Fishing!!! And he knows to pick the bait back up when the koi that are too large to catch start swimming towards it!!!
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@ellasherz
Fishing!!! And he knows to pick the bait back up when the koi that are too large to catch start swimming towards it!!!
hey, worldbuilding thing: Babies are always born the same, the act of raising them into a culture will always feature systematically nipping away traits that do not fit into that culture. And therefore, some traits of foreign cultures will always seem childlike to those who grew up in a different one.
In a culture where it’s considered dignified to not express any emotion outwardly - or at least in public - children are raised to control their emotions and not have outbursts. Someone who comes from a culture where open expressions of emotion are considered honest and noble is going to come off as embarrassingly childish while weeping in public.
In a culture where everyone is expected to be open and extroverted, and children are encouraged to be vocal and expressive, someone from a more withdrawn culture where people keep their distance is going to come off as childishly shy.
In a place where essentially all adults habitually chew on a root that dyes your entire mouth black, only children have white teeth and pink gums and tongue. An adult person with a pink mouth and undyed teeth is going to appear strangely child-like.
Children are naturally prone to the full range of human emotion and behaviour. Culture is about which parts of that are cut off, and which traits are encouraged. And so, grown people from different cultures who discourage and cultivate completely different things will have traits that this other culture only ever sees in young children. I’m not sure where I was going with this, but I hope you find it useful.
something sad but also kind of sweet ive noticed about human trait mirroring (i.e. seeing someone regularly preform a physical or verbal action and adapting it as your own) is that even years after a person has stopped being in my life theyve still left pieces of themself within me. i still smile and wave like my childhood best friend did. i still pull my shirts up to cover my face when im embarrassed because my favorite college roommate did that. ive learned how to be a human being through all those around me, and those after me will likely learn the same way too.
would love to see a hero decay where it’s the one who follows all the rules who goes too far instead of the rulebreaker
every day there is a new media where two people are fighting together for a system. they both come to realise the system is flawed, and while one of them tries to take the system down, the other decides it is still necessary and must be protected at all costs. why is it always the first one who becomes the villain? who is deeply sympathetic but goes too far in their quest for justice? i think for once it should be the second one who is trying so hard to protect the system they believe in that they slowly slip into tyranny
there is literally nothing narratively juicier than these two having once been friends. the lawful evil antagonist who feels all they do is justified because the rebel betrayed them, who has to prove it, has to follow every law to the letter, otherwise they lost the rebel for nothing. the chaotic good hero who once considered the tyrant the upright standard of moral order, who will never be able to stop questioning themself and their cause because they once trusted the tyrant’s judgement absolutely
What's a TIRF?
Trans-Inclusive Radical Feminist, a TERF with different window dressing. They still share a lot of things in common, like the belief that a women-only space will be free of oppression or abuse. (Sorry, gonna soapbox a bit here)
Where a TERF believes it’s growing up with a penis and testosterone that makes someone fundamentally harmful and destructive, a TIRF believes it’s their masculinity. So TERFs exclude trans women but want trans men back as their “lost lesbian sisters”, and TIRFs accept trans women who have rejected masculinity sufficiently, but see trans men as the worst kind of traitor. Both varieties of radical feminist still believe men, however they define them, are fundamentally bad and oppressive, and cannot ever interact with or be in relationships with women without harming them.
Both groups, in my mind, fail to realize that women are just as capable of cruelty and evil as men are, and what makes a space safe is not its demographic makeup but the way its members agree to treat each other; that sex discrimination is not the only form of oppression in the world, and race, class, disability, and other factors can be just as important; and that lateral violence is not the same as fighting oppression.
I now realize I forgot to add; Both groups also fail to realize that men are not fucking evil, and that as human beings, they too possess the capacity for goodness, kindness, generosity, peace, and love. Men can hurt women, but they don’t have to.
People aren’t born inherently good or demonic. Neither biology or gender are destiny. We all get to choose how we respond to the positions we occupy, and whether we choose to collude with or resist the oppressive systems that want to co-opt us. There are good men in the world, and there can be more.
Light candles for me friends, this one made the radfems Big Mad. This two-year-old post factually describes a Tumblr subculture popular at that time that did not self-describe as TIRFs but absolutely held these beliefs. They were really big into claiming that butch/femme terminology was the exclusive property of women who never had sexual or romantic relationships with anyone but other women. They espoused many TERF-like beliefs about the fundamental badness of men, but vehemently denied being TERFs because they accepted trans women into their community. I and several others at the time began calling them TIRFs or TERF-lite™s to discuss this phenomenon in the WLW community. Partly because of those discussions in 2019, they are much less common on Tumblr now. I wish Twitter joy of them.
(Also some people are calling themselves radfems but then preaching literal intersectional third-wave feminism? Like sis, girl, that’s radical feminism in the way bell hooks or Audre Lorde are radical feminist, as in, it was “radical” 30 years ago. Your entire concept of what “libfems” believe is TERF propaganda because what you are describing as “radical feminism” is mainstream feminist thought.)
This whole obsession with wheelchair users struggling on foot down the aisle at their wedding or across the stage for graduation is 100% powered by ableism.
“The heartwarming story of how one woman worked for 8 months straight so she could escape the horror that is being in wheelchair for a few short minutes to struggle slowly and painfully down the aisle on her special day.”
“the horror that is being in a wheelchair” bitch it’s hella better than struggling slowly & painfully down the aisle ffs
“Despite being permanently paralyzed, her one goal since her accident has been to walk across the stage for graduation. The whole crowd gave her a standing ovation and broke into tears when she dragged her paralyzed legs across the stage with the help of leg braces and a walker to collect her diploma, after which she immediately sat back down in her wheelchair, which she will use to move around for the rest of her life.”
How the hell is this an inspirational story? This person needs better goals. And a therapist.
They’re toxic in an even greater way because as a disabled person, I didn’t realise till I was reading this how much I had internalised that. I genuinely have had feelings of fear and shame about using a chair or a walker if I get married. And why? Because I’m constantly seeing “heartwarming” stories about disabled people who shed their mobility aids for that moment. Why the hell am I afraid of using them to get married? Anyone who marries me or attends the wedding will know I need them and love me regardless.
Bless this post for making me realise I’d internalised that shit.
These types of stories teach people, both abled and disabled, that using mobility aids, especially wheelchairs, is inferior.
here are some beautiful brides in chairs with dresses they ROCK. I know a lot of disabled ppl with internalized ableism think they “won’t look good” if they use their chair, but here’s some literally gorgeous gals for ur consideration
(that last ones cute as fuck and i teared up at it)
Who needs a bouquet when you can be a bouquet?
I made my addition to this post in June 2019. Its now January 2020 and I no longer feel guilty about the idea of going down the aisle one day with mobility aids.
God bless the disabled community, y'all saved me from some internalised bullshit
This post floated by a few months ago, and I remember something to effect of there’s a difference between recovery and refusal. That is, like, I have a friend that suffered an incomplete spinal cord injury. He can walk again now, and I don’t think I’ve seen him use his chair in a few years. When he walked at his graduation, it was to show off his recovery. That he wasn’t quite ready to go through a full day upright, but he could walk across a stage, unassisted, and soon he would be able to do that every day. There’s also a difference in someone like me choosing to not use a mobility aid. My mobility is intensely fluid, especially seasonally. So, I would plan a summer wedding. And while I love my cane it can also be the biggest pain in my ass, so I’d want to just go unassisted. But that’s normal for me, at least right now. I can walk without an aid during about half of the year. It’s reasonable to assume I can make it through one day without it. All of that is different than someone that is fully and permanently paralyzed, that will never walk again, dragging themselves along because they feel that’s somehow better. Overall though, my biggest takeaway is fuck the media. Because disabled people should be able to make whatever decision they want without the media turning it into this grand inspirational story.
Disabled people should be able to make whatever decision they want without the media turning it into this grand inspirational story.
THIS.
Couldn’t pass up the opportunity to add my disabled joy to this post. Look at this love!
Taking the opportunity to add these photos of Jessica Kellgren-Fozard and her wife Claudia, from this twitter post. Jessica also has a youtube channel that’s primarily about disability and chronic illness and LGBT stuff (it’s amazing!)
I would also like to personally share, Annika Victoria who ALSO has a youtube channel. This photo was taken from her instagram - she made her wedding dress dress herself, BY HAND. Her youtube channel is mostly DIY fashion and sewing tutorials. I love her so much, she’s so unapologetically herself and informative
I also wanna add these pictures of Ade Adepitan fucking rocking this badass suit at his wedding! Give my fellow disabled mascs some love too
look how much fun they’re both having! yes!
and also this couple, who are both wheelchair users
this is from their beautifully coordinated wedding!
