(^;^) @elite-kawaii - Tumblr Blog

thanks to compilation efforts, three posts regarding the gneep gnorp population are able to be read together in a single post, and they are now the most documented species out of all creatures on earth

i-am-a-fish

it's five AM who WANTS me. who NEEDS me

i-am-a-fish

airport charged me almost six dollars for a god damn cokey cola wht the HELL

pukicho

I have a pair of oven mitts that simply do not work. You wear them and your hand still get burned through the mitt. What sort of clown hell world are we living in?

merimedefeauseaux-blog

I am relieved that I'd left my room tidy

Goodbye

itsapmseymour

Yknow,

I thought I had my finger on the pulse of internet stuff,

But today I have been informed in the media universe,

Hatsune Miku and Sonic are a couple????

baguette-whet

They had a kid once

itsapmseymour

Now that can’t possibly be-

EXCUSE ME?

elite-kawaii

What in DeFaque?!

petrykora

Meadow in the morning ☘️

Today I had to be at work at 6 am. When I arrived at my bus stop, this beautiful sunrise landing on the meadow delighted my eyes. Sometimes I really want to live a little longer.

i-am-a-fish

I hope fifty good things happen to you within the next 30 seconds. I love you so much

pukicho

One bird in my neighborhood starts chirping at 4am, way earlier than the other birds in my neighborhood. If you think about it, it’s actually really annoying, and it probably pisses off the other birds too, including me, who isn’t even a bird.

pukicho

What sort of beast do you see me as?

vanessagillings

Wanna be my friend?

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

used to live in a college town that was huge on sports. 80% of small talk was sportsball and so i developed an Evil Habit: whenever the conversation inevitably turned to the upcoming Big Game i would act excited and then confused. I would earnestly insist they had the details wrong. "the game next Saturday? don't you mean the Thursday after? playing against the [predator species]? no we're playing against the [other predator species]." And so on. i would draw this argument out for as long as feasibly possible, until eventually someone would pull out their phone to prove to me my wrongness. At which point I would squint exaggeratedly at the screen, slap my forehead in an eureka moment, and exclaim "oh you meant the MEN'S team!!! are they doing a game? that's nice."

i-am-a-fish

(a woo hoo)

woo hoo!

elite-kawaii

(a yahoo)

yahoo!

#i am a fish

pukicho

i named my baby after you

aww baby pukicho, destined for a life of misery

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

HATE when u can feel ur intestines writhing. cease your wriggling insolent belly worm

skyporf

WHEN do you ever feel that

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

the worms yearn for escape

leo-forgot-to-create

The worms are telling you to go see a doctor...

skyactually

@entities-of-posts the corruption/flesh?

purlturtle

After my hysto, I was in *intense* abdominal pain that didn't feel like wound pain from the ablation but something different that I couldn't explain, until the gynecologist told me "yep, that'd be your intestines rearranging themselves into the gap left behind by your uterus."

So there's a mental picture for you. Slither slither. Slither slither.

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

awwww, they were exploring their new enclosure 😍😍😍

rixdottir

That was the weirdest feeling, after finishing a pregnancy, you can just schlorp your organs around. In and out of your pelvis.

foxes-in-love

i-am-a-fish

I'm an anxious little fuck. I get scared

elite-kawaii

Hugs for de fish! Now Im soggy but worth it!

#i am a fish

i-am-a-fish

I would literally dismember myself for monetary value to have you answer my question.

What is your favorite type of water?

hello please don't do that My favorite water is sparkling water/ club soda please live forever anon

detectivehole

emperor kuzco was clearly gay

detectivehole

hes 19, with unlimited power, and he ain’t got a gf. the only time we see him interact with any women his own age is when he’s rejecting like 7 of them rapid fire. he pretends to date pacha in a gag that lasts like 10 solid minutes. listen to me god damnit

qqueenofhades

Okay, but just in case anyone is coming to tumblr dot com for my hot takes on 20+ year old kids' movies: Kuzco super WAS gay (or at least coded as such) and of course, I didn't get it until I watched it as a gay grownup.

He is played obviously camp and dramatic, for a start, and there is the aforementioned "hate your hair/not likely/yikes yikes yikes/let me guess you have a great personality" summary dismissal of all his potential brides. Then he spends dinner asking Yzma about Kronk ("so he seems nice? He's what, in his late twenties?") and otherwise being slightly obsessed with him.

Then there is the whole Adventure of Doom with Pacha, him being ever huffy about the Kiss of Life, and then the restaurant gag where Kuzco takes to playing Pacha's fake wife and dressing up in ladies' clothing with great gusto (reinforced by the waitress' "bless you for coming out in public" remark when Pacha says they're on their honeymoon). Then when he is finally de-llamafied, we don't see him paired off with the obligatory girl from the lineup earlier, as might otherwise be expected in a Disney movie. Instead he is still single, but goes to found family it up with Pacha, Chica, Kronk, etc, which dare we remark is a very queer trope.

In short, I have no idea how a Disney movie with no white people (all the characters are Indigenous/people of color), a gay king, cross-dressing jokes, and the most offbeat plot of all time actually ever got made (can you imagine the Family Friendly Mouse doing that today? Let us also talk about Kronk because he is a brilliant deconstruction of both toxic masculinity and the musclebound henchman stereotype.) Other than that this was the Chaos Hour of animated movies in the late 90s/early 2000s, and yes.

So yes. There you have it. I will not be taking criticism at this time.

flavinbagel

In response to the question “How did a movie like this get made at all much less by fucking Disney?” there was a recent Vulture article that outlines the whole shit show of a history behind this film according to everyone (writers, directors, VAs, Stings) involved. The gist of the story is that they fucked up making a whole, true-to-form Disney musical that never came to see the light of day SO BADLY that Disney switched directors, locked the writer’s room, and didn’t review a single script until weeks after the film was in theaters.

Please, read this article if you have some time. This story is wild, and involves directors being pitted against each other Bake-Off style and a shockingly intimate documentary created by the wife of Sting who, himself was heartbroken by the decimation of the songs he wrote for the film including cutting a fantastic Yzma villain song sung by Eartha Kitt that is SO DAMN GOOD but would not ever have fit the more nailed-down Yzma we would eventually come to know and love. It’s so catchy though, I’m doubling up on calls to action but please listen now: