” she said, rolling her eyes and turning back away from him to place the book on the shelf. “What pat of ‘I don’t play anymore’ did you just completely miss?”
Natsu huffed. “I didn’t miss anything,” he grumbled, letting his hand fall to his side once more. “And I’m not askin’. You’re gonna play with me. It’s decided.”
“You can decide all you want,” Lucy said, still laughing a little at the absurdity of it all. Her? Perform at a bar? Her father would strangle her dead if he found out about that. “I’m not doing it because I don’t play anymore. I haven’t played since I was 17, and that’s not about to change just because you decided something.”
“Give me one good reason why you can’t.”
Lucy paused, turning back towards him with a frown. “Excuse me?” she said, laugh dying on her lips now. “Why should I?”
He had that insufferable little grin back, eyes twinkling with what she could only assume meant danger. “Because otherwise I’m just gonna keep bugging you about it,” he said. Natsu shoved his hands into his pockets, looking up at her expectantly. “Well, out with it. One good reason, and I’ll never ask again.”
She rolled her eyes a little, hopping off the stool. Natsu moved out of her way, but kept himself closer than she would have guessed a near stranger to feel comfortable with. “I don’t have to give you any reason other than ‘I don’t want to,’” she finally told him, hooking an elbow around the spreader of the stool to hoist it up. “Or are you always these pushy with people you barely know?”
Again, she heard Natsu huff. Lucy didn’t look back at him, somewhat awkwardly pushing the cart around the shelf and onto the next one a few stacks away. “Come on,” he whined, and she didn’t need to look back to hear the eye roll that followed. “You obviously have a nice instrument. Why not use it?”
“I just don’t, alright?” Her tone took on a sharper note than she intended, causing her to pause a little. Perhaps she was more like her father than she had realized. Lucy took a slow breath, turning back to face him. “I gave it up for a reason, and just because it unceremoniously found its way back into my life, doesn’t mean I intend on playing again. I’ve done just fine without it the last five years, thank you very much.” Natsu didn’t say anything, but he also didn’t leave her cart as she took her place back on the stool. Without thinking about it, she pointed out which book she needed next, and he carefully handed it to her without arguing.
For a few moments, it almost seemed as if he had given up on his mission to force her back into playing, but just as they once more reached the edge of the shelf, he finally spoke up, “It’ll be fun.” Lucy turned to him, eyebrows disappearing behind her bangs.
To her surprise, Natsu had taken on an almost sheepish look, mouth hidden by his scarf while he avoided eye contact. “Don’t you think? Getting back to the music without the bad stuff you left behind?”
Lucy blinked a few times, not quite sure what to say. Had she not been lamenting just earlier today about leaving behind the good when she fled from the bad? She turned away, tongue swiping across the back of her teeth as she tried to think of the right way to respond. Compared to earlier, Natsu seemed much more subdued, as if he was actually trying to ask her rather than simply demand. “Sure. It probably would be,” she finally admitted with a shrug. “But I’m still not going to agree to anything.”
This time, there was no huff. No dramatic whine or insistent request for a good reason why not. Natsu just watched her, half his face still hidden behind his scarf and eyebrows pulled together. “Don’t you miss the music?” he asked, voice going soft.
Again, Lucy found herself at a loss for words. No one had ever seemed to understand her connection to the music before. Not the judges that praised her technical skill, or her father who forced perfection. To her, it had never been about any of that. It had always just been about the music.
But with the music came the memories, and the nightmares, and the twinges of pain across her knuckles.
“Of course I do. But that still isn’t enough to convince me to play with you next week.”
Though she tried to make it sound final, Natsu was persistent. He continued arguing with her throughout the rest of her work shift, alternating between why not and whined please’s. With each attempt her made, Lucy rebutted with a firmer ‘no’ than the one before, refusing to relent to this. Even for the music. Even for someone who understood the importance of the music. Nothing he could offer her would be enough to convince her to play again after she had spent half a decade untangling herself from the fame. If Natsu knew she had been famous, it never came up and for that, Lucy was grateful.
Not grateful enough to change her mind. But grateful. And by the time she was walking out of the library, Natsu still following after her with an increasingly high pitched whine, her decision had never felt more solid.
“Alright, alright,” Lucy said, coming to a stop at the first crosswalk outside of the library. “You’ve made your case, and did so very adamantly. But my answer is still no. I’m not playing again, not ever.” He huffed, crossing his arms against his chest. “I mean it. It’s never going to happen, so you might as well give up.”
The crosswalk chimed at her that she was safe to walk, and Lucy didn’t hesitate, expecting to hear him walking beside her as he had been the whole afternoon. When she didn’t, she silently rejoiced in her apparent victory, sighing a little in relief.
“Lucy.”
At the sound of her name, she stopped - right in the middle of the street. Lucy turned, brushing some hair out of her eyes as the breeze picked up around them. Natsu stood at the corner still, hands shoved in his pocket and scarf tail fluttering behind him a little. To her surprise, he had a grin on his face. “I’ll see you next week. Be at Fairy Tail at about 5-PM and we can practice some. I’ll find the sheet music for the song I wanna play and shove it under your door, alright?”
Without another word, he turned on his heel and left her standing dumbstruck in the middle of the street.
Lucy stared after him, mouth slightly agape at the strange turn of events - after all that, and he hadn’t heard a word of it! Red splotches appeared on her cheeks, and she considered for just a second calling back to him to angrily remind him that she was most certainly not going to be there at 5-PM or any time next week no matter what he thought. However, a car horn startled her back to reality, and she hastily crossed back over, practically stomping the rest of the way back to her apartment.
As soon as the door was shut behind her, she let out an aggravated noise and flopped onto the sofa. Plue lifted his head to watch her for a bit before stretching out and joining her, tail wagging despite her clear irritation. After a seconds of pouting, Lucy finally gave in and ran a hand across the top of his head, scratching behind his ears the way he liked. “It’s ridiculous,” she told him. “In, like, two days, all the work I did to get away from that part of my life has completely come undone. Next thing I know, it’ll be Cana and Levy coming over with recording equipment to put me on Youtube or something outrageous.”
She said it in jest, but a small shiver zigzagged down her back anyways. Lucy groaned, head falling back against the couch as she tried to push the nasty thought aside. It wasn’t happening. Absolutely, positively, under no circumstances.
And yet…the idea was tempting. Like Cana had said, it’d certainly be one hell of a way to get back at her father for the years of pain and reluctant perfection. She knew that he wanted to come back, was certain that the only reason he wanted her to get the violin now after all these years when he could definitely have continued holding onto it was because he hoped that having mama’s violin staring at her from a corner of her room would force her back into playing. As if that had been the real reason she managed to break away from it.
Jude just didn’t get it. No one did, not even her friends. It wasn’t about wanting to get away from the music or distance herself from her mother; it had always been about making her own choices. All her adolescence, her father had dictated her every move. What she wore, who she saw, what pieces she performed. This wonderful thing that she shared so lovingly with her mother had deteriorated down into nothing, and Lucy didn’t think that a few years away was enough to reforge that. Not when her mother was long since dead and the memories she had of playing were so irreversibly tainted. Lucy sighed, rubbing the corners of her eyes as she tried to push it away.
Natsu was not going to get into her head like this. Not after she had finally found some semblance of peace in merely having the instrument back in her possession again. She wouldn’t allow it.
From her bag, Lucy heard the soft rumble of her phone vibrating and somewhat reluctantly fished through it to find it, expecting the worst.
From: Levy
(16:03) Okay okay so I talked to Lisanna a little bit more about girls night, and she’s actually free tonight if that’s alright with you!
(16:03) I know it’s last minute, but Saturday’s are like the only time any of us can get together anymore, so she kind of jumped right on it, you know? Erza’s free too, so it’ll be a party!
(16:04) But I know your schedule is usually kinda busy, so if you can’t, then we can definitely schedule something for next week instead!
Lucy stared at the messages for a second, trying to remember what she was talking about. Oh, right. Girls night. With Lisanna and the mysterious Erza person they kept mentioning. She glanced at the time and scowled a little; definitely short notice. But, maybe a night with her friends and some potential friends was just what she needed to get herself back out of this funk her dad’s text message had sent her into.
To: Levy
(16:06) Definitely last second! But, I’m down! Had kind of a stressful day at work, so I can definitely use some down time.
(16:07) Oh, fantastic! I’ll let everyone know! Cana’s dad is out of town for the weekend again, so I think we could probably go there? I’ll double check and let you know.
(16:07) Sorry about work, btw! Hope it wasn’t too serious.
(16:07) Whoever told Natsu where I work is getting strangled tonight.
(16:09) Uhh….
(16:09) Well it wasn’t NOT me?
(16:10) He said he wanted to apologize for something!
Lucy groaned a little, smacking her forehead against the device once. Good, well natured Levy, ratting her right out.
(16:11) Yeah, well, he apologized which was nice, and then proceeded to make the rest of his time there a problem.
(16:11) I can tell you more about it later, since I’m certain Cana will want to hear all about it.
(16:12) Ah…yeah, I’m sure she will. Sorry!!!
Setting the phone back onto the couch, Lucy looked around her apartment. Probably just a few hours of peace before they’d be meeting up. Already, her mind was running ahead with the things she’d need to do — pack an overnight bag, take Plue out, ask the landlady a few floors down to check on him before she went to bed, check the violin…
Lucy blinked, thoughts stopping shorting. She most certainly did not need to check the violin. It was safely in its case, hidden in the corner of her closet that she didn’t often check.
But, like Natsu’s piano melody, the thought persisted even as she tried to force it away. She had been rather forceful when she had shoved it back in here, what if something jostled it? Lucy bit her lip, reminding herself that the case her father had purchased for that violin was far, far too good a case to fail just because she didn’t gently set it down.
If mama knew you had treated it so carelessly, she’d be heartbroken.
The thought came unwanted, and Lucy groaned loudly as she pushed herself up. “Fine! One check! One check to make sure nothing happened, and then it’s going gently back into the closet,” she announced to no one in particular, stormed through the living room and into her bedroom. Still huffing a little, she slid open the closet door and rifled around for a second before she found the handle and pulled it back out in one fluid motion.
Once it had been extracted, she moved a little more carefully to set it on her bed, fingers running across the latches for a second. It had been five years since she’d seen it; could she handle doing this again?
Taking a deep breath, and knowing she was being beyond ridiculous on every front, Lucy hooked her thumbs under the latch and carefully pulled them up, almost reverently lifting the case open and guiding it back onto the bed.
Inside sat the worlds most precious instrument. Lucy let her eyes rake over it hungrily, remembering every single minor detail - every slight dip in the wood, every swirled pattern. The top curves were still a little lighter than the bottom, the dashes on the f-holes still worn down to almost nothing at all. Once, this had been her entire world. The world could only start when she played music, after all. Lucy let her fingertips run across the smooth wood, closing her eyes at the familiarity of it all.
When she was very little, her mother had sat her down in her music room and introduced her to it. It was an old friend, she had said. Passed down through her family for generations for nearly 400 years. Lucy could still remember the gentleness of her mothers eyes as she picked the violin up to show her how it was properly held, remembered the way her whole body leaned forward that first time she plucked a string to show her what sound it made. Lucy had been enraptured from that very moment, unable and unwilling to look away from the worlds most beautiful woman holding the worlds most beautiful violin.
Her own eyes opened, smiling a little down at the instrument as if it could see her. It was an old friend. An heirloom, just as her mother had said. Lucy had taught herself how to play on this very violin, even when it was far too big for her little hands to properly handle. But she had been determined.
She would play no other violin, learn no other instrument. Only mama’s violin.
Lucy sighed, shifting the case a little so she could sit on the bed as well, still carefully running her fingers across it. The strings were somewhat loose but felt rigid as if they hadn’t been played before, and she guessed that was the case. Leaving it properly tuned for that long could cause the wood to warp, and her father no doubt wanted to make sure it would be in pristine condition should she ever announce a return. Without thinking, she carefully pulled the velcro strap holding the neck in place free and wiggled her hand underneath it to extract it from the case.
For all her fighting with Natsu and the others, there was absolutely no denying that even just holding it again made her feel better. Whole. Complete. Like the world could start again if she could only be so brave as to draw her string across it once more.
Lucy swallowed the lump growing in her throat, setting it down on her knee standing up and carefully reaching for the upper pegs. The hand holding it steady plucked the E-string and she nearly winced at how truly out of tune it really was. That wouldn’t do. So she sucked in a deep breath and, with all the practice she had thought was long gone now, began tuning it again.
It was cathartic, in a way. Just plucking the strings until the notes came out clear and tuned. Lucy had always enjoyed the maintenance aspect of playing, had familiarized herself with the pegs and the fine-tuners well before she dared to play it. Only once that final string rang clear did she release the breath she hadn’t realized she was keeping, closing her eyes again. It was so close. Her fingers practically itched to play more, and she could already feel the tingle of her neck and collarbone where it would rest.
For a second, she nearly did it. Just to feel it again. Just to know if it would even feel the same as it did all those years ago, before the bad memories. Could it ever possible?
Taking another deep breath, Lucy set it back down. Not yet. Not now.
Her fingers trembled a little as she secured it back in place, double checking that the bow had not warped either before closing it and snapping the latches back shut. Plue had come into the room, trained as he was to follow her anxiety and make sure she was fine. He sat at her feet, watching her with his endlessly dark eyes as if a manifestation of her own thoughts - are you alright?
She didn’t know. How could she be, when she had just closed away the world once more?
Lucy rose quickly, keeping the violin in the middle of the bed as she stepped away. She couldn’t deal with this right now, not when there was a million other things that needed to be done before she disappeared for the night. So she carefully scooped it back up by the handle and put it back in the closet - carefully this time. Once it was secured and Lucy was certain it wouldn’t tip or fall over, she grabbed a small duffel bag and began to pack a pair of clothes to change into tomorrow, as well as a clean pair of pajama’s.
There was no time to worry about the lure of the music. She had friends waiting for her. Real friends. Not ones made of string and 400 year old wood. But, as she tried to ignore it, Lucy knew. Something had shifted. Whether she liked it or not.
She was definitely going to strangle Levy for telling Natsu where she worked.
honestly I’ve been struggling a lot lately and feeling very unloved and unwanted by people close to me and maybe it’s a little silly but Rave has become such a comfort series for me as a result
like I can go back and reread it and feel better somehow? Idk, shits bad, I’m glad I started the Rave channel and get to talk to people more about it