-taps mic- the whole MC going "no pain medication, I don't want to cloud my mind" trope is both ableist and shockingly popular for how plainly ableist it is
(protip: if you're at the point where you're being advised to take pain medication by people who don't want to give you pain medication then your mind is most certainly already clouded by pain)
With severe enough injuries, your personal opinion on pain meds doesn't even fucking matter because in order to physiologically heal, certain muscles need to be not involuntarily clenching in order to heal--and they will be involuntarily clenching if you are in pain! Pain meds are not solely a palliative measure, they are also a form of direct, necessary treatment
When pain medication is deemed Necessary, it is so necessary that standard procedure is to take the next dose before the last one has worn off, because pain that severe is that debilitating
not sure who needs to hear this but its okay to need someone. its okay to need support and its okay to need help. youre allowed to need people to help you and support you and comfort you. youre not a burden for it and youre not selfish or inconsiderate for needing to rely on others for help when you cant help yourself. i love you and please let yourself seek comfort from others 💕
Sometimes I just ignore anon hate because theres a proverb I learnt in a Nigerian movie that said. ‘You cannot run naked after a mad man in the street after he has taken your clothes away from you because the public will not know who is the mad person between the two of you’
I feel like this proverb was based on firsthand experience.
That is weirdly specific but also a pretty good point
The version I learned was “Never wrestle with a pig. You only end up covered in mud and the pig enjoys it.”
I’ve also seen “Never play chess with a pigeon. The pigeon will just knock over the pieces, shit on the board, and strut around like it won the game.”
there's good in this world, and I found a little bit of it in you
i am once again here to tell you how much i love books with fake media in them
First of all, as people will warn any writer who puts real pop culture references in their work, you risk being outdated within a few years. Will high schoolers referencing The Good Place still feel accurate and relevant in 2023, or have you dated your book? Are you relying on What The Teens Like to make your fictional teens Accurate and Relevant, and is that a cop out? Sure, you can argue that some pop culture things are going to stick around for a long time, but are you sure you’ve picked references that are going to, and are you sure the media you’ve chosen is going to retain the same associations in the future?
Second of all, I just enjoy people making up fake books, movies, and shows for their characters to be fans of, because it means another story within the story. That’s more story per story! You’ve got story squared!
And third of all, branching off from that: if you make up your own story for the characters to reference, you can make sure it’s a story that really resonates with your main story, that really and truly adds to and deepens your book in a way that maybe referencing Harry Potter wouldn’t
This is an extreme example because in the Queen’s Thief series the characters literally tell these myths in full to other characters, but Megan Whalen Turner making up new myths for her fantasy world is not only an integral part of the worldbuilding of the series—any QT fan will tell you, the myths are also interesting parallels to and commentary on and foreshadowing for the events of the series. They pull a lot of weight! Using actual Greek myths would not have had the same impact, because the Greek myths weren’t tailor made to interact with Turner’s story the way her own myths are
For a contemporary example, I’m reading Alyssa Cole’s novella Can’t Escape Love right now. and the main character is a big fan of a fictional anime called Reject Squad Ultra, which seems like a throwaway fake show at first, but the characters actually talk about it a lot and you come to realize that Reggie really empathizes with the main character of the show, and that it really reflects and helps her process her feelings about being disabled and her tumultuous relationship with her sister. it’s actually integral to understanding her character!
Maybe you don’t want to make your Fake Media so obviously calibrated to your characters, and maybe it’s just not that big a part of your story, okay. But having just talked yesterday about how every part of a book can be utilized to further its message, i think it’s worth considering if you can make whatever point you want to make with your reference by referencing something equally fictional
hey have you read jonathan strange and mr norrell? it’s a book from about 15 years ago written in a regency era style about 2 magicians who rely on like,, written texts and histories of magic and so on, and the author makes up loads of fake book titles, histories of their authors and details about them including really long seemingly irrelevant anecdotes about fairies, told to us mostly by copious footnotes that often take up multiple whole pages each. i really think you’d enjoy it if you haven’t already <3 and it’s very much this kind of thing
i haven’t read it yet but this is undoubtedly the most successful way it’s ever been pitched to me
list of mundane things that feel like ancient human rituals
cleaning or wipe your bare feet
breaking off a piece of bread and handing it to someone
putting the weight of a basket on your hip or head
eating nuts or berries while hunched over close to the ground
seeing something startling just out of your line of sight and very quickly stepping or leaping on to a larger object to get a better view
cupping your hands into running water to wash your face
the unanimous protection of a baby or child in a public space where women are present
when an elderly woman laughs and grips your forearm tightly
crossing your legs so a cat can curl up in your lap
seeing something beautiful and gesturing for the nearest stranger to come look
rolling over a log to see the bugs on the underside
picking up a good stick and swishing it around to hear the Stick Noise
everything to do with making a fire outdoors
poking at things and creatures on a shore
putting a particularly nice fruit where everyone can see it
Turning dirt over and planting seeds
saying “cows” when you see some cows while driving, and doing the like with Horses, Sheep, Deer etc.
