PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Cosmic Funnies
Xuebing Du
noise dept.
shark vs the universe
roma★
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
🪼
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Peter Solarz
DEAR READER
occasionally subtle
h
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Mike Driver
wallacepolsom
No title available
$LAYYYTER
No title available
cherry valley forever
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@acomedytothosewhothink
a ‘hot minute’ can be both a very short period of time, and a very long one. however, a hot minute in the past (“It's been a hot minute since I've seen you!”) is most often a long duration, while a hot minute in the future (“I'll be with you in a hot minute!”) is most often a short duration. this suggests some very strange things about the temperature of time.
Doppler effect
This is definitely a plausible Hank moment, but only after a long episode of him misunderstanding and getting it ignorantly (but not maliciously) wrong at first, being distressed and confused about how he’s out of touch with the kids and gender ain’t simple like it used to be
right up until some rude asshole does this in his face and he needs to stand up for his friends / family and suddenly Understands the emotional crux of the issue
“And you have all these so called whistleblowers claiming the government is putting chemicals in vaccines and food to make you one of them transgenders or homosexuals. But I’ve never seen a transgender support the government or one of those so-called “gay frogs”, so it makes you wonder what THEYRE really putting in this stuff. All I’m saying is that Chelsea Manning went to prison and Mr. Rogan is a millionaire, and you always gotta follow the money”
“Tell you what man, talkin’ ‘bout dang ‘ol critical gender theory man, ‘s all a construct, talkin’ ‘bout man’s man and real woman but I tell you what man, talkin’ ‘bout when the lights are off we all just dang ‘ol people man”
"Well I think she’s a real classy lady."
1) Put four pills on each side. The heavier side has the pill. Take the four pills from the heavier side.
2) Put two of the potential pills on each side of the scale. The heavier side has the poison pill.
3) Take the two potential pills. Swallow one. If you survive, you are holding the poison pill. If you die, you have eaten the poisoned pill. Either way you will find out which one it is for sure
1) Weigh 6 of them, 3 on each side 2a) If both sides are equal, weigh the 2 you didn’t use before. 2b) If one side was heavier, pick 2 of the 3 and weigh them. Heavier one is poisoned. If they’re even, it’s the 3rd.
Well, all I can say is that we all have our methods and some of us are more willing to take a risk in the name of science
Oh, okay. I see. You think this has nothing to do with you. You go to your closet and you select out, oh I don’t know, that gaslight gatekeep girlboss meme, for instance, because you’re trying to tell the world that you think modern feminism has been co-opted by corporations. But what you don’t know is that that meme is not from Instagram, it's not from Twitter, it's not from Tiktok, it’s actually from Tumblr. You’re also blithely unaware of the fact that in January 2021, Tumblr user missnumber1111 posted, "today's agenda: gaslight gatekeep and most importantly girlboss." And then I think it was a-m-e-t-h-y-s-t-r-o-s-e, wasn’t it, who reblogged it with an image of the phrase edited over a piece of "Live, Laugh, Love" wall art? And then gaslight gatekeep girlboss showed up in the feeds of eight different Twitter repost accounts. Then it filtered down through Instagram and then trickled on down into some tragic “alt side of Tiktok” where you, no doubt, fished it out of some clearance bin. However, that meme represents millions of notes and countless Tumblr users and so it’s sort of comical how you think that you’ve made a choice that exempts you from Tumblr when, in fact, you’re wearing the meme that was selected for you by the people in this room. From a pile of “stuff.”
i believe "nothingburger" is the cowardly enemy of the humble and kind everything bagel
the unremarkable milquetoast sits somewhere in between
I think I'm gonna start using he/him for the moon on purpose now.
In many cultures the moon is a man and the sun is a woman or both are men or something like in Egyptian mythology your ideas about the inherent feminine nature of the moon are based in nothing
Yeah in my tribe the Moon is male. So maybe we're not all Romans.
I kind of want to make the sentence "so maybe we're not all Romans" into a pin.
Look, I would buy that in a second.
I just feel the need to point out that while we are all free to ascribe any gender we choose, or no gender at all, to the giant orb of non-sentient rock floating in the sky; there may in fact be a natural reason that many people associate the 28-day cycle of the moon with femininity. Possibly.
How long until Dr Oz becomes Surgeon General
motherFUCKER
https://abcnews.go.com/Health/dr-oz-trump-picks-lead-centers-medicare-medicaid/story?id=116028274
so hard to explain your personal inside jokes but. okay so every time i roll a joint i’m like hmm how much is left in the tray.. about a joints worth..
and then i get caught up thinking about a weed butler named jointsworth
thank you jointsworth
your sativa, sir
this isn’t about anything.
Folks, I'm afraid we do have to hand it to the Italians.
topical
I think it's stupid when people say political violence has no place in this country when our government uses violence against poor people every day. Why does a person sleep outside in the cold when the car dealership is heated all night? Why do people go hungry when grocery stores pack dumpsters with perfectly edible food? Because of the threat of violence. Because someone with a gun will show up if you even try it.