Going out of your way to get close to the edge of any body of water to see if there are fish in it.
Thump side of dog like bongo drums
Breaking a stick or stick-like object (spaghetti, straw hay, etc.) in half anf half again and half again and so on.
Pulling up a handful of grass and dumping it on your friend.
Walking barefoot in soft grass/dirt
Looking up at the sky for at least a moment any time you are out on a clear night
Listening to the sound of any moving water like the ocean, a river, or even rainfall
Walking outside on a particularly nice day and pausing for a moment just to exist in it
most of us need to be shown how to be considerate
not as a criticism or anything, I just mean that
A. being able to care for other people is a skill that’s practiced and honed
B. being considerate for each person is so wildly different, 90% of the time you will have no way of knowing how to be considerate for someone until they show you
C. you can try to get better at figuring out what people need implicitly, but all that skill really is is listening so just get better at listening
D. being good at listening and adapting on the fly is maybe the most precise definition of being considerate I can think of, so strive for that and just know you’re never gonna be a telepath
“if no art makes you feel anything, make your own art and feel something” is too raw of a line to have come from a jenna marbles video of her painting a rainbow/polka dot seahorse saying “it’s seahorse time” on a denim jacket
i pulled the sword from the stone but got shy and put it back. hope nobody minds
if you remember that life is fluid you’ll never feel stuck. nothing is the end all or your only option. when something ends it’s your time to start something new. it doesn’t matter how often doors close if you’re always moving forward. don’t dwell or try to open those old doors. the more you keep moving, the more you’ll see life is working in your favor.
Random, but a really handy way to make things seem creepy or wrong in horror is to make them incongruously neat or clean:
In the middle of a horrific battlefield, you find one corpse laid aside neatly, straightened and arranged, its arms crossed neatly across its chest
As you walk through the garden, you gradually realise that the oddness you’ve been noticing about the trees is that they are all perfectly symmetrical
As you move through the abandoned house, you realise that suddenly that there’s no dust in this room, no dirt or cobwebs
You hear hideous noises coming from behind a locked door, screams and pleas, and visceral sounds of violence. When you manage to break down the door, there is no one there, and the room is perfectly spotless
In the middle of a horrific battlefield, a hollow full of churned mud and blood, you find five corpses cleanly dismembered, each set of limbs or parts neatly laid out in their own little row
You witness a murder, a brutal, grisly killing that carpets the area in blood. When you return in a blind panic with the authorities, the scene is completely clean, and no amount of examination can find even a drop of blood
You run through the night and the woods with a comrade, pulling each other through leaves and twigs and mud as you scramble desperately towards freedom. When you finally emerge from the forest, in the grey light of dawn, you turn to your companion in relief, and notice that their clothes are somehow perfectly clean
You hand a glass of water to your suspect, talking casually the whole while, and watch with satisfaction as they take it in their bare hand and take a drink. There’ll be a decent set of prints to run from that later. Except there isn’t. There are no prints at all. As if nothing ever touched the glass
You browse idly through your host’s catalogue, and stop, and pay much more attention, when you realise that several items on a dry list of acquisitions are ones you’ve seen before, and it slowly dawns on you that each neat little object and number in this neat little book are things that belong (belonged?) to people you know
Neatness, particularly incongruous neatness, neatness where you expect violence or imperfection or abandonment, or neatness that you belatedly realise was hiding violence, or neatness that is imposed over violence, is incredibly scary. Because neatness is not a natural thing. Neatness requires some active force to have come through and made it so. Neatness implies that the world around you is being arranged, maybe to hide things, to disguise things, to make you doubt your senses, or else simply according to something else’s desires. Neatness is active and artificial. Neatness puts things, maybe even people, into neat little boxes according to something else’s ideals, and that’s terrifying as well. Being objectified. Being asked to fit categories that you’re not sure you can fit, and wondering what will happen to the bits of you that don’t.
Neatness, essentially, says that something else is here. Neatness where there should be chaos says that either something came and changed things, or that what you’re seeing now or what you saw then is not real. Neatness alongside violence says that something came through here for whom violence did not mean the same thing as it does to you.
Neatness, in the right context, in the right place, can be very, very scary
And fun
I love it when cleanliness is next to ungodliness.